Author's notes: Yo Yo! Sup ma peeps?

I'm in ghetto mode tonight.

Stupid Neville.

Anyway, I kinda rushed this one…yes, RUSHED!

No mean comments…or I'll burn ya.

Ooo, that was kinda scary. I liked it!

Yeah, here it is. I just didn't care about the whole Halloween part cause Christmas is coming soon and I wanna write a Christmas chapter in time. Ugh, a lot of writing for me in the next two weeks. Good thing I actually like it!

I also added in a little something for Gred and Forge. Lol! Everything for my readers.

Don't worry Venix, Casper isn't really dead…he's just biding his time. Like Tu-Pac. *nod*

And my good friend Harriet pointed out an error…I called Sirius Harry's uncle instead of his godfather. Sorry about that.

Note to self: Get rid of Harriet.

*cough* ONWARD TO THINE STORY OF STRANGENESS!

Chapter 10

It was finally October, and Halloween was a week away. The chilly autumn weather cooled the corridors and the classrooms of the castle considerably, and some students just couldn't take it…

"Harryyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy…I'm cooooooooooold!" Ron whined as they walked down the corridor.

"Really Ron? I had no idea! You've only said it SEVERAL HUNDRED TIMES!" Harry yelled.

"I don't appreciate your sass, young mister," Ron sniffled.

They walked along in silence for a long while before Ron spoke up.

"My nose is cold…and my ears are cold…and my toes are cold…and my tail is cold!" Ron complained.

Suddenly a tall, spidery woman dressed in a strange black and white dress came pelting around the corner. "WHERE ARE THE PUPPIES?"

Ron and Harry stared.

"…excuse me?" Harry raked his eyes over her strange appearance.

The woman looked around confusedly, sniffing once. "Sorry, wrong story…" She then dashed away, disappearing in the early morning mist.

"That's strange," Ron furrowed his eyebrows.

"Meh, I'm used to weird people yelling things at me," Harry shrugged.

"No, not that…why is it foggy in here?" Ron asked.

"…well duh Ron, it sets the mood," Harry rolled his eyes.

"For what? This isn't a graveyard," Ron answered.

Harry explained the reason why fog was in the school…which was some story about candy canes and a large man named Mark…as the two boys hopped down the front staircase and into the Entrance Hall.

"Where are we going anyway?" Ron asked Harry, for Harry is the leader of the group and decides what the other members shall be doing at all times. He also makes them polish his broomstick.

"We're basically wandering around the school in hopes of finding adventure in the form of me saving the world," Harry answered.

"But we ALWAYS do that!" Ron complained.

"DON'T MAKE ME SICK VOLDEMORT ON YOU!" Harry bellowed.

Ron flinched at the name. Ever since last year Harry seemed to enjoy using the fact that Voldemort was back to his own advantage.

…almost as if the Dark Lord was a dog…

DUN NA NA!

"Harry! Ron!" Hermione's voice suddenly broke over their random train of thought.

"HI HERMIONE," Ron answered.

Harry covered his ears. "Ow  Ron! What's your problem?!"

"Sorry, author forgot to take off caps lock," Ron shrugged.

The shadowy, omni-potent author had the grace to look embarrassed.

"You two are weird…" Hermione added.

Ron and Harry were startled…they had forgotten she was there.

"Come help me carve pumpkins!" Hermione squealed happily. "I'm doing it for extra credit!"

"In what class? Knives 101?" Ron shook his head, following Hermione into the Great Hall.

"How'd you know?" Hermione raised a brow. "I thought it was an exclusive class!"

Silence.

It's the vampire need for violence…Ron thought.

"I can read your mind Ron," Hermione glared at him.

Creepy.

They all walked up to the table left of center in the Great Hall, which was usually occupied by the Ravenclaws. This evening the Great Hall was deserted.

"Ok, we can split up the pile and get to work!" Hermione cheered, motioning to the large pile of pumpkins on the table.

"Wait, why are we doing this? Not like we're getting any credit," Harry grumbled.

"Because you both love me and would do anything to help me out?" Hermione grinned.

The both gave her identical 'yeah right' looks.

"…and you get to use big knives!"

The both nodded and started pulling pumpkins off the large pile in the center of the table.

"You know, Halloween came pretty fast…didn't school just start two weeks ago?" Harry pointed out, carving a nose into his pumpkin.

Hermione and Ron ignored this, seeing as they've already been threatened countless times by the author to not point out mistakes.

"I hate carving these things…you always gotta take out all the gunk in it…and it tastes HORRIBLE," Ron grumbled, licking his hand and grimacing.

"Ron…why ARE you eating it?" Harry stared at him with a disgusted expression.

"Well what ELSE am I gonna do with it?" Ron gave Harry a disbelieving look.

"Moron," they both whispered under their breath, turning away from each other.

"I don't know why you two are doing it manually," Hermione rolled her eyes, flicking her wand and adding her seventh finished pumpkin to her pile.

"Well seeing as you're from a muggle family I would think you would enjoy doing this kind of stuff," Ron commented.

 "Oh, so because my parents are muggle I have to enjoy muggle activities?" Hermione growled, advancing towards Ron with reddened eyes…literally.

"Oh not again," Harry sighed, tackling Hermione to the floor and duct taping her lips together.

"You know, the whole vampire thing was sexy at first…but now it's just annoying," Ron sighed, carving the shape of an eye.

Harry was too busy duct taping Hermione's legs to notice that Ron was speaking.

"There, finished," Harry announced, sitting back at his table and cutting out the shape of a mouth.

"Geez kid, could you have done a crappier job on my left eye?" the pumpkin suddenly spoke, causing Harry to jump four feet in the air to one of those funny kazoo sounds.

"Ron…the pumpkin is speaking to me…" Harry squeaked.

"Oh Harry…this is bad. Real bad. Even in the wizarding world it's a strange thing when pumpkins speak to you…" Ron whispered.

Harry looked terrified. This was his second year all over again…except with a pumpkin.

"Naw I'm just messing with you…" Ron grinned. "Halloween pumpkins usually speak once you carve the mouth out…"

Harry decided not to ask.

"So who does a pumpkin have to yell at to get some food around here?"

"Why don't Hermione's pumpkins speak?" Harry asked.

"I would explain it to you…but I don't feel like it…" Ron shrugged.

Harry quirked an eyebrow, shaking his head and throwing his pumpkin onto Hermione's pile. "I'm bored, why are we carving these anyway?"

"I never fully understood that either," Ron looked confused.

"Let's go bring something to life," Harry said, getting to his feet.

"Sounds good, but what about her?"

They both looked at Hermione lying on the floor, struggling to get free.

"Meh, I'm sure she'll be okay," Harry shrugged, walking out of the Great Hall in search of adventure and possibly pie, followed by his faithful sidekick Ron.

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Like most Hogwarts students who are bored out of their minds (especially in fanfiction stories and on message boards), Harry and Ron went outside to stand by the lake and do nothing. Oh the joys of Cola.

"How long do you think it will take Hermione to get out of her bonds and come after us in search of revenge?" Harry asked his plucky red-headed friend.

"Fifteen minutes?" Ron guessed.

"Is that a bet?" Harry asked.

"Harry, betting is wrong…wrong indeed. So is swearing and sexual activity in front of the masses," Ron nodded.

"Those censorship classes are really doing a number on you," Harry pointed out.

"What censorship classes?" Ron did the whole shifty eye thing. "Oh look! The giant squid!"

"You know, I always wondered why this thing is in there. I mean, how did it get here? And what purpose does it serve?"

"God Harry, it's just a nice little addition to the magical atmosphere of the school. You over-analyze everything!" Ron rolled his eyes.

"Whatever," he shrugged, crossing his arms over his chest and staring out at the squid. "Good morning squiddy!"

"Squiddy?" Ron raised a brow.

"Pet name"

"Ahh"

"Bonjour Monsieur Potter!"

Harry looked shocked.

"Ron, is the squid speaking French?"

"Yup," Ron answered.

"The squid can talk? Is this another case of my magical ignorance?" Harry asked.

"Nope, I had no idea either," Ron gaped alongside Harry.

"And I never would've guess it was French," Harry looked impressed.

"I always thought it looked rather Swedish," Ron shrugged.

"Well this is an interesting development," Harry blinked a couple of times.

"J'espère que vous tous les deux tombez dans un grand bol de pudding," the squid bellowed.

"Any idea?" Ron asked.

"None whatsoever," Harry replied.

"Thought so…"

"Enfants d'idiot. Je vous mangerai maintenant!" the squid spoke again.

"This hurts my brain, let's go back inside," Ron rubbed his forehead, the two boys walking back towards the castle.

"Damnez-vous tous les deux! Revenez ici! J'ai faim!" the squid sighed. "Pourquoi doivent-ils toujours fonctionner?"

"Damn French squids," Ron commented as the giant squid could be seen eating a first year Hufflepuff behind their retreating backs. Once again Harry was an inch from death and escaped.

Perhaps Voldemort is the giant squid?

DUN DUN DAA!

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On the way back to the Gryffindor tower, the two boys conversed about how random their day had been so far.

"So many useless events in one day, eh Ron?" Harry commented.

"Yeah…oh well, you can never be bored when you've got LUCKY CHARMS!" Ron held up a box of the breakfast cereal in front of the camera.

"WHY does that thing keep following me around?" Harry raised a brow.

"It's probably Colin's way of being with you at all times," Ron shrugged.

A deep rumbling laugh could be heard from under the floor. Oh Colin, you cheeky little demon boy.

They finally reached the portrait of the fat lady, speaking the password 'let me in you fat bizitch' (McG was being tutored by Neville on ghetto slang), and entering the common room.

When they stepped into the room through the portrait hole they noticed a small crowd gathered around the fire.

"What's going on?" Harry asked no one in particular, Ron craning his neck over the crowd.

"Hey, someone's got a monkey!" Ron exclaimed.

"It's Neville's!" some unknown kid explained excitedly.

"Cool!" Ron pushed kids out of his way in order to get to the monkey, one second year flipping over the back of the couch and onto his face. Ron didn't seem to notice.

Harry walked up to Neville in the center of the now-smaller crowd.

"Neville…you got a monkey? What about Trevor?"

"Yo dawg, ma frog waz mad wack…OLD SCHOOL!"

"But a monkey!?" Harry's eyes were wide. "Where'd you get it?"

"Check it, some dude give it to me fo a sickle," Neville explained.

"Wow…that's strange," Harry replied

"Did he just say 'check it'?" Ron raised a brow.

"It's so CUTE!" Parvati fawned, petting the monkey. No pun intended. "What's his name?"

"Fly arse ghetto monk-ay" Neville answered.

"What? Fly arse ghetto monkey?" Ron blinked.

"No no, monk-AY," Neville corrected.

Harry looked confused. "Why arse? Why not as-"

"-PARAGUS!" Ron bellowed.

Neville gave Harry a knowing look.

"Oh," Harry replied.

"So, when you want to call him, you're going to yell 'come here fly arse ghetto monk-ay!'?" Parvati asked, continuing to pet the monkey. Still no pun intended.

"Word," Neville replied.

The serene, monkey-influenced moment was interrupted by the portrait hole swinging open.

Hermione had entered the building…uh…room.

"Uh oh…" Ron squeaked, hiding behind Harry…but seeing as he's about four inches taller it didn't work out so well.

The boys were relieved to see that Hermione didn't seem angry at all.

"Guys! Guess what!" Hermione grinned.

"What?" Harry and Ron chorused.

"Ginny has a boyfriend!" Hermione laughed, clapping her hands together.

"Ginny…with a boyfriend?!" Ron looked abashed.

"Ron, she had one last year, remember?" Hermione rolled her eyes.

"Yeah, but this is different!" Ron squeaked.

"How?" Harry asked.

"Well…he…she…and they…" Ron stumbled.

"Uh huh…he, she, and they? Sounds plausible…" Harry shrugged.

"Oh Ron, just because you're 16 years old and have no sexual experience whatsoever does not give you the right to pry into your sister's love life!" Hermione scolded.

"SEXUAL…LOVE LIFE…what have you heard!" Ron screeched.

"Ugh, forget it…you need a girlfriend Ron…and maybe some hormones," Hermione grumbled and stalked away.

"Horm-ones…? What are these horm-ones she speaks of?"

Poor Ron. Poor poor Ron.

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Ok, due to the fact that I take forever to write a chapter and need to get Halloween out of the way…I'm skipping forward two weeks in the story!

It is now Halloween.

Enjoy…

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It was Halloween night…as I have already established…and Harry was just getting ready for the big feast. The rest of his dorm was already downstairs, but Harry was running a bit late trying to tame a stubborn cowlick.

"Damn it, I hate my hair," Harry cried, throwing a hissy fit. He threw his brush on the dresser, knocking over the mysterious cigar box he had gotten at the beginning of the year.

Harry suddenly remembered the ghosts' poem, one part of it tugging at the back of his mind.

'Below the wood, you'll find the gold.' Was one line that popped into his head at that moment, his eyebrows furrowing with the strain of thinking with that tiny, tiny brain of his.

The ghosts' voice popped into his head again. 'Below the wood…you'll find the gold.'

Harry looked over at the cigar box sitting on his dresser, thinking.

'I wonder if Ron would take them as a birthday present,' he pondered, stroking his chin.

'Dude…pay attention to the task at hand.' He heard the ghost in his head again, reverting his thoughts back to what was bothering him before.

"Hmmm…what can it mean," He thought out loud.

'Below the friggin wood you'll find friggin gold.' The voice muttered impatiently. Harry still had no idea what it was talking about.

'OPEN YOUR EYES MORON!' It yelled in his ear, getting angry.

Harry just sat there, staring at the box on his dresser.

THE BOX YOU IDIOT! OPEN THE BOX!

"Wait…so…they're golden cigars?" Harry asked this mysterious voice, getting to his feet and walking slowly over towards the box.

OMG I COULD KILL YOU! HOW IS IT YOU SURVIVED THIS LONG?

Harry ignored the voice, reaching out and grabbing hold of the box, lifting the lid. He stared at the cigars lining the bottom, wondering if this was some sort of trick his mind was playing on him…wouldn't be the first time.

'Listen carefully. Below...the...wood...you'll...find...the...gold.' The voice spoke patiently, spacing out its words as if it were speaking to a five year old…or an extremely slow ostrich.

Suddenly, it all clicked in Harry's mind. "I GET IT! THE WOOD! THE GOLD!" Harry gasped, jumping up excitedly.

YES! GOOD! I KNEW you weren't as stupid as you seem!

"It all fits! Below the wood, you'll find the gold!" Harry dropped the box to the floor, running towards his bedroom door.

WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU GOING?!!?

"To find Oliver! It'll take me a while to track him down at Puddlemore, but it'll be worth it if I get gold!!!" Harry swung open the door, grabbing his firebolt and leaping out.

The ghost materialized in the middle of his room, mouth wide open in shock. "WHAT THE F-"

"-RIDAY!" Ron jumped out of the closet where he was hiding, just in case Harry needed his bodyguard. "Wait…Harry! Where are you going? You're going to miss the feast!" Ron, realizing Harry was leaving for a potentially dangerous situation, jumped out of the room after him, carrying his rifle, but not before complaining loudly that he was gonna miss his dinner.

"THIS IS BLOODY RIDICULOUS!" The ghost gaped. "This is the LAST time I offer to help a STUPID little moron," and placing a finger aside of his nose, and nodding his head through the ceiling he rose.

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Sorry for this pointless, unfunny, and completely random chapter. Oh the stress. I promise the next one will be better. Lol. Oh well, needed to add in some plot.

YES! THERE ACTUALLY IS A PLOT! Isn't it remarkable??? Lol.

Nic- You're so bitter towards me. Did I kill your dog or something? Joking, love ya. And thanks for the 100th review! You get a free cheesecake!

Missy- Wow, THE Ms. Critique…reviewing MY story. I am blessed! No I'm not being sarcastic! *shifty*

Venix- Miss ya oh lovely daughter of mine! I'm so lazy, sorry I haven't been on AIM. Judging by how long it takes me to write one chapter you can tell how lazy/busy I am. :)

TheLynx- I love you too! Lol! Don't break your chair…they have feelings too you know. Love your name by the way.

Gred Weasley- Yo yo! Sup dawg? Word up…and all that shizzle. Added in the squid specially for you, lol. Squid today, firecrackers later. Muahaha!

Backsplash007- A fish, a fish, my world for a fish. I really want a fish now. Give it here Malfoy! *random HP quotes*

Forge Weasley- Squiddy is badass. I also added in a monkey for your enjoyment. Any other animals?

Dragonfly-child- Hobbit is a funny word. And they pulled a Ron cause Ron is the shiznit…everyone wants to be like him. Duh.

Cherryblossom7- Wow…I've never been a genius before! Lol. And yes, I love the detective thing. *is given evil eye* *keels over* *no more story*

SIKE

Harriet- WAZZ UP? Lol, I'm so out of the rping loop now. Oh well. Nic is bothering me to make some sort of comeback. Anyway, sorry about the whole uncle/godfather thing. I don't know what I keep thinking he's his uncle. Ugh.

Oh yeah, and if anyone wants to know what the squid was saying, just ask…WHEN YOU REVIEW! REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW!

DANG NABBIT!