Chapter Three:

Uncomfortable Penance

Aleasia discovered, as the days moved on, that the wounds she had thought had healed with time had done nothing but conceal themselves, hidden away in a dark corner of her heart, seldom visited.

Seeing his face again, hearing his voice that was at once sharp as steel and as smooth as velvet…it left her weak and vulnerable. She felt again as she had all those years ago when she made the decision to leave. She felt as though her heart had been torn open. All of those sweet memories she had stored away for safekeeping came flooding back into her, filling her senses until she thought she would die with the pain of it.

As a result, she kept to her rooms. Knowing she could not bear to see his eyes look onto her with such fury, such despising distaste as they had upon their reunion. Not those eyes. Not those onyx orbs that had once lit to life whenever she walked into a room, that had held such passion and love within their depths whenever he took her in his arms. Not those eyes. No, never those eyes.

Albus Dumbledore came on a Friday night, bringing the news that an Order of the Phoenix meeting had been scheduled for the next night. She invited him in for tea, knowing by the gentle insistence lurking in his age worn eyes that he was not to leave until he said his peace.

"I did not take you for the type prone to avoidance." He had stated calmly with little more enthusiasm then one would require when conversing of the weather.

She had sighed then, confessing her fears to the man who had for so many years been like a father to her. "Perhaps it is avoidance. He's changed, Albus."

Dumbledore nodded. "Did you expect him not to in all this time?"

It took a minute for her to answer, flinching when she realized that it shouldn't. "Not like this. He's grown cold, unfeeling." She stood to stand nearer the hearth, hoping the flames would warm the ice that traveled inside her. "He always was good at controlling his emotions. Never letting anyone aware of what it really was going on within him. But now…it's almost as if he were dead inside."

Albus wisely let the silence hang for a moment. "He has had a trying few years since Voldemort's return."

"No, don't!" Aleasia commanded, turning around to refuse the worthless comfort he had offered. "You cannot sit there and tell me he has been this way only since Voldemort began his new reign." She shook her head. "No, I did this to him. It's little consolation that I had little choice in the matter."

Again it was silent, the warmth of the room carrying a pregnant array of emotion and thought. "I fear for Malyia. She is my daughter. But even more I fear for myself and for Severus. For she is his daughter as well."

And with that she had given in to the wracking sobs that caused her body a weakness strong enough to collapse beneath her. Curled on the hard wood floor, she found herself wrapped in Albus' arms, being rocked back and forth as though she were once again a child.

The classroom in which she would teach had been cleaned, decorated, and prepared to her liking. Her lesson plans were completed. She had finished unpacking her belongings in the suite of rooms she had not quite felt comfortable enough with to yet call home. Everything that had needed her attention had been seen to, awaiting the start of term that would begin in just two days time.

Indeed, all had been accomplished but steadying her hands and calming her nerves.

The Order of the Phoenix meeting was due to begin in a little over an hours time, yet here she stood, before a full length mirror wondering how she was supposed to carry on when even breathing seemed a difficult task when standing in the room where Severus was.

She'd dressed carefully this night, hoping to make a good impression on the many new members she would be meeting for the first time and to soften her harsh disappearance with the many old members she had once knew well and loved.

Her hair was pulled off her face, having pinned her curls to the crown of her head allowing just a few to fall free where they would. Her body was draped in a beautiful witch's gown. The sleeveless bodice was made of smooth red velvet where it then met with a flowing length of red silk.

He had always loved her in red. She wondered briefly if he still would.

Chastising herself for such foolish thoughts, she slipped on her shoes and made her way through the endless corridors until she found herself before the gargoyle that guarded the headmaster's office.

Before she could even utter a password, however, she was greeted from behind.

"I had just been past your rooms to offer you an escort. I'm glad you decided to make it after all."

Rolling her eyes as she spun around to face Albus, she could not help but feel irritated that he could be so free with his criticism. "This is why I am here after all, is it not? Though I must say I wonder how you would hold up had you been walking in my shadows!"

To her own frustration she found that instead of marking an effect on the headmaster, his blue eyes continue to sparkle behind his half moon spectacles. "I'm glad to see, at least, that none of your spirit has been lost over the years."

Taking her by her elbow, the gargoyle sprang to life revealing a narrow spiral staircase that took them directly to Dumbledore's study.

"We're a bit late, I'm afraid. Everyone should be waiting just through this door here." He said, indicating towards a thick oak door that blended so gradually with the study's many shelves and books that one would hardly notice it unless having it pointed out.

Coming upon the door, Albus paused in his steps to turn and face Aleasia. "Don't worry, my dear, it will be over and done before you notice it had come at all."

Then he turned back, and proceeded through the door, leading her into a room that held maybe thirty people all together. All of them seated around an old antique table, which she was sure, had been here since the founders themselves.

Immediately noticing that the chair, which had been left vacant for her, was seated next to Severus, Aleasia hardly heard the headmaster as he introduced her to the assembled.

"To many of you, this young woman is a familiar face you may have thought to never see again, to others she may be every bit the mystery as her drawn-out absence. Aleasia Karly is here as one of the most esteemed witch's I have had the pleasure of knowing. She has graciously left her home in America to aid in the war as she did fifteen years ago. Aleasia, I give you the order."

Realizing finally, that was her cue to be seated, she plastered a smile upon her face and shakily took a seat next to the man who was the bane of her mentality.

To her frustration she found that he was no more pleased with the seating arrangements then she had been.

Sitting beside the woman he had loved more deeply then his own life was not easy for Severus Snape. Indeed, had it not looked suspicious he would have walked to the other side of the room and chosen another seat so as not to be so close as to feel the heat radiating off the body he had once known so well.

She had worn red, he noticed. She had always looked so damn beautiful in red.

He idly paid any attention to his surroundings, as they went around the table discussing this or that order business. For now, he would simply listen and reexamine everything that was said later, as his brain refused to function well in such close proximity to Aleasia. Before too long, Albus was gesturing for him to stand and report what he had learned during his last meeting with the dark lord.

Standing, he took the opportunity he had been granted and walked to the space on Albus' right, directly across from Aleasia.

"As most of you will be aware, I missed the last order meeting as I had been summoned by the dark lord. The information he relinquished is hardly more then what we had been expecting. He is planning to offer salivations, as he has already done with the dementors and giants, to other dark creatures such as werewolves and vampires. His plan is to mould an army that shall be indestructible to even his most prominent foes."

To this he cast a pointed look towards Dumbledore and Aleasia.

"Now, to move on to new territory, the dark lord has informed me that he does indeed know of Professor Karly's return to Hogwarts. In fact, he has offered a most generous reward to any death eater who will bring her to him alive and unharmed. It will come as no surprise to any of you who the leading contender is."

Severus took in the surprise that lit Aleasia's eyes, wondering to himself why she wouldn't have been expecting this upon her arrival.

On Aleasia's behalf, however, she rather felt she had too much else on her plate to have even given a thought to how Voldemort would react when he realized that she was indeed a member of the order once again.

A middle-aged woman with bright red hair leaned forward in her chair, hesitantly. "I'm sorry Severus, perhaps I'm just out of the loop, but why should you-know-who have such an interest in Professor Karly?"

To this, Mad-Eye Moody responded. "Cause' she's the greatest damn auror to walk our world 'cept for Dumbledore himself!" He slapped his knee in glee, obviously finding this trivial fact to warrant his pride.

Aleasia sighed. "He's taken an interest in me, Madame, because I was the only one to win a duel with him besides the headmaster before Harry Potter came along. I was an active member of the Order during Voldemort's first reign and was the result of many ruined plans on his behalf. Just before his downfall years ago, he had ignited a desire to…well,"

Severus took over where her hesitation caused an unfinished answer. "The dark lord desires her to wife." His eyes locked with Aleasia's across the table, an angry smirk lining his lips as he placed both hands upon the table, bracing his weight. "All though I'm not sure his plans would bear any fruit. Professor Karly rather has a problem committing to any one person!"

The room grew silent with tension. The older members, such as Moody and Lupin, were most familiar with Severus and Aleasia and the only few who were aware of their past and what Aleasia's sudden departure had caused Severus.

Aleasia's body began to tremble all over again, only this time from her blind effort to control her rage. "Meaning what, Severus? That I left you for another man?" Her voice was quiet, barely reaching the ears of those on the opposite side of the room.

Albus Dumbledore was tense with anticipation, he knew they were likely to have it out at some point or another. He had just hoped that it would not interrupt important order meetings.

Severus pushed his weight back until he was once more standing straight. Silently cursing himself as he realized that the words had come from his mouth without any thought. Ever since the beginning, he could not be around Aleasia without losing control of himself!

"Fuck." He whispered, striding quickly from the room without so much as a glance behind him.

His departure left nothing but speculation and silence. Aleasia felt the familiar sting behind her eyes signaling the arrival of tears, and she too left quickly behind Severus.