Seta Kaibelle?
I PROMISE THIS WON'T BE A DREAM. That would ruin everything and make this some sort of cheap cheesy story. Besides, I love you guy's too much too do something like that. (grins or… smirks evilly. Bwahahaha)
YoYo, me fellow maties. Argghh… Anyways. I updated fast didn't I? All the better for you though! Bwahahahaha
Listen I'm sorry about the last 2 (or 3) chappies. I was in such a hurry to post them, I didn't get a chance to edit them. OR READ THEM OVER. So I'm sorry if they seemed sort o astray.
This is to my "Spongebob rox" reviewer.
I AM SOOOOOOO VERY SEXY. You got that spongy? Damn straight. Bwahahaha!
(it's not that she/he thinks I'm not sexy, it just so happens that he/she is one of my best friends and is trying to piss me off. She/He even wrote that, in my presents. AT SCHOOL! (DURING COMPUTER CLASS.) You are such a but! Blows raspberry. BWAWAHAHAHAHA! (inside joke to mean friend))
Chapter 13: Murderer
Tea's jaw dropped to the ground.
"What?"
"Ummm… I don't know how to use… tampons…" Seto repeated.
Tea was way too shocked, how was she supposed to respond to this? "Ummm.. well, Uhhh… did you read the instructions?"
Seto's face turned a bright shade of red. "Yes…" He mumbled.
In truth, Seto had taken one look at the instructions, and nearly vomited. He had never read or seen something so disgusting in his life.
(AC: AHHHHHHHHHHH! MY REESE PIECES PEANUT BUTTER CUP! FRIG, FRIG, FRIG, FRIG CRAAAAPPPPPPP! Starts crying horribly. I'm sooo sad. Remember how it's Halloween? Well, I was eating candy while writing this, and right at the exact second after writing that sentence, I was having difficulty opening up my peanut butter chocolate surprise, and it flew across the room! I'M SOOOOOOOO FRICCCKKKKEN PISSSSED!) : ( :' (
" Well… I guess… I guess I'll have to see if I have any pads…" Tea turned to leave, still with a completely stunned expression on her face. What kinda person is she? How the hell can't she know how to use a tampon!
Tea was in luck, she found what she was looking for.
She quickly headed back to the other bathroom, and shoved a new package in Seto's hands. "Here, and please don't tell me you don't know how to use these!" Tea said, practically begging.
Seto just took the package, overly embarrassed. He hated not knowing how to do something, even this! (AC: who knew?) It was pissing him off, even though he knew he really should not be thinking about that right now, he couldn't help it. It was in his nature. "I'll manage…" He finally concluded, slamming the door. He looked at the box, and read the directions.
(AC: that's it! I am soooooo not going into that. I am not a fricken pervert!
THIS STORY IS ALREADY NEXT TO A PORNO! THIS IS ACTUALLY, FREAKING THE SHIT OUT OF ME.
I WILL NOT Wright WHAT HAPPENED NEXT FOR 3 REASONS.
1 I FLAT OUT DON'T KNOW!
2 That's just plain wrong
3 I AM NOT A FRICKEN SEX-ATIC LIKE SOME PEOPLE I KNOW. WHO THE HELL'S STORY DO YOU THINK YOUR rEADING? MR. SEX McSEXALOT? NO WAY IN HELL! KEEP YOUR DIRTY MIND OFFF!
(PS. Mr.SexMcSexalot is soooooo sexy. Bwahahahaha!)
"OK, that wasn't so bad." Seto mumbled to himself. He pulled on the track pants, and dawned the slippers. (in truth, it was the second worst thing to happen to him in his life, the first being beaten by Yugi.)
He stepped out of the bathroom, and quietly headed toward the kitchen, where he spotted a coke on the counter (I hate pepsi) He grabbed it, thanking God it was cold.
He heard some noise from the living room, and quietly headed towards that too.
He was about to enter, when something on the TV caught his attention, and he decided to stay hidden at the entrance.
-"In more important news today, Mr. Seto Kaiba, owner of Kaiba corp. has gone missing. He disappeared early a couple mornings ago, after telling his butler he wasn't feeling too good."-
Kaiba's jaw nearly hit the ground. Oh shit, I am soooo screwd !. He absent mindedly took a chug of his coke, needing some sort of comfort. He didn't say anything or yell, noticing Tea in the room, entranced with the TV. He couldn't see her face.
-"The only news we have managed to receive about the whereabouts of Seto Kaiba, is this really pathetically bad cover up note we found in his room, saying he went away for a business trip. Even an idiot wouldn't believe that. Not to mention it's written on a piece of toilet paper." The news reporter said chuckling quietly.-
Kaiba's face had turned red. (remember, I said in chapter 4 or something, that he had written a quick note). Well you wouldn't have been thinking straight either, if you just changed SEXES! Besides, I was in a hurry.
-"This just in… we have received video footage of a strange character that exited the Kaiba mansion a couple days ago. The morning Mr. Kaiba went missing. Apparently the figure is female, and never entered the mansion that morning."-
The TV, showed footage of HIM, walking around a corner, obviously sneaking nervously. (in his female attire of course).
Pppppppppplllllllllllllllllssssssssssssssssssughhggggggggghspluter!
"Eww gross!" Tea shrieked. Seto spat his coke out every where, including on Tea's head!
Tea turned around angrily. "What was that about?" She demanded, her eyes blazing.
"Er… uhhhh… just, uhhh… the shock of the TV news! Yeah, that's right, the TV!"
"You didn't have to give me a shower!" Tea said, heading toward the kitchen. Seto followed.
After Tea grabbed some towels, she turned back to give a stern look at the girl, probably to tell her off about ruining her couch, but she couldn't. Her angry expression turned to one of pure shock and fear.
"Wh-what?" Kaiba asked nervously, but he knew what.
"Y-you, on the T-TV! Kaiba m-missing, a-and you on the T-TV!" Tea stuttered. "MURDERER!" She shrieked, throwing the towels at Seto, and managing to smack him in the face (with the towels).
Tea screamed and ran down the hall, screaming "HELP, HELP, MURDERER IN MY HOUSE! HELP!"
"No, NO! I'M NOT A MURDERER!" He shouted chasing after her. This only caused her to scream more. "SHUTUP! DO YOU WANT THE NEIGHBOURS TO HERE YOU?"
"YES!" She screamed, still yelling help.
"NO, NO!"
dramatic chase sequence:
up stairs
down stairs
up hall, down hall
Tea enters open door
Seto enters the opposite
Tea exits two doors down the one she enters
Seto exits the one next to his opposite entering door
Tea walks confusedly straight down the hall (how did I get here?)
Seto exits farthest door and runs into Tea who was exiting the opposite door.
They both scream, and run back into doors
Tricycle with huge ass front wheel, and two men riding it, exit forth door down, and enter door across from it.
Dinosaur walk through
Tea enters fifth door
Seto enters fifth door
Scream is heard from inside fifth door.
(AC: got that from Scooby doo. Don't own it, or coke for that matter)
"MURDERER!" Tea screamed, yet again.
"For the last time, I'm not a murderer!"
Tea had no escape from the room, so she opened her mouth again, to let out another scream.
"SHUT UP!" Seto yelled before she could make a sound.
That shut her up.
"Now, before you go pointing any fingers"- Kaiba gave Tea another look that could kill, but not as bad as if it was Ryou. Poor Ryou.
"I just want to tell you, that I DIDN'T kill myself- Uhhh… I mean, kill Seto Kaiba." Kaiba sweat dropped.
"Yeah, well… than why were YOU" She pointed a finger at Kaiba. "at his house the morning he disappeared."
"Ummm… well, I was at his house because… I'm ummm… his cousin?" Damnit! I couldn't have come up with a crappier excuse!.
"Don't be stupid! I'm not falling for that! Everyone knows Seto Kaiba's only family is his brother."
Damn!
"Now you better tell me the truth, OR I'LL CALL THE COPS!"
"I don't see how. We are in a bathroom," He smirked at her, looking around the bathroom he woke up this morning in.
Tea smiled evilly. "Yeah, well, since I spend so much time in here anyways, I added a phone." She jerked her thumb behind her, to where a phone hung on the wall.
OH, FOR SHIT'S SAKE. WHO THE HELL HAS A PHONE IN THE BATHROOM. YOU GOTTA BE KIDDIN ME!
"Damn it." Kaiba muttered.
"Come, on. Spit it out. Why were you at the mansion this morning?"
I can't believe I'm gonna say this but-
"OK, fine. I'm ummm… I'm Seto's girlfriend."
Tea (O.O) "Eh?"
Seto scrunched his eyes closed, and fisted his hands. He couldn't believe he just said that! He wanted to melt through the floor and disappear. No, even better! He wanted to wake up and this would be all a dream.
"heh eh eheh…"
Was she… was she laughing at him?
Seto popped open an eye.
"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Tea was clutching her sides and rolling on the ground. "Oh t-that's g-good!" She gasped.
Now Seto felt like he was melting through the floor.
"I"m- I'm not lying!" Seto said quickly.
"S-sure!" Tea said still clutching your sides.
Kaiba waited for Tea to calm down. (about 5 minutes)
"Wow, are you serious?" Tea inquired.
"Yes." Seto said proudly.
Tea scanned the girl up and down. "Hmmm… well no offense, but you really don't seem like Kaiba's type. I mean, first of all, I didn't know he could love. He seems like such a cold heartless bastard. You know, with him always trying to get us killed and stuff like that. Not to mention he fires anyone who breathes out of line"- Tea didn't notice Kaiba's face start to turn red, and his hands make very tight fists. –"And come on, he always refuses dates and flirting from other girls. Only two days ago, I had a girl name Lieha, crying on my doorsteps, yelling I was right, over and over again. She was a mess. Kaiba didn't just break her heart. He tore it right out!"
Kaiba looked away at this comment. Was he really that cold hearted?
"Second of all, IF he would date, he seems more like the type for rich, hot, super geniuses… or stupid idiotic models." She added as an after thought. "Come on, when Ryou found you, you were dressed almost as bad as a hobo! I mean, your skirt was a scarf, and your jacket, if you could call it that, was a ripped bath robe. Although, if you were at his house that morning, it would explain why you were wearing a men's school blazer." (is that what it's called. I would call it a blouse, but that doesn't sound too manly). Tea added the last part with a smirk.
"And just what are you implying by that remark?" Seto inquired giving a deadly glare. He ignored the rest of Tea's babbling… for now.
"Oh, nothing…" Tea said, making a gesture as if to wave the idea off.
"Damn right, nothing!"
"Whatever…"
"And you listen here… what makes you think Seto Kaiba would only want to marry stupid retarded dumb models?"
"Oh, well it's pretty obvious, isn't it?"
Kaiba just raised an eyebrow.
"Well Kaiba hates being beaten right? And he hates being anything less than some one else, right? Well, in that case, a stupid model wouldn't be any challenge to him, she would obey his every order, and not to mention he would probably have fun banging her every night."
"yeah… WAIT! WHAT!" Seto had really been thinking about what Tea had been saying, until she mentioned that last statement. "WHAT IN THE HELL DO YOU MEAN BY THAT!"
"You know… bang, screw, tango, hump the bump, need I go on?"
Kaiba's face was now completely red in embarrassment. Here she was, freely and unashamedly talking about HIM and his SEX life. She even had pet names. Did, she talk about him having sex all the time to be this confident stating it? Seto shivered. He didn't even want to know. (AC: or did he? Bwahaha)
"Oh wait a second! I think this is yours?" Tea said reaching for something.
Does she not care what her words are going to do to me? Seto wasn't taking in the fact that he was a girl right now, and she had no idea in hell, that he was Seto Kaiba. But that,… was all about to change.
"Here you go." Tea said handing the girl her wallet. "I found it tucked in your bathrobe pocket, and put it on the counter. I guess I forgot about it."
As she handed it to Kaiba, something fell out.
"Oh, I'll get that." Tea bent down to pick up the card that fluttered out.
She started to hand it back to the girl, but her hand froze in mid air. Seto noticed her eyes widen.
"W-what?" He stuttered for the second time.
"Seto Kaiba…" she whispered, reading the card.
(O.O) OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
AC: wow, wow, WOW! What's gonna happen next. Bwahahahahaha now that's a cliffie
I am actually really surprised at how long it took for me to finish this. I supposed to finish it this week end, on Saturday, maybe Friday, bit I finished it on Monday!
I mean, it's still pretty fast. But people use the weekend for free time, and barely ever get to go on during the week. Except me. Bwahahahaha! Oh well, some of you will just have to wait a week until you find out what happens next.
So, join us next week on another adventure of Seto Kaiba, "The Man with the Sexy But"
You stay classy San Diego! (winks)
I DON'T KNOW WHERE THE "BEEPIN" HELL THAT CAME FROM! Oh, I guess it came from "anchorman", but still I DON'T EVEN LIVE IN SAN DIEGO. IN FACT NO WHERE NEAR IT.
I'M A PROUD CANADIEN EH. ACTUALLY, I AM NOT THAT PROUD. I RATHER LIVE IN JAPAN, A HUNDRED TIMES MORE, EVEN ITALY WOULD SUIT ME. THAT'S MY FAVOURITE COUNTRY. CAN YOU GUESS WHY? (COUGHANIMECOUGH) NOW YOU MAY THINK I WANT TO LIVE IN ITALY BECAUSE IT'S SOOO "ROMANTIC AND BEAUTIFUL", BUT THAT'S NOT WHY. SIMPLY BECAUSE I'M ITALIAN. YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT. ALTHOUGH I DON'T SPEAK IT FLUENTLY. I KNOW A COUPLE WORDS THOUGH, AND I CAN READ LATIN LIKE NO TOMORROW.
BuT ANYWAYS…… CHOI! (Italian for goodbye. Also for hello. Funny eh? Kinda like aloha, in Hawaii)