(A/N: This is a superspeshul chapter, which I actually wrote for someone other than you, dear readers, but because I have no artistic integrity and want to pipm everything I write, and furthermore, since it's my birthday this week and I was feeling birthday-y, it's also here. Please don't feel you have to do anything special. Nudge nudge. Wink wink. With permission kindly bestowed by the good J. Nothing says 'fun' quite like party hats. )
Chapter The Special: Lucius Malfoy, Birthday Basher!
Jennifer entered her bedroom after a long, tiring birthday, to find a man sitting on her bed. She blinked in confusion. The man looked vaguely familiar, but her mind was hazy and she was grumpy, and therefore couldn't decide who he was, exactly. So she decided to ask him. "Who are you, exactly?" she asked.
"I'm…" the man started, looking pained. "I'm… Lucius Malfoy, Birthday Basher!" he put a little pink party hat with a sparkly pompom on top on his head. "And I've come to bash your birthday! Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday, dear Rocky, I mean, Jennifer…" he threw a handful of confetti into the air halfheartedly.
"That was crap." his appreciative audience informed him.
"I know." Lucius Malfoy, birthday basher, said. "A seven hundred year old name, and I'm reduced to being a birthday basher in my spare time to earn some extra cash." He sighed a long-suffering sigh of long suffering sighing.
"Right." Jennifer said. "Wanna go get drunk? On expensive Belgian beer you're buying?"
"Sure." Lucius Malfoy, birthday basher, said, and the two of them walked away to have the night of a lifetime, and they both woke up the following morning with pink sparkly party hats in weird places.