Title: "Cassander's Campaign"

Author: Baliansword

Chapter: 9, "The Golden Goblet"

A/N: Thanks to everyone that has been reading. There is a question that was sent to me that I did not directly respond to. Angstman, no, Hephaestion does not have HIV. Rather an illness contracted in India. However, I have to say that is a very interesting idea. I've never seen a fiction where either he or Alexander contracted HIV. But alas, just an illness in India.

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His eyes burned even as he slept. He rolled onto his side, curling as he did so. He gripped the sheets of the bed as he cursed and opened his eyes. The world seemed dim and dark even though it likely was not. Outside he could hear the rain and he watched as the canvas flap of the tent swayed as a shield of heavy rain pelted against it. His lower lip quivered as he pushed himself up. As he did so he heard steps outside of the tent. Reaching under his pillow he wrapped his weak fingers around the cold butt of a blade and then waited. Yet it was only Alexander who entered the tent.

Hephaestion let go of the blade and removed his hand, placing it on his chest as he lay back. Immediately he pushed the pain out of his mind. For Alexander he had to be strong. Watching, Alexander came forward, a golden goblet in his hand. A soft smile crossed his lips as he took a chair and pulled it close to Hephaestion's bed. Sitting, he placed the goblet on the stand next to the bed. He then turned his attention to Hephaestion, his dark eyes scanning over him.

"You're ill," he said quietly, trying to find a way to speak to Hephaestion. If he told him that he knew his illness it would only distress Hephaestion. Not to mention that even now Alexander wanted the diagnosis to be wrong. He wanted to pretend that Hephaestion had a mere cold and would soon recover. He wanted to believe so many things, yet he could not. For he could not lie to himself, especially if this lie would only end in Hephaestion's death anyway, and in the breaking of his heart. Instead he held back his tears and looked at Hephaestion as if he knew nothing. Hephaestion was not blind though. He knew that Alexander knew all the while that he was sick. Many men had caught the same illness as they marched through India. Perhaps he was just getting symptoms of it now.

"And you should go," Hephaestion replied quietly, "before you too catch cold. It will only take me a few days to get well. Then we can have another meeting and we'll finish our plans for Bactra."

Alexander nodded, but he did so with glossy tears in his eyes. He reached out, for the first time unable to be brave, and grasped Hephaestion's hand in his. After all of the things that he had done to him Hephaestion should have pulled away. He should have cursed Alexander and sent him away. But even now his Hephaestion could not hate him and nor could he force him from his tent or heart. Alexander let tears run down his cheeks, leaving streaks of salty pain over his flesh. He drew in a breath and then let it out. His entire body seemed weak suddenly and he wondered if perhaps he was the sicker of the two.

"I'm not going to Bactra," Hephaestion whispered softly then, a smile on his lips even though it was his death he spoke of. He stared at Alexander, cerulean eyes never failing to be kind, and he pushed himself into a sitting position. He then took Alexander's hand again. Running his thumb over the back of Alexander's hand he looked away, down at his lap, and then looked back at Alexander. "I would wish you luck, yet you never need it. The gods favor you, and you alone Alexander, ruler of them all."

"Don't say that," Alexander cried out through his tears as he flung his arms around Hephaestion and held him close to him. He shook terribly. There was one thing in the world that he'd always wanted more than anything. And it was this one thing that kept trying to leave him. Yet this time Alexander did not know what to do. Glancing over at the golden goblet he cursed himself for ever thinking it would be so easy to let him go. The pain would be terrible and Hephaestion would die like all of the others had. Weakened, pain blistering their bodies, blood pouring from the corners of their eyes and mouths, with blindness and fever taking them at the same time. It was something that he'd seen many go through, and Hephaestion had seen it as well, but they'd never feared for themselves until now. Alexander did not wish to watch Hephaestion suffer as the others had. He could not sit by and watch Hephaestion be taken by such an illness, unable to help, and with Cassander back unable to love and hold him. Letting him go should have been easy, but still it was not, even if the venom would take but a few moments to claim his life.

"I won't loose you here," Alexander said as he held him. "I cannot loose you in a world that you never wanted to be a part of. You never wanted to come Phae, and I knew it all along, but without you I couldn't go on. I should have left you in Babylon. I should have left you there with Cassander who would protect you, as I have not. But I was foolish to think that you still loved me and that I could make things better between us. For this I should never be forgiven. But I swear to you that I will not let this world take you from me."

"Say it again," Hephaestion whispered.

"Tell me what to say and I shall say it again and again until you ask me to stop. What is it that you need to hear from me Hephaestion?"

"Whisper my name again as you did."

"Phae," Alexander said again in the same breathless manner. He then again caught the goblet out of the corner of his eye. Hephaestion had seen it too and knew all too well what it was. A slight smile crept to the corner of his lips but he held back from showing emotion. It was not death that Alexander had brought him but rather a release. Within minutes he would be lost to the world of pain and despair. Yet as soon as he glanced over at the goblet Alexander shook his head, tears still flowing from his eyes.

"No," Alexander said shaking his head. Hephaestion had gone to reach for the goblet but Alexander took his hand in his. He'd brought this tempting wine here, and now he was going to deny Hephaestion of it. He did not know which was crueler of him. The fact that he'd brought it. Or the fact that now he would not give Hephaestion the release he'd given to so many others. "You're a fighter Hephaestion. Do not let go so easily."

"It would save you so much grief Alexander," Hephaestion said, a breathless whisper of love and pain at the same time. It was enough, the look in Alexander's eyes, to bring tears to his own. Hephaestion's tears did not fall though. Instead they stopped at the brims of his eyes, ready to fall, but his strength kept them from doing so. Leaving Alexander would be simple at this point, not because he did not love him, but because it would protect him from a week's worth of despair.

"It is wrong of me to deny it from you. Yet I am selfish and cannot let you go. In forcing you to stay I condemn you to pain beyond all reason. But I also give you a chance to fair well." Alexander was holding him again and Hephaestion could feel the pain of Alexander's heart seeping from his body. It was too much pain, more than Hephaestion had ever seen him in before. "I have taken everything from you Hephaestion. I took your life, your trust, your heart, and your company. But now I must take your death from you as well."

"Tell me Alexander," Hephaestion whispered, not wishing to speak any more of this subject. "Was there ever a time when you did not love me and would have let me go with Cassander?"

"No," Alexander said. But he then answered the second part of Hephaestion's question. For even if the other had meant it to be one, there were to. Of course he had never stopped loving him. Yet, because he loved him, he would have let him go with Cassander had it been that necessary. "And yes."

"I am glad that you didn't," Hephaestion said, a tear now falling from his eye. Alexander held him, pressing a soft kiss to his forehead. As he held him Hephaestion put a hand in Alexander's golden hair. He stroked it, wrapping it around his fingers, and remembered the first time he'd ever done so. Alexander was his first love, and even now, he would be his last. But he now needed to ask him something. "Alexander, will you do something for me?"

"Anything."

"Leave me," he whispered, holding Alexander to him as he tried to back away in protest. "Leave me here and promise that you will not come back. I will not let you see me as you had to the others. Please, can you let me die alone, so that I know you will remember me as I was."

"Phae," Alexander said, breaking away from him, his tears heavy now. "You know that you cannot ask something like that of me. I can't leave you Phae. I never have and I never will be able to. Do not ask this of me."

"I have to," Hephaestion replied quietly. "Alexander, you said anything. Please, Alexander, do this one thing for me. I have never asked much of you."

"No," Alexander agreed. "You haven't."

"Then please, for once, do this for me."

There were many things that Alexander had never done in his life. One of the things he was most proud of in the world was Hephaestion. And he had never lied to him with the intention of hurting him. Never had he told him one thing when he was going to do the exact opposite. If he'd ever lied, it was not a lie, but a small tale that would keep Hephaestion from harm. Yet as he nodded and gave Hephaestion his word, he lied to him. He lied to him when Hephaestion was at his weakest. He looked him in the eyes, gave his word, and lied to him. Smiling in a graver way than ever Hephaestion had seen, Alexander rose, and left him as he'd wanted him to do.

Hephaestion watched Alexander go. He was thinking it would be the last that he'd ever seen him. Hephaestion then let tears fall down his cheeks. He then glanced over at the golden goblet that Alexander had failed to take with him. Keeping his promise he reached over and knocked the goblet off of the stand. It fell, the wine spilling onto the floor, and Hephaestion lay back. Closing his eyes, he drifted off to sleep, intent on keeping his vow to Alexander. Little did he know, Alexander would keep no such vows made just now to him.