Sorry, I didn't realize in the last chapter there is some bad spacing with their levels of archery. I'll fix that ASAP. But I'm not making a promise, so please remind me if I forget!

"And we're back!" I shouted smiling until it felt like my teeth would break. "And you're watching the-"

"ERAGON DATING GAME!" the audience screamed at the top of their lungs, because now they were all really hyped up.

"Thaaaaaaat's right folks, the Eragon Dating Game! For those of you who don't remember, we were right in the middle of the Igloolympics, where one contestant is going to battle my man Freddie here-" Freddie grins and waves "- in a dangerous battle of knocking them off into a whirling swirling death trap… that happens to be the in the flavor of cherry!"

Silence.

"This is when you gasp," I hinted flatly.

"Gasp!" the audience gasped anxiously.

"Speaking of which, I was in the middle of pulling a name out of a hat," I said. I dug into a baseball cap. "And the lucky one is… Elain!"
"Pardon?" Elain said in a squeaky voice.

"Elain, Elain, from Carvahall, who has just about no skills at all!" I sang. Elain hit me with a frying pan. "Yes, yes, I'm kidding of course… never doubt girl power, even if it's from the 1500's or whatever…" I added, rubbing a bright red welt that had formed on my scalp.

"So, Elain, are you ready for action?" Soledad asked.

"Uh… sure, why not?" Elain said, shrugging despite the fact that this could mean death.

The contestants watched outside in the snow. Elain found her balance on a pole hanging over a slushie maker. In her hands was a green light saber used for knocking over the person she was fighting. Freddie got on the other end; his light saber was purple. Sol, Eragon, and I watched from the safety of our room again.

"Yeah! Go Freddie!" Sol and I shouted, showing out midriffs which had "Freddie Rocks" written on them. It became pretty cold, so we covered them with our t-shirts that read the same thing.

"This isn't fair at all! I like Elain, though I don't want to date her, and I wish you'd leave everyone alone!" Eragon shouted. "AND I WANT MY DRAGON BACK!"

"Oh, Eragon, do have yourself a slice of humble pie. All in good fun," I said casually.

"Besides, it's not as if we're making your Princess Pointy-Ears do it!" Soledad added, laughing. Eragon considered whacking her with a lacrosse stick.

Elain walked up on the pole, wobbling slightly. It was a short defeat that took like five seconds, but I'll describe it in great detail so it feels like more. Elain breathed heavily, in through her mouth and out through her nose. It came out in little clouds that were so cute I just had to name them all before they disappeared. Freddie however was breathing in through his NOSE and out through his MOUTH. Oh my gosh, they irony of it all! Isn't this just so exhilarating? And what a coincidence, that rivals would breathe the EXACT OPPOSITE WAY. Then, in a swift motion, Freddie brought his light saber above his head. His muscles rippled and he opened his mouth and let out his war screech much like Roran's before bringing it back down the way it had came. Elain cringed and shouted the classic, "Noo-oo-oooooooo!" before dropping her pretty light saber and slowly falling, falling, falling, falling, falling, falling, falling, falling, falling, falling, falling, falling, falling, falling, falling, falling into the strawberry-scented red snow. All the contestants gasped, wondering if they'd ever see Elain again.

"Yeah Freddie! Whoo! Freddie, Freddie, Freddie, Elain is now… deadie! Go, Freddie, go! Go, Freddie, go!" Sol and I shouted, belly dancing and doing the worm. Eragon wacked our heads together.

"Ow, that was not cool," I said, staring at the welt that now matched the one Elain had given me.

"You freaks! You killed Elain!" Eragon yelled.

"No we didn't. We just pretended like we did," Soledad pointed out, packing some snow onto her head. "Owchies."

"Oh." Eragon shrugged.

It was nightfall now and I introduced the next challenge.

"Okay: Elain is gone, but Arya, Elva, and Maud, you guys gotta stand strong. Gertrude and Angelina are back in the games again." A few Gertrude and Angelina fans clapped, though it was a very small round of applause, because it only consisted of a few senior citizen men that thought they were hot.

"What you're going to do," I explained, "is vote one of you off and explain why. See this? You'll talk to the guy running the camera, which is Daphnes. Say hi, Daphnes!" Daphnes said waved, because he's an all-around-good guy. "Then you'll put the slip into here. Any questions?"

"Yeah. Maud and I can't write," Elva replied.

"Oh. Well, just tell Daphnes and he'll write it down for you." Daphnes gave the big thumbs up and I gave it back. "Any questions now? None? Peachy. You may begin."

Elva walked up to the camera and tapped the lens.

"Don't touch," Daphnes warned.

"Why?"

"Because I said so."

"Why?"

"Vote or this creepy puppet eats your brains." Okay, maybe he's not all-around-good.

Elva rolled her eyes. "Puppets don't eat brains."

"Really?" Daphnes stared at the puppet before throwing it behind him. "I thought it did. Man, that stupid thing's been giving me nightmares for weeks."

"Whatever," Elva replied. "I want to vote off Arya."

"Why?"

"Because we're rivals."

"But she's a princess."

"That doesn't mean anything!"

"She's an elf."

"So who flipping cares?" Elva shouted.

"Okay, maybe that doesn't matter, but she'll just use her pass to stay on the show," Daphnes answered, biting into a honey-baked ham.

The gears started turning in Elva's adolescent brain. "Fine, I vote off Maud then. She's such a moron."

"But she's a werecat."

"You think I care!"

"Daphnes, you're not supposed to interfere with the contestants," I said. "You're supposed to be an all-around-good guy!"

"Fine, whatever." Daphnes wrote the name "Arya" onto a slip of paper and put it in a box.

Gertrude and Angelina came up. Since we're not supposed to hear everyone's votes because that would totally spoil it, Angelina and Gertrude left right after that. Then Arya came up.

"I'm voting off Elva for the insignificant little munchkin she is," Arya said angrily, but a piece of paper in the box of mystery. Then came Maud.

"Okay, who are you voting off?" Daphnes asked.

"Meow."

"What's that mean?"

"Purr."

"Dude! You don't make any sense!" Daphnes yelled.

"Hiss."

"Fine, I'm just gonna make you vote off yourself then." Daphnes wrote "Maud" on a little piece of paper. Then Maud's eyes bulged.

"Rrrrrrrrrrrorrrrrrrrrrw!" Maud hissed. She slashed Daphnes to ribbons and that's when we stopped the film and brought out Magical Trevor to fill in for Daphnes.

"Rrrrrrrrrrrorrrrrrrrrrw!" Maud hissed again.

"No! Everyone's supposed to LOVE me!" Magical Trevor flew off in his rocket ship.

"OMG, we're losing our camera men like hot cakes! Go, Soledad, go!" I pushed Sol out the window and she bounced until she was in front of the camera.

"Ooh, so many buttons…" she said, her eyes glistening with happiness.

Finally, everyone had voted, so I came to the center.

"Okay, here's my magic box of sorts," I said, "which today contains votes for who gets kicked off the show. Let us read them."

I draw out the first slip. "Mod. Daphnes! You spelled "Maud" wrong! Oh yeah, Daphnes is in the hospital." I drew out another slip. "Arya." Arya swears. "Arya again." I draw another name. "Maud." I draw the last one. "And…"

We will see who gets voted off in the next chapter! Thanks to Mistress-of-Misery, spearofhope and Moonlight Midnight for reviewing today! Muchas gracias!