Curse Me
Disclaimer: I don't own Fruits Basket or "Goodbye To You" by Michelle Branch
A/n: :) I am so impressed by the response to this story. I'm so glad you all enjoy it so much… I believe that I can write now, knowing that my friend is back and safe. But, excuse me if this chapter comes out rather lame; I'm lacking ideas.
Review Responses:
Defafaeth MechquaI know, I know. But I promise things will get better n.n
BlackTwilightEek!! –runs from the crazed fan girls– I'm sorry, I'm sorry!! It'll get better! I swear! –hiding under desk– Can I continue? T-T I promise I won't kill no one… Continue not hating me, if possible…
Anonymous: MagicalGirl: n.n I'm glad that you like this so much…
Danzing in Doubtz n.n Heehee. I'm glad.
Anonymous: Lizz: Um. Will Tohru get sick...?? Hrm. I'm not sure I have an answer for that yet… I don't plan on killing her, if that's what you mean. Considering you're not the first who's asked this question, I should know this by now. Okay. I need to make a decision… Kks. I got it. The answer is: no. I'm afraid to make her sick. –points up– BlackTwilight may kill me if I do… v.v''
Anonymous: NCAnime99: Thanks!
Anonymous: Kash: Is it really all that original? Heh. I would have thought that others would have come up with this by now… Heehee. Thanks!
JewelJade Thank you; I thought so, too…
ArianlaNo. It's not all that hard. :) I was messing. Thank you, and – yes – Momiji is, in fact, the rabbit of the Zodiac.
Twilight KitsuneWow. –big grin– Thanks a lot.
Anonymous: Leona: I understand you're concern there, but it's rather simple. Akito's got plans…
Aisha C --'' I'm sorry… really. I didn't do it –points accusingly at the camels (Toshiro and Egi)– They made me write it!
Anonymous: a bit upset: n.n'' I had my reasons, I swear! I'm sorry I took so long… It was truly unintentional.
San San As HerselfAh! Nice to hear from you again! :) I'm sorry I made you cry, really. I was near tears myself…
Chapter Four
Of all the things I believed in
I just want to get it over with
tears form behind my eyes
but I do not cry
Counting the days that past me by
Things had changed again. They acted different now. She couldn't go home everyday. She took the wrong way so many times after work, going back to the Sohma house. She felt so foolish. Things would never be the same, not as long as she didn't live with them.
Tohru was so flustered. Their attitudes… they'd changed completely. Yuki, instead of his shy nature, was forward with her now, taking her hand whenever he felt right. She couldn't comprehend why, either. And Kyou, Kyou was nice; he was quieter than usual, forcing himself to stay out of fights with Yuki. They acted so different to her.
Was it because of her leadership…? Or did they miss her that much?
She felt the soft hand of the dark-haired boy beside her slide in her own and give a little squeeze, seeing her melancholy stare that was trained on her feet as they walked. She looked up, instantly forcing a smile. He didn't seem convinced, though.
Tohru looked at Kyou – on the opposite side of Yuki – and found that he was staring at her in question as well. Her smile fell slightly. "What?" She asked rhetorically. "I'm fine."
Kyou grunted skeptically, but averted his gaze to the sky all the same. His hands were stuffed deep in his pockets, clenched tightly. What the hell was Yuki thinking – holding her like that? Kyou suspected it was to get on the good side with their new Head. Damn suck-up…
Tohru looked back to Yuki, confused, when he gave her hand another soft squeeze. Her brows were furrowed and her smile had fallen, frowning now. "I am, really."
Yuki frowned back at her but didn't say a word; he only held her hand tighter.
Tohru watched him as he turned his gaze to the path ahead of him. They, both Yuki and Kyou, had favored in walking her back to Sohma house everyday after school – which she had convinced Hatori to let her continue – since they had heard of her misdirection many times. She enjoyed it, appreciated it, but she couldn't help but wish they were going back to Shigure's house, not the Sohma Estate…
Yuki stopped abruptly, halting Tohru with him and startling her out of her musing. Tohru looked to her right and found that they had reached her new home. She looked back and forth at the two and found that their gazes were trained at her feet, eyes shadowed. It made her gloomy, just watching how grudgingly and reluctantly Yuki released her hand.
She was taken aback, though, as they each took a step towards her, in almost practiced unison. She nearly took a step back in surprise but they stopped her when each of them pressed a soft kiss on either side of her jaw.
They pulled away quickly, though, and Kyou – face as scarlet as his hair – ambled off, hands stuffed even further in his pockets than before. Yuki – a little more composed than Kyou – bowed to his leader, watching her blush through his dark hair. "Honda-san." He bid softly, carefully moving around her and walking after the cat, his orange-haired cousin.
Tohru turned silently to watch the boys go, waving placidly. She closed her eyes to etch every detail of the moment into her memory. She didn't want to forget…
I've been searching deep down in my soul
Words that I'm hearing are starting to get old
Feels like I'm starting all over again
And the last three years were just pretend
And I said
Tohru held her cheeks, trying to fight off the heat that was rising again. She couldn't believe they'd done that. She just couldn't believe it. It was just so… out of character. But, then again, they had been acting strange…
But she hadn't expected something like that…
It wasn't a bad thing – she had to admit, and she was sure that she could get used to it if she wanted to. But, that wasn't the point. She didn't want the boys to change; she wanted the old Yuki and Kyou back. The Yuki and Kyou that fought whenever they got the chance, the Yuki and Kyou that were so shy with her, the Yuki and Kyou that would beat Shigure into the ground for a mistaken joke…
That wasn't the Yuki and Kyou she saw anymore. She wanted them back, the Yuki and Kyou she met in the first place…
She dropped her hands back to her sides and pushed through the large estate doors. Inside flourished with life, one could see Momiji frolicking through his own little garden – the one he'd started not long before Tohru had come to the Sohma Estate.
In fact, now that she thought about it, she'd been with the Sohmas as their leader for quite a while now – nearly three weeks… She enjoyed it to no end, but…
They didn't come and visit her, school and etcetera taking too much time from their schedule. She had offered for them to come over for a visit about a week ago, but Yuki declined politely, saying that neither he nor Kyou wanted to interrupt her working environment. Shigure hadn't visited, either. Yuki said that he had an extreme manuscript that needed completion and, now, without Tohru to cause a distraction, Mii-chan was watching him like a hawk.
Tohru didn't push, though. She didn't want to force herself back into their lives. She had no right. It would be rude, and she didn't want to seem impatient. She would see them soon enough. Besides, she had an obligation now, one she couldn't ignore.
Hatsuharu was lounging under a tree nearby, a book clutched in his hand. Well, it was most likely a comic book, but a book all the same…
Hiro and Kisa were nowhere to be seen, probably off watching a cartoon or something of that origin. They got along so well—it was so sweet…
Ayame. Well, Ayame was skipping along side with Hatori, whose nose was buried in a book – probably on medical studies. Tohru assumed that they were heading for the dragon's clinic.
Tohru didn't see Ritsu anywhere. Maybe he was off mourning over some simple mistake – the poor guy.
The last thing Tohru noticed was that Kagura was running her way. "Tohru! O, Tohru! Was Kyou out there?" She asked urgently, stopping just short of pummeling into her.
Tohru nodded meekly, pointing over her shoulder at the door that was falling closed.
"O, really?" Kagura gushed. "Yay!" She hugged Tohru happily. "Thank you!" With that grateful remark, she moved around Tohru and dashed out of the Estate. "O Kyo-o-u! Kyou-u-u… Come out, Kyou!" Her voice was fading into the background. "Aww, Kyou-u-u-u, my love, don't run away! I've missed you!"
Tohru sweat-dropped.
"Kyou! You come back here, or I'm going to cry!" Was the last thing the Leader heard of Kagura Sohma.
The others soon noted Tohru's presence at that outburst near the doors. Ayame stopped short of Hatori's long strides and waved hello to Tohru from a distance. He didn't hasten in step, though, as soon as he received her placid response – a waved hello – and jogged after Hatori. Momiji was second to notice her, trotting over. "Tohru-chan!" He exclaimed.
Tohru smiled at him. "Momiji-chan, hello. How's your garden doing?" He nearly reminded her of Yuki and his "secret base". It was amazing, the simple things that could sadden her smile so, but she forced the grin to keep place at her lips.
Goodbye to you
Goodbye to everything I thought I knew
You were the one I loved
The one thing that I tried to hold on to
"It's doing excellent! All the flowers are growing great!" Momiji grinned, tugging her over for a look at his masterpiece enthusiastically. Tohru followed, smile still on her lips.
"This looks great, Momiji-chan!" Tohru exclaimed, clasping her hands to her chest as soon as the usagi released it. "It's so well-kept! I'm proud of you; you're becoming such a nice gardener!" Tohru congratulated, ruffling the boy's hair affectionately. She didn't care how old Momiji really was; he was still so adorable.
Tohru resisted the urge to latch onto the little boy and hold him forever. He was so loveable! She couldn't deny those large brown orbs and that wide grin.
She gave up, dropped to her knees, and hugged Momiji around the shoulders, bracing herself for his transformation…
But… The transformation never came…
Tohru blinked, squinting through precariously lidded eyes. Why didn't Momiji transform into his rabbit form? Everyone else did…
Or they used to…
"Okay!" He finally blurted out, "Why can I hug you now??"
There was… no way!
Yuki shook his head, clearing his thoughts, at his name. "What? Oh, yes. It was interesting. That cat had picked you up without any reaction of the Zodiac. Very curious, indeed." He looked down at Tohru, cracking his apathetic shell to smile at her. "We couldn't, for the life of us, figure out what caused it, either."
Right?
"Tohru-sama! I'm sorry, Tohru-sama! I should have warned you; you can't do that, My Leader! …Someone may…s-see…"
Tohru turned at Ritsu's voice; the feminine, kimono clad man was slowing from his trot to an all-out halt several feet away from Momiji and herself. The hem of him kimono – which he had evidently grabbed in his haste to get to his leader before it was too late – was slipping from his clutches, where it was once held fisted in each hand, with astonishment. "Good afternoon to you, Ritsu-san," Tohru greeted politely, righting herself and bowing to her elder.
"Did you just…?" Ritsu raised a shaky finger, pointing unsteadily at the speechless, motionless Momiji. The man blinked out of his stupor a second after, on his knees and bowing lowly to his Leader. "O, My Leader, excuse my rudeness. I hope you've had a lovely day so far. I'm so sorry for my disturbance! I wasn't thinking, Tohru-sama! I'm sorry; forgive me!"
Tohru waved it off, trying to calmly walk away from the fervent monkey.
Momiji suddenly leapt to his feet, running after Tohru. "Do you know what this means, Tohru-chan?!"
Tohru halted at the question in mild surprise and looked back at the rabbit, a placid smile on her face. "No, Momiji-chan; I don't have a clue what this means…"
Momiji grinned, throwing his arms out in enthusiasm. "This means that we can hug each other all we want!" He laughed.
Tohru's smile widened at his humor. Such a child at heart, he was…
I still get lost in your eyes
And it seems that I can't live a day without you
Closing my eyes and you'll chase the thoughts away
To a place where I am blinded by the light
But it's not right
Akito watched the two from his window, leaning on it languidly. He smirked, watching her through narrows slits of cobalt orbs.
She thought she won…
Didn't she understand that he was the one controlling the cu—?
Akito tore away from the window, returning to his lounging on the raised floor, when he heard a soft rap on the shoji. "Must you interrupt me?" He drawled, pretending to look interested when Hatori entered the room silently. The recent leader knew exactly why the doctor was here, though.
Hatori knew that Akito was still sick…
He pushed himself to a sitting position, closing his eyes, and waited for the dragon – expression bland – as he went straight to work, immediately taking the former Head's pulse and checking his heartbeat. It was routine – they had gone through this for a long time and Akito knew that, no matter how much Hatori attempted to sugarcoat his health, his condition was deteriorating by the day…
Akito needed to know how long that Tohru girl could take the job, how long until it would drive her insane. He needed to know what she would do when something happened. That girl didn't understand what strain the whole Zodiac Curse put on his shoulders. She didn't know what pain he went through at every transformation. No one knew that pain.
He wanted that girl to feel his pain. She called him coldhearted; now she would know why. That secret of his own, eating away at him every time there was an accident… He wanted that Honda girl to know that, too…
Hatori always said that his illness was unidentifiable, but Akito knew what it was. It was the ailment of the Zodiac. Like the curse, there was the disease. There was the one thing that the others didn't know. A reason for his leadership: to die under the curse itself…
The girl should feel lucky. She didn't know how much energy it took from him to stop that one transformation. Nor did she know that she could not truly take that curse away from the Sohmas unless—
"You should rest, Akito. You look exhausted." He heard the doctor suggest and stand, collecting his bag.
"I am resting." Akito murmured, not bothering to open his lidded eyes.
He heard a nearly inaudible sigh from his relative and cracked open an eye when he picked up footfalls. Hatori was leaving. As soon as he was sure that Hatori was not going to come back, he made his way to the window, looking for that girl and the rabbit. He sighed in disappointment when he didn't spot her. They had left…
Goodbye to you
Goodbye to everything I thought I knew
You were the one I loved
The one thing that I tried to hold on to
Tohru sighed, deciding she could probably be more of a help at home, with Yuki, Kyou, and Shigure…
She couldn't help in the kitchens; she had tried that within her first few days of staying at the Estate, but the cooks had refused her offer, saying that she shouldn't trouble herself with such trifle activities and shooing her out to go relax.
Her only comfort anymore was work at Momiji's father's building. And she didn't work tonight… Tohru had been forced to work less and less, pressured by Hatori for more time at the Estate. In all actuality, the Sohmas didn't really seem to need a Leader. They did fine on their own in her eyes.
So, now, she sat in the bedroom, on her soft bed, that Hatori had appointed her, staring at the wall. But, instead of feeling helpless in this place, she had decided that keeping her mind from wandering back to Yuki and Kyou and Shigure every time she was left alone a task in itself… Especially after that send-off they gave her this afternoon.
She could already feel the heat rising to her cheeks. That was probably one of the most odd, forward things she would ever expect from Yuki or Kyou. She wondered why on earth they would even think of doing something like that because, well, Tohru was too trusting to think that they could be trying to take advantage of their past relationships…
That wouldn't do that. They had more honor, more class. But she wished that they would visit more… so she wouldn't have to feel so lonely at times like this. There were so many Sohmas around the Estate that adored her, and she them, but she just couldn't bring herself to open up to them while she knew that if she did, Yuki and Kyou may be replaced…
She didn't want them replaced. And she certainly didn't want them to leave her, like they have already…
She wanted them to visit more than anything. She wanted to see them again. Most of all, she wanted her privileges back, to be able to cook for the Sohmas again and clean up when things were messy. She didn't want people to do that for her; she felt so ungrateful when they did that.
She needed the see them every night, needed them to tell her how nice of work she'd done that day, see them smile at her one last time every night just before she went off for bed. She wanted to hear them wish her sweet dreams. No one did that here at the Sohma Estate; they felt that it was an invasion of space to near anyone else's room than their own. She never got company when she was studying or doing homework like she did at home. She wished she did some nights; she even imagined Yuki rapping on her door to come and check on her and her homework some nights.
It was certainly lonely around here. She didn't like tat feeling. Tohru needed someone to come visit her…
Her eyes dropped to the notebook in her lap. She was taken aback by what was supposed to be homework. She'd had an essay to write that night – on what one wish Tohru would make if she had the chance.
One would expect it was to see her parents again – being an orphan like so. She didn't, though.
"If I had one wish, I would wish to be back home, with the ones who love me. I would wish to be able to do my daily activities with them. I would wish to be with my family again, and be accepted with them again. Not Kyoko Honda, or Kyoji Honda – not my mother or father. I wish to be a part of the Sohmas again, with Yuki, Kyou, and Shigure…"
Tohru hadn't written anymore and she nearly thanked the heavens for it. She was afraid to know what else she would have written if just those few sentences brought tears to her cyan-colored orbs. Slowly she tore the page from her notebook, and carefully set it on the bed space in front of her, staring at it as she wiped the wetness from her eyes. She pushed off the bed and went to go find a pin. Successful, she moved back to her bed and pinned the paper to the wall just behind the head of her bed.
She wanted to remember that, too.
Oh-h-h
And it hurts to want everything
And nothing at the same time
I want what's yours
And I want what's mine
I want you
But I'm not giving in this time
Tohru went back to her essay after a long stare at the "wish" again. She made sure to write that she wanted to be with Kyoko and Kyoji Honda, like everyone thought she would want to. She didn't want to put Yuki and Kyou and Shigure on the spot like that. No one but herself, Ojii-san, Saki Hanajima, and Arisa Uotani were to know of that secret that she was living with the Sohmas.
Speaking of which, did Uo and Hana even know that she had moved out of Shigure's place? She shook her head, not bothering to ponder over it much longer.
Goodbye to you
Goodbye to everything I thought I knew
You were the one I loved
The one thing that I tried to hold on to
"There's been something going on between those Sohmas and Tohru-chan, I know it." Arisa confided to Hana-chan as they made there way along the winding path that led to Shigure's house. "And I'm gonna find out what the hell it is. She's too distant for normal…"
Saki followed quietly, listening to Uo-chan's rant. She, herself, had noticed change in Tohru and could tell that she was trying to hide it. Hana could nearly feel in her friend that she was trying to convince herself that whatever had changed was no big deal and there was nothing to worry about. Tohru-chan gave her the feeling, subconsciously, that she didn't want to believe that anything could change.
And that was what worried the denpa.
Uo stalked up to Shigure's door the minute she spotted the property, and stormed inside like she owned the place. She headed straight for where she always found the four, around the low table near the kitchen. She snapped the door back and peered inside through narrowed slits of navy orbs. "Where's Tohru-chan?" She ordered as the three men looked back at her in surprise. She almost expected Tohru to amble out of the kitchen any second now, seeing that their spaces were empty of food. She knew it was nearly suppertime.
Kyou was on his feet in a second in anger. "This is trespassing, you know! Get the hell out!" He roared, crimson eyes flaring dangerously. No one had mentioned Tohru in this house since she left and he wasn't about to let it start. He didn't want to remember how she'd left.
"What happened to her?" Hana asked softly, ducking around her enraged friend and standing, face mild, between Kyou and Arisa. "She's not here, is she?"
She got her answer in their silence, watching their gazes' fall and Kyou's anger immediately melt away. Of course, it had to make Uo even more furious. "What'd you do to her?! You kicked her out?" She raged, trying to push past Saki, who merely placed an pallid hand on Arisa's shoulder to calm the girl.
"She… She's moved into the Sohma Estate, Hanajima-san, Uotani-san." Yuki answered softly, eyes trained to the floor. "She hasn't been here for nearly three weeks now."
"So you did kick her out!!" Arisa assumed instantly. "What did she do – burn dinner for you??" She growled, brushing off Hana's hand to get past her. Saki refused to let her by again, until she calmed down.
"That's not it, Uo-chan. I can feel it." Saki answered with lidded eyes. The remorse in this room told her instantly that they had no intention of making her leave. "She… had some sort of responsibility there… Correct?" Her purple eyes snapped open to stare at the three again. There was a nervous Shigure – who was chuckling uneasily, a fairly surprised Yuki, and a quietly seething Kyou.
Yuki nodded somewhat. "Yes. Exactly. We had no say in the matter; I'm sorry."
Saki heard a repressed snort from behind her, as if her friend was disbelieving. "Thank you." Hana said, ignoring her friend's skeptical aura, "That's all we needed to know." She bowed, biding goodbye. "We'll let you enjoy the rest of your evening now. Forgive us for the intrusion." She whisked around, the dark cape she had draped over her shoulders flowing with her, and led a stubborn Uo outside.
Goodbye to you
Goodbye to everything I thought I knew
You were the one I loved
The one thing that I tried to hold on to
The one thing that I tried to hold on to
"What the hell was that for? Why'd you just let 'em off like that?! Why couldn't you "zap" them or something – huh?!" Arisa exploded once they had exited the premises. "You're gonna let 'em get away with it?!"
Saki remained neutral to her friend's tirade and waited until she tired herself out to speak. She only answered with a: "They were truthful. I had no reason for punishment…"
Uo clenched her fists at her side, resisting the need to say more and simply growled in anger. "I can't believe you…" She grumbled, stalking off on her own.
The denpa's face saddened, watching Arisa go. She couldn't give punishment where punishment was not due. No matter how much Uo said it called for…
And when the stars fall and I will lie awake
Your my shooting star
I'm proud of this chapter. It's probably the longest chapter I've written in, like, nine months. I'm satisfied. How about you? Tell me.
Review for me,
Senko