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Black Dreams, White Dreams
By Lulu-san
Chapter 5 - Broken Angel
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Later in the day, Lulu stood alone on the deck, relaxing in the quiet of late afternoon. Rikku, Yuna and Tidus had decided to help out in the kitchen, and no doubt Wakka was studying Blitzball techniques somewhere.
They were really in the middle of nowhere now, and all that Lulu could see from her position was stretches of blue water joining the horizon. The sky was turning red as the sun slowly began to set. She sighed, and rested her arms on the side of the railing. It was completely silent, except for the occasional squeal or burst of laughter coming from the kitchen. Lulu smiled grimly. With any luck, the food that Yuna and Rikku prepared might just be edible.
She closed her eyes, and tried to clear her mind. But no matter how many times she tried, images of Chappu and Wakka kept floating into her mind. Giving up entirely, she resorted to simply staring into space, focusing on the fast disappearing sunlight. For a totally unexplainable reason, an old song leapt into her mind. It was an old song that she had sung when she was a child. She had taught Wakka, Chappu and Yuna the song, and the three of them had sung together.
Lulu lowered her gaze from the sky to the sea. The reflection of the water was really quite beautiful.
"How did that song begin again?" she thought, trying to remember the lyrics.
She began to sing softly. Nobody else was out on the deck, and she felt quite alone. Alone enough to sing to herself. Her voice was quiet and pure when she sung and she was surprised at the change. She hadn't even allowed herself to hum since Chappu had died. It had just been another part of grieving.
But now.now it was different.
"Your name is a whisper on the clouds," she sung softly. "When I think of you, I think of your love."
"Forever can wait a while if you would." Another voice joined in from behind, harmonizing with her own.
She spun around to see Wakka smiling foolishly at her.
"I didn't hear you arrive." She said, giving him a reproachful look.
"I haven't heard you sing for years." He replied with a grin. "At least not since.well, you know, ya?" he said softly, joining her at the railing.
"Hmph. I don't exactly make a habit of performing."
"I know." He sighed, leaning his head back and staring at the sky.
They stood there in silence for a while, wrapped up in their own thoughts.
"Oh yeah! That's right! Rikku sent me to tell you that dinners ready a bit earlier than expected. Like, it's ready now, ya." Wakka said suddenly.
"Errgh. Do I have to come?" Lulu said, a small smile spreading over her face.
"You don't want to disappoint them do you? Not when they've worked so hard to make this.unrecognizable disaster? I think that they're serving some meat that I couldn't recognize, something else, something else and a salad. At least, I think it's a salad. It's hard to tell when they burnt the lettuce." Wakka laughed.
"Oh no. Perhaps I should have helped out." Lulu said, beginning to walk down towards the kitchen.
"Maybe not. Maybe this will discourage them." Wakka said wistfully.
"What are you talking about? You and Tidus make far worse food. And Kimahri and Auron? Bleagh. I don't want to remember that." Lulu grumbled, as she approached the kitchen.
"Here goes." Wakka chuckled and opened the kitchen door.
"Aaaah! They're here!!!"
They could hear Rikku's excited yell, but couldn't see her for all the black smoke that was coming out of the kitchen.
Lulu covered her mouth with her sleeve, coughing violently. She made her way though the black smog, to where the two girls were positioned in front of the oven.
"What.have you done?" she demanded, between coughs.
Yuna looked up with a sheepish smile.
"I don't know!" she answered brightly. "It just sort of."
"Spontaneous combustion!" Rikku pitched in from behind.
The two girls looked as though they were covered in battle wounds. There were almost completely covered in soot, and splattered with a mix of ingredients. Rikku appeared to had singed her eyebrows, and was attempting to put them back to normal with a cure spell. Yuna would have been in slightly better shape, had she not been sporting several band-aids on ever finger.
"Right." Lulu said, taking charge. "You two, over there!"
Yuna and Rikku quickly moved out of Lulus way.
Still covering her mouth and nose with her sleeve, Lulu forced open the smoking ovens door, and had to jump out of the way, as it shot flames across the room. She seized the ovens handle and attempted to shut the flaring oven.
She gasped as the heat of the handle seared through her skin, and instantly removed her hand.
Using a combination of magic and common sense, Lulu somehow managed to turn off the oven, and rescue whatever Rikku and Yuna had been cooking.
Finally, she used a quick spell to dissolve the black smoke. Everybody sighed in relief.
"Lu-lu-!" Rikku wailed, running over to hug the mage. "I'm so-so-sorry!"
She tightened her embrace, and sobbed into Lulu's shoulder.
"Rikku!" Lulu said quietly, trying to loosen the young girls grip. "Let go. You're choking me."
Rikku momentarily released her grip, distracted by Lulu's burnt hand.
"Ahh! You hurt your hand!" she cried, grabbing the injured hand to inspect it.
"Huh?" Wakka looked over.
"It's nothing." She said coldly, prising Rikku off. "Shall we eat?"
The food could have been worse. Not much worse though. The two girls had somehow managed to scrape together some sort of curry, but whatever had been in the oven had melted beyond repair.
"I didn't think that eggs would melt!" Lulu overheard Rikku telling Yuna. "And who would have thought that beef could go green if soaked in vinegar for too long!
Lulu immediately took a closer look at what she had thought had been broccoli. Next to her, Wakka was spitting something orange into a tissue.
Unable to eat anything else, Lulu walked over to the sink and began to wash up. Her hand still hurt a little, but the pain was beginning to ease away. If she used a cure spell it, it would certainly be completely healed by tomorrow, but she disliked using healing spells unless she really needed them.
"Here, I'll finish up. You go sit back down, Lu." Wakka was saying.
"What?"
"I said, I'll finish up." He repeated, taking the sponge out of her injured hand.
"Hey! You really did hurt yourself!" he said, as he noticed the burn mark on her palm.
"You Ok?"
She nodded.
"Unco." He teased.
She gestured at his own bandaged hand.
"And what are you then?"
"Lulu! Wakka! Stop fighting!" Yuna scolded them, with a grin. "Or I'll send you to your rooms!"
Lulu gave Yuna a small smile.
"I was actually thinking of heading there now. It wouldn't hurt to get a full night's sleep. Goodnight." She said, as she headed out of the kitchen.
"But it's only 6:30!" Rikku called after her.
There was no reply.
Lulu shut the door to her cabin with a sigh of relief. She knew that the others thought her behavior was odd. Somehow though, her strange behavior was always explained by Wakka as 'Don't worry, that's just Lu. She'll be fine, ya." She could disappear for days, be kidnapped by strange aliens or become a table and it would still be "Don't worry, that's just Lu's way. She can take care of herself'.
But recently, Wakka would just stare into space, saying "Hmm.", whenever her behavior was called into question.
Then again, she had known Wakka for what seemed like forever. If there was anyone in this world who could pick up on ever the slightest change in her mood, it was Wakka.
Lulus eyes swept around the cabin. The room was small, warm and comfortable. The only furniture was a double bed, a comfortable armchair next to the bed, and a mirror. There was also a connected bathroom. She reached down and kicked off her boots, also pulling off her stockings. Even in Besaid, she was always careful not to bring dirt into her house. With a quick flick of her wrist, she pulled out her many hair accessories, letting the tight bun uncoil. She began the slow unbraiding of her hair, coming through the fine, dark hairs systematically. When at last it was done, she unlaced her dress and let it fall in a heap to the floor. Too exhausted to pick it up, she slowly pulled on her nightdress. Stepping over the collection of crumpled clothes, slipped into the comfortable bed, allowing the nagging need to sleep take over.
"The same dream. The same dream again." Lulu watched with irritation as the dream that had haunted her for months began to take its course again. She could always recognize a dream when it began, but as soon as she was wrapped up in its events, she could no longer tell the dream from reality.
After Lulu's sudden departure from dinner, the group had simply chatted and nibbled on pre-packaged (and safe) food, quite undisturbed by Lulu's unusual exit.
Still, Wakka was worried. He sat between Tidus and what had been Lulu's (now empty) seat, chewing anxiously on a fingernail. Sure, Lulu may be anti- social at the best of times, but she had never been quite so distant. At least, not with him.
As he sat wrapped up in his own world, Yuna and Rikkus animated conversations washed right over him. He was completely tuned out, until he realized that Tidus was talking to him.
"Wakka! Hey man, are you listening?"
"Wha- oh yeah, course, ya." He said, nodding his head vigorously.
"You weren't, were you." Tidus grinned.
"Ah, well.no." Wakka scratched the back of his head with embarrassment.
"Tidus?" Yuna was calling. "Try one of these! They're not bad!"
She tossed him a packet of dry biscuits. Tidus pulled a face as he chewed.
"Yeah. Just like cardboard." He whispered to Wakka, rolling his eyes.
"Oh wowzie! Is that the time!" Rikku was exclaiming in horror. "Hey Yuna, it's already 11:30! The boat docks at 8:00 tomorrow! We don't want to sleep in, and not get off!"
"Hmm?" Yuna replied sleepily. "I suppose so."
Tidus got up and stretched.
"Well, I guess I'll see you all in the morning. C'mon, Yuna."
"Night." Yuna called back, as the couple ascended the stairs, leaving Rikku and Wakka alone.
Wakka followed their lead, and was halfway up the stairs when he heard Rikku call,
"Wait!"
"Huh?" He turned around, to find her giving him a very serious look.
"Is Lulu really, truly alright?" she asked him. "It's just that you're closest to her, so I thought you would know and-"
Wakka gave her a sad smile and continued climbing the stairs.
"Goodnight, Rikku." He called over his shoulder.
Even if Rikku had said nothing, Wakka was determined to check up on Lulu. She had been acting funny recently, and now he knew that it wasn't his imagination. And it wasn't just a woman thing, or else Rikku wouldn't have been so worried. Stopping outside her cabin door, he knocked quietly.
There was no answer.
"Lu?" he called softly.
There was still no answer.
"It's Wakka. I'm coming in, ok?"
He pushed open the unlocked door slowly, and bent his head around the corner.
"Lu?"
The room was dark, and for a moment he thought that she wasn't there. But just before he reached for the light switch, he caught sight of her.
She was fast asleep.
Lulus soft black hair framed her face, and lay in wavy locks across the pillow. Some of it even draped over the edge of the bed causing spiral patterns on the floor. Her features were relaxed and beautifully calm. It was almost like her pale skin glowed in it's own light. She lay on her back, with one hand upturned, resting on the pillow, next to her face. But, the most noticeable change was her eyes. The hair she normally combed over her left eye had been brushed aside, and both her eyes were clearly visible. She had thick black lashes, which fluttered every now and again as she slept.
She looked like an angel.
Wakka could feel his heart beating faster, and the colour rising in his cheeks. She was so incredibly beautiful, that he felt uneasy and oafish in the same company. He moved closer, until he could see the gentle rise and fall of her chest as she breathed.
Wakka sighed in relief. She seemed all right. She was alive, breathing and fast asleep. Maybe he had been worrying too much. Maybe he didn't know her as well as he thought he did. Maybe he should had just let things be. Maybe-
"No."
Wakkas thought stream was interrupted as Lulu slowly began to talk in her sleep.
"No.that's wrong."
Lulu's features tensed up, and she gripped the blankets so tightly that her polished fingernails tore small rips in the fabric.
"Don't." she mumbled shakily, her body beginning to tremble. Wakka watched in horror as she began to thrash around in the bed.
"Please.stop." she called, clutching at the air, while still trembling violently.
Wakka stood frozen, not knowing how to react. She was obviously having a horrible nightmare, and was obviously in a lot of pain. Maybe not physically but mentally. He watched uncertainly, wishing he knew what to do. It was awful to watch, and he felt extremely uncomfortable.
But it broke his heart when she started to cry.
She hugged her knees to her chest, and whimpered softly. He could see tears streaming down her face, and she quietly sobbed into her hands. Every now and then she would make a choking noise in her throat, each time nearly scaring Wakka to death.
If Wakka had been unable to move before, he was completely frozen now. He could only watch as she began to cry louder, her body now shaking. Her trembling arms were covered in sweat.
He couldn't watch anymore. Forcing his body to move, he clamored onto the bed and gently shook her shoulders.
"Lu.wake up. Wake up!" he whispered.
Her eyes snapped open, her red eyes looking directly into his brown ones. She took a few raspy breaths, and sat up suddenly. Wakka fell backwards, so that he was sitting at one end of the bed, she at the other.
They stared at each other in silence, their eyes locked. Lulu looked away first, first looking down, then to the side, as though her brain was trying to process the current situation. Finally, she looked up at him.
"What." she said, her voice still shaking. She took a deep breath and started again, this time with a sterner, more 'Lulu-ish' voice.
"What are you doing here?"
Wakka opened his mouth to explain but no words came out.
Suddenly Lulu's body gave a violent lurch. She covered her mouth with both hands, praying to keep it down. She felt nauseous, and the room was spinning. She took a few deep breaths, and closed her eyes. She retched again, still covering her mouth.
Wakka was giving her a concerned look.
"Lu, maybe you should just-"
He never finished that sentence.
Lulu suddenly swung her legs over the side of the bed and stood up, wobbling a little. Wakka watched nervously, reaching out to catch her if needed. Her legs suddenly buckled, and she dropped down to her knees. She retched again, and then vomited. She tried to suppress it with her hands, but it was no good. She squeezed her eyes shut in shame, hating herself for looking so unstable. But if she had expected Wakka to be clumsy, or un-helpful or ever just plain gob- smacked, she was wrong.
He gently placed one arm around her hip, the other on her shoulder and helped her to her feet.
"It's alright now." he said kindly, doing his best to reassure her. "It's over now. You're safe now."
He helped her to the bathroom, supporting her all the way.
When Lulu had finished cleaning herself up, she took a deep breath and walked out to where Wakka was sitting on her bed, waiting. The moment she walked in, he jumped up and walked over to her.
"Are you alright now?" he asked, full of concern. "I was really worried."
She nodded.
"Thanks for cleaning up." she said, avoiding his gaze.
"No problem. Still, I didn't think that Rikku's and Yuna's food was that bad." He chuckled.
"That's not it." She said coldly.
"I know." Wakka said quietly. "I know."
There was an uncomfortable silence.
"How long were you there for?" Lulu demanded suddenly.
"Ah.erm, well." Wakka stammered, scratching his head. "Well, ya know.um.from the beginning."
There was another uncomfortable silence.
Wakka looked across at his childhood friend. She was looking away. Through the thin fabric of her nightdress he could see the true outline of her figure. She was so delicate, fragile almost. Besides of that, she was extremely thin. Painfully thin. Without her intimidating outfit, or her strong personality mask, she could almost be another person.
Lulu noticed Wakka looking at her. Looking at her body. She also looked down, suddenly self-conscious of what she was wearing. Her nightdress was made of a thin, white material. It wasn't see-through or revealing, but it wasn't exactly like the outfits she would normally wear in public. It came down to mid thigh, and had no sleeves, just thin straps. There was a small amount of lace trimming at the top and bottom. She wasn't going to waste time being embarrassed though.
"Hold on below!" she could hear an unfamiliar voice suddenly calling from above deck.
"Wha-" Wakka yelled in confusion, as the room suddenly threw them backwards. It seemed that the ferry had hit a massive wave, and had almost rolled on its side. Almost as if in slow motion, Wakka could see objects sliding past him, as the room tipped on an angle.
Suddenly, Lulu crashed into him, having lost her balance. He caught her easily, holding onto her wrists to support them both.
"Sorry about that, folks!" The captain called apologetically. "Won't happen again."
"Phew." Wakka said, grinning with relief.
Lulu started to pull away from him, but he didn't let go. Wakka frowned, and tightened his grip on her wrist.
"I knew it!" he growled, holding up her wrist as if it was proof. "You have lost weight."
"Let go!" she snarled, wrenching her hand from his.
"Hey hey! I'm worried about you alright!" Wakka said angrily, raising his voice.
"Shh!" Lulu hissed, gesturing to the other rooms.
"Oh right. Sorry." He apologized, but he still frowned.
"You had better leave now." She said coldly, pointing to the door.
Wakka shook his head.
"I'm not going until I know you're alright."
"Fine! If you're not going, then I'm going to sleep." Lulu said harshly, heading towards the bed.
"Fine with me." He smiled.
"You're still going to stay?" she demanded, turning to face him.
"Yup."
"Fine." Lulu was obviously determined not to lose the argument. She pulled back the blankets and lay down. "Good night."
"Night."
Wakka walked over to the armchair beside the bed and sat down.
"You'll need someone here if it happens again, ya." he told her quietly.
"It never happens more than once a night." Came her muffled reply.
"More than.You mean this is a recurring dream?" he demanded angrily. "And you never told me? How long has it been going on for? No wonder you're losing weight!"
"Long enough." Lulu answered in a tired voice. "I'm going to sleep now."
There was silence for a long time.
"Lu?" Wakka finally asked quietly. "Hey.you're not really asleep, are you?"
He bent over her. She was indeed, sleeping peacefully.
"Oh man." He chuckled to himself, sitting back down in the armchair and resting his hand on the bed.
He heard Lulu sigh peacefully and then roll over so that she was facing him. He felt a soft warmth on his hand, and looked down to see her hand clasped over his.
"Hey, Lu!" he mumbled in amusement, attempting to slide his hand out from under her own.
But she just held on harder.
"C'mon. Don't be silly, ya." He told her quietly, still trying to prise her fingers of his hand. As she tightened her grip, he finally gave up.
"I guess it doesn't hurt to stay like this for a while." he whispered to himself, and slid his fingers through hers.
However, 'for a while' evaporated as he slowly drifted into sleep, their hands still clasped.
******************************** Sorry about the length of the chapter! I kind of got carried away! Waah! I feel really bad for Lulu! But don't worry! Things will get better for her - I promise! ^_^ I've been listening a lot of 'The Brilliant Greens' music lately, I really love them! Also, how cute is that song 'All the Way' from the FFX vocal collection! ^o^ Oh yeah! Speaking of music, the music that kind of inspired this chapter is the song 'Breathing' by Lifehouse, check it out! I think it kind of suits Wakka and Lulu.not necessarily lyric-wise, but the song/tune.sigh~ I love that song. Hmm, maybe this chapter was too angsty/graphic.send me a review, tell me what you think! I'd love to hear!
Black Dreams, White Dreams
By Lulu-san
Chapter 5 - Broken Angel
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Later in the day, Lulu stood alone on the deck, relaxing in the quiet of late afternoon. Rikku, Yuna and Tidus had decided to help out in the kitchen, and no doubt Wakka was studying Blitzball techniques somewhere.
They were really in the middle of nowhere now, and all that Lulu could see from her position was stretches of blue water joining the horizon. The sky was turning red as the sun slowly began to set. She sighed, and rested her arms on the side of the railing. It was completely silent, except for the occasional squeal or burst of laughter coming from the kitchen. Lulu smiled grimly. With any luck, the food that Yuna and Rikku prepared might just be edible.
She closed her eyes, and tried to clear her mind. But no matter how many times she tried, images of Chappu and Wakka kept floating into her mind. Giving up entirely, she resorted to simply staring into space, focusing on the fast disappearing sunlight. For a totally unexplainable reason, an old song leapt into her mind. It was an old song that she had sung when she was a child. She had taught Wakka, Chappu and Yuna the song, and the three of them had sung together.
Lulu lowered her gaze from the sky to the sea. The reflection of the water was really quite beautiful.
"How did that song begin again?" she thought, trying to remember the lyrics.
She began to sing softly. Nobody else was out on the deck, and she felt quite alone. Alone enough to sing to herself. Her voice was quiet and pure when she sung and she was surprised at the change. She hadn't even allowed herself to hum since Chappu had died. It had just been another part of grieving.
But now.now it was different.
"Your name is a whisper on the clouds," she sung softly. "When I think of you, I think of your love."
"Forever can wait a while if you would." Another voice joined in from behind, harmonizing with her own.
She spun around to see Wakka smiling foolishly at her.
"I didn't hear you arrive." She said, giving him a reproachful look.
"I haven't heard you sing for years." He replied with a grin. "At least not since.well, you know, ya?" he said softly, joining her at the railing.
"Hmph. I don't exactly make a habit of performing."
"I know." He sighed, leaning his head back and staring at the sky.
They stood there in silence for a while, wrapped up in their own thoughts.
"Oh yeah! That's right! Rikku sent me to tell you that dinners ready a bit earlier than expected. Like, it's ready now, ya." Wakka said suddenly.
"Errgh. Do I have to come?" Lulu said, a small smile spreading over her face.
"You don't want to disappoint them do you? Not when they've worked so hard to make this.unrecognizable disaster? I think that they're serving some meat that I couldn't recognize, something else, something else and a salad. At least, I think it's a salad. It's hard to tell when they burnt the lettuce." Wakka laughed.
"Oh no. Perhaps I should have helped out." Lulu said, beginning to walk down towards the kitchen.
"Maybe not. Maybe this will discourage them." Wakka said wistfully.
"What are you talking about? You and Tidus make far worse food. And Kimahri and Auron? Bleagh. I don't want to remember that." Lulu grumbled, as she approached the kitchen.
"Here goes." Wakka chuckled and opened the kitchen door.
"Aaaah! They're here!!!"
They could hear Rikku's excited yell, but couldn't see her for all the black smoke that was coming out of the kitchen.
Lulu covered her mouth with her sleeve, coughing violently. She made her way though the black smog, to where the two girls were positioned in front of the oven.
"What.have you done?" she demanded, between coughs.
Yuna looked up with a sheepish smile.
"I don't know!" she answered brightly. "It just sort of."
"Spontaneous combustion!" Rikku pitched in from behind.
The two girls looked as though they were covered in battle wounds. There were almost completely covered in soot, and splattered with a mix of ingredients. Rikku appeared to had singed her eyebrows, and was attempting to put them back to normal with a cure spell. Yuna would have been in slightly better shape, had she not been sporting several band-aids on ever finger.
"Right." Lulu said, taking charge. "You two, over there!"
Yuna and Rikku quickly moved out of Lulus way.
Still covering her mouth and nose with her sleeve, Lulu forced open the smoking ovens door, and had to jump out of the way, as it shot flames across the room. She seized the ovens handle and attempted to shut the flaring oven.
She gasped as the heat of the handle seared through her skin, and instantly removed her hand.
Using a combination of magic and common sense, Lulu somehow managed to turn off the oven, and rescue whatever Rikku and Yuna had been cooking.
Finally, she used a quick spell to dissolve the black smoke. Everybody sighed in relief.
"Lu-lu-!" Rikku wailed, running over to hug the mage. "I'm so-so-sorry!"
She tightened her embrace, and sobbed into Lulu's shoulder.
"Rikku!" Lulu said quietly, trying to loosen the young girls grip. "Let go. You're choking me."
Rikku momentarily released her grip, distracted by Lulu's burnt hand.
"Ahh! You hurt your hand!" she cried, grabbing the injured hand to inspect it.
"Huh?" Wakka looked over.
"It's nothing." She said coldly, prising Rikku off. "Shall we eat?"
The food could have been worse. Not much worse though. The two girls had somehow managed to scrape together some sort of curry, but whatever had been in the oven had melted beyond repair.
"I didn't think that eggs would melt!" Lulu overheard Rikku telling Yuna. "And who would have thought that beef could go green if soaked in vinegar for too long!
Lulu immediately took a closer look at what she had thought had been broccoli. Next to her, Wakka was spitting something orange into a tissue.
Unable to eat anything else, Lulu walked over to the sink and began to wash up. Her hand still hurt a little, but the pain was beginning to ease away. If she used a cure spell it, it would certainly be completely healed by tomorrow, but she disliked using healing spells unless she really needed them.
"Here, I'll finish up. You go sit back down, Lu." Wakka was saying.
"What?"
"I said, I'll finish up." He repeated, taking the sponge out of her injured hand.
"Hey! You really did hurt yourself!" he said, as he noticed the burn mark on her palm.
"You Ok?"
She nodded.
"Unco." He teased.
She gestured at his own bandaged hand.
"And what are you then?"
"Lulu! Wakka! Stop fighting!" Yuna scolded them, with a grin. "Or I'll send you to your rooms!"
Lulu gave Yuna a small smile.
"I was actually thinking of heading there now. It wouldn't hurt to get a full night's sleep. Goodnight." She said, as she headed out of the kitchen.
"But it's only 6:30!" Rikku called after her.
There was no reply.
Lulu shut the door to her cabin with a sigh of relief. She knew that the others thought her behavior was odd. Somehow though, her strange behavior was always explained by Wakka as 'Don't worry, that's just Lu. She'll be fine, ya." She could disappear for days, be kidnapped by strange aliens or become a table and it would still be "Don't worry, that's just Lu's way. She can take care of herself'.
But recently, Wakka would just stare into space, saying "Hmm.", whenever her behavior was called into question.
Then again, she had known Wakka for what seemed like forever. If there was anyone in this world who could pick up on ever the slightest change in her mood, it was Wakka.
Lulus eyes swept around the cabin. The room was small, warm and comfortable. The only furniture was a double bed, a comfortable armchair next to the bed, and a mirror. There was also a connected bathroom. She reached down and kicked off her boots, also pulling off her stockings. Even in Besaid, she was always careful not to bring dirt into her house. With a quick flick of her wrist, she pulled out her many hair accessories, letting the tight bun uncoil. She began the slow unbraiding of her hair, coming through the fine, dark hairs systematically. When at last it was done, she unlaced her dress and let it fall in a heap to the floor. Too exhausted to pick it up, she slowly pulled on her nightdress. Stepping over the collection of crumpled clothes, slipped into the comfortable bed, allowing the nagging need to sleep take over.
"The same dream. The same dream again." Lulu watched with irritation as the dream that had haunted her for months began to take its course again. She could always recognize a dream when it began, but as soon as she was wrapped up in its events, she could no longer tell the dream from reality.
After Lulu's sudden departure from dinner, the group had simply chatted and nibbled on pre-packaged (and safe) food, quite undisturbed by Lulu's unusual exit.
Still, Wakka was worried. He sat between Tidus and what had been Lulu's (now empty) seat, chewing anxiously on a fingernail. Sure, Lulu may be anti- social at the best of times, but she had never been quite so distant. At least, not with him.
As he sat wrapped up in his own world, Yuna and Rikkus animated conversations washed right over him. He was completely tuned out, until he realized that Tidus was talking to him.
"Wakka! Hey man, are you listening?"
"Wha- oh yeah, course, ya." He said, nodding his head vigorously.
"You weren't, were you." Tidus grinned.
"Ah, well.no." Wakka scratched the back of his head with embarrassment.
"Tidus?" Yuna was calling. "Try one of these! They're not bad!"
She tossed him a packet of dry biscuits. Tidus pulled a face as he chewed.
"Yeah. Just like cardboard." He whispered to Wakka, rolling his eyes.
"Oh wowzie! Is that the time!" Rikku was exclaiming in horror. "Hey Yuna, it's already 11:30! The boat docks at 8:00 tomorrow! We don't want to sleep in, and not get off!"
"Hmm?" Yuna replied sleepily. "I suppose so."
Tidus got up and stretched.
"Well, I guess I'll see you all in the morning. C'mon, Yuna."
"Night." Yuna called back, as the couple ascended the stairs, leaving Rikku and Wakka alone.
Wakka followed their lead, and was halfway up the stairs when he heard Rikku call,
"Wait!"
"Huh?" He turned around, to find her giving him a very serious look.
"Is Lulu really, truly alright?" she asked him. "It's just that you're closest to her, so I thought you would know and-"
Wakka gave her a sad smile and continued climbing the stairs.
"Goodnight, Rikku." He called over his shoulder.
Even if Rikku had said nothing, Wakka was determined to check up on Lulu. She had been acting funny recently, and now he knew that it wasn't his imagination. And it wasn't just a woman thing, or else Rikku wouldn't have been so worried. Stopping outside her cabin door, he knocked quietly.
There was no answer.
"Lu?" he called softly.
There was still no answer.
"It's Wakka. I'm coming in, ok?"
He pushed open the unlocked door slowly, and bent his head around the corner.
"Lu?"
The room was dark, and for a moment he thought that she wasn't there. But just before he reached for the light switch, he caught sight of her.
She was fast asleep.
Lulus soft black hair framed her face, and lay in wavy locks across the pillow. Some of it even draped over the edge of the bed causing spiral patterns on the floor. Her features were relaxed and beautifully calm. It was almost like her pale skin glowed in it's own light. She lay on her back, with one hand upturned, resting on the pillow, next to her face. But, the most noticeable change was her eyes. The hair she normally combed over her left eye had been brushed aside, and both her eyes were clearly visible. She had thick black lashes, which fluttered every now and again as she slept.
She looked like an angel.
Wakka could feel his heart beating faster, and the colour rising in his cheeks. She was so incredibly beautiful, that he felt uneasy and oafish in the same company. He moved closer, until he could see the gentle rise and fall of her chest as she breathed.
Wakka sighed in relief. She seemed all right. She was alive, breathing and fast asleep. Maybe he had been worrying too much. Maybe he didn't know her as well as he thought he did. Maybe he should had just let things be. Maybe-
"No."
Wakkas thought stream was interrupted as Lulu slowly began to talk in her sleep.
"No.that's wrong."
Lulu's features tensed up, and she gripped the blankets so tightly that her polished fingernails tore small rips in the fabric.
"Don't." she mumbled shakily, her body beginning to tremble. Wakka watched in horror as she began to thrash around in the bed.
"Please.stop." she called, clutching at the air, while still trembling violently.
Wakka stood frozen, not knowing how to react. She was obviously having a horrible nightmare, and was obviously in a lot of pain. Maybe not physically but mentally. He watched uncertainly, wishing he knew what to do. It was awful to watch, and he felt extremely uncomfortable.
But it broke his heart when she started to cry.
She hugged her knees to her chest, and whimpered softly. He could see tears streaming down her face, and she quietly sobbed into her hands. Every now and then she would make a choking noise in her throat, each time nearly scaring Wakka to death.
If Wakka had been unable to move before, he was completely frozen now. He could only watch as she began to cry louder, her body now shaking. Her trembling arms were covered in sweat.
He couldn't watch anymore. Forcing his body to move, he clamored onto the bed and gently shook her shoulders.
"Lu.wake up. Wake up!" he whispered.
Her eyes snapped open, her red eyes looking directly into his brown ones. She took a few raspy breaths, and sat up suddenly. Wakka fell backwards, so that he was sitting at one end of the bed, she at the other.
They stared at each other in silence, their eyes locked. Lulu looked away first, first looking down, then to the side, as though her brain was trying to process the current situation. Finally, she looked up at him.
"What." she said, her voice still shaking. She took a deep breath and started again, this time with a sterner, more 'Lulu-ish' voice.
"What are you doing here?"
Wakka opened his mouth to explain but no words came out.
Suddenly Lulu's body gave a violent lurch. She covered her mouth with both hands, praying to keep it down. She felt nauseous, and the room was spinning. She took a few deep breaths, and closed her eyes. She retched again, still covering her mouth.
Wakka was giving her a concerned look.
"Lu, maybe you should just-"
He never finished that sentence.
Lulu suddenly swung her legs over the side of the bed and stood up, wobbling a little. Wakka watched nervously, reaching out to catch her if needed. Her legs suddenly buckled, and she dropped down to her knees. She retched again, and then vomited. She tried to suppress it with her hands, but it was no good. She squeezed her eyes shut in shame, hating herself for looking so unstable. But if she had expected Wakka to be clumsy, or un-helpful or ever just plain gob- smacked, she was wrong.
He gently placed one arm around her hip, the other on her shoulder and helped her to her feet.
"It's alright now." he said kindly, doing his best to reassure her. "It's over now. You're safe now."
He helped her to the bathroom, supporting her all the way.
When Lulu had finished cleaning herself up, she took a deep breath and walked out to where Wakka was sitting on her bed, waiting. The moment she walked in, he jumped up and walked over to her.
"Are you alright now?" he asked, full of concern. "I was really worried."
She nodded.
"Thanks for cleaning up." she said, avoiding his gaze.
"No problem. Still, I didn't think that Rikku's and Yuna's food was that bad." He chuckled.
"That's not it." She said coldly.
"I know." Wakka said quietly. "I know."
There was an uncomfortable silence.
"How long were you there for?" Lulu demanded suddenly.
"Ah.erm, well." Wakka stammered, scratching his head. "Well, ya know.um.from the beginning."
There was another uncomfortable silence.
Wakka looked across at his childhood friend. She was looking away. Through the thin fabric of her nightdress he could see the true outline of her figure. She was so delicate, fragile almost. Besides of that, she was extremely thin. Painfully thin. Without her intimidating outfit, or her strong personality mask, she could almost be another person.
Lulu noticed Wakka looking at her. Looking at her body. She also looked down, suddenly self-conscious of what she was wearing. Her nightdress was made of a thin, white material. It wasn't see-through or revealing, but it wasn't exactly like the outfits she would normally wear in public. It came down to mid thigh, and had no sleeves, just thin straps. There was a small amount of lace trimming at the top and bottom. She wasn't going to waste time being embarrassed though.
"Hold on below!" she could hear an unfamiliar voice suddenly calling from above deck.
"Wha-" Wakka yelled in confusion, as the room suddenly threw them backwards. It seemed that the ferry had hit a massive wave, and had almost rolled on its side. Almost as if in slow motion, Wakka could see objects sliding past him, as the room tipped on an angle.
Suddenly, Lulu crashed into him, having lost her balance. He caught her easily, holding onto her wrists to support them both.
"Sorry about that, folks!" The captain called apologetically. "Won't happen again."
"Phew." Wakka said, grinning with relief.
Lulu started to pull away from him, but he didn't let go. Wakka frowned, and tightened his grip on her wrist.
"I knew it!" he growled, holding up her wrist as if it was proof. "You have lost weight."
"Let go!" she snarled, wrenching her hand from his.
"Hey hey! I'm worried about you alright!" Wakka said angrily, raising his voice.
"Shh!" Lulu hissed, gesturing to the other rooms.
"Oh right. Sorry." He apologized, but he still frowned.
"You had better leave now." She said coldly, pointing to the door.
Wakka shook his head.
"I'm not going until I know you're alright."
"Fine! If you're not going, then I'm going to sleep." Lulu said harshly, heading towards the bed.
"Fine with me." He smiled.
"You're still going to stay?" she demanded, turning to face him.
"Yup."
"Fine." Lulu was obviously determined not to lose the argument. She pulled back the blankets and lay down. "Good night."
"Night."
Wakka walked over to the armchair beside the bed and sat down.
"You'll need someone here if it happens again, ya." he told her quietly.
"It never happens more than once a night." Came her muffled reply.
"More than.You mean this is a recurring dream?" he demanded angrily. "And you never told me? How long has it been going on for? No wonder you're losing weight!"
"Long enough." Lulu answered in a tired voice. "I'm going to sleep now."
There was silence for a long time.
"Lu?" Wakka finally asked quietly. "Hey.you're not really asleep, are you?"
He bent over her. She was indeed, sleeping peacefully.
"Oh man." He chuckled to himself, sitting back down in the armchair and resting his hand on the bed.
He heard Lulu sigh peacefully and then roll over so that she was facing him. He felt a soft warmth on his hand, and looked down to see her hand clasped over his.
"Hey, Lu!" he mumbled in amusement, attempting to slide his hand out from under her own.
But she just held on harder.
"C'mon. Don't be silly, ya." He told her quietly, still trying to prise her fingers of his hand. As she tightened her grip, he finally gave up.
"I guess it doesn't hurt to stay like this for a while." he whispered to himself, and slid his fingers through hers.
However, 'for a while' evaporated as he slowly drifted into sleep, their hands still clasped.
******************************** Sorry about the length of the chapter! I kind of got carried away! Waah! I feel really bad for Lulu! But don't worry! Things will get better for her - I promise! ^_^ I've been listening a lot of 'The Brilliant Greens' music lately, I really love them! Also, how cute is that song 'All the Way' from the FFX vocal collection! ^o^ Oh yeah! Speaking of music, the music that kind of inspired this chapter is the song 'Breathing' by Lifehouse, check it out! I think it kind of suits Wakka and Lulu.not necessarily lyric-wise, but the song/tune.sigh~ I love that song. Hmm, maybe this chapter was too angsty/graphic.send me a review, tell me what you think! I'd love to hear!