Chapter 5

Stay With Me

(Kenji)

The signs of what was happening to my father grew so much now that I couldn't ignore them. I began to notice little things that he had always been able to hide from me, such as his limp. I had never seen it before, but now I noticed it all the time. According to Mom it had been there since Dad had first gone blind.

I had to call him twice often to get his attention, with his hearing depleted like it was. He didn't notice things right away like he had since he'd lost his eyesight, and I had to make sure that I called his name before I touched him at all. I had made the mistake one time of forgetting, and I had found my wrist in a crushing grip and my father's amber tinted eyes glaring in my direction.

More things came out as the years passed. On the day of my fourteenth birthday I noticed that Dad hadn't eaten at all. I offered him some food, but he refused with a smile, saying that he wasn't feeling too well.

That had confused me. In all the time I could remember, Dad had never been sick. He had never said those words to me; I had never seen him sick at all. Why would it be starting now? Was it what Aunt Meg had said? Was my father really going to leave us?

It wasn't until I caught Mom and Dad having a late night talk that I realized the severity of what was going on. I had known all along that Dad was getting steadily worse, but this really opened my eyes. I was supposed to be in bed, but I hadn't been able to sleep, and then I had heard their voices. I went to hide behind the wall, listening carefully.

"Kenshin, you need to go talk to Megumi, please! I'm so worried about you!" That was my mother's voice, sounding full of fear and worry.

I heard my father sigh. "Kaoru, Megumi-dono has told me many times that there's nothing she can do. You know this."

"Kenshin, please. There has to be something she can do! You don't eat, you barely sleep, and you're in pain often, something's not right!"

I heard Dad begin to speak, but his voice was cut off in a choking sound, and I heard his running footsteps as he sped for the bathroom, probably to throw up.

I couldn't listen anymore. I stole away from the place, running into my room and huddling on my futon. I held my blankets tight around me, closing my eyes slightly. 'Please, Kami-sama. If you can hear me, don't take my Dad from us. We need him. Please…'

"Kenji! Kenji, will you come here for a moment!"

I heard Dad calling for me, and I ran to his side. "Yea Dad, what is it?"

He smiled in my general direction, and then gestured towards the laundry basket sitting near him. "Would you please take this inside for me?"

I blinked, but lifted the basket and followed him as he felt his way along the wall. Yes, felt. Dad could no longer use sound and other things to estimate where he was in the house; he had to feel along the walls in order to stay away from them. Once he knew where he was he was relatively accurate with his predictions, but he still held his fingers against the wall for comfort.

I set the basket where he indicated, observing his limp with worried eyes. It was getting worse, and quickly. I knew that my father had asked me to carry the basket for more than just the reason of his blindness. His hands were bandaged, and both were curled in his gi, trying to hide from the pain that touching things brought. My mother had explained that there were sores on his hands, and that it was painful for him to touch anything.

I sighed slightly. "Dad…" I touched his shoulder, and he looked towards me with glazed violet eyes. "Are you alright?"

He smiled. "Hai, of course I am Kenji."

I frowned. "No, you're not." His smile fell at these words. "I know that you're not Dad, don't lie to me. I'm not little anymore. I know something's wrong with you, even if nobody will tell me what it is."

He sighed then, looking away from me. "You're so perceptive Kenji; sometimes I wish you weren't so smart." His bandaged fingers closed softly around mine, just enough to lead me, but not cause himself pain. "Come with me Kenji, I need help changing the bandages on my hands, and we need to talk."

I followed him silently. I wasn't sure what there was to talk about, I already knew about that deity that he had made a bargain with, I knew that he would probably go deaf on my 15th birthday, which was two months away. I knew that his body was weak, that the attacks were wearing him down. What more could there be?

My father led me to his room, sitting down near his and mother's folded futon and leaning tiredly against it. I got bandages and then sat beside him, worry on my face. "Dad?"

He smiled slightly. "I'm alright Kenji, I'm only tired." His face fell into seriousness as I held his bandaged hands gently in mine.

I unwrapped his wraps, exposing the red sores covering his hands. Beneath the linen, down in the lower layers of bandaging, crimson blood stained the cloth. I frowned, but listened as Dad began to speak.

"As you know Kenji, your 15th birthday is fast approaching. And, for many swordsmen, they go through a ceremony on this birthday. I believe that you are ready."

My eyes widened. I knew what Dad was talking about, did that mean…

"I gave Yahiko my sakabatou when you were young and now I think that it is your time to have it. You have grown up so much Kenji, and I am very proud of you." He smiled at me, and then hissed in pain as I began to wrap new bandages around the lesions on his hands. I made a comforting sound in the back of my throat, and then went silent as he sighed in relief and then continued in a soft voice. "I had wished to test you myself, but I'm too sick, too old."

"Dad…" I protested. "You're not old!"

He chuckled slightly. "As much as you'd like to believe that, yes I am Kenji. I may not look it, but I am getting up there in years."

I blinked, tying off the final bandage and setting my hands in my lap. "Well how old are you?"

"Ah, thank you Kenji, that feels much better. I'm fifty-two."

That shocked me. "Fifty-two!"

My father laughed. "I know Kenji, I don't look that old, but believe me, I can feel it. My body is giving out on me, I can no longer wield the sword as I once did, nor can I do much else."

I looked down. I had had no idea how old my father really was, and this new knowledge shocked me. My Dad was old, just like he had always said. But he looked so young still, people could mistook him for a teen, or a man in his early to late twenties. I didn't know what to do.

My father sighed again, his fingers touching mine. "Since I cannot test you, I wanted to have Yahiko do it for me. Would this please you Kenji?"

I looked up at him. "I don't care Dad. Whatever you want will make me happy."

His face softened, and I was surprised to see tears filling his eyes. "Oh Kenji…" His fingers touched my cheek. "You're so thoughtful of others. You are everything I wanted you to be, and more." I found myself enclosed in his warm embrace. "You are so much more a man than I was at this age. I am so proud of you aisoku."

My eyes were wide. 'My genpuku… That's what this is about…'

Dad pulled back from me, and I felt his lips against my forehead in a brief affectionate kiss. "I love you Kenji, I hope you never forget that." He smiled then, looking towards the door. "I'll bet your mother has dinner almost ready, why don't you help your father up and we'll go eat."

I stood, pulling him up by his forearm and letting him lean on me as he stumbled. My face was set in determination, and I put an arm around my father's chest. 'I'll help you Dad, until I can't anymore.'

I suddenly smiled. "I almost forgot. I love you too Dad."

His smile lit up the hallway.

(2 months later)

My birthday. The day that I had been looking forward to, and yet dreading at the same time. My heart was pounding, as it had been for the entire day, and I could feel all of my senses on alert. I just knew that something was going to happen, and unfortunately I was right.

Things seemed to be going normally. Yahiko came around lunch time, a smile on his face and my father's sakabatou through his belt. I gulped at this sight. Yahiko almost never actually carried the old sword; I had rarely seen him with it throughout my childhood. I knew what its presence meant.

Aunt Meg and Sano came as well, Sano on a short visit from his travels. Aunt Meg was only home from Aizu because of my father, she had returned about 5 months ago to continue to look after him. They smiled and wished me a happy birthday, but I could see the tension in Aunt Meg's face. She too was on the edge, just like me.

My father was all smiles and hugs, trying to make me feel better. I knew that he was only putting on the show, trying to make all of us feel like he was fine, that nothing was wrong. I, however, knew better. I could sense my father's pain through his ki, which he had taught me early on to read. He had always liked the idea of me knowing about this ability, and he said that it came in handy often. He was right; with it I was able to tell when he needed rest, although he wouldn't say it. Many times that day I had to take him by the arm and lead him away from the others, make him rest.

He protested whenever I did so, saying that he was fine, telling me that nothing was wrong. It got to the point where I couldn't take it anymore, and for the first time in my life, I talked back to my father.

"Kenji, I told you, I'm fine, I don't have to be looked after like a newborn!" my father said, anger hovering on the edges of his voice.

"No you're not Dad; I can feel it in your ki. Even you don't have that much control when you're not paying attention." I said firmly, pushing him down onto his futon.

He glared up at me. "Kenji Himura, you have no right to order me around like this. I am your father, and I can certainly stay out there with everyone else! You don't have to baby me! I am strong enou—."

I cut him off, pain filtering into my heart. "Father, iie. No, you are not strong enough. Yes, I do I have to baby you. You are not well, and I want you to stay here."

That shocked my father into silence, and he merely stared in my direction, tears welling up in his eyes. I could see his bandaged hands clenching in the blanket I drew over his thin body, and I sighed.

"Dad, please. I'm only worried about you." I reached out to touch his shoulder, more worry filling me as I felt the bones standing out beneath his skin. Mom was right, Dad was much too thin. I scanned his body, noting the protruding cheekbones, pale skin, sunken eyes, and clearly visible ribs. It was like I was seeing my father for the first time in weeks.

I wrapped my arms around my father's neck, putting my face against his skin. "Please, I just want you to stay with me. I don't want you to leave me."

I felt rather than heard his sigh of defeat, and his arms enclosed me. "I don't want to leave you Kenji, but you must understand. I did this for you, my son, and I wouldn't take it back even if the gods gave me the choice. I don't wish for you to live your life with this, and I would have gladly given up my life if it meant that you would live."

I felt tears filling my eyes, and I tightened my hold on Dad slightly, sniffling to hold back the tears. "I know Dad; you've always been like that. But, please, let me help you. I want you to be okay, and I'll do whatever I have to, to try and keep it that way."

My father didn't answer me, and I blinked as I noticed his body shivering in my arms. I pulled away from him to look at his face, and my tears fell. Dad was struggling to breathe, and I could see his eyes dimming. It was another attack, it was taking him now. My eyes widened, and I screamed.

(Kaoru)

Kenji's scream alerted everyone in the room, and I looked up sharply at the same time Megumi did. We were both on our feet an instant later, Megumi just ahead of me, sprinting towards the room where Kenji had led my husband.

We found Kenji crying, frantically shaking Kenshin and pleading with him to breathe as his lips began to turn blue from lack of air. Megumi instantly went into work, breathing into my husband's mouth and pressing on his chest. Kenji was going into hysterics, and I grabbed him around the waist, pulling him away from Kenshin so Megumi could try and revive him.

Kenji fought my hold, still reaching for Kenshin. "No Dad! Don't leave me!"

I could feel warm tears running down my face, and I held Kenji tighter. "Please Kenji; we have to let Aunt Meg work. She will help your father, but we have to stay out of her way. Please, calm down."

My voice broke through his panic, and his wide eyes met mine. I studied dilated pupils, and then he seemed to calm, nodding slightly.

Megumi's work finally paid off, and Kenshin sucked in a breath, gasping for air. An instant later, when he'd gotten the strength, he came up fighting. Megumi shrieked and barely backed away in time to avoid being struck by Kenshin's flailing fists. I knew what was going on, and I pushed my way through his defenses, grabbing his hands in my own. He had lost both hearing and sight, he was defenseless now. The first thing that had flashed through his mind upon waking had been to fight; he hadn't realized that it was Megumi caring for him.

Once I grabbed his hands I brought the shaking fingers up to my face, pressing them against my skin. Even though I knew he couldn't hear me, I still spoke, if only to reassure myself. "It's only me Kenshin. Feel me, I know you can. It's only me."

His fingers ghosted across my lips, and he seemed to understand my words. His body crumpled, and he fell against me, sobs echoing from his thin body as he clung to me in desperation. I held him gently, rocking him against me. "It's alright…I'm here…."

Now, I don't really know how old Kenshin was around Kenji's 15th birthday, nor do I know when Kenji was born. I came up with my own timeline here.

Kenshin and Kaoru's marriage 1881 (Kenshin's age 30, Kaoru 19)
Kenji's birth 1888 (Kenshin 37, Kaoru 26)
Kenji's fifteenth birthday 1903 (Kenshin 52, Kaoru 41)

There, timeline! Hope that helps my reasoning. Please review!