AN: And we are nearing the end, two more chapters left folks!

ABOUT A BABY...part 18

Elizabeth could not stop pacing. She paced from one bed, around the crib, then over to the other bed.

Carson had set up a private area in the infirmary. His own version of an Intensive Care unit. He had Lily's crib placed between John and Rodney's beds. The area was filled with beeping and whooshing sounds. Even when Elizabeth was alone, in her room, or in her office, she could still hear the sounds of the monitors echoing in her head.

It had been two days since John and Rodney had returned to Atlantis, looking like nothing more than corpses. John in particular was so pale as to be transparent and so thin as to be little more than skin over bone. But there were bruises that shadowed over him as well, as if to outwardly reveal his suffering.

Rodney wasn't much better. Thinner than she had ever seen him before, looking bruised and battered and far too still. But at least he wasn't dead. They had come so close to loosing him. Too close. Carson had administered the counteragent that Ava had given Lorne, but not in time. They'd had no choice and it'd been a rough couple of days. Rodney had stopped breathing twice, but after going on a ventilator, he'd begun to show improvement. Just when they'd all began to relax, he'd suffered a high fever and convulsions. It was a roller coaster of fear and hope, when finally the fever had broken hours ago and Carson seemed hesitantly optimistic.

The same could not be said for Sheppard. In between trying to keep Rodney alive, Carson had been working on a counteragent for the drug Kolya had forced upon them. So far with little success. Sheppard lay in his bed, his body eerily still. Because of the fact that there were now three patients, all unable to care for themselves, the nursing staff was overworked. They hadn't received a replacement for Alicia, who continued to languish in the brig. Elizabeth and Teyla often helped with the daily care of John, Rodney and Lily. For the men it meant sponge baths and turning them, and also working lax limbs to keep the muscles in use as much as possible. It never seemed to look hopeful and Elizabeth found herself close to tears far too often.

She stopped pacing, rubbing at her eyes with one hand, then taking a calming breath before moving to John's side. She took his hand, hating how thin and fragile it looked. "You have to wake up, Colonel," Elizabeth said firmly. You have to, because Lily needs you. You can't go out like this. Not without fighting. If you give up now, you'll take Lily with you and I know you don't want to do that. I know you don't."

There was more she wanted to say but the monitor's attached to Rodney started beeping and when Elizabeth glanced over, she could see he was moving around in the bed. Fearing more convulsions, she called for Beckett.

Carson was there in the blink of an eye. He studied Rodney for a moment, then started talking to him. "Easy, Rodney...you're safe now. Take it easy. You have a tube in to help you breathe. I know it's not pleasant, but it needs to stay for a while and you need to get some rest." As Carson spoke he waved a hand at a nearby nurse and she nodded and ran out of the room. "I've got something coming to help you sleep and the next time you wake up, maybe we can take the tube out. How does that sound?"

Elizabeth held her breath as she watched Rodney's face and when he blinked hard then managed a slight nod, she felt herself exhaling with relief, to the point of almost feeling dizzy from it. Then the nurse was back with a syringe and Carson emptied it into Rodney's IV port. They all watched as McKay drifted back to sleep. "So...this is a good sign?" Elizabeth asked, hope sharp in her tone.

"It's a very good sign," Carson allowed. "We've turned the tide with Rodney." He patted McKay's shoulder then turned to look at Sheppard. "I just...I hope I can find the cure for what ails him as well," he whispered.

"You'll find it," Elizabeth stated, feeling like they could move mountains at this moment. "How is Lily doing?"

Carson brightened a bit. "Actually, when I checked her earlier she was doing better. It's a tiny improvement, but I'll take what I can get. To me it's a sign that Sheppard is hanging in there."

Elizabeth nodded. "It has to be a good sign that you didn't need to put him on a ventilator. All of his vitals are good, right? And you said there was no brain damage that you can tell from the tests you've run."

"Nothing so far," Carson agreed. "But it's not going to last. If I can't find the counteragent soon, he's going to slip away from us and..." He didn't finish the sentence. He didn't have too.

Elizabeth turned wet eyes towards Lily's crib.

OoO

Teyla sat with Lily, but her gaze kept shifting from the baby, to McKay, to Colonel Sheppard. She was pleased that Doctor McKay was doing better. He was off the ventilator and was getting stronger each day, but he was still very weak and it was sad to watch how he kept his own vigil from his bed. A vigil over Sheppard and Lily.

Doctor Beckett had announced, just today, that he had a counteragent but he needed to run a few more tests. Tonight they were going to give it to Sheppard. Teyla prayed for its success. She missed the Colonel. She missed the man who was her team mate and her friend.

Sighing softly, Teyla turned her attention back to Lily. Reaching through the bars of the crib, she began to sing a lullaby she remembered from her childhood. She hoped that the baby could hear her and that she would find peace. And that she would find her way back to them from whatever darkness that claimed her.

OoO

Carson had cleared the area. Only he and two nurses were within the curtains that surrounded Colonel Sheppard's bed. He knew the man would not like being on display and since Carson had no idea what the effects of the serum were going to be on him, he wanted to give what privacy he could. But he knew the others were gathered outside the curtain, and that all of them were hopeful.

"I pray this works, laddie," Carson whispered, as he injected the serum into Sheppard's IV port. It would take a while for it to seep throughout his system, and Carson believed slower was better, so he grabbed a chair and settled in to wait. He had warned the others that it might be a while, but they had no intention of leaving either. So Carson focused on Sheppard's pale face, whispering a prayer.

OoO

John was drifting in darkness. Sometimes it was a warm darkness and other times it was cold. Sometimes he knew he was alone and then there were times he could hear a soft whisper. He knew it was Lily. He knew that even when he couldn't hear her, or feel her, that she was with him. But she was drifting away from him and John was afraid.

After a time he found himself floating into a heavy darkness. It surrounded him like a wet blanket, making it hard to think. Making awareness blurry and undefined. He didn't like when that happened and he kept trying to reach out to Lily, fearful that somehow the link between them would soon break. He knew he would be lost to her if that happened and John wasn't about to let go.

But it was hard sometimes. He heard other voices too, most of them familiar. Sometimes there was the sense of touch, warm against his skin. Sometimes it hurt but he didn't mind, it kept him feeling grounded. But now he felt something different. Something that was drifting over him, then into him. Something that was cold and sharp, burning him like a flame. He willed himself away from it but there was no where to go. It leeched into him, bright and burning and John heard himself screaming and screaming and screaming.

Carson jolted awake at the sound of Lily crying. He hadn't realized he had dozed off and he was about to curse at the nurses who had let him, but Lily cried harder and Carson was on his feet. Elizabeth was already with her and he shouldered her aside. Lowering the side, Carson checked the baby's vitals then he found himself catching his breath as he noted the suddenly rosy flush of her cheeks. Reaching for her, he scooped the baby into his arms, careful of the wires attached to the tiny body.

Elizabeth was watching him, arms crossed hard over her chest, her eyes bright and shadowed. "Carson?"

"She's better...she's better," he whispered. "It's a normal cry it is." He held the baby out to Weir.

"Really?" Elizabeth took Lily, cradling her to her chest, eyes locked on the sweet face. "Are you sure?"

Carson nodded, feeling a tear sliding down his cheek. "I'm sure."

Elizabeth was trembling. "So...does this mean that...that Sheppard is better?"

"I hope so." Turning back around, Carson slid behind the curtains and did a vitals check on the Colonel. He was pleased by what he saw, and when he sensed Elizabeth's presence behind him, he turned to her with a smile. "He's reactive," Carson stated, putting away his penlight after having just done a pupil check.

"So he's going to be all right?" Elizabeth looked ready to jump up and down with happiness.

Carson held a hand out to her. "Don't get too hopeful. There's bound to be setbacks since I don't know what I'm up against. But this is a good sign. A very good sign indeed."

Elizabeth swiped a hand over her face and offered a shaky smile. "I'll take it," she whispered.

"Me too." Carson stepped outside the curtain. "How about we tell the others the good news."

"Let's," Elizabeth replied, and there was a spring to her step that had been sorely lacking.

OoO

Rodney sat in the chair next to John's bed, cradling Lily in his arms. The wires had been removed from himself and Lily, but there were a multitude of wires still attached to John. It bothered Rodney seeing him like that. It bothered him more that a week had passed and while Lily had improved in leaps and bounds, and Rodney's own recovery was progressing nicely, they seemed to keep hitting snags with John.

Carson had delivered the good news about Lily and John, with Elizabeth smiling at his side, and Rodney still remembered cheering in his head. Then he'd fallen asleep only to wake up with alarms clanging. Teyla had been the one to tell him that John was running a fever and that it didn't look hopeful. They had kept as close an eye on Lily as John but Lily had slept the night through, waking up in the morning with a healthy cry and a healthy appetite. Two days later John's fever had gone down and they'd crossed another hurdle.

Until the convulsions started. Again, Lily hadn't reacted to them, which was good news, but puzzling news. Carson firmly believed it meant that John was well on his way to recovery but that his body had to deal with the stress and trauma it had suffered. But since Lily was doing better each day, then John wouldn't be far behind. Rodney was all for believing that too, except John would not wake up.

"Inconsiderate bastard!" Rodney hissed, under his breath, then he winced and apologized to Lily. "Don't remember that," he bade her. "Elizabeth will have my head for swearing around you. But your father is making me crazy. He needs to wake up now." Rodney nuzzled Lily's hair with his nose. "You're doing so well and he just keeps lying there. Why won't he wake up? Is he pissed at me? Does he think it's funny?" Rodney knew John wouldn't mess with him that way, he would never be that cruel, but he was getting frustrated. Frustrated and scared.

"Rodney?"

He flinched when a hand touched his shoulder, turning his head to see Elizabeth standing there. "You scared me," he snapped.

She nodded and squeezed his shoulder. "I'm sorry. I just wanted to check on you, and take Lily off your hands. Carson says you can sit with John for a few more minutes, then you need to take a nap."

"A nap!" Rodney hissed. "What am I? Five years old?"

"You're recovering, Rodney," Elizabeth said softly, as she expertly snared Lily from his arms. "You need to take it easy. Once John wakes up...he's going to need you."

Rodney knew that, he just sucked at the waiting thing. Patience had never been, nor would it ever be, one of his virtues. "Sorry for, you know...snapping at you. I guess I am a little tired."

Elizabeth smiled. "I know. I'll go so you can have your few minutes. I'll come by later to visit." With that she was gone.

Rodney sighed, burying his face in his hands for a moment. Then he looked up, reaching out for John's hand, being careful of the IV taped to the back. He studied John's face. Pale but still beautiful, even with a feeding tube up his nose. Rodney shuddered, remembering his own tube. "You can't bitch at me for calling you skinny now," he said softly. "You're nothing but skin and bones. I'll have to be your food buddy once you wake up. I'll sneak you candy bars. I've got a stash in my room."

For a time, Rodney kept talking about stupid things. Things that they would do when John woke up, all the while telling himself that John would wake up. He had to wake up. Then, all too soon, the nurse popped in to tell him he had to get back in bed. Rodney bit back a sharp retort, managing to swallow it down. It wasn't her fault that John wouldn't wake up or that he was still weak. So Rodney rose from his chair, still holding on to John's hand, and he was just about to pull away when he felt it. A slight, but definite, squeeze to his fingers.

"John?" Rodney allowed himself to hope as he moved closer, eyes locked on the pale face. And he saw it, the flicker of eyelashes then a sliver of hazel-green eyes. "CARSON!" Rodney bellowed. "GET IN HERE NOW! SHEPPARD'S AWAKE!"

Rodney didn't have long to wait and Beckett was there, moving to the other side of the bed, penlight out and a smile on his face. He did a few tests then he looked at Rodney.

"So?" Rodney prompted.

"So...sleeping beauty is finally waking up." Carson was looking at Sheppard now. "Come on, Colonel. Open your eyes just a wee bit more then I'll let you go back to sleep."

Rodney held his breath as he waited for John to obey Beckett's command. Then it happened, the eyes opened wider and locked on to Rodney's face. It was enough to put a smile on his lips, because Rodney knew that John recognized him. "Well done, Colonel," Rodney praised him.

The smile on Carson's face was huge. "You can rest now, Colonel. Everything is going to be okay. Just rest and build your strength up." That said, he patted Sheppard's arm then looked at Rodney. "Now you need to get back in bed and rest as well. You can sit with him again later."

"Okay." Rodney caught Beckett's surprise at his easy capitulation. But Rodney was tired and elated and at the same time he wanted to sleep then wake up and have everything as back to normal as it could get. Which meant John awake and aware and getting better. Rodney crawled into bed, let Beckett draw the covers over him, then he closed his eyes and drifted off into sweet dreams.

OoO

Lorne stood on the balcony, a glass of wine in one hand. He took a swallow, savoring the taste, then he stared out at the night sky. Tonight was a celebration. Two weeks ago, Colonel Sheppard had finally woken up. He was doing well, visiting briefly with people, and eating on his own. He'd be discharged from the infirmary tomorrow and everyone was happy. Dr. Weir had decided on having a little celebration and everyone was feeling as if they could finally relax.

But Lorne couldn't forget the meeting this morning. Doctor Beckett had filled in the key personnel as to Sheppard's condition. He was doing well, but there were some problem areas. Such as the fact that the drug Kolya had forced on Sheppard left him with gray areas. He couldn't always remember things. He would say something to you then forget his train of thought. And it wasn't just his mind that was betraying the Colonel, his body was letting him down as well. He was suffering from muscles spasms and a general weakness.

Beckett insisted that Sheppard would get better in time. Time being the key factor. It was going to take months, not weeks, for him to recover. Everyone knew Sheppard wouldn't handle it well. He didn't like weakness in himself and Lorne couldn't blame him. He had watched the man, sitting in a wheel chair in the mess hall, accepting the toasts to himself, holding Lily in his arms until it was obvious she became to heavy for him, and that had been painful to watch. To see Sheppard's realization that he could no longer hold his own daughter but for short periods of time. He'd given her up to Teyla, before smiling at everyone again, but the smile had seemed strained to Lorne.

Still, Lorne had stayed at the party, hovering as close as he dared to Sheppard, feeling the need to keep watch over him. He noticed he wasn't alone in that. Ronon was like Sheppard's shadow and Rodney was in a chair, practically glued to Sheppard's side. Doctor Weir had hovered, making sure Sheppard had enough to eat and drink and Carson kept checking on him in what seemed to be ten minute intervals, until Sheppard had laughed and threatened to sick Ronon on him.

It had been good hearing Sheppard laugh again, but the sound had seemed a bit strained. Or maybe it was his own tension that Lorne was feeling. Maybe it was his own fears that kept him from being as happy about things as he should have been. Sheppard had been through hell and back so many times, and everyone had suffered in their own ways because of it. Lorne wondered if he had it in himself to believe that everything would be okay this time. If anyone deserved a break, it was Sheppard.

"Major?"

He turned, surprised to see Elizabeth standing there. "Ma'am? Did you need me?"

She shook her head. "I saw you come out here a while ago and when you didn't come back in I got worried. Until Colonel Sheppard is back on his feet, you're my right hand man."

"I'm fine," Lorne stated. "Just...not really in a party mood. I figured when Doctor McKay and Doctor Beckett took the Colonel back to the infirmary, the party would be breaking up anyway."

"It pretty much is," she allowed. "You okay?"

Lorne nodded. "Yeah...just thinking."

Elizabeth looked curious. "About anything in particular?"

"Nah...just about life in general and how unfair it is sometimes."

"You're thinking about what's happened to Sheppard?" Elizabeth guessed.

Lorne nodded, not all that surprised she had figured it out. "I'm glad I don't have to walk a mile in his shoes. He's got a hell of a long, uphill road, ahead to travel."

Elizabeth sighed. "True enough. But I can't think of any man stronger to make that journey. Besides which...he won't be making it alone. We'll be there with him."

"That we will, Ma'am," Lorne drawled, feeling his spirits brighten a bit. That we will."

OoO

John was happy to settle into bed again. He was tired, as much from the party as from pretending that everything was okay. But he couldn't stop pretending just yet, so he kissed Lily goodnight when Teyla held her out to him, then he watched them go before settling his gaze on Rodney. "You need to get some sleep too," John said, pointedly. Because the sooner Rodney was gone, the sooner he could stop smiling like everything was okay.

"I'll sleep later," Rodney said, settling himself in the chair next to John's bed. "Close your eyes though. You're worn out."

It took biting his lip for John not to make a sharp retort. Sometimes it felt as if breathing wore him out. He turned on his side, back facing Rodney, not caring that it was rude. He was tired of keeping his 'game face' on, but he didn't want to reveal the truth to Rodney. The man had enough to deal with without John adding to it.

The chair legs scuffed the floor, then Rodney was moving to the other side of the bed. "How rude," he stated, settling back in the chair again.

John kept his eyes closed and said nothing. After a moment he felt fingers combing through his hair, which reminded him that he needed a hair cut.

"It's going to be okay," Rodney whispered. "You made it through being pregnant, you can get through this. I'll help."

"I'm tired," John said softly, because he didn't want to talk about it. Or think about it.

Rodney sighed, but his fingers kept stroking through John's hair, keeping the connection between them.

After a time John felt himself drifting off to sleep.

THE END...of part 18