PART 3
A/N: Uh… hi! Yeah, I'm back. From the dead… seriously! Yeah, I know I don't seem to regularly update, but most of my energy goes into my other writing (which is nearing its ending stages). That said, I do intend to continue (and eventually complete) this journal, right up to RotS. After that, a have a trilogy of sequels planned. (Yep, kind of based around the OT. The first of these is in the final planning stages.)
Anyway, Thanks all for your reviews… not so many for the last chapter, but that's ok. Maybe as I build this fiction up, there'll be more interest.
This time, the Chosen One makes their grand entrance into the world… er, galaxy!
Now… onto my replies to your lovely reviews!
Tanydwr: Thanks! Yes, the major parts of the story will still happen, such as (quote): "attack on Naboo, Separatists, Clone Wars, Empire, etc." But of course, with my own twist! I want to keep it familiar, yet different.
Yes, Anakin will fall for Padmé, which in some ways will be similar, but I'm going to do some things different past their point of "falling in love", since Anakin will have slight differences in his personality. That isn't to say he won't still have problems and issues. As for being ostracised for his mother… I don't really want to answer too much, since then nothing will be a surprise!
By standard week, yes I mean an earth week of seven days. I've never heard of any length of time of what a week is in Star Wars, so I was forced to be creative. If five days is supposedly canon, then is it in EU or something? If so, then that explains why I don't know – I know tiny bits and pieces of EU, but I've never immersed myself in it. I did consider creating an entirely different type of calendar, but in working on the idea, it was too confusing, so I'm going with the good old earth system. I hope that's ok:)
Thanks for your long review… I appreciated it.:) I hope you're still interested after all this time!
Green Apples Take Over The World: Thank-you! Can't get much better praise than that:) I liked your user name… creative!
IntotheBlue11: Thanks! Yeah, I wanted to establish Dooku's own path to the dark side, and the journey he takes with it. Sorry it took awhile, but I hope you're still interested!
REV042175: Thanks! Nope, the story is still going… and even though my updates are few and far between, it's far from forgotten. The problem is; there are many holes in my planning, and that my other writing takes most of my time. Mmm hmm, yep, it is my intention (for now) to (quote) have Shmi as: "very prim and proper, as well as, a strict abider of the Code." Of course, through the events of her journal we'll see some things shift in her personality, but for now she is as you've accurately described.
Thanks, I'm glad that you think I've still kept her personality even though her circumstances are entirely different. As for the way she chose the names, well, I myself have an interest in names in their histories and how people select them, so I thought it would simply make sense! Of course, the meanings are entirely fictitious and have no connection to any real language.
As for 'Master Dooku' – we probably won't hear more about him for awhile… but let's just say he's a little too curious for his own good, and he is slowly descending into the dark side. That's what I'm trying to establish with his character.
Thanks for your thoughts… I do appreciate them!
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Day: 04, Month: 03, Year: 25372
The day draws near, of that I am certain. Only a few, short standard weeks left… or so Shula informs me! I have to say that the word 'short' is overrated. She has clearly never been in the position of carrying a mystery baby! Hmm… perhaps I should start again. My condition leaves my personality a lot to be desired, especially as we are all expectantly counting down
If there is one thing I can say about all of this, is that I've never felt so out of control in my entire life. I am spending many, many hours in quiet meditation, only to have it disturbed by discomfort. Though physical appearances are meaningless, when it comes to the heart of the Force, I feel as large as an overweight Hutt!
All discomfort and frustrations aside, I know a true miracle of the Force has taken place, and quiet moments of awe of being a part of something so momentous catch me quite suddenly. Master Yoda tells me that the Force has willed to be, and that while the main purpose of this experience is to produce the babe that grows inside my womb, I am to be irrevocably altered as to take part in the events of history. Humbling to be sure… I'm no better or worse than any other Jedi. I'm simply a quiet Master who enjoys the challenges of following where the Force wills.
The rest of the Council, while united in support, don't all support some of what Master Yoda was implying in this. Apparently Master Yoda has been shown much through meditation in the Force, as he leads the Council and needs to know, simply 'what is'. Master Yoda has been seeing the ways the lives of this child, and mine are linked. It's almost as if, in some ways at least, the pillars on which the Order stands are being shaken and thrown carelessly aside. It's almost as if some things simply aren't as important as the Order thinks they are, and that The Order is being challenged out of stagnancy. It's an alarming thought. The source of the controversy is this; Master Yoda believes in the importance of the way the Order does things and how training takes place, but that this child was placed within a Jedi for a reason… so that said Jedi will affect the life of this "Chosen One."
Now, in some ways, the Council is inclined to agree, as Master Yoda is wise and reaches closeness and oneness with the Force in ways greater than most other Jedi. But the fact of a child being separated almost entirely from their parents (or parent, as the case it) is irrefutable. It would seem that despite my position, I can affect the child in no greater way than any other member of the Order. This is currently a source of contention between the Council. Especially given Master Yoda's initial conclusions.
Honestly, I do see both sides of the argument… yet secretly, in my innermost mind, I am thrilled by Master Yoda's suggestion. Naturally, I have other commitments, such as to training Kyra, but I love this child, and know I am it's mother for a reason… even if I don't understand our destinies. I cannot let myself hope too much, but the idea of some level of involvement has appeal. I wonder what made Master Yoda alter his decision. He is not usually one to go back on his word.
This 'discussion', I believe Masters Yoda and Hirdox called it, has been ongoing for some three weeks.
Qui-Gon is displeased by this. While I believe the Council is simply being cautious, and not wanting to give this child an unfair advantage or disadvantage, he suggested I opened my mind to the Force on these matters. He is not permitted to be involved with these sessions, as he is not a member of the Council, but it doesn't mean that I don't confide in him. And simply put, Qui-Gon thinks I'm being too tolerant of their old-fashioned entrapping mind-set. Or so he says.
But despite his frustration with the Council, he does have a great respect for it, just as he has respect for all living things. That is a true gift the Force has bestowed upon him. I think this is where he differs from his own Master.
Speaking of whom, I eventually, and most embarrassedly, confessed what occurred between Master Dooku and myself. He looked slightly saddened, but told me it was in his nature to be suspicious, and not to take it to heart. I did not find this particularly helpful, though I know my revelation must have pained him. I was truly sorry for this, but I believed his behaviour most unbecoming for Master of the Jedi Order. Qui-Gon, did, however assure me, it would not happen again, and would have a heart-to-heart with his friend and Master. We would have discussed more, or even meditated on this together, but at that moment, Obi-Wan came tearing in, requiring his Master's immediate assistance. Then, realising the time, I slowly and carefully made my way to attend a duel Kyra was scheduled to participate in.
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Day: 29, Month: 03, Year: 25372
The day, at last has come. I sit here, in a private chamber in the healing centre, tended to by dearest Shula, as the pains began some hours ago. It is tiring, and painful at this point, so meditation gives me great peace during this unsettling and exciting occasion. It also relieves much of the pain.
Shula has been very tender towards me, but woe betide any who dare visit me "in my delicate condition"! Shula has 'kindly' permitted Yoda entrance to monitor my progress, a brief visit from Qui-Gon, and of course my Padawan Kyra. Any other would be visitors have been 'advised' to call in later, once "the patient has given birth and is rested enough." Which if Shula had her way, would probably be two weeks!
In fact, I can overhear her now. It sounds as if she is speaking with Masters Neenah Hirdox and Dria Jabar.
"Come, come, Master Sinni," Master Hirdox is uttering in her soft voice. "We merely wish to sit with Shmi, and offer our support."
"With all due respect, Master Hirdox," Shula is firmly replying, "but Master Skywalker requires her rest. I will duly inform you when the babe is born."
I can hear Dria arguing. Brave woman, facing Shula's wrath. "We only wish to see her briefly… we will over-excite or cause her any stress."
I can almost see the expression on Shula's face… "Perhaps you'd like to discuss this with Masters Sarang and Radesh?"
Masters Sarang and Radesh are the two most senior healers. Highly respected, austere, with amazing oneness with the Force. Most definitely not too be messed with. I once even saw Master Sarang temporarily turn back Master Yoda during an emergency. No-one argues with him!
A most entertaining perform--
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Now, after that pain, back to my writing. The contractions are currently minutes apart, and are rather unpleasant – meditation or no. All I can say is that there's at least a marvellous outcome to this pain.
Oh dear… I hear Shula marching back. Time to face the music.
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I'm glad that's over with! Shula was most unimpressed to find her patient lying on her bed, wielding a datapad. I didn't blame her, I am meant to relax, and not work at all. But I'm not that foolish. I know my limits. And I know, despite her present fierce mood, she is only showing care and concern for me. And I appreciate that.
Seeing what I was doing, Shula stood there, as the base of the bed, scowling, and with her hands on her hips. "And who gave you permission to work on that datapad?" she demanded.
I decided I had better not reveal the fact that Qui-Gon snuck it in to relieve the monotony. I confessed to him that communing with the Force during this time aside, I needed something constructive to do.
I the raised my hand, as a sign of peace. "Shula, I assure you, I am simply writing in my journal. Nothing more than that."
She narrowed her eyes in suspicion, regarding me silently for a few moments. "Very well. But when the time comes, I am confiscating it."
There was nothing to do, but agree. She knows I keep a journal, and that it kept me quiet for now, then well and good.
As she walked away, she stopped and turned around, again facing me. "Next time he pays a visit, I shall inform Qui-Gon that if he brings any more bootleg items with him I am barring his presence for three days."
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Late Evening (Or early hours, I'm not certain which hour of the day it is.)
Day: 29 or 30, Month: 03, Year: 25372
After again meditating after writing the earlier part of this entry, I began having more visions. I have not had any of that nature in months, so they caught me by surprise. Nothing as intense, but they were clearly related to this child who is ready to burst their way into this galaxy.
Despite these visions, and the ever-increasing contractions from which I am weary, a calm sense of peace pervades this room and surrounds me. I sense a quiet awe; it truly feels as if the galaxy depends on this birth. I don't know whether it's my own hopes, but I honestly see no other explanation, unless the prophecy has been misinterpret--
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The pain is grim, but I must continue. It feels as if the fate of the galaxy lies in the balance. Master Yoda spent some time with me, which we used to quietly meditate, and he seems to agree. Of course, he is not the final authority as the Council decides on matters as a collective. Such as with Master Yoda's belief of the level of input I have in the life of this child. He informs me that for now, a consensus has not been decided, and therefore things will proceed as normal. I will be given the opportunity to hold the child, but it will soon be taken away to the nursery. He informs me that;
"Promise to care for your child, Master Jabar does."
This pains me. Though I am irrelevant in the scheme of things, and helpless to the natural flow of the Force, I don't know how I will bear this trial. I had hoped that Master Yoda might have been able to sway the Council in time.
He too, had informed me of having visions of the child. Interestingly, several of the younglings have been unsettled, by what we believe to be related visions. Master Yoda seems to think that that is because children are sometimes far more perceptive in their natural state than with years of training.
My own--
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My own visions of this child have been as if through their eyes. It seems to be some sort of struggle between dark and light. But which is victorious is never clear. If it's dark, how would this bring the Force into balance? The images are not clear ones, mostly feelings. Except… I don't understand it, but a haunting image of what looks like a woman… I cannot make out her features, except that, like me, she's pregnant… and lying, surrounded by molten rocks and fires. Is she dead or unconscious? I cannot say. Master Yoda says that it may come to this, or may not. It's the old Jedi adage of "always in motion, is the future."
It scares me… this is my child, no matter the circumstances. The thought of this little innocent life being exposed to this brings out such strong feelings of protectiveness. Now, naturally, all Jedi feel this as it is part of our mandate… perhaps it's just good old maternal instinct.
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Day: 30, Month: 03, Year: 25372
The child is born. A boy! Just as I planned, he is little Anakin. Little Ani. Little, youngling, Anakin Skywalker.
Dear old Shula has put her foot down, and insisted the child must have a day or two to settle at his mother's side to adjust after the trauma of childbirth. That is at least one way in which her healer's opinion may occasionally supersede the Council's wishes. She truly has a way about her, and is very attuned to the Force… her healer's instinct allows her to understand the physical, mental and spiritual linkages, and what part of a person needs healing. She has told me in not so many words, she senses that Master Yoda's opinion is the correct way to proceed, but does not have to authority to back him as she does not have a seat on the Council. It is fortunate that the healer, Master Jabesh, currently holds a seat. It's not my place to question their decisions, but as I've written here before, I'm Anakin's mother for a reason. Even if I don't know what the full implications of this are.
Little Ani is simply, amazingly, perfect! He's almost bald, but he has eyes as blue as the lakes of Reytsa. He has ten little fingers, and ten little toes! I just held him in my arms and simply watched him. A helpless little infant, on whom the Force has called into being.
Even now, as he lies in his bed-pod, I watch him. I watch him with such overwhelming love that I ver thought possible. It barely even registers that attachment is forbidden. This is my child, and I love him. It is as simple as that.
I was very weary after the delivery, and still am. I've only had a short sleep and briefly meditated, but I need to see that Anakin is still here. I need to write what I am feeling, and watch him. Attachment may be forbidden, but what of the physical bond that exists between mother and their child? The cord that ties, the cord that is never broken spiritually. I still feel this bond. He is my flesh, and our link is immutable. Truly the ways of the Force are mysterious. Even with rules and regulations put into place, the Force works outside of these… never confined by mere mortals. We are but barely flickering particles of dust in the grand scheme of things.
I watched Anakin, as Master Yoda entered, and as Shula took a blood sample. This simply proves the Force achieves the impossible… other than in prophecies of the Force, can we even begin to explain or comprehend this. But when Shula placed the sample in the reading device, she stared in shock.
Qui-Gon, who had quietly slipped in during all of this, stood near Yoda, expectantly. I was pleased to see him. Though Shula is a friend, I was glad to see someone who present merely for the sake of being present – as support, not in an official capacity.
Shula finally found her tongue, ending the tension that had steadily been building in the room.
"Over 20,000 midichlorians," she proclaimed dazedly.
We all stood (or in my case, lay) there stunned. Who, in the entire history of the Jedi, had ever had a level that high? The answer was simple.
"No-one," Master Yoda pronounced, "that level, has had. Strange this is, but not unexpected. If conceived of the midichlorians this youngling is, a high concentration proves."
Shula, Qui-Gon and myself all met each other's eyes, no easy feat. Similar expressions of shock and amazement crossed our faces. Surely this proved the prophecies correct? It was the only way to explain Anakin's existence, or his midichlorian level. Or my visions… especially those as I delivered Anakin, in my final throes of labour.
Master Yoda's face bore no answers. "Present this evidence to the Council, I will. Have an answer soon, I hope."
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What happens next time, when Shmi writes of her delivery? And what does the Council decide? Coming soon is Part 4!
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