Title: "Cassander's Campaign"
Author: BalianswordChapter: 11, "Autumn, 328 BC"
A/N: This chapter begins at the court where Alexander murders Cleitus. (However Cleitus is already dead in this fiction, which you should remember from The Persian Campaign. Instead, Alexander has killed another officer that was dear to him in this chapter. Just so everyone knows.) This happened in India, 328 BC, in case the dates are important to some. It is safe to say that up until this point Alexander and Hephaestion have had a waxing and waning relationship since he and Alexander have gotten back together a year prior. I was going to make that a chapter, yet this is Cassander's campaign, so it would not be fair to him. Yet this chapter will go into detail and so forth about what is going on. I hope you enjoy and am looking forward to hearing from you. If I do not respond to you soon, I shall answers anything needed in my next post.
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He sat there with the rest of them. There was a black smoke that filled the air, yet no one could see it, and no one choked from the fumes. They all should have though. It was the thickest smoke Cassander had ever seen. It was all in his head though for there was no smoke, just his idea of it, because that was the emotion that left each and every man around him and lingered into the room. There was silence as if the first to speak would be struck down by lightning. Even had they not been afraid to make a sound their throats were all too dry and now none of them knew what to say. Cassander sat silent amongst them, another reminder of what Alexander's rage could do, the scar's on his thighs illuminated by the faint candlelight. The skin risen and just a bit lighter than the rest, but smooth for the most part, yet he still tried to keep them hidden. Were Alexander to leave the room now he knew what he would say to him. He would not try to find a reason to take blame from him like the others did. For the others were fools. So badly they wanted to go home. They all figured, that perhaps, if they sucked up enough and absolved him of this sin he'd turn and march back to Babylon and then even further home to Macedonia. At least, they hoped all together, that he would let them return to their homes. Cassander was no fool though and knew that as long as there was an end of the world to reach Alexander would be desperate to find it. He would not stop until he saw the waves of the farthest sea imagined or the last speck of dirt that dropped into that sea. If there was no sea perhaps they would just wind up back in Greece, who knew, for the world was not known to them yet. Alexander wanted to be the one to make that knowledge of what lay beyond mapped regions known to all. For what purpose Cassander could not know and could not understand fully. Yet he knew it was a desire of Alexander's and as such he would not let go. Anyone that believed that Alexander would merely turn around and go home was a fool. Cassander knew that many of those fools sat around him now.
There was one that did not sit with him though, nor with the others, but on some pedestal in the middle of things. He sat with his hands folded on his lap, unable to continue like all the rest, but unable to let go like Alexander. Cassander tried not to look at him for each time that he did it was too hard to not think of him as he used to. There had been a time when he'd considered Hephaestion to be his own and now he could no longer think that. Instead he had to look at him and know that he'd lost him, yet given him away gallantly, all at the same time. It wasn't even that, for he truly was never his to possess, but Cassander still desired him with each waking day. He woke each morning, stretching out and hoping to feel him there next to him, but never did. On some nights he would drink to much and for a moment he would see Hephaestion lying next to him, a smile on his face on the verge of laughing, and he'd reach out to him. In the morning's he'd be holding nothing more than a pillow. Letting him go was something that he'd not done, no matter how much others believed it, for even Hephaestion believed it. Cassander had kept him in his heart though and even now looked out for him on the field and in the camp. But most importantly, on a thin cord, he wore the ring that Hephaestion had given him as a token of his love. He may not have him but he still had this and it could never be taken from him. He would sooner die.
Hephaestion sat now in two worlds. In one he was just as vulnerable as all around him were. In the other he was the strongest of them all for he was the only one that had the tenacity to continue by Alexander's side. He was the only one that would stand at Alexander's side and finish what his king, friend, and lover, had set out to do. But he was also one of the men that wanted to leave more than others. It was not because he wanted to return to a family, for if they survived, they surely still would not wish to see him. He wanted to return because in doing so he knew that Alexander would be safe in Babylon, and could rule from there, and would no longer risk his life on these campaigns to the end of the earth. It was hard to tell where he sat now after Pystes death, for Pystes had been a friend to him, as well as a good commander. Cassander looked away though when cerulean eyes lifted. It was often that he stared at Hephaestion, only to look away, and each time Hephaestion could sense Cassander's eyes had lingered upon him. Yet after a few moments he looked away again and stared at his hands, questions lingering in his mind. It was clear that Alexander would not be leaving his confines tonight.
It took a great deal of time before others began to realize what Cassander and Hephaestion had both known. For some odd reason it was easier for them to understand Alexander. Hephaestion because he shared his heart and soul with Alexander, and Cassander because he knew it was best to know your enemy like you knew yourself. Many things about Alexander were like him yet he was better at hiding flaws. Some things were different but others were mutual. All in all Cassander knew him like and open book, the same as Hephaestion.
It ended with Cassander sitting across from Hephaestion, both looking down at their hands, but both at the same time trying to look up at the other. Cassander stood after some time, knowing that there was nothing he could say to draw Hephaestion to him. He stopped at his side though, and he reached out, and with his finger took a lock of Hephaestion hair and pulled it behind his ear. For some odd reason he hated it terribly when Hephaestion let his hair fall over his face like a veil. This simple gesture was all that he did before he left, his lips stuck in a slight frown, unsure of whether he should accept what had happened between them, or do something else. If he messed with things he feared that he'd only drive Hephaestion further away and that was not the outcome that he wanted. He wanted to be near him, to have him, and to hold him. Yet that day was not likely to come again. This he knew then, the first time, just as he knew it now. What they had could never be again.
Cassander slipped silently into his room, shutting the door behind him. It was not until he pulled his clothing off that he froze in front of the mirror. He stared not at himself but at the band around his neck. Reaching up he fingered the ring for a moment, sliding the metal ring over his finger for a moment, before he let it fall against his upper chest again. There was nothing that would ever be able to take that feeling away from him. It was the feeling of want and need, and he knew at one time Hephaestion had felt that way for him, but now it was the other way around. He had fought in the hardest of the battles and done so much more. Yet a single man reduced him to suffering. Yet he closed his eyes and wrapped an arm over his pillow, one that still smelled like Hephaestion. Or at least he thought it did. It could again be his mind playing tricks with him.
Sometime in the night his door opened but he did not hear it. He was too immersed in his dreams. They were memories of Hephaestion, some from that very day. He was viewing his eyes, and every other thing about him that he was in love with, and it was not even entirely physical. He remembered how he was. Just as the sheets were pulled away from the bed Cassander remembered a laugh that Hephaestion had shared with him. Slowly he felt strong arms wrap around him, and he opened his eyes, and stared up at Hephaestion. Without any words of explanation Hephaestion pressed his lips to Cassander's, kissing him deeply, but at the same time with only lust.
Hephaestion moved his kisses to Cassander's neck and the other shifted into a better position. He lifted his back as Hephaestion bit his shoulder playfully. The play was gone quickly though and Hephaestion lifted his head to Cassander's ear. Even before he said a word Cassander knew that he was here to satisfy a lust that had been kept inside of him for too long. But when he whispered into Cassander's ear, asking if he could take him, Cassander only moaned a deep yes. Hephaestion put his arms around Cassander, one at the small of his back, and the other higher. He lifted him and Cassander readied himself for what he knew would come next.
Hephaestion entered him and gasped louder than Cassander did. The pain that he tried to hide was washed away though. Cassander stared up at him, looking as Hephaestion let out a gasp, wishing that he could love Cassander in the ways that they used to. He recognized the look because Cassander wanted the same thing. Upon his stilling Cassander shifted, pushing himself lower on the bed, and lifted his hips slightly. This forced Hephaestion to move inside of him and he opened his eyes. Hephaestion let him go and as Cassander wanted let him take control. Cassander rose and kissed his chest, licking around his nipple, and wrapping his arms around him. He kissed him deeply then, sliding his tongue over Hephaestion's lips, and then into his mouth. The lust and the yearning was there. Hephaestion was already panting and sweat was beading all over his body. Cassander would have later made fun of his lack of stamina if he weren't in the same condition.
Cassander ran his hands over Hephaestion's back, pulling him close, and felt Hephaestion's erection against his own belly. Hephaestion moaned as Cassander reached down and took him in his hand. After taking him in his hand he ran his fingers over him, teasing him with his touches. Teasing him could only last so long though. Cassander needed Hephaestion as much as Hephaestion needed him. It took him a matter of seconds to turn, and Hephaestion wrapped his arms around Cassander. He held Cassander's chest as he entered him again and let out the same breathless gasp. Hephaestion closed his eyes and rested his chin against Cassander's shoulder. Cassander reached back and put his hand on the bare curve of Hephaestion's backside. He pulled him close as Hephaestion thrust. Hephaestion continued, shattering Cassander all the while, several times. It did not take him long enough to loose himself though. He filled Cassander, his warm seed feeling the other, and let a soft moan rest upon Cassander's shoulder as he kissed him there. Cassander, who had let Hephaestion touch him as he satisfied himself, fell back against him. Exhausted, he let Hephaestion hold him close, breathing heavily against him.
Only as they both drew down to the bed did Hephaestion pull away from him. Cassander lay back, not sure what was going to happen next. If this was Hephaestion using him, then he did not mind in the least. He would do the same thing over and over again every night if that was what Hephaestion wanted. Yet if it were something more he would definitely not know what to do. He would love him, still loved him, but did not want to cause further complications in Hephaestion's life. He'd done so before and it would be unfair to do it to him again. Cassander glanced over at Hephaestion before the other lifted himself and looked down at him. His dampened hair fell against Cassander's chest and sent a tingling sensation through Cassander's body. He tried not to move though, only met Hephaestion's cerulean eyes. Hephaestion kissed him lightly before pulling back again and just staring at him. He ran a loving hand through Cassander's damp hair, pushing it away from his face and forehead, and then looked at the cord around his neck.
Hephaestion smiled softly as he fingered the ring. He then pressed a kiss to Cassander's forehead and pulled the cord, breaking it, and then removed his lips. Cassander stared up at him, darker eyes full of worry, but Hephaestion did not look at him. Instead he took the ring and let it fall into his hand. He tossed the cord to the side and then took Cassander's left hand. He raised it with his own and slid the ring onto Cassander's finger. It should have been where his wife placed a ring. Yet Hephaestion knew well enough that for Cassander there would be no other than him. After placing the ring on his finger Hephaestion kissed his knuckle, sucking lightly for a moment, and then looked into Cassander's eyes. There was a silent understanding between them at that moment. Hephaestion kissed Cassander once more, leaving warmth upon his lips, and then rose. He took a robe at the end of the bed and covered himself. With only a single glance back at Cassander, and a warm smile, he left the room.
Cassander watched him go and was not in the least bit saddened. He watched as Hephaestion left and thought only of him. Cassander then looked at the ring on his finger. He raised his hand and let the light of the candle illuminate the golden band. While staring at the ring a shadow of his hand covered his face. He smiled for a moment as he put his hand over his breast, where he felt his heart, which beat only for Hephaestion. Then, with thoughts only of Hephaestion, he blew out the candle and fell into the land of dreams.