(A/N: Sorry to fall into repetition like this for the minions who've read this week's chapter of Don L, Grandson of Zorro, but I, who know their taste so well, just cannot deny my dear readers the chance to appreciate the wonder of sadistic comedy that is The Hogwarts Tinies. You may find it here: strangehours. com /portfolio/ papergashlyindex. html
But be sure to remove the spaces from the link and add the http thing in front, you little charmers.)

Chapter 12: Ridicule Is Nothing To Be Scared Of

It was one of those golden summer evenings, and Lucius Malfoy and Severus Snape were sitting in deckchairs on the Malfoy Manor lawn, drinking wine and eating exotic cheeses. "Ah, Severus…" Lucius sighed drunkenly. Snape gazed at him from beneath heavy eyelids.

"What is there to "Ah, Severus" about?" he demanded.

"Remember…" Lucius drawled slowly. "Remember when we first met? Back at Hogwarts? You were cleaning the floor, and your Ugly Gryffindor Sisters James and Sirius came in, who were possibly transvestites, and they threw around your toys, and your band mates tried to comfort you, and then a girl in roller skates came in with a giant invitation."

"Lucius, that…" Snape said, but Lucius went on.

"And the Ugly Gryffindor Sisters were all excited and told you that you couldn't go to the ball. And then," Lucius said impressively, "I appeared with my glittery black dancers on a cloud. Using my trusty wand, I turned you into Prince Charming!"

"No, that…"

"And then you went to the ball after all, and you swung into the room by the chandelier, shrieking like a schoolgirl, and everyone did a very stupid dance. You danced up the stairs, and then you smashed the mirror, and you turned into Alice Cooper. And then into Clint Eastwood. And then into Lawrence of Arabia. And then into a Dandy Highwayman." Lucius said. "Remember?"

"Lucius," Snape said. "That wasn't me, that was Adam Ant. And that wasn't our first meeting you've been describing, but the video to Prince Charming."

"Oh." Lucius said, blinking confusedly. "I was already wondering what Marco was doing at Hogwarts." he finally remarked, and poured another glass of wine.