Where Exactly Do Babies Come From:

"C'mon Malik." I headed up the stairs…

…which is usually messy. Damn it, does he ever clean it? I rummaged through his toy chest finding that he had a lot of plush toys of duel monsters. Tossing a few of the plushies aside such as the Winged Dragon of Ra and Obelisk, I took out the Dark Magician and…

Looking for any girlish plushies-

…um…

Three minutes later…

Ah-hah. I took out a Mystical Elf plushie. Squeezing it, I heard a loud squeak.

…A plushie squeezie? -Continuously squeezes the Mystical Elf-

"Shadi! What's taking so long?" I heard Yugi screaming. Ah screw you! I took out both plushies and sat on Malik's bed with each plushie in hand.

"Now," I put a fake smile. "Let's talk about where babies come from. First off, you need a man and a woman. Now, in order for them to make babies, these two start off by dating." And at that point, I have become overly obsessed with squeezing these dolls.

"Oh come on." Malik crossed his arms over his chest, rolling his eyes back.

I stopped squeezing, putting the dolls on my lap, staring intently at Malik. "Er…yes?"

"What does this have to do where babies come from. And why does the Mystical Elf have to go with the Dark Magician. He sucks!"

"They match!" Yugi whirled his gaze towards Malik. "Give me one good reason why those two don't match."

"Well," Malik snubbed at Yugi. "If you as k me, I think the Earl of Demise goes better with the elf."

"You gotta be kidding!" Yugi glared at Malik. "Who are you gonna think of next? Dark Necrophear?"

"Hell yeah!" Malik raised his fist in the air. "At least he's better than who you would prefer. Pegasus…"

"At least he's human!" Yugi ranted.

"Or Bandit Keith!" Malik shot back.

O.O?

"At least he's a real man!" Yugi stood up.

"You want a piece of me?" Malik took out his millennium rod. "You're on!"

"I'll send you straight to hell, that's for sure!" Yugi's millennium puzzle began to glow.

"Not if I send you there first!" The millennium rod began to glow as well.

Well, at least someone is gonna die tonight. -smirks- It's about time too. But then again, I'll be the victim of a thousand deaths.

"ANYWAY!" I said at the top of my lungs. The two looked at me with curious eyes. Well, that certainly shut them up. "Right after a few dates, when they feel like it, they get it on."

"Get it on?" Malik and Yugi gave me the strangest looks.

O.O! Please do not tell me that these two don't know what the hell "getting it on" means! Yami no Marik, you must be enjoying what's going on huh? How much torture am I supposed to take?

"That means they have sex, all right? SEX! S-e-x!" I want this to end if it's the last thing I'm gonna do.

"Oh…" Yugi and Malik were amazed, perhaps at my definition of what "getting it on" finally meant.

"Um…" Malik looked up at me innocently.

"Yes Malik?" I twitched slightly, trying to not crack my sanity.

"What is sex?'

Jesus, Mary and Ra! Didn't tomb keepers learn what sex is back in frickin Egypt? Oh yeah…that's right. After the initiation, Malik went nuts, Yami no Marik came out, bonked his father with the millennium rod and send that bastard straight to hell.

Maybe the midget Yugi knows. "Ask Yugi."

"Shadi, I want to know as much as Malik does."

Ra, I wish I was dead right now. I swear, if only Yami surrendered to Yami no Marik, I don't have to go through this.

"Ever seen a polymerization card?" I gave the Mystical Elf another squeeze.

"Yes." They replied in unison.

"So that's…" Yugi started to say.

"Yes."

"And they begin by…" Malik started to ask.

"Yes, yes!" I cried, hopefully this shut them up once and for all.

"But what does this have to do with where babies come from?" Yugi crossed his arms over his chest.

Brat! Ask that whore you call Yami yourself. Ugh, forget it Shadi. Yugi's pharaoh for Ra knows how long. "Well, after the sex part, the Mystical Elf becomes pregnant. And incase you still want to know, her stomach becomes big and she has to wait for nine months." Leave Ishizu to explain how that goes when she's not "busy".

"But how can you fit a baby inside a woman's stomach?' Malik started to rant. "Would it really fit? How can the baby come out of the stomach?"

Er…someone help me.

(-)

To Be Continued.