(A/N: Erik belongs to himself. Richard belongs to the annals of history. I tell people I belong to Erik. "Lazy Sunday" belongs to Andy Samburg and Chris Parnell. Royal Jelly Donuts really exists and belongs to that nice little family who run the place. If you're ever in Vallejo, California, check them out.)
Chapter Nine: Erik Is A Straight Up G
The birds were chirping, the sun was shining, and Erik lay in darkness in his coffin, feeling tired of it all.
"Blah," said Erik. (The coffin must finally be getting to him.)
He sat up with a stretch and knocked off the headphones that had mysteriously appeared on his head. As he did so, a thumping hip-hop bass line began from somewhere, and without any warning, Erik blurted:
"Lazy Sunday! Wake up in the late afternoon! Call up Richard just to see how he's doin'!"
Erik grabbed the phone and shouted into it without even dialing: "Hello! What up, Rich?"
To his surprise, Richard's voice rapped back, "Hey Erik, what's crackin'?"
"You thinkin' what I'm thinkin'?"
"TETHERBALL!"
"Then it's happenin'!"
Erik slammed down the receiver aggressively and glanced out the window at the Royal Jelly Donuts store across the street, suddenly overcome by an urge to shout, "I'm the Phantom (what?) of the Opera! Yes, I'm the Phantom (what?) of the Opera! Cause I'm the Phantom (what) of the Opera!"
Upstairs, Richard was shaking with laughter.
"I can't believe I helped you do this," he sighed at Megan.
"That's what happens if you play subliminal recordings of 'Lazy Sunday' in a man's ear all night," Megan replied.