Thank you so much for all the reviews! Now I'll answer them...
Star Dragon Pixie: Please don't come after me with a large stick! Especially not one with a spike! Ouch, that'd hurt! But I'm glad you like the story!
Luvable-Cutie: I'm sorry, but there won't be much fluffy moments in this chapter... I'm hoping there will be some more soon though!
Nandotabby: Lily and James do need to start getting together "pronto"... If you readthis chapter youmight be pleased winks.
CrazyLily:Read on to the chapter!
GoldenPhoenix: Lily's still my favorite character too!
Chapter Ten
Later that night, Ellie told me that both Cassie and Sirius had apologized, and she had forgiven them both and was happy for them. She didn't go into farther detail.
About a week later I woke up early feeling restless. I brushed my hair and teeth, and went downstairs still in my light pink pajama top and bottoms (I don't care if everyone says red heads can't wear pink! My pajamas are comfy!). I blearily walked into the kitchen, and –making myself some green tea- sat down at the table. Closing my eyes I took a sip, enjoying the early morning. It was then, that I noticed the person sitting across from me –I know it took me awhile-. It was James. Who else? Ever since the night we had gotten into a fight, we had been carefully polite –if not sometimes cold- when around each other. Not that I tried to be around him much. Even if we were pretending we had never gotten into a huge fight, I was still avoiding him.
"Good morning." James said evenly.
"Good morning." I said, just as evenly, back.
"How did you sleep?"
"Fine. You?"
"Fine."
"We really need to go shopping today. We're almost out of food." I said.
"Okay. Let's go this afternoon. Everybody should be awake by then. Why don't we start a list? That way we don't have to go back to the store, like we did last time, because Sirius forgot the bread. Honestly, who forgets to buy bread?"
Both of our tones lacked our usual flirty lightness. I realized that I missed being like that with James. He was smart, and funny; and I had started to enjoy bantering with him. In fact, I had enjoyed most of time I'd spent this summer with him; barring the past week of course.
"I have a grocery list here." I placed the list in front of him. "Look it over to see if I missed anything."
"Okay." James started looking it over, adding a few things at the bottom.
"Well, I'll go see if anyone's awake." I said awkwardly and putting my cup in the dishwasher, headed back upstairs.
I quietly opened our bedroom door, not wanting to wake anyone up. I could see Ellie's form burrowed underneath the covers, and Cassie blinking sleepily as she sat up in bed. I heard the shower turn off from the bathroom, and a moment later Maya came out dressed in her jogging clothes.
"I'm going for a walk." She said before leaving.
"And I'm going to take a shower." Cassie grabbed her towel and went into the bathroom.
I padded back to my bed and lay down on top of my comforter, pressing my face into my big fluffy pillow. After a moment I turned so I could look at Ellie who was still happily snoring away.
"Ellie? Are you asleep?" I asked quietly. No response. "Ellie…" I said a little louder.
"ELLIE!" I yelled. "Are you still asleep!"
"Not any more." Ellie grumbled.
"Oh good! You're awake! I need to talk to you."
"'Kay" Ellie muttered. "I'm listening."
"I think… that I might like… James… as in, "like" James." I thought out loud. Then the impact of what I'd just said hit me and I cringed waiting for her to say something along the lines of "Are you on dope?" or "You're insane!"
"Tell me something the whole world doesn't know" came her reply.
"Ellie! I'm serious!" I protested.
"So am I. Did you honestly wake me up to tell me that you finally figured out, what everyone has known for ages?"
I felt tears starting to well up in my eyes, as it seemed like thousands of questions and thoughts whirled inside my brain (I don't usually get so emotional so quickly, but in the past week, the littlest things had started to make me cry). Everyone had known? Was everyone laughing behind my back? Had I really been that obvious? What did James think of me? I'd been such a fool! Maybe I should run away… I could go to France, or Italy. No, that wouldn't work. I didn't speak much French or Italian. But I could go to the United States! They spoke English! Although they did speak with funny accents, and had weird words. But it won't matter; I'll learn to adjust. Always have. I'll miss my friends if I run away. Hey! I have an idea! Why don't I kill James! Then all my problems will be solved.
But at the thought of killing James, my heart squeezed painfully. Oh well. Maybe killing James is not the answer… maiming James, maybe? I could make him blind, or –even better- deaf! Then I'd never have to talk to him! But again, my heart squeezed painfully at the thought of never talking to James again. It was bad enough with us ignoring each other, if he was deaf, then it'd be simply awful!
Ellie poked her head over her covers and –seeing I was upset- decided to make me feel better by lying.
"I was kidding! Nobody knows you like James, and nobody will know!"
"Thanks." I said, feeling a little better, even though Ellie was lying.
"I've an idea. How about we go into London and visit my cousin Marcy. You've met her. She just got her own apartment, and I'm sure she wouldn't mind us crashing! You could get away from James, and I could get away from two certain-little-love-birds." Ellie said the last part in a growl.
In truth, I'd been amazed at how nice she was being to Cassie and Sirius. She'd even refrained from making any public insults when Ellie had come across the couple making-out (her restraint had only lasted so long. As soon as we were alone, she had vented all her anger out to me). Going away would be good for both of us. I doubted that anyone else would miss us, for we'd been sour company the past few days.
"Yes. Let's leave immediately." I said.
"Okay. I'll take a shower and then we can go."
"You have your coat? Purse? Money?" asked Ellie.
"Yes, yes, and… wait, let me check." I rummaged through my wallet. "Yep, I have money."
"We're all set then."
"Wait!" I called out to Ellie who was half way through the door. "Shouldn't we leave some sort of a note? So no one will worry about us?"
Ellie rolled her eyes. "Fine." she went into the living room, grabbed a piece of paper and quickly scribbled something. "Now, we're all set."
"Ellie! What are you doing here?" Marcy asked hugging Ellie.
Ellie pulled back. "Marcy, do you remember my friend Lily?"
"Yes! Hi!" Marcy smiled at me.
"We were wondering if we could crash at your place. We're having some… issues… at home."
"Of course you can stay as long as you want! But, you'll have to tell me more about these "issues"... sounds intriguing." Marcy ushered us into her small but nice apartment.
"Wow" Marcy commented when Ellie and I were finished spilling out our woes. "You have quite the tale there. Both of you…. well, you're welcome to stay the night. I'll be glad of some company!"
Ellie and I looked at each other. "We'd love to stay" Ellie said. I nodded my agreement.
"Great. I have to go to the store to get some stuff, but two blocks from here is a pretty park with a lake and ducks to feed, which you could take a walk in."
"Sounds good" I smiled.
"That was fun." I said as I walked up the porch steps to our house. Yesterday we'd spent the night at Marcy's house, and had spent most of today there too. It had been a relaxing weekend. Briefly I wondered when summer vacation had become so… stressful.
"It was" Ellie agreed. "And now, it's time to face the… damn it! I forgot that muggle expression! Time to face the magic? Music? Maracas? I was pretty sure it started with an "M". Oh never mind. I can't remember… do you think the others will be mad? We didn't call them or anything…" Ellie thrust the key into the lock and opened the door.
"We're big girls, what we do is our business. They might be a little annoyed though." I stepped into the house and took my coat and shoes off, putting them in the closet.
I followed Ellie into the living room and gave a casual wave to Maya, Cassie, Remus, Jon, Sirius, and James who were all sitting on various couches and chairs, as I crossed the room to the stairs. I didn't even realize that no one greeted me back, or that all of them were frowning, until after Cassie said in a tight voice.
"Come back here. Right now. Ellie, you too."
"Sure. But can it be quick? I'm tired, and am looking forward to my bed." Ellie apparently had not clued in on the fact that there was trouble. More specifically that we were probably the trouble. Or at least about to be in trouble.
When both Ellie's and my eyes were on her, Cassie started her rant. "Are you out of your minds? Did aliens from outer space replace your brains with oatmeal? Did it not ever occur to you to tell us where you were?"
I felt a wave of guilt come across me.
"WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN ANYHOW! You disappeared without a trace, and didn't come back until the day after!" Maya was considerably louder than Cassie.
Comprehension dawned on Ellie's face, as she realized that we were in deep trouble. "I left you a note." She protested thinly.
"Yes. About your note. Let me read it out loud to you." Sirius said as he drew a piece of paper out of his pocket and cleared his throat. "We've gone out. Don't worry. THAT WAS THE EXTENT OF YOUR NOTE!"
"I was worried sick about where you two were! You could have been lying dead in a ditch! You could have been kidnapped! Did you know, I made a list of things that could have happened to you? Want to hear?" Cassie waved a piece of paper wildly. "#1—"
"Cassie, reading your list isn't going to help much" Jon said quietly.
"It'll help me!" Cassie huffed before continuing "#1 Killed by Death Eater. #2 Kidnapped by gang members. #3—"
Sirius quickly covered her mouth, while Remus restrained her arms and legs, before Cassie could go on reading her list.
"I'm sorry!" I said taking advantage of the silence. "We didn't mean to scare you! We were staying with Ellie's cousin -Marcy- in London. We didn't think you'd worry!" I felt if possible, even guiltier. How could I have thought they wouldn't worry? This was Maya and Cassie, for Merlin's sake!
"But Lily, why did you go! It's not like you to just run off without a word!" Remus asked.
"I know. I just… I need to be away… to get away from certain… things. And Ellie –"
"I needed to go some where too. Also, to escape from certain… things… and certain… people." Ellie looked down. I saw Cassie press her hands over her face and Sirius hug her. There was silence for a moment. I realized that in all this time, James hadn't said a word. This was highly unusual for him.
"Can I go to bed now?" Ellie asked in a soft voice when there'd been silence for quite a few minutes.
"Yes," said Maya "Just next time you need to be away? Tell us where you're going, and for how long. Please?"
"Okay. I promise." Ellie looked exhausted.
"Me too. I promise." I said feeling as exhausted as Ellie looked.
"We have more we should discuss in the morning." said Sirius.
"Agreed." Ellie said. I nodded, before heading upstairs and falling instantly asleep in my bed.
I sat up. The clock read 12:01am. Rain pounded on the roof and down the windows. I was extremely thirsty, and needed to go to the bathroom really badly (having gone straight to bed after heading upstairs). Around me I could hear snores (Ellie and Maya), and mutterings (Cassie talks in her sleep), telling me that everyone else was asleep. I sat up and swung my legs out of bed, trying to locate my slippers in the dark. I eventually gave up –where were slippers when you needed them! - and made my way to the door, careful not to wake anyone.
After going to the bathroom, I headed downstairs to get a drink of milk and perhaps some leftover chocolate chip cookies that were always lying around the house in abundance. I saw a light in the kitchen. Apparently I wasn't the only one downstairs for a midnight snack. Thieves. They were probably eating all my cookies! I hurriedly made my way through the living room to the kitchen. As I passed the couch I saw the newest edition of Witch Weekly, featuring an interview with one of my favorite bands. Great, it'd give me something to read while I ate. I picked it up, and preceded –magazine in hand- to the kitchen. I pushed open the kitchen door; just in time to hear James –with his back towards me- say coldly "You're wrong. I don't give a damn what happens to her. In fact, I wish Lily Evans had never entered my summer."
Time seemed to stand still for a moment. In the back of my mind, I registered Remus saying something and then pointing at me, and James slowly turn around to meet my gaze; James seemed both horrified, and cold at the same time. He was standing by what he had just said, but at the same time he was horrified by the fact that I had heard.
Tears welled up in my eyes and made their way down my cheeks. He hated me. His words seemed to play over and over again inside my head. "I wish Lily Evans had never entered my summer" "I wish Lily Evans had never entered my summer" "I wish Lily Evans had never entered my summer"
I didn't know why I cared so much. Why I felt as if my heart was breaking in two. I'd never wanted his attention. But now I wished so much that I could turn back time and love him, when he had still loved me. To be truthful, it was nice to know someone had seen your worst, and still loved you. At least, he used to love me. Not any more apparently. I gave a dry laugh, which seemed to scare James and Remus more than anything else I could have done. Suddenly I couldn't stand being inside. I felt confined. As if my broken heart just couldn't fit inside this kitchen, this house, this life.
Anywhere away from here, away from James, seemed like a good place to go, to me. Dimly I was aware of dropping the magazine on the floor, and James and Remus calling after me, as I unlocked the back door and ran out into the rain that mingled with my tears.
The only light was the faint light of the moon, as I sprinted across the backyard and into the woods. By that time I was soaking wet, but I didn't care. I ran and ran and ran, until my feet were numb and my lungs burned. I stopped and took a deep breath before looking around me. I realized, as I looked around, I had long ago lost the path I had been following, and had since entered a part of the woods that I didn't know.
Having caught my breath, I started walking at a slow pace in a random direction. After all, everywhere leads to somewhere, right? Soon I was tired, and having given up hope of getting out of the woods anytime soon, I piled a few leaves together and lay down on them. I had multiple cuts on my feet -from running through the woods barefoot-, I was hungry and there was still a dull ache in my chest where my heart used to be, but out of exhaustion I managed to drift into a light sleep.
I awoke some time later, lying in a small clearing surrounded by big oak trees. The rain had slowed to a drizzle, but I wasn't counting on that lasting long. I rubbed the sleep out of my eyes and ran a hand through my hair –which was, no doubt, a mess-. My clothes were cold and wet and I started to shiver. Think! You're not a Prefect, with great grades for nothing! You're Lily Evans, you can get yourself out of anything. All you have to do is think! I thought to myself. I took stock of my situation. I was lost and alone, in the middle of the woods. I hadn't eaten or drank in a while. Oh never mind! Thinking is not going to get me out of this mess! Action will. Hmm. Well, I could keep walking, or I could go back to sleep. At that moment, going back to sleep sounded like the best option. But no, I must be strong. I stood up and started walking, following a small deer path. Deer paths usually lead to streams, and streams usually lead to towns. I'm on the right track. I encouraged myself. As if on cue, the rain became harder. Great. Just what I need.
I had been walking for a little while when I heard the sound of someone yelling. At least I thought I heard a yell. Hadn't I read something about how people start hearing voices when they're alone for a while? That was it. I was probably hearing the rain. I tried not to get my hopes up about someone finding me. There the sound was again. More distinctly this time.
"Lily!"
Yes! Someone was out there! I started running towards the voice, yelling out "Over here! Over here!"
And then, suddenly, I ran right into the arms of James Potter. I laughed, and before I could stop myself, I kissed him. Instantly he started kissing me back, his lips wet and slick from the rain. I pressed myself against him, clinging to him with all my strength (which wasn't very much at the time). Just as his tongue touched mine, I shivered so violently that he pulled back and taking one look at me said, "You're sick."
"No, I'm not." I protested just before my legs gave out and I collapsed against him. He picked me up, my legs wrapped around his waist, as I rested my head on his chest.
"Let's go home." said James. I murmured my agreement.
Just before losing consciousness, I vaguely recalled half asking; half commenting "I thought you didn't love me"
And I swear, that I heard him answer, "Don't ever think I don't love you"
Thank you all for reading and -hopefully- reviewing hint hint! I know that Lily and James didn't exactly get together but... it's a start right? Tell me your thoughts!
Rachel
Ps. I'm going to go back and edit the previous chapters (it'll be mostly gramatical), which means that you might be getting a lot of Alerts from me. If you want me to email you when Iactually posta new chapter, tell me, and I will.