A/N: Well, better late than never I suppose. Thanks for the reviews.
"Well done again Raziel" The Elder God's perpetually cheerful voice filled Zephon's chamber. "Now you have the wonderful ability to climb. I mean, I know you could climb before, but you can climb bigger things than trees, if there were any trees..." The Elder God's voice trailed off. "Anyway, go climb places you couldn't get to before because nobody liked them so never built stairs and see what you can find. See it as a temporary holiday sort of thing."
Raziel blinked, not entirely sure of what the Elder God was rambling on about. "Very well." He murmured, and examined his claws. So he could climb now? Over a thousand years worth of evolution and the best Zephon had managed was climbing? Then again, it was fairly tame, and tameness in relation to Zephon was better than anyone could hope for. With a shrug, Raziel set off to find a way out.
The pipes of the Silenced Cathedral creaked as if in mourning for their master. Though it was more likely that Zephon's body weight now removed from the top of the building allowed the structure and everything in it to attempt to revert back to it's original position after centuries of being squashed.
Feeling the building move around him (Raziel toyed with the idea of this being surreal, but that would be hypocritical coming from a walking, talking, deep fried blue soul-sucking corpse), Raziel escaped through one of the Elder Gods spectral train platforms. Perhaps he would point him in the right direction. He missed his A-Z map of Nosgoth.
The Elder God debated whether to give Raziel another hit to where he should be going. He sniggered at the thought and decided to encourage Raziel in a particular direction. "Raziel, if you go to the canyons, there may be something of interest there. If not, it gives you some exercise and you can practice your climbing."
Raziel huffed and set off. He didn't need exercise. He didn't need to practice climbing. The Elder God spoke no sense and this unlife was troubling him. He whinged all the way there.
The decayed building had been pushed up by the tremors that were shaking Nosgoth. Its occupant wasn't happy. It made guarding the place difficult when he found himself being knocked over every couple of decades. How was he supposed to do his job properly?
Raziel found himself in something that may have once been a courtyard. In the centre stood what remained of some kind of monument. Dumahim littered the courtyard, none of which looked particularly romantic or willing to marry, but there was a spear propped up against the wall. With minimal fuss, Raziel dispatched them, and went to inspect the remains.
Morlock sat and sniffed the air. Something was off. He'd sat in this chamber for longer than he cared to remember apart from the occasions he'd been thrown off his chair by some damn earthquake. The air in this building hadn't changed since some fresh air had accidentally got in the place, along with some of those damn Dumahim that kept loitering outside. He killed any that came in, that was his job. This didn't smell like a Dumahim, it was more like an old takeaway, whereas he didn't like to mention what the Dumahim smelt like. He decided to let the strange smelling creature come to him. He wouldn't leave his post.
Of course, it all led to block puzzles. Everything Raziel did came down to block puzzles. He tugged at the block, and grumbled about the draft from behind it. Behind the block was a large chamber. Raziel, being the kind of creature that is drawn to lurk within large chambers, draft or no draft, sneaked in.
"Ah Raziel, you got here then" The Elder God's voice chimed in. There was no escaping it.
Raziel kicked a stone and whined. Damn interfering squid. "What is this place?"
"Look for yourself, I found it amusing."
Raziel grumbled a curse in the Elder God's general direction. He stepped forward and squinted at the wall. A glint of recognition; his name was scratched onto the wall. With a triumphant laugh he stepped up to brush the dust away from the wall. The Elder God was trying to humiliate him with what remained of his brethren's fledgling days? He clawed at the wall. No 'woz ere' emerged. He moved along to the next one. It should have read 'Turel w-' in sweeping, loopy handwriting, followed by a chicken scratch that read '-ears women's clothes!'. The younger brothers had found it hilarious until Turel had congratulated them on their accurate guess. No one picked on Turel after.
Strangely, the words didn't appear.
"So, have you guessed yet?" Anticipation tinged the Elder God's voice, like an over excited parent encouraging a reluctant teenage child to open a present.
"There is nothing to guess." Raziel said, though doubt was starting to sink into his mind. The fact 'Dumah' was spelt correctly implied it hadn't been Dumah himself who had written it
"Of course there is, don't be a spoil-sport."
"This is some horrible trick. Or Kain's idea of humour."
"This my lad was the cosmic joke of the age. I have never been fond of your ex-master, but even I laughed over that one. I thought you should see it. You should appreciate good humour. Company policy you know."
Raziel nodded. "Fair enough. But this has only served to heighten my hatred of Kain. How could he raise Sarafan, who wore only classical armour, with dignity and nobility and a commanding air about it - their grasp of colour co-ordination and sense of style that would rival even Rahab's - and force us to wear strange trousers of his own design? Mass produced, plain leather trousers and a half-cape, when we once wore only armour designed and created specifically for us!" Raziel fumed, his eyes glowing angrily. "Kain..." He growled threateningly.
"You really have a thing about them trousers don't you?" The Elder God asked. Curiosity had finally got the better of him.
Raziel blinked. "No." He coughed. "So then, now you have revealed this big cosmic joke, where do I go?"
"Have a look around this place, finish your day off, then I'll tell you more."
Raziel turned to leave. With one final glance back, he made his way out, and to explore the rest of ruins.
"I can't leave you to do anything right can I?" The Elder God sounded exasperated. "Stay in the room, go spectral and then the floor will go weird and drop and then you come out of spectral and then someone will be there to greet you." He took a breath. "You nearly buggered up my plans there you know." There was a pause. "Damn, did I say that out loud?"
Raziel was startled. "Plans?" He frowned, then he grinned humourlessly. "I knew it! And I knew I'd get it out of you somehow." He added quickly. He really did miss his A-Z of Nosgoth. He idly hoped Kain had enough spare change to replace that, too. He went back into the room, spun an elegant little circle, and dropped.
Morlock sat there. There was definitely a change in the room, but he couldn't see anything. He wasn't sure he could smell anything anymore, but he was on his guard. That's what he did. And he done it well.
Raziel whined, rolled over, and pretended to die. Even after hundreds of years in the turbo spin cycle, he still had problems with vertigo. After a while he sat up, and went to find a portal.
Morlock sat there. Determinedly guarding.
Raziel twirled, and the world righted itself. There was a large eared, vaguely humanoid rabbit creature sitting at the opposite end of the room. Guarding.
Narrowing his eyes Morlock looked at the intruder that suddenly materialised at the other end of the room. "I'm guarding here. Leave."
Raziel narrowed his eyes back. "No."
"This is where I guard. It's what I do, guarding. Leave or I will guard this place more actively."
Raziel blinked. "There's no way out. Guard actively if you must."
Morlock stood. "Now you've gone and done it. I have to guard and get out of my seat. How am I supposed to guard properly if I have to actively guard against you. I can't passively stay guarding against anything else because all my guarding has to go on you. That's very selfish of you." Many a Dumahim had fled Morlock in confusion.
Raziel twitched. "If you can't actively guard against one thing but passively guard against many at the same time, then you aren't a very good guard. You have to be able to balance passive and active guarding at the same time if you wish to become a great guard."
"I am a great guard. I have been guarding all my life. That's what I do. Guard." Morlock determinedly stood there. Guarding.
Raziel would have liked to have rolled his eyes, but his weren't suited to do so. "You're guarding very well. Do you know what you're guarding?"
"What I guard is only important inasmuch as that I'm guarding it. I guard what I guard." Morlock, having just had the longest conversation with anyone in over a millennium stopped and thought about the question he'd just been asked. "Err...no."
"Well then, how do you know it's worth guarding?" Raziel quirked a brow.
"Because if I'm guarding it then it must be. It's what I do." When on uncertain ground it is always useful to revert to what you know, this is just what Morlock did.
"There might be more important things out there to be guarded. There aren't many guards left anymore. A good guard shouldn't waste his guarding on things that might not need to be guarded."
"I need to guard here. I am guarding this place." This strange blue creature that smelt funny was confusing his highly focused brain, so he reacted in the only way he knew how. He sent a blast of telekinetic energy at it. That usually done the trick so he could go back to his guarding in peace.
Raziel fell over backwards. That had been unexpected. He jumped back up onto his feet, and backed off, watching the guard carefully for a moment to attack.
Morlock was dismayed the creature had got back up. They didn't usually do that. He sent another blast at the creature.
Raziel ducked and dived forwards while Morlock was temporarily defenceless. He swiped out.
Morlock felt the unfamiliar sensation of his skin being torn. Shocked that he'd been hurt, even if only temporarily caused him to swipe back.
Raziel was caught again. Ignoring it as best he could, he ducked and aimed another attack at Morlock. He darted back out of physical range.
Morlock was glad the strange blue thing had moved away. He aimed another blast at it, irritated that he was being kept away from valuable guarding duty.
Raziel noticed the moat around the edge of the floor. Careful to stay near to the edge, he threw himself again at Morlock, and took a swipe at him.
Morlock was unused to anything ever getting this near to him so was not particularly adept at unarmed combat. He focused on his opponent like he focused on his guarding, to the exclusion of all else including his surroundings. Thus through his own actions he of not looking where he was going he fell into the moat and burnt horribly.
Raziel watched with some satisfaction as the strange vampire was burnt up. The water bubbled interestingly. He idly inspected his wound, still not used to the not healing up without some help. Raziel made use of Morlock's soul for that.
The Elder God on cue spoke. "The obsessive Guard's soul is useful. You have now nicked his ability to use basic telekinetic skills. So, interestingly has the Tube Reaver. That should make for some fun if you get bored. You can explode things. I'm almost jealous."
Raziel was almost impressed. "Finally, an ability worth having." Odd it should have been from a random, lesser vampire, but he couldn't argue.
"You can run off and get Rahab now if you like. Go north from here and you'll find him. The place is a bit soggy so expect to find yourself thrown back into the spectral realm very three minutes. And while I remember, I have an A-Z back at the office if you want it and please don't ask that woman for directions, you'll never get anywhere."
Raziel whined an acknowledgment, though he did sound much more enthusiastic about the prospect of an A-Z, and peered around the room. What the Elder God hadn't told him was how to get out.
The Elder God watched as Raziel stood in the middle of the room looking confused. After a while the Elder God gave in. "Go spectral again." He said in a tired voice. Raziel could wear down anyone's happiness.
Raziel obeyed, though he wondered exactly what he might gain from going spectral except a headache. The Elder God was apparently silent. With nothing else better to do, Raziel aimed his hand at the wall, and attempted to fire a telekinetic projectile. After a number of efforts, he finally managed it. It hit a decorative stone in the wall. The decorative stone was no more. Raziel went to inspect it.
He presumed the stone was one of Rahab's designs, it had something of his style about it. He followed the nearest path and came to a large, over decorated hall, which in turn led to an isolated lake, with a sunken ship, though on closer inspection, it looked to have been a new ship that had been artificially distressed to look antique. Raziel once again wished he had the ability to roll his eyes, and continued on.
Swimming about in the water, circling the sunken ship like barracuda were two beings that appeared to be one part spitting cobra, one part fish, two parts frog and a small hint of badger. Barely breaking the surface of the water they watching the intruder with beady red eyes. Diving, they swam off silently leaving the water's surface smooth showing no sign they had been there.
Raziel watched them go. Rahab's children, no doubt, they looked like something Rahab would stand on a mantelpiece. Raziel continued on his way until he came to an large open area, surrounded by high structures and filled with water. Raziel whined. His brother hadn't made this easy for him, had he? Raziel couldn't decide if the block puzzles were worse than the migraines from going spectral every few moments, or the other way around.
The Rahabim had decided to go and report this newcomer to their master, but on getting halfway there, they argued that if they spoke to Rahab this time of day it would be bad for his karma and the direction of the wind would possibly throw out his Feng shui if the door was opened. Coming to the conclusion that it wasn't worth incurring their master's mild chastisement and yet another lecture on 'colour therapy and how you too can attain spiritual balance', they circled back to deal with the intruder themselves. It had to be dealt with, it's blue was clashing with the ambience of the Drowned Abbey. There were worse crimes against the Rahabim, but not many.
Raziel bounced over a number of stones. Briefly he wondered exactly why Rahab had installed random stones in his otherwise unflawed masterpiece. Perhaps they were 'in' at the moment, or helped with the flow of good Chi. Either way, they were useful, and secretly fun to bounce over.
The Rahabim decided to wait just inside the building. The slightly smaller one turned to her larger companion. "Do you think it is wise for us to leave the water? The stranger appears to be avoiding it, shall we not use this to our advantage?"
Her companion spoke. "You forget young one, I am well versed in the reading of the waters ripples. That in combination with the clouds on the west side of the sky being in the shape of a one legged turtle is telling me that the intruder can be dispatched if we face him in his natural element."
The younger one looked at him askance, she was of a younger generation that was rejecting the old ways and thought that maybe common sense wasn't as overrated as this lot claimed.
Raziel bounced yet more, until he eventually found somewhere else to go, and entered into an elaborate building of some sort. Grudgingly, he admitted to himself he was almost missing the block puzzles.
"Halt. You will go no further stranger. Your blueness is not of this place and therefore upsets the balance and harmony we have worked hard with our consultants to achieve." The younger Rahabim stood behind with crossed arms rolling her eyes as the elder spoke.
Raziel halted obediently and looked over the two with a critical eye. "I'll have you know my blueness melds into the stone grey and offers a subtle compliment to the colour scheme, it forms part of the harmony and unsettles the otherwise dull balance enough to offer an eccentric focal point. You however, in your Antique Sail White glory, contrast horrifically with your surroundings, your stark brightness like a beacon of garish distaste." Raziel said without so much as pausing for an unrequired breath. It had been some time since he had had to communicate in Rahab's own 'language', as it had come to be known.
The elder Rahabim was struck dumb by this stranger's knowledge of his native tongue. The turtle in the clouds should have had two legs for him to know that. The younger however, couldn't believe she'd have to put up with more of these ridiculous notions from the stranger too. She stepped forward. "Look, Dude. Your upsetting the old man, if you go upsetting his sense of propriety and colour co-ordination he's gonna get confused and it's gonna whack my day out of sync, you know what I mean? So make like a nice blue creature and get lost."
Raziel narrowed his eyes at her. Languages were one of Raziel's few talents. Languages, tragedy, and, in a lesser way, hairdressing. "You takin' anything for that attitude, kid? 'Cause you oughta be. How about you and gramps there make like good little Rahabim and get outta my way, 'cause whatever you think your day's been like, it ain't gonna have nothin' on what my week's already had." He paused, and frowned to himself. The accent was almost right, but he'd got the grammar wrong again. He watched her expression to see if she noticed, but he struggled to read her snake-like-badger face. He went for the spear on the wall behind him instead.
"Yeah? Come on then." The young Rahabim goaded, proving that no matter what the younger generation of Rahabim thought, common sense still truly eluded them. The older generation for all their whimsical notions and interior design sense, did possess more savvy than given credit for as the older Rahabim slipped back into the water temporarily unnoticed by the other two.
Raziel charged at her, with a battle cry, the spear lowered at her middle.
Showing a continued lack of common sense, she spat a projectile at Raziel, instead of trying to avoid the sharp pointy thing that was about to impale her. Doubly bad luck, was that she was not only impaled but a bad aim.
Raziel, being about equal to a small mollusc on the intelligence and observancy scale, didn't expect her to actually run into the spear, and was caught off guard as the weapon stopped moving while he carried on. Flying over the top of the impaled Rahabim, he came land and skidded almost off the edge of the ledge that lead down into the water, but caught ahold of the ground with his claw tips and instead hung, swaying gently in the breeze, over the water. He could have dropped, of course, but he was tired of having a Spectral Realm induced headache all the time. He struggled to pull himself up.
More Rahabim had come to the scene and were circling in the water like severely malformed crocodiles.
Raziel struggled and clawed and gouged large claw shaped marks into Rahab's flooring. With great difficulty, he began to pull himself back up again.
The Rahabim circling could see the destruction being wreaked on the flooring, but circled around unsure what to do. They were interior decorators, colour consultants and therapists, not fighters.
Finally, Raziel hauled himself up. He almost smirked with his triumph, except he couldn't do so. Out of cruelty, he kicked the remains of the broken flooring into the water, and ran away giggling like a schoolgirl.