Chapter 7: Superheroes
Severus Snape was walking back to Hogwarts Castle across the grounds, when he saw Lucius Malfoy walking in an uncharacteristically cheerful way towards him. Since he didn't have much time for pleasantries, or anything else, for that matter, he merely nodded at him and strode past. As he turned right into the hallway, he saw Lucius Malfoy walking towards him. He raised his eyebrows. "Lucius." He said. "Didn't I just pass you outside?" Lucius' eyes narrowed.
"Did you?" he said, thoughtfully, and led Snape back to the doors. They looked out, and saw another Lucius standing on the lawn, cajoling with a big yellow butterfly. "Hhmm!" Lucius said disapprovingly. "That must be my evil twin, Lucios."
"How can you have an evil twin, you're already evil." Snape pointed out, gazing in fascination at Lucios, contemplating a rather pleasurable scheme the sight of the doppelgangers had provoked in his ever creative mind.
"Alright, my good twin, Lucios, then." Lucius said, looking angry. Suddenly, he wheeled around and grabbed Snape by the shoulders. "There's only one thing we can do!" Snape took hold of Lucius' wrists and removed his hands from his upper body.
"What's that?" he asked, disinterestedly.
"Call in Lucior, the Doom Lord, and his trusty sidekick Snapor, of course." Lucius said.
"Sidekick?" Snape said, angrily. He was about to lay the verbal smackdown on Lucius for suggesting that he had an inferior position in their superheroical relationship, when he was suddenly noticed that Lucius was wearing, inexplicably, a silver catsuit, with what looked like a pink codpiece over it. Lucius was also holding out a second outfit, which, to Snape's horror, appeared to include hotpants. He frowned, and said in his quietly dangerous voice: "Lucius, what is that?"
"Snapor's outfit!" Lucius said. "Be quick about it, Lucios seems to be sauntering happily off." He looked at Snape, who was glaring at him, and holding out his wand. "Well, you don't have to look so… EEEEEH!" he suddenly screamed, and ran off.
A couple of students, out for an afternoon walk, were treated not only to the unusual sight of Lucius Malfoy, wearing a silver catsuit and a pink codpiece that seemed to be on fire, running screaming across the lawn, but also to the spectacle of Professor Snape jumping up and down in the hallway on a small heap of smouldering silver and pink fabric, grumbling profanities and something that sounded a lot like 'HOTPANTS!'.