Disclaimer: … Already stated in the first chapter…
A/N: This chapter was read through again and changed a little... Not too much, but if you wanna see what was changed, it doesn't show utill about the end of the chapter where I tried to change as much as possible to explain what "time" meant just like I did in that Author's Note chapter. Oh, and before I forget, if any of you guys are interested, I finally got the chance to create my own LJ that explains the progress i'm making on my stories so you guys can check it out to see what is in progress or just to see what the hell I'm doing... (but for some reason, this site won't let me put up a link... go to my username info and the link will be there.)
Chapter Eight: Only A Matter Of Time
It had been odd, at first, for Ed to just succumb to Winry's request to accompany him for the visit to see his mother, but Ed felt that now was a good time as any to allow knew things… Not to mention, he felt compelled to have Winry come along; not compelled by Winry… but by time itself…
He had dodged that subject; the concept of his clinginess, for a while and Ed felt that it was only a matter of time before Winry asked again. When that time came, she would not accept his withdrawal to answer. He'd tell her, but only if she agreed to try and understand his reasoning of doing what he did. He didn't regret it in the least…
"Ed? You okay?" Winry asked. He hadn't noticed that she had taken a quick step in front of him and was now facing him as she walked, staring at him worriedly.
"Yeah… Just thinking…"
"I would have never guessed." Winry said sarcastically. He smiled and stared at her back as she turned on her heel to walk properly. He wouldn't take any day for granted; he'd appreciate everyday he now had back in his world… his home. Winry's footsteps lost their vigor and she started to walk next to him again as they neared the graveyard. Truthfully, she couldn't bare going there on her own; something would constantly cause her to back down from going there alone. She didn't think she could bare standing in front of what was supposed to be a "memory" of her parents, let alone Ed's mother. She knew he'd probably just stand there; he won't shed a tear, won't speak, and won't look away…. Just stare. But that was to be expected.
Ed stopped suddenly and she looked at him curiously. He didn't return her gaze for a long time, but when he did, she wanted to sink through the ground at her feet.
"You don't have to come if you don't want to… It's your choice." he said before taking a step toward the place where the dead slept forever and eternally. She stood momentarily, pondering her doubt or not, then turned and hurried to grab at his sleeve as he walked. She knew it was probably silly take such a small thing and make it a life long decision, but she couldn't necessarily help herself from feeling a bit doubtful for herself.
Ed glanced at her with a sideways glance as she grabbed a firm hold on his sleeve and eventually shrugged it off. His gaze lowered once he reached his mother's stone, and he stopped almost mechanically. Winry stood silently, but even so, he still felt awkward and he wanted to relief his arm from Winry's grasp, but she clung to him like a magnet. It had occurred to him a little late that he didn't have flowers…
There was a sort of respectful sternness in the prospect of their visit and Winry respected this with all her heart, but she felt uneasy in this atmosphere and she wondered if this still silence and sternness was what she had feared and why she had refused in coming here alone. She shifted her weight on her footing as Ed looked down at the grave, and she wanted to take his hand, to reassure him in some ways and maybe for some other reasons that had made themselves known in her heart. But she wouldn't here…
She found that she couldn't stare at his face, she couldn't make eye contact with him because of the thick atmosphere that drifted between them. She was, somehow, afraid of what she might find in his golden stare and she had resisted to meet that gaze.
A faint breeze brushed past her shoulders and she took in a breath as if it would give her a comfort and she stared at the horizon as the sun continued to break it's contact with the mountains in the distance. Ed seemed to find some kind of comfort from the breeze as well for he looked up from the grave and sighed as if finally coming to a decision. Winry turned back to him to see him staring off in the distance as well, but as she stared, she realized he wasn't seeing the scenery at all, just his own thoughts. He felt eyes stare at him and he wanted to look back, but something made him hesitate, and Winry noticed as he struggled to even keep his eyes away from her unwavering gaze.
She didn't understand his sudden relentless to return her gaze and she gave Ed a firm squeeze of his flesh-arm before he blinked and gave her a furtive glance. Every time he visited this place, a new bridle of guilt was set upon his head, making it bow and hang. But he didn't understand what he had to be guilty about now… Al was in flesh again… Wasn't that his goal and hadn't he fulfilled that? He refused to meet her gaze, for she might see it; his guilt.
No matter how many times he'd try to forget and withdraw himself from the memory, the same one played over and over in his mind as he stared at the cold stone that had aged over some years. The time he'd made up his mind to do what no other alchemist had achieved, the forbidden science of human transmutation. Even after all these years, it still made him cringe for it was his idea and his stubborness and youthfull optimism... and his mistake.
"Edward?" he had expected the voice to be Winry's but he quickly whirled around to the source and was immediately taken aback. There stood his brother…But how?
"I suppose he should be on his way by now. You know the mail usually arrives here about a day late…" Winry had said that just earlier and now… Al had aged, he could tell, but what caught his eye was the clothing Al wore and the way Al's hair was pulled back like Ed himself used to… His clothes consisted of black underclothing and a red coat just like Ed's…
Ed's shoulders gave and he let out a shaky sigh before Al dropped his bag that hung over his shoulders. Ed's mouth move to speak, but he found his voice was lost and he felt the corners of his eyes burn from unshed tears as he made a step forward. Al let out a choked laugh of joy before running up the hill where Ed and Winry stood and grasping his brother in a crushing hug. After the initial shock, Ed grasped a hold of his brother's red coat and refused to let go as Al's happy sobs were consumed by Ed's own leather coat. Ed eventually let his own tears fall silently as Winry stood and cried over the scene that now took place in front of her the stern atmosphere forgotten.
oooooooo
"So, Al," Winry said, placing her elbows on her knees as she sat on the couch next to Ed and in front of Al, "What've you been up to?"
"Haven't you been reading my letters?" Al asked incredulously and Winry gave a embarrassed laugh. Ed, at first, was taken aback by the now more mature tone in Al's voice, but had to reassure himself that it had been three years almost since they last seen each other, and Al was now thirteen. He still had that soft tone that he used to, and Ed was glad he hadn't changed too much.
"Y-Yeah… But it just seems different now that you're actually here." she smiled.
"I think the more important question is what's Ed been up to?" he turned to Ed who had just been staring at Al, taking in every moment and reminiscing, "How'd you get back, brother?" Ed's brows flickered a instant and he swallowed down a gasp that had threatened to come when the question came. He gave Al a undecipherable stare until he looked away guiltily at not having the capability to tell him.
"I-I really…" By now, Winry was now staring at him and he stared down at his lap, now unable to find a spot to stare at to avoid their piercing gazes.
"Ed? Tell us, please…?" Winry pleaded in a anxious whisper and he clenched his teeth together, wishing for an escape. But, it was only a matter of time. He had said so himself…
"Well, hello, Alphonse!" everyone turned to see Pinako standing in the doorframe, pipe in her mouth. She took a glance around the room, noticed the intensity of tension in the room, and took a long drag from her pipe before speaking,
"Now what?" Ed had kept his head down as everyone now turned their avid attention on him again. He hated this feeling; that everyone's eyes were on his back and they were breathing down his neck, expecting answers he wasn't ready to give. But…
"Damn it all… I…" he wanted to tell them, but how would they react? Al wouldn't say anything, even if he wanted, and Pinako… he didn't know what to expect from the elder, and that made the front door look even more inviting to run out of.
"Equivalent Exchange, right? Brother, what did you have to give up?" Al asked in a sort of comforting manner. He was trying to ask without sounding harsh or demanding, and Ed knew this, even after all this time.
"Time." he whispered softly and Al knitted his brows together a moment before they relaxed in understanding and he leaned back in his chair, without another word. Truthfully, he was at a loss for words. Winry toggled glances from Ed to Al and back again before Pinako walked up, next to Ed and sighed.
"Was that the only choice? Did you think that was the only option?" she asked monotonously. Ed nodded slowly, his head bowed,
"What else could I give, Pinako? What else was I able to bare to give?" He lifted his auto-mail arm as an example of his inability to give. Winry opened her mouth to ask what Ed had meant after giving a wondering glance around the room. She hated this feeling; that everyone knew what was going on except her.
"What… What are you talking about, 'time'?" Winry asked breathlessly. Al remained silent, not really sure how to justify his brother's actions. Maybe it was his only choice, and who was he to say he had done wrong? Three years off of his life… It made since really. The time he spent… there would be taken from his life so he could come back to his world, and he'd have aged just like he hadn't left at all. But, three years gone… Three precious years. Even if it was only three years, you only lived once.
Ed swallowed before lifting his bowed head and staring at his hands.
"Time, Winry… I spent three years away from this world, and it was only by Equivalent Exchange that to gain three years back, I had to give three years up." Winry still looked at him in a worried bewilderment. She looked at Al, to see if he could possibly explain to her more easily than what Ed was. She opened her mouth again to say something until her jaw stiffened and her breath caught in her breath.
Winry understood now. Ed's clinginess… it wasn't obligation, it was gratitude… Every single day soaked in the same way; precious and significant. "So that's it…?" she breathed, bowing her head.
"Winry…" Ed said tonelessly, not sure what to say next. "I-I really didn't see you complaining… when I literally dropped on your doorstep…" he muttered. She knew that he didn't mean his words harshly from the way he had said it. Winry opened her mouth to say something, but found that there wasn't anything she could offer in words. Al stared at the ceiling, silent and Ed gave him a furtive glance to see what he thought but couldn't read him. Pinako eventually left them to their own thoughts reluctantly. She really didn't understand what went on in that boy's thick skull sometimes…
Al eventually sighed, getting both Winry and Ed's attention, and leaned on his knees, arms crossed over them and stared at Ed unflinchingly. Ed found he couldn't stare at him as long as he had hoped and bowed his head guiltily.
"There's really nothing I can say…" Ed bit his lip, waiting for lecturing words to tumble from his younger sibling, "…other than I'm glad you're back." Ed snapped his head up to stare at a grinning Al. Ed's shoulders sagged and he smiled back at him.
"Yeah… that I am too."
inu-lover-alwayz-n-4eva: Of course that wasn't the last chapter, silly. I still haven't told you guys what the promise was! (giggles mishieviously)
Monkeysme: I'd hoped it wasn't too confusing becuase even in MY head it made me go in circles! Even if you didn't get it, I'm sure that I'll go more in depth some way or another in future chapters.
Black-Angel-001: Well, I didn't go too much into his thoughts because by now, we should all know what he feels at that sort of situation (his mother's grave), but I did include a little bit of something on that part along with the explanation at the end, just to tickle my fancy in his thoughts. ;3 Oh, and don't worry, I had a plan to make a kind of "outing" chapter with everyone having fun.
Gabby the Great: I tend to make that mistake alot in my stories and believe me, it has improved from the begining, I swear! ;3 I do make it a habit to go back and read to make sure I didn't leave out ANYTHING. About the rating, I wasn't sure what the rating should be, considering I usually end up tweeking things after I already have the original done, so as far as the rating goes... It's going to be T (I've already changed it if you haven't noticed). I don't think I'll have anythig too much off of the T rating.
EdwardElric55: The next chpater should be up at least by saturday if the plumber goes by his plans. It's really a hastle and I feel so fidgety when I can't update or anything!
Snwbnny: My updating will continue regularaly (sp) after Saturday, hopefully. ;3
Brickwall847: Good to see you're paying attention but as far as Ed using alchemy without his automail arm... he can still use alchemy, he just has to draw transmutation circles. At least, I don't think that he has to have BOTH arms to use alchemy even with transmutation circles. I'll look into that. The braid: Yeah, I did notice that in the movie, he does have pony-tail, but I liked the braid alot so I just inserted into the story that that's what he has. I was going to let you guys assume that he went back to the braid after coming back but since you mention it, I felt inclinde to clarify. ;3
HealerAriel: The Ed and Winry pairing WILL become apparent eventually, no worries! And I happen to like writing Al's character alot because he's so... I dunno, but his character comes naturally. But I do want to say, that I wanted to mature him up a bit because he IS older now, and has mentally and phycologically matured... well, from his experience in the armor.
Zirra Nova: In a way, I've always thought of Ed as a type to keep secrets. I dunno why, but it just seemed like him. Maybe it's because of his "emotional complex" (I didn't label him that, my brother's friend's sister said that).
DemonBabe322: I tried not to give away too much on the series in case someone who hasn't seen the end and is reading this gets sereis spoilers. But of course, this story is post series, so soemthing had to give in that.
Inu-KagomeFan: Glad that explanation did something for you guys! ;3
C.A.M.E.O.1 and Only: I hope that the concept of Ed giving up time doesn't stump you too much... I tried to explain it and believe me, it's confusing in my own head so don't feel left out! I tried my best to explain...
Hiei44: Thanks for the words! (bows dramatically) I'm trying my best to stay in plot and character and feel free to flame me if I go too far off track!
... I think that's all the reviews... If I left ANYONE out, just tell me and I apologize in advance!