The pact

Remus/Sirius

"I can't believe he's done this to me!" Sirius yelled for what must have been the tenth time since he came up here. "Does he not see how bloody sick and wrong it is? What the hell is wrong with that boy? How can he do stuff like that… I mean it makes me sick every time I think about it."

I really think he was making too big a deal out of this. I mean it's just a date, and James has been pining after Evans for years.

"Come on, Sirius don't you think you're overreacting!" I asked, knowing Sirius wouldn't stop his mad ravings for such a small thing as sense. And just as I predicted, he shot a glare at me, as if I was the mad one.

"We made a pact moony!" he cried before carrying straight on from where he left off.

Ah, yes, 'the pact' as they so inventively called it. They told me about the pact a few days after I first met them, claiming it was the whole foundation their friendship was built on. But I think they were exaggerating that part.

Anyway the pact was well, a pact, they made when they were younger. Both of them had sworn to never fall in love with a girl, and never, ever date one. They'd stuck by this up until third year, when James discovered the wonders of snogging.

That's when the pact was edited. They still couldn't fall in love with or date girls but they were allowed to pull them. So James went out and pulled any pretty girl who threw herself at him. Sirius, despite having the larger fan club, and the prettier girls, was more reluctant to do anything with them. In all these years he's only ever kissed one girl and he told me frankly "that was the most disgusting thing I've ever done" and he never mentioned her again. That was about four years ago now.

And now James has broken the pact completely. He'd fallen in love with a girl. And because of this I'm spending my valentines day listening to Sirius rant about James. I was supposed to be on a date tonight. I had to send Peter to tell him I couldn't come.

Yes, I said him; yes I am gay, deal with it. Peter's the only one out of our group who knows and that was an accident. I mean it's pretty hard to hide it when he walks in on you making out with the head boy…just in case you were wondering, it was last years head boy, I was not making out with James... That would just be… no, I don't even want to think about it.

Still, it's hard to resent Sirius for sparing me a night of awkward conversation followed by half-hearted making out… or more if I'm really drunk. I'd much rather spend a night with Siri anyway. I've long ago accepted the fact that I'm helplessly crushing on my best friend. Just like I accepted the fact that it's never going to happen. Sirius is stubbornly intent on remaining single his whole life, claiming that girls just annoy the hell out of him.

Jesus, he's still ranting. My patience is starting to wear thin, who cares how friggen sexy he is, this is just childish.

"Siri? Do you fancy James or something? He's on a date, get over it, it's called growing up." I interrupted; he stared at me, his silver grey eyes trying to burn a hole through my skull.

"no." he answered scathingly, before returning to the rant. "I'd still rather go out with him than any girl though. I mean what is he thinking?"

"You'd rather go out with James than a girl?" I questioned intrigued. He stopped ranting and collapsed on his bed, obviously exhausted. I sighed inwardly; he'd probably be easier to talk to now.

"Well yeah, I mean I've never been attracted to girls, don't really see what the fuss is about, pulling that girl Amy in third year I didn't feel anything. At least James is fun to be around with." I contemplated this a second, if I didn't know any better I'd think Siri was gay. He'd always proclaimed that friends were all he needed, despite all the flirting he did. But then maybe the idea had never occurred to him. I don't suppose he really grew up in an environment where homosexuality was acceptable and there's not really any gay people at in Hogwarts…that he knew of.

"Hey Padfoot?" I began; I really needed to know now. "Do you think you could be gay?"

Sirius opened his mouth but no answer came, his pale eyes widened in realisation as his lips formed a silent "oh." I study him quietly awaiting a response. I end up waiting for about ten minutes. That's when I started getting worried.

Padfoot hadn't moved from that spot and had only blinked twice. I was just about to say something to get a response from him, but he beat me to it.

"Shit!" he yelled, snapping out of his revere. "Shit! Fucking wanking crap! Friggen monkey bollocks. I'm gay? I mean…I'm a crapping poofter! Does God hate me or something? What, did I really need another reason for my parents to hate me? Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, Remmie, what am I going to do?" he looked at me desperately, his breaths coming out hard and fast, if he didn't calm down then he'd start hyperventilating.

"Well you could start by calming down, I mean, its not that big a deal ok!" he nodded absently. I moved to sit next to him so that I could put my arm around him. "Are you one hundred percent sure you're gay?" he smiled at me sideways before running a hand through his hair.

"I think so. It'd explain a lot, why I've never fancied any girls, why I feel more when I hug you then when I made out with that girl, and why I have those dreams where you…" he stopped and turned to look at me fearfully. I looked at him completely gob smacked. I struggled a second trying to regain my composure, I blinked.

"Dreams where I what?" I questioned. Sirius' pale complexion turned to a deep crimson as he reflected upon those dreams.

"Never mind." He squeaked out.

"Umm, Siri ermm… in those dreams…umm... when you…Sirius do you fancy me?" I stuttered trying to get the question out. He blushed deeper.

"I don't know," he mumbled. I waited patiently for more explanation to come. He chanced a look at me and sighed when he realised I wanted him to explain. "It's just I dream about you, and I feel differently about you then I do with James, but I didn't think it meant anything. Then again, I've always thought you were at least ten times more attractive than any of those girls, moony I'm confused."

I didn't let him finish his rant, I kind of zoned out when he said he dreamt of me. I leant forward and pressed my lips firmly against his. He didn't respond at first but I still deepened the kiss, causing him to return it.

We eventually drew away and I smiled at the look of surprise on Sirius' face.

"So Padfoot, do you fancy me?" I asked him, panting heavily, Sirius doing exactly the same thing.

"Oh, God yes" he managed out before pulling me down for another kiss.