Nothing about the two of them had ever been easy.
Kara had offered him an easy lay. And he had gotten one.
It just wasn't from Kara.
Lee looked over to the other side of the bed and gazed at Dualla's face as she slept against him, her arm draped across his chest.
She had drifted off a few minutes ago, but he would have to wake her up soon. They couldn't be caught doing this, the ramifications would be almost as bad as if he had been caught when he was with…………
Nope, don't think about that.
He had done a good job so far, not thinking about Kara. He hadn't thought about Kara in, what was it, thirty seconds now?
"Yeah, Lee." He muttered to himself under his breath. "Real frakking healthy."
Dualla was easy. And he didn't mean that in the derogatory, teenagerish, locker-room way that most people did.
No. He meant that it was easy; comfortable, soothing and without baggage.
He hadn't known Dee before the end of the world. He didn't have countless memories that were permanently etched with the sound of her laughter, the glint in her eyes, the feel of her hand on his skin.
Her mocking laughter, the angry glint in her eyes, the feel of her hand as it connected with his jaw.
He could make new memories with Dee. His new life with her would be just that: a new life.
With Dee, he felt like his heart was tucked away somewhere safe. He felt like he was his own man, able to go and do what he needed to do, secure in the knowledge that she would be there waiting for him when he got back.
With Dee, he didn't feel like his heart was being ripped into a million bloody pieces. He didn't feel like he was one half of a single, desperate, trembling entity that couldn't exist without the other half.
With Dee, he didn't feel………………Frak it, he just didn't feel.
Feeling shame and regret at that thought, he reached over to touch her face. But he pulled back, afraid that he would disturb her. Instead, he gently squeezed her arm..
Dee was a good woman, and what he felt for her was easy.
Kara was a hard woman, and what he felt for her was complicated.
And the frakked up thing was that it was his feelings for Dee that had him confused.
Because, was it supposed to be easy when you were falling in love? If it was, then why did they call it falling? Why didn't they call it walking-in-a-calm-and-orderly-fashion in love?
Lee breathed deep to quell his racing thoughts. He needed calm and simplicity; because in his life, he had never had it. He needed to move away from this whole twisted, linked, symbiotic thing that he had with Kara where they both just drained each other dry and couldn't feel anything other that blinding intensity and heartrending demand for validation twenty-four hours a day.
It wasn't like that with Dee. They didn't saturate and overwhelm each other, and she didn't ask for anything more than he was willing to give. With Dee, he didn't feel like he needed to constantly up the ante. With Dee, he could be peaceful and content.
There wasn't something constantly stirring inside him. Like there was with Kara.
Stop comparing them.
Dee wasn't a replacement for anyone. He had learned that lesson with Shevon.
Dee and Kara weren't interchangeable. In fact, they were so opposite in every way that it would be damn near impossible to confuse them.
Dee's sweet and smooth whispers could never be compared to Kara's passionate shouts. Dee's gentle caress was contrary to Kara's fervent touch. Dee's coffee complexion could never be mistaken for Kara's pale skin. He could never think of one while he was with the other.
He had done that on purpose, so that he would never betray either one.
He gently traced Dee's shoulder, because she had to wake up now. But he was glad that she could have these moments; the moments where she didn't have to think about how her almost-fiancé had died right before her eyes.
As she woke up and smiled sleepily at him, he sent up a silent thanks to the gods that with this woman, the almost-fiancé in question wasn't his brother.
Kara had never done things the easy way.
But as she stood in the empty conference room looking at the relief map of Caprica's Delphi province for the thousandth time, she realized that it would be relatively that.
Get in, get out. Easy.
Get in without being detected when it seemed like every Cylon in existence knew who she was; find a group of people whose main goal in life was not to be found, get them all together, and get out without being hunted down. And somewhere in the middle of all that, fall in love again with a man who may hate her for leaving him there for so long.
Oh, there was also the fact that she would have to do this covertly, without Galactica's help or knowledge. And that they would put her in prison for the rest of her life for committing mutiny and disobeying direct orders when she— if she got back to the fleet.
Easy.
She'd always been more comfortable with things that people considered to be complicated. And she'd always run away from things that people considered to be simple.
Like love, acceptance, and honesty. Especially the frakking honesty.
Stealing yet another vessel, running off to Cylon-occupied space, finding Anders, bringing him back, facing the wrath and disappointment of the Old Man and the President…………..that would be easy.
A hell of a lot easier than walking down the corridor and having an honest and intimate conversation with a certain infuriating, fulfilling, yet increasingly distant blue-eyed CAG.
"What the hell do you think you're doing?" His voice asked as he stood in the hatchway behind her.
"You know what they say: Don't ask." She laughed, not looking at him. "Listen to them, Lee."
"I know what you're planning and you won't get away with it." He told her in an even, but totally angry tone. "I won't let you."
"You won't stop me." She replied simply. "You won't even try."
"And why's that?"
She finally turned around to face him. " Because you want me to find Anders. If I bring him back, you can be with Dee; eternally and blissfully." She rubbed her temple. "And without my image burning in your brain every time you close your eyes."
The look of disgusted mirth on his face was priceless. "You really do think highly of yourself, don't you?"
"This isn't about arrogance, Lee. It's actually about self-loathing. And my recognition of an ugly truth: you and I will always tumble and crash into each other in a tragically futile attempt to be together…………..unless we're both shackled to other people." She smirked in dismay as he looked away sadly. "And it's time to stop the viscous cycle."
He closed his eyes and let out an angry chuckle. "So you're doing this to help me?"
She had to bite her lip to keep from yelling. "You'll benefit from it, but no, I'm doing this to help me."
"Well, that's a load off my mind." He seethed calmly as he walked to stand right in front of her, effectively pinning her to the edge of the table. "Lately your attempts to help me have just frakked up my life even more."
Her heart dropped in her chest. "That was an accident, Lee." She said as she looked anguished to the small bump in his uniform jacket caused by the bandage on his chest. "I hope that, whatever else you may think of me, you believe that I never meant to hurt you."
"I do, I believe that, Kara. And I know that you believe it too." His glare burned a hole into her. "But I wonder if, subconsciously, you were……………"
"What?" She whispered.
"Trying to make it easier for you to deal with me………" He leered menacingly. "…..by making me one of the dead guys."
She didn't slap him this time. No, this time, she punched him. Hard. And two seconds later, when he recovered and looked back to her, he knew that she wouldn't be kissing him this time either.
"Right." He admonished himself quietly. He touched his jaw and rolled his neck to alleviate the tension that he always felt when she was around. He then went right back to staring at her. "So, is this Anders guy everything you need?"
"He could be." She shrugged, never taking her eyes off his. "We never really had time to find that out for sure."
"I see."
She winked condescendingly. "Is Dee everything you need?"
"She could be." He smiled hatefully. "And we have a lot of time to find that out for sure."
"Well, you've needed other girls before. Though I've gotta say, it's a good thing I was never one of them." She smirked knowingly back at him. "I don't think I have enough slutty clothes and purple eyeshadow to be the kind of girl you need."
His eyes had a fuming intensity in them as she spoke, and she heard the breath hissing out of his teeth. Easing herself out from between him and the table, she started to walk to the door. "Gods, Lee, at least when I tried to use a replacement, I didn't have to pay."
"Nah, your attempt at a substitute frak didn't cost you anything." He uttered angrily, staring at the back of her head as she moved away from him. "Did it?"
She turned back around as she reached the door and gave him a look that broke his frakking heart. And he remembered why, above all others, she would always be the one that could do that to him.
Because, above all others, he would always be the one that could do that to her.
She sucked in a hollow, shuddering breath and dropped her head down to her chest. "I am so tired."
The anguished exhaustion that she was drowning in was too much for him to take, and he had to look away. "Yeah." He breathed almost inaudibly. "Well, get some rest, Starbuck." He nodded at her sadly. "With everything you've got going on, we can't have you so worn down that you get yourself hurt."
She turned away from him again and walked out of the room.
"I'm gonna kill her." Lee hissed as he paced back and forth in the tiny room. " That's not just an expression. I'm actually serious this time. No more Apollo to clean up Starbuck's messes; because I'm gonna kill her with my bare hands. That'll clean up the mess once and for all. At least that way, she won't be able to do this kinda thing to our family anymore."
Dee closed her eyes at the sting of his unintentional revelation. There it was: 'our family'. Try as she might not to think about it, she knew that Kara Thrace would forever be linked to Lee and the Admiral. Not because she had once been engaged to a member of their family, but because she was a member of their family. She belonged to it. She may not have had the same blood, but she ran through their veins nonetheless.
"Why do you let her do this to you, Lee?" Dee asked as she looked up at him from where she sat on the bunk. "You can't let her get under your skin like this."
He stopped pacing and looked to the ceiling. "Dee, you just……..you don't get it."
'But I do get it. I get it more than you do.' Dee thought sadly. 'She's like the sister that you never had, but always wanted. Really, really wanted.'
Lee sighed as he sat down next to her. "Kara's always been able to get under my skin."
Dee stayed silent as she held his hand in hers. 'I will never live inside of you like she does. You could give me your hand, you could give me your last name, but she would still have you. It's not even your fault, it's not even anyone's fault. It just is what it is. You belong with her. Like a long time ago, I had thought I belonged with Billy. For the first time in my life, I recognize that two people belong together. And it's not you and me. The reason this doesn't feel real is because neither one of us is really here.'
Lee leaned down to rest his head in her lap. "I'm so tired of fighting."
She soothingly stroked his hair. "Then don't anymore."
Dee knew that one day, she would have to do the right thing and step aside. But she didn't think she had the strength to end this today. She would do it soon, but not today.
"Ow, frakking take it easy, would you?" Lee hissed as Cottle took off the tape around his bandage.
"Not your girlfriend, Captain." Cottle rasped as he ripped off another piece. "Don't have time to sit around, holding your hand."
"Right." Lee grimaced.
"You're healing quite nicely." Cottle said as he took a drag on his cigarette. "Soon, you'll be fully recovered."
"Yeah." Lee muttered sarcastically to himself. "Good as new."
"Your father also healed quite nicely when he was shot. Must be in the genes."
"Uh-huh."
"Shear willpower of the girl watching over you might've had something to do with your speedy recovery as well."
Lee smiled. "Yeah, her being here must've helped Dad recover too."
"Excuse me?" Cottle asked in surprise. "She wasn't even on the ship when your father was hurt. She was off on her little mission to the Cylon-occupied, radioactive hell that we used to call home."
Lee had to close his eyes to blink away the confusion he felt at Cottle's words. "Who, Starbuck?"
"Yeah." Cottle answered simply as he examined the wound. "Who did you think I—?" Cottle looked up to Lee's face. "Ohhh, you thought I meant the Petty Officer. She was here too. Stayed by your bed the whole time, crying. Never had much use for criers." Cottle snorted. "Thrace, on the other hand, stayed hidden in that corner over there; praying. Now prayers don't exactly heal bullet wounds, but they do more good than tears."
Lee stared at the corner that Cottle had pointed to. "I never saw her." He whispered.
"She slipped out the minute you woke up; the minute she knew you were okay." Cottle told him as he put on a fresh bandage. "Guess she didn't need recognition of the fact that she had been there."
Lee nodded as he sat there numbly.
"My nurses were glad that Thrace stayed out of the way most of the time." Cottle added. "Dualla was quiet, placid, never gave them a hard time." He chuckled. "But the few times the Petty Officer left sickbay, Thrace took over. Demanding that you get a new IV bag, yelling at the nurses to give you another shot of Morpha when it seemed like you were hurting. She was a real pain in the ass." Cottle finished, looking at Lee thoughtfully. "Kinda like you were when she was in here."
Lee found Kara in the bunkroom, getting ready for her shift. She heard him walk in, but didn't acknowledge that he was there. He waited calmly for her to do so, but she never did.
So he spoke first. "We need to talk."
"Do we?" She asked as she rummaged through her locker. She then turned around to face him. "Do we really, Lee? What else could we possibly have to say?"
His face remained blank. "A lot."
"Yeah, listen……." She pulled her hair back in a ponytail. "Is this installment of the 'Lee Adama is Disappointed in Kara Thrace' drama series gonna take very long? I have CAP."
"You stayed in sickbay the entire time I was in there." He stated to her.
Her expression didn't change. "Not the entire time, just until you woke up; then I knew that I was neither needed nor wanted."
"Why were you there?" He whispered.
She smirked at him coldly. "There wasn't anywhere else that I needed to be just then." She waited for him to respond, but he just stood there, looking at her. "What else did you need to say to me, Lee?"
He finally closed his eyes in defeat, knowing that she wasn't going to give him an opening. "Nothing." He said sadly. "Nothing, Kara."
The smirk dropped and she slumped slightly so that she leaned against the locker behind her. "Nothing." She repeated desolately. "Did you ever notice how stupid people use the word 'nothing' when what they're trying to describe defies description?"
Her past words echoed in his brain. There is nothing here. Do you get that? Nothing.
"Yeah." He whispered. "I did notice that."
She looked away from him and sighed as she pushed off the locker. "I gotta go."
"No." He said firmly. "Don't go."
She turned around again. "Don't go where, Lee? To Caprica or to the flight deck?"
He looked down to the floor. "Both."
She shook her head vigorously. "I have to."
He walked toward her quickly and meaningfully, grabbing her arm. "No, you don't have to." He hissed at her in desperation. "So don't, Kara."
Her face distorted in pain and anger. "No. You don't, Lee. Don't do this to me." She began trying to pull her arm away, but he held on tighter. "Please."
"Stop it, Kara." She kept trying to pull away, but he had no control over the force in which he held her arm. Something else had taken over. "Stop fighting me!"
Her elbow jabbed him squarely in the stomach. "I am trying to!" She screamed sobbingly as he let go of her arm so that he could double over in surprise. "So why won't you let me? Why won't you see that I'm trying to make things better for us?"
He stood back up. "There is no us." He breathed out calmly, in stark contrast to her agitation. "So don't try and tell me that this is for us."
"I made him a promise." She stated as she quieted down. "I promised him I would go back."
"So what?" He pointed out. "If he's dead it won't matter. And if he's still alive, he was never gonna hold you to that promise anyway."
"How do you know that?" She shouted.
"Because it would be frakking stupid for you to go back, Kara!" He took her arm again, gently this time because she wasn't trying to fight him.
"Well, I'm good at being stupid." She sneered softly. "You've never been shy about pointing that out."
"You don't have to go back for him."
"Yes, I do." She said determinedly.
"If he's Mr. Superhuman Commando like you say he is, he doesn't need you to save him." He pleaded with her as he let her arm slip free. "And neither do I. Stop being Starbuck for a second, Kara. I don't need you to be."
"Being Starbuck is the only thing I've ever been good at, Lee." She whispered, and in a heartbreaking gesture, reached up and touched the bandaged area of his chest. "Everything else I just frak up beyond repair."
"I'm still alive, so that's not beyond repair. And I don't need you to be Starbuck." He took her hand in his. "The only thing I need is for the people in my life to still be here with me."
"Well, then I can go, because I'm not actually in your life. Am I, Lee?" She closed her eyes and trembled. "Maybe I never was. You've got your father; you've got your girlfriend." She opened her eyes again and looked at him questioningly. "And what exactly am I?"
He squeezed her hand a little tighter. "I don't know, Kara. Maybe nothing." He stared at her mouth as her lips trembled at his words. "Because you've always defied description too." He traced his thumb over her bottom lip. "I can't describe this, maybe it's just too big to explain to anybody that isn't us."
She pulled away gently, not wanting him to feel rejected. "I have to go back. I have to at least try to find him." She touched her lip where his thumb had been. "He's not everything that I need, but he's what I want; because I don't want to keep doing this." She pointed back and forth between them as she retreated from him. "It's too much, like I'm not even breathing air anymore. I want to try to have something that's simple and easy."
He nodded in understanding, but didn't follow after her. "Then you should go back. You should at least try to have what you want." He walked over to the other side of the room and closed the locker that she had left open. "But it won't satisfy you, Kara. People like you and me don't do things easy." He looked her square in the eye. "We do things right."
Things were never going to be easy between them. They weren't easy people.
But Lee was telling the truth, they did do things right. And what Starbuck and Apollo had together was right, even if it wasn't easy.
For the second time in just a matter of weeks, Dualla stood outside the pilot's bunkroom and eavesdropped on a private conversation, listening to their shatteringly honest words.
That's when she knew she had the strength to end this.
She watched Starbuck walk out of the room and then halfway down the corridor, stop and brace against the wall to try and gather her strength. Dee then peeked inside the room and saw Lee press his forehead against Starbuck's locker in anguish.
And that's when she knew she had the strength to end this today.
Lee came to the Observation Lounge when he got Dualla's note. He was no longer trying to fool himself about what their relationship was. Now he was just trying to fool himself into believing that it would be enough.
He closed the hatch behind him and only saw one other couple in there, clearly too caught up in each other to notice anyone else. He smiled slightly as he walked toward her.
She smiled back as she stood by the window. "How was your afternoon?" She said quietly.
"Good." He replied.
"Anything happen?"
He shook his head. "Nothing."
She lowered her eyes to the ground. "So clearly, it's not just yourself that you lie to."
His expression was one of confusion. "Dee, what—?"
She looked back up. "This was a mistake, Lee."
His expression instantly changed to one of remorse and defeat. "What did I do? What did I do to make you mad? What did I do to push you away?"
"Nothing, you didn't do anything. I'm not mad." She reached up to touch his face. "And you haven't pushed me away…………because I was never really with you to begin with."
He began a stuttering plea. "Dee, you can't just—."
"I heard you today, I saw you today... with Starbuck." She saw him lower his head and she looked to the stars outside. "I used to catch glimpses of this fire inside you. Only glimpses, because you suppressed it pretty well behind what other people expected of you. But I saw it, and I was drawn to it. And I wanted to be near it, so I was drawn to you." She chuckled slightly to herself as he came to stand beside her and looked out the window as well. "But I see the truth now."
He breathed deep and looked at her. "What's the truth?"
"It's not just you." She said simply, calmly. "It's you and her."
"Hey, I don't know what you think—."
"Will you just not talk for a minute? I may be doing the right thing, but this is still hard. And I don't need you explaining away everything that I'm trying to tell you." She took a deep breath and saw him nod. "I saw you with her. The look in your eyes, the sound of your voice; you were never like that with me. Even when we were…………" Shelaughed wearily. "And I can't compete with that."
"You're not." He pleaded with his hand on her shoulder. "You're not competing with her."
"Not her." Dee corrected. "I can't compete with what the two of you are to each other. I wouldn't even know where to begin to try."
Lee's hand dropped and he looked away. "It's not—."
"I know it's 'not'." She confirmed. "But I'm starting to think that the reason it's 'not', isn't because you don't want it to be, but because something has always been standing in your way." She let out a small sob and then gathered her strength again. "And I don't wanna be that something. All three of us deserve better."
His voice got quiet and regretful. "You have a lot more faith in us than you should if you think that you were the only thing standing in our way."
"Well, in a year, if the two of you aren't together, it'll be because you're both emotionally-crippled, intimacy-stunted, commitment-phobics that can't let anything go." She nodded decisively. "Not because of me."
He stepped back with a desperate look on his face. "What do I do?" He pleaded innocently.
Dee smiled slightly. "The easy thing would be to go tell her that you love her." She reached up and smoothed the fabric of his jacket. "But we both know you're not gonna do what's easy."
"Why are you looking at me like that, Agathon?" Kara hissed at Helo when she saw him staring at her.
"Just trying to figure you out, Starbuck." Helo replied in amusement as his eyes dropped back to the map that was spread out on the rec room table.
"Well, stop trying." She smiled. "Because you'll never be able to do it."
"You realize this is like, beyond stupid."
"Yeeeessssss. I do." She cooed as she made an X on the map in front of them. "I should go in here."
Helo pointed to another spot on the same map. "Here would be safer. Out of the way, nobody would look for you there."
"That's exactly why I shouldn't use that spot." She looked up at him. "Nobody would find me. I'm starting to think that I'll never be able to find the resistance cell. They're not at Delphi Union anymore; it would be idiotic of Sam to keep them in the same place for that long. And Sam's not an idiot."
"So you're hoping that they find you." He finished for her.
"Put myself out in the open, hope they notice. Hope they might even be looking for me."
"Yeah, but if you put yourself out in the open, the others who are looking for you might find you too." He paused to let it sink in. "The Cylons. You remember them?"
"I can handle the Cylons. I did it before."
"Yeah, except this time, I won't be there to rescue your sorry ass."
She laughed heartily. "You didn't rescue me before, Helo. If I hadn't made my way outta that hospital on my own, I'd still be there. And you and everybody else that came to 'rescue' me would be dead."
Helo nodded and looked to the map again. "I hope you understand why I can't go with you." He whispered guiltily.
"You have something keeping you here." She confirmed. "Of course, the thing that's keeping you here is frakked up, but I understand it."
"Yeah." He muttered. "If anybody understands frakked up relationships, it's you."
Kara sighed and rubbed her temples. "Karl, don't."
"Why do you think you have to go back for Anders?"
"Because I promised him I would." She replied.
"Yeah." He said sarcastically and shook his head in disbelief. "I'm sure that's all it is."
Kara winced slightly in irritation. "Why do you keep trying to give me depth? I'm incredibly shallow. It's simple: I made him a promise, I'm gonna keep it. That's why I have to go back for Anders."
"That's why Starbuck has to go back for him, because Starbuck doesn't say things that she knows she doesn't mean." He knowingly pointed out. "But why is Kara going back?"
She closed her eyes in recognition of the brutal observation. "If I do this, I can move on."
"With Anders?" He questioned softly.
"With myself." She said as her eyes moistened. "If I do this, maybe I can prove to myself that everyone who loves me isn't destined to suffer."
"I love you." Helo smiled. "I'm not suffering. At least not because of you."
She smiled back. "We play cards, we laugh, we swap stories, we drag each others asses out of the fire, and yeah, I love you too; but you've never been…………..willing to blindly hand your heart over to the frak-upedness of Kara Thrace."
Helo winked. "Nah, I only blindly hand my heart over to the frak-upedness of robot girls."
She chuckled, and then got somber again. "If I can do this, maybe I can prove to myself that I can be better. That I'm not……………. That I'm worthy of a good man."
"Now we're getting down to it." He teased. "So tell me, is this 'good man' the one that's waiting for you on Caprica? Or the one that'll be waiting here for you when you get back?"
"So that's it, Karl?" She smirked. "Black or white? Left or right? One or the other?" She looked away. "It's not that easy."
"And do you think things will be easier to figure out from behind bars? 'Cause if you actually do this crazy-ass thing, that's where you'll be living when you get back."
"Maybe that will be the definitive answer then." She grinned as she tapped her pen on the table. "Whoever comes to see me in my cell is the guy I'm supposed to be with."
"But that's not really fair to Apollo, is it?" He laughed as he sat back in his chair and put his feet up on the table. "The CAG and the Old Man will be pretty pissed at you, they might not visit."
"Oh, I don't know about that." Lee's voice spoke up from the open hatch. "Our capacity for forgiveness knows no bounds when it comes to this woman."
"It's the middle of the night." She whispered as she turned around to look at him. "What are you doing here?"
Lee walked to the table and touched his chest with his hand. "Who, me? Oh, I'm not here. I'm asleep in my rack."
Helo anxiously tried to roll up the map from his view. "Hey CAG, we're just, we're just—."
"He knows what we're doing, Karl." Kara told him softly, stopping his agitation. She then looked up at Lee and grinned. "Helo's not here either. He's also asleep in his rack."
Lee took the map from Helo's hand and rolled it back on the table as he sat down in a chair opposite Kara. "And what did sleepy Helo suggest you do for transportation?"
Kara grinned. "Well, he mumbles in his sleep, so I didn't really hear it clearly. But I believe he said something like………….steal the Heavy Raider that we brought back with us and jump away before CIC knows what hit them."
"Dad and the President know that you've been itching to go back to Caprica, they have that ship under guard. They'll know your movements."
"I think you vastly underestimate the number of people that want me to return for these survivors." She told him reluctantly. "Especially people in the military who want to go back and fight for these guys."
He nodded in recognition of her point. "I never underestimated it. I know you have friends that will help you."
"I won't tell you who they are." She added defiantly. "I'm the one that's doing this. If there's gonna be fallout, I'll carry the brunt of it."
"I wasn't going to ask you who they are." He corrected, locking gazes with her. "Do you have any friends in CIC?"
Kara was so floored by the question that Helo had to answer for her. "No. That was our weak spot."
"I know someone who'll do it." Lee replied, still staring straight at Kara.
"No, you don't you don't know someone." Kara shook her head. "I won't let you do this. It's bad enough that I'll be betraying him. If the Admiral finds out that you had anything to do with this, he'll be devastated."
"I won't be your person in CIC. And I won't have anything to do with this." He smirked. "After all, I'm not here."
She smirked back. "You're asleep in your rack."
"That's right."
"Who?" Helo asked Lee. "Who do you know in CIC that will do it?"
Lee looked up at him. "You know who. If I ask her, she'll do it."
"Won't work." Kara said as she shook her head again. "It could still be traced back to you. You're involved with her."
He lowered his eyes. "Not anymore." He then looked back up to Kara and saw the stunned expression on her face at what he had just revealed. "And if all it takes for this to be traced back to me is involvement with the guilty parties, I've already got a cell with my name on it."
"But it would only be guilt by association, not real involvement." She bit her lip at him. "Because you're not really involved."
"Not at all." He said, staring at her mouth. "I'm not involved at all. But if I were here and not asleep in my rack, I'd tell you that CIC won't know what you're doing until after you're long gone."
The look on her face was unreadable. "Well, you're not involved with this, because you're asleep in your rack. But hypothetically, if you were here... I'd ask you why you're helping me."
Lee sighed loudly. "Well, hypothetically……. I'd have to tell you that it's complicated."
Helo chuckled at the charged back and forth between them. "Speaking of complicated, don't you think your plan is?"
Kara tore her eyes away from Lee's and looked to Helo. "No, not particularly."
"Why am I not surprised?" Helo snorted. "You're gonna mastermind a vast military conspiracy and infiltrate an enemy stronghold, hoping and praying that along the way you're not detected by the enemy OR by your allies………….and you're acting like it's just another day at the office."
"Yeah." She shrugged, looking back to Lee. "It'll be easy."
Helo shook his head in amusement. "Kara, I hate to point this out, but in your life, you've never done anything that was easy."
Kara opened her mouth to respond, but before she could get the words out, Lee answered for her.
"She knows." He smiled at her, his eyes full of total acceptance. "And she likes it that way."
She smiled back at him, her eyes mirroring his. "You would know."
-finis