(A/N: Actually, there are two Snapes in England. I intend to be inside each of them at least once.)
Chapter 19: Human Geography
There was a reception at the Ministry of Magic, and as he stood sullenly next to the table with the wine on it, Arthur Weasley was disconcerted to see Lucius Malfoy sidling up to him, a rather predatorial grin on his face. "Yes, Lucius?" he said, glancing around uselessly in search of rescue.
"Hello, Weasley." Lucius said, staring down at him from underneath pale eyelashes. "Long time, no sneer."
"Indeed." Arthur said, in a voice that indicated that he felt no displeasure at the extent of Lucius' absence.
"Guess where I've been?" Lucius said. A tiny smirk played around his lips. Arthur shook his head stupidly, as though the answer was beyond his intellectual grasp, whereas in reality, he just could not be bothered.
"In Snape." Lucius said, taking a sip from his goblet of wine.
"What?" said Arthur, in considerable alarm. "I mean, where?"
"In. Snape." Lucius said carefully. "You know, just a casual visit."
"Why? What?" Arthur said, still astonished.
"Oh, it's very pleasant in Snape." Lucius continued. "We had a lovely time. Moving around..." he saw, with pleasure, that Arthur's eyes widened in surprise. "… having tea. A nice picnic…" By now, Arthur Weasley's face had frozen in an expression of extreme horror. Having achieved his object, Lucius strode away to shove galleons down Fudge's robes in a much better mood than he had anticipated.