Yeah, I lied. I had to continue!

"And once again, we have returned! I'm monkeybait!"
"And I'm Soledad!"
"And you're watching—say it with me audience…"

"THE ERAGON DATING GAME!" the audience shouted, cheering and clapping.

"And now, I do believe it's Angelina and Gertrude's turn to spin, spin, spin the wheel of misfortune!" I said happily. The two old people came up and spun it. Even though they did it together, unlike Arya, the wheel only spun a little. Soledad blew on it and it went faster. It landed on a picture of someone standing next to an igloo.

"Ooh, this is good," Soledad said. "This is-"

"This is my show," I said sticking out my tongue. Then I felt bad, so I said, "Fine, you introduce it."

"Yay!" Soledad clapped her hands. "In this game, you have to survive several challenges in the Arctic- let's call it the Igloolympics. Then we do this cool little thing that's kind of like survivor where you vote someone off that you dislike. Kind of like my sister hating Nasuada. Any questions? None? Yay! Let's get started!"

They suddenly appeared next to an igloo. Soledad, Eragon, and I watched from the safety of that little room again.

"I wish you would just flipping tell me where you're keeping my dragon. And I never asked for this! I can get a date for Arya by myself!" Eragon yelled.

"You wish," I commented. Eragon said nothing, but in his head had to admit I was right. Which I always am.

"Okay, task one: puffin hunting!" an Eskimo said.

"Don't worry, they're just plastic puffins," I quickly told an angry mob of armed vegetarians.

The Eskimo continued. "The person who hits the most puffins with their arrows gets a free slip to miss one of the most dangerous games." Everyone who valued their lives became rather attentive at that moment.

"What's the catch?" Arya asked plainly. Maud started eating her igloo.

"Catch? Ah, yes. The catch. Thank you for reminding me," the Eskimo dude said, "You need to hit the plastic puffins twice. When you hit them once, they will try to kill you. The second time, you will kill them. Any questions?"

"Yeah. Will we actually, oh I dunno, DIE!" Elva asked.

"Well, I'd place the pain somewhere between getting hit by a horse trailer and getting struck by lightning," the Eskimo dude replied calmly. "Any more questions?"

It was silent. Everyone was kind of worried.

"Great, get started then." The Eskimo gave them each a crossbow with suction cupped arrows and they walked into the frozen tundra that was Euraska.

"Wait, what's Euraska?" Eragon asked.

"The area that Europe and Alaska share. Duh," Sol and I reply in unison. "You can read about it in here." I hand him a copy of a book called Eurpeople.

NameLevel of Archery

AryaAwesome

GertrudeAwful

AngelinaPoor Quality

ElvaTerrible

ElainDisappointing

MaudCan't Even Hold the Bow

"On three! Ready… three!" I shouted. Arya, who had the best shot because she was an elf, got five puffins in the first ten seconds. Gertrude and Angelina possessed their arrows to go wherever they told them to, so they got disqualified from the first game.

"That's pretty weenie!" I shouted at them as they left. That was generally pretty fast.

Elva and Elain didn't want to be attacked by puffins, so they hid under the ground, which turned out to be the home of a hibernating polar bear. They got attacked anyway. Maud is kind of just stupid, so Arya won. Arya accepted the pass to playing the most dangerous game happily.

"Thanks, but I don't think I'll ever use it," Arya said in her same monotonous voice.

"Yes you will," Elva retorted.

"No I won't."

"Yes you will."

"No I won't."

"Yes you will."

"No I won't."

"Breath holding contest!" Elva shouted, because adult as her voice was, she was still only four.

"Bring it!" Arya shouted back, because she never let's up a challenge. They both held their breath until their cheeks turned purple. Elva lost because she has a smaller lung capacity. She started crying uncontrollably. Her tears froze to her face, which made her cry harder, which made even more tears freeze to her face.

"Stop crying, it's time for the next challenge!" Soledad shouted. "I believe its Maud's turn to spin the wheel."

Maud hissed and jumped on top of the wheel. It landed on a picture of a glowing sword.

"OMGness! Light saber battle!" I shouted, swinging a bright pink light saber dangerously so that everyone had to take cover for a few moments.

"What's a light saber?" Elain asked.

"You mean you've never seen Star Wars?" I said utterly shocked. Sure, maybe I haven't seen Star Wars either, but I've seen the commercials for the action figures and the video games and the Legos. "Okay, whatever. These are like swords. Except their glowing and come in a variety of colors (that's the best part). In this game, you try to knock each other off into a giant puddle of pudding."

"Wait, but that has nothing to do with Igloos," Arya pointed out. I slapped myself in the forehead.

"Oh, duh! Yeah, you have to hit them into a slushie mixer instead. Sorry." I poured cherry blend into a vast cavern of churning snow. "Now, I will draw one name out of a hat-"

"Aw, come on! That has to be the stupidest way to elect anyone for this game!" Arya shouted.

"Out of a hat? Do you want me to flip a coin? Do you want to play rock paper scissors?" I asked. They didn't know what that was, so I drew a name out of that hat. "And the person who is challenging Freddy the Eskimo is…"

Doom, doom, doom! SUSPENSE! Sorry for not updating for a while, by the way. I'll try to do it faster. Thanks to bushes283, Arya Drottning, spearofhope, Blondiegirlz4, and Mistress-of-Misery for sending a review! Muchas gracias!