When I'm writing this is February 10… so I hope that I put this on there somewhere in the same week.

Answering a few questions, now! Looks like we've got only one, never mind. bushes283 wanted to know if I got the wheel of misfortune from Neopets. Hmm. No, I've been to Neopets before, but I've never heard of the wheel of misfortune. Rats, I thought I made it up. morale crushed Just kidding.

Now for a personal report I just felt like adding in. My thumb's been really wonky; the bone feels like it keeps sliding in and out of place. It doesn't really hurt but it totally frustrates me because I have to snap it into place like every ten seconds.

Also, if anyone knows any details about when the next season of Avatar: The Last Airbender is coming out, send it in a review! PUH-LEASE! I want to know so bad! And for any other Legend of Zelda fans out there, Twilight Princess is coming out the day after my birthday: April 1! That's in exactly 50 days today! Whoot!

"Welcome back to the Eragon Dating Game!" I said smiling. The audience forgot to say it with me because they didn't think I'd say it anymore. "Papa Smurf was just about to tell us the answer to the riddle. Hit it, Smurfy!"

"That's PAPA SMURF," Papa Smurf said angrily. "And the answer is indeed to cover cows. So Elva lost."

"Yes!" Gertrude and Angelina high-fived each other.

"Meow," said Maud, nibbling on Papa Smurf's head. Papa Smurf ran around screaming and Maud chased him.

"Ooh, what do ya got to say, Elva? You got the question wrong, so you lose," I answered, kind of glad this obnoxious little kid was getting off the show. Finally.

"What do I got to say?" Elva grinned evilly and through the stick of dynamite. "I gotta say TIMBER!"

"Timber? But that's for trees," I said before the stick of dynamite hit the ground. Soledad grabbed me and dragged me away. (if you'll recall, she put it behind her back in the first chapter (OO))

BOOM.

"Nooo-ooo-ooo! My set! My beautiful set!" I hugged the ashes of my destroyed TV show. Suddenly, my eyes turned to fire. "WHERE IS THAT LITTLE WITCH?"

"Um… heh, heh… I'll just… you know… leave or something…" Elva said and ran away. I was faster. I jumped on top of her, doggie pile style (rhymish).

"Okay, Eragon, Soledad, and Elva! Prepare to find out what happened to Saphira!" I shouted in an immensely loud voice.

Silence.

"SAPHIRA! THAT'S YOU'RE CUE!" I yelled louder. Saphira flew out and Eragon grinned mucha bigly.

"Saphira! Yay! Now we can go home and get away from these weird freaky people," Eragon said happily.

Not yet.

"Huh? Why not?" Eragon asked.

Because I'm not done breathing fire over this little munchkin.

"Oh."

And I signed a contract.

"You did WHAT?" Eragon yelled. "You signed a contract with THEM?" I gestured over to Soledad and I who were throwing Mr. Potato Heads at Elva.

They may be weird, but I'm getting paid in giraffe carcasses.

"That doesn't mean anything! We've got plenty of meat!"

Well obviously you've never eaten giraffe meat before. Saphira stuck out her tongue which was covered with little yellow bits of fur.

"I don't even know what a giraffe is," Eragon said. Then he got onto Saphira. "Come on, let's get out of here."

"Wait! Come back!" I shouted before Saphira could lift off. "The show's not over yet!"

"Why should we stay? There's no point," Eragon said angrily. "Besides, now my only choices are an insane cat or two old women who are obviously obsessed with me!"

"Yes there is!" I sighed. "I put a microchip in your foot that will electrocute you with a googolplex volts if you go anywhere over ten feet."

"Oh my…." Eragon winced.

Will he get it taken out of his foot at the end of the show?

"Oh, of course he will!" I said truthfully. I really was telling the truth, by the way. "I want there to be a third book, don't I?"

"Uh… sure…?" Eragon said, wondering what the heck I was talking about.

"It's time for our final challenge anyway, so just hold your horses!" I said. "This has to be a really good one. Maud vs. Angelina and Gertrude! Are ya ready for me to spin the Wheel of Ultimate Doom?"

"Ultimate Doom…?" Eragon said.

Ultimate doom? Are they going spelunking in your belly button, Eragon?

"THAT WAS ONE TIME!" Eragon shouted to his dragon. He folded his arms and put on a pouty face.

I spun the wheel. "And the task of Ultimate Doom is… taking care of a dragon egg while making it cross a small river!"

Eragon and Saphira perked up.

"What are you doing with the final two dragon eggs?" Eragon asked, bewildered. "Galbatorix… is supposed… to have those…"

I knew she was evil!

"Yeah, you knew enough to sign a contract with her."

Do shut up.

"What? I found these in my backyard," I said, shrugging.

"Wow, what luck!" Soledad agreed.

"See, these eggs are HIGHLY BREAKABLE," I said so they would feel guilty if they broke it. "HIGHLY! And using foam and popsicle sticks and glue, you have to make a raft for them to float across River Monkeypants-" I show a little diagram of a seven inch deep, four foot long river I made- "And get it across safely. First one to make it wins the date!

"Oh, but a commercial break is here! Sorry, everyone! We'll just have to see what happens in the next chapter!" The camera stops rolling and I walk over to Saphira.

"Oh… I love dragons…" I sniff the air. "What is that?"

"Ew, Saphira… your breath smells like Zimbabwe…" Eragon said, bringing out a scented candle.

Saphira merely grinned. Guess what I did to the Toys R' Us mascot? Go ahead, guess!

….

Wow, it's almost over? I need to make a sequel or something. This was just too much fun.

Take a vote! If you think there should be a sequel, tell me. As for now, tootle-oo! Oh, two chapters in one day… not bad, not bad at all!