I love all the reviews I have been getting and I like to respond to all of them, but I will not be able to for a few days while I work on chapter 11 (yes 11). PLease still review and I will respond shortly!

Chapter 8

It was day four on desk duty for Olivia and she was bored out of her mind. "I wonder if you can get cabin fever in under an hour?" she muttered opening a manila folder. She began to read about a 'Peeping Tom' who used a tree to see into a house. He apparently went too far out onto a branch causing it to snap. After falling several feet to the ground, the man found himself eye to eye with the family German Shepard, who proceeded to drag the man around the yard by his ankle before trying to bring him in the house through the pet door. The man's one leg made it through but the right didn't. This caused the man to end up with one leg at a 90-degree angle to the other and his genitals caught in between the frame of the pet door and his leg. Just for fun, the family had taken a picture of him in his awkward state. Munch and Fin had put a copy in the file.

Olivia clamped a hand over her mouth to try and stifle her laughter. It was no use. There may have been no sound coming out of her mouth, but her sides were trembling and she had tears in her eyes. "If I don't get back in the field soon, I think I'm going to need a straight jacket."

Elliot walked in a short while later to find Olivia holding her side with one arm and wiping tears away with the other. "Liv, what's wrong, Are you all right?" He kneeled down next to her chair.

"El, I'm fine really." Her eyes sparkled with amusement as she looked up at him.

"Are you…are you laughing." He hadn't seen her like this in a while.

She was finally able to calm herself down, "Yes I am laughing, why?

"Well I wasn't sure when I first walked in. What are you laughing about?"

"Nothing really, I just think I am going stir crazy sitting around here." She handed over the file she had been reading.

Elliot snickered when he held up the photo of the 'Peeping Tom' in obvious pain. "Your right it's definitely funny, but I think your are going stir crazy too. We need to get you back on the streets. When is your doctor's appointment?"

"Today at 11."

"Do you think he'll release you? Are you feeling better." She looked better over the last couple of days.

"I don't see why not. The pain is almost gone. I've been eating. Getting my rest." She wasn't lying. She was sleeping better. The dreams (memories) were fading. No one brought up any more about the sleepwalking incident. All and all she felt like she could tackle anything.

"Good. I'm getting a little bored out there by myself."

"Really? Your bored without me around?" she could tell by the look on his face, that he something more to say.

Elliot grinned like the Cheshire Cat, "Yeah, how is anyone to know what a spectacular detective I am if your not there to witness it."

Olivia shook her head, and laughed.

"What's so funny?" Munch waltzed in the room.

"Elliot trying to convince himself he's and ace detective."

"Maybe we need to get Huang in here to talk to you about your delusions of grandeur, there Stabler."

"Only if you'll talk to him about your paranoia." Elliot retorted.

"Paranoia, you must be talking about Munch." Fin interrupted.

"Hey, just because I'm paranoid doesn't mean that it's not true."

"Hey, Fin, here's the report on the Kensington case." Olivia handed Fin the file she was working on when Elliot arrived.

"You like that. The pooch did our job for us."

"How come this guy just let this dog drag him around the yard?" Chuckled Olivia.

"Well, it seems that Mr. Kensington broke his arm and got the wind knocked out of him in the fall from the tree and was afraid of dogs. He told us that he wouldn't have been out that far but he had forgot his glasses. The dog turned out to be recently retired military, medical division. He'd get sent into dangerous areas to retrieve wounded soldiers. I guess he decided he was still in action. The best guess of the owners is that the dog, drug him around to bring him safely out of a 'mine field' or a heavy fire area. He then brought him into the house to be treated."

"That guy is an idiot." Elliot offered. They were al laughing now.

"Children, do we not have enough work to do." Cragen stood in the doorway of his office.

Fin and Munch scattered to their desks. Elliot began intensely staring at his computer screen. Olivia was still smiling when she walked over to Cragen.

"Something I can do for you Detective?"

"Just a reminder that I have a doctor's appointment at 11."

"You do know whatever he says must be in writing."

"Are you saying that you don't trust me to accurately relay simple message from my doctor?" She looked at him innocently.

Cragen snorted, "In writing detective."

Olivia legs swung nervously against the exam bed as she waited for the doctor to return. "How old are you, five?" she contemplated stilling her legs.

"Okay let's see here." The doctor flipped through her chart. He was a big man in his late fifties, slightly balding and work 'Buddy Holly' type glasses. "How have you been sleeping lately?"

"Good, fine, why?" she felt the nerves jumble in her stomach.

"You look tired."

"Name of the game, you can understand that can't you Doctor Jansen?"

"Yes, I understand, but with the information I received from Doctor Andrews at Mercy leaves me with a few questions."

Olivia bit into her lower lip, "That was a result of some very unusual circumstances."

Jansen looked at her doubtfully, "No nightmares or anything like that?" He caught her uneasiness. "What is it?"

"I…uh…had a couple of bouts of sleep walking. Nothing major though. Nightmares are again part of the game. I see a lot of ugly in my job." She hadn't told anyone about the night after the first incident. Olivia had woken up to find herself curled up in the stairwell several floors up from her own apartment. Fortunately she got back home before anyone noticed.

"Hmm, I see." A long heavy silence fell over the exam room. After what seemed like hour to Olivia he spoke again, "I see no reason that you can't return to work today. We took some more blood and should have those results in a few days, but unless you hear from us everything's fine."

"Sounds good to me, I just need a release to give to my boss."

"I'm not done yet." He said holding up a hand. "You have been coming to me for many years now so I am going to be blunt about this: I was very unimpressed with the report I got from the emergency room. Now before you start, I know your job is hectic and often requires long hours, but that is no reason to neglect your body. You need to eat. You've lost 8 pounds since I saw you last. I want to see that come back. You're too thin. There is no reason to let yourself dehydrate it is very dangerous. More water, less coffee. You need to try and get some more rest. Fatigue will only slow the healing process down. You will need to keep taking the iron until I see you again in three months. Don't miss it. I will also say that if I ever get readings like this again, I will put you in the hospital on forced bed rest. Am I clear."

Olivia didn't dare chance a remark so she just nodded.

Elliot could tell that Olivia was cleared to go back to work before she entered the bullpen. Being on desk duty has a tendency to 'take the wind out of one's sails', but he could see her confident stride and even from a distance he could see a flicker of satisfaction in her eyes. "Welcome back, partner."

Olivia flashed Elliot a dazzling smile but did not stop to talk to him. Instead she breezed over to Cragen's office. She knocked on the door but did not wait for an answer.

"Come in, Detective." He said sarcastically.

"Cleared for return to regular duty, Sir." She causally tossed the papers onto his desk and sat down.

Cragen slipped on his glasses and scrutinized the note scrawled on a prescription pad. "Detective Benson has been cleared to return to her regular duties at work."

"Smart. Very smart." He nodded.

"Excuse me?"

"Not using any here to write the note. Although I'm sure there are laws against stealing prescription pads, so I'll have to write you up on that."

Olivia leaned back in the chair and crossed her arms over her chest. "Go for it."

They stared at each other for a few moments before succumbing to laughter.

"Good to have you back, Olivia, now get out there and…"the phone interrupted him. "Well it looks like you get your first call. There's been a report of an attempted rape, here's the address. Get Stabler and check it out."

"Get your ass moving, we've got a call." Elliot grabbed up his coat and followed Olivia out.

"What do we have?" Elliot pulled into traffic and headed for the address Olivia had given him on the way out of the precinct.

"An attempted rape by a boyfriend according to the report. Vic called it in herself."

Back at the precinct Desk Sergeant Allan Bales scans the room. He notices a young girl wandering around. He's about to ask her where her parents are when she sits down next to an elderly woman with a cane and begins talking to her. Both smile and laugh together.

Bales breathed a sigh of relief. He didn't want to deal with a child out by them self today.

A short while later the little girl approaches Bales, "Excuse me Sir, my Grandma is resting over there but we are supposed to see a Detective Olivia…" Oh no, what was her last name? Megan turned back toward the woman with the cane who smiled and nodded. Elliot had said her name at the hospital. "Olivia…."

"Benson?" He finished for her.

"Yes. Olivia Benson."

"She in the Special Victims Unit. Down that hall and around the corner you'll see it. I think she is out on a call right now though."

"Okay, thank you and where is the bathroom?"

"Down the hall just before the corner." Megan goes back and speaks with the elderly woman, who then nods. The girl smiles and heads for the restroom.

Bales goes back to work failing to notice the woman with the cane get up and leave with an man about the same age without the little girl.

Megan peaks in the SVU squad room. It is almost empty. The two people that are in there have their back to the doorway looking at some board. She silently entered the room scanning the desks for Olivia's. She was lucky hers was in the first two. She looked at a picture of Olivia with her arm around an older woman. Megan wondered if that was her mom. The woman was smiling but there was a cold distant look to her eyes. She had seen that same look in her own mother's eyes.

Before anyone could notice her, Megan crawled under Olivia's desk pulling the chair in to hide herself.

Elliot knocks on the door of an apartment. "Ms. Adams? It's the police. You called us?"

"Please come in, it's open." A voice sounded from the other side of the door.

Elliot and Olivia exchanged confused glances. "Hi, I'm Detective Stabler and this is my partner Detective Benson, you called to report an attempted rape?"

"Oh, yes. My, you got here quickly. Please sit down, I've made some tea." A middle-aged woman motioned to the sofa in front of her.

Olivia took note that the woman's clothes were in perfect order and not a hair seemed out of place. She also noticed the smell of fresh baked cookies in the apartment. The look on her partner's face told her that he noticed the same things.

"Ms. Adams…" he began.

"Oh, please call me Trish, all my friends do." She bounced out of her chair and headed for the kitchen, "I almost forgot about the cookies."

"Okay, Trish, are you the one who called to report an attempted rape?" Nothing that they had come across yet indicated that this woman had been the victim of a violent crime.

"Yes, oh yes, I was very frightened. Terrible, terrible thing." Trish Adams reappeared still wearing the oven mitts she had used to get the cookies out of the oven. Her face had changed from the happy hostess to an exaggerated mask of despair.

"Could you please come and sit back down." Olivia asked, "We need to get some information from you."

"Oh, I'm sorry Detective." She quickly returned to her seat.

"Now can you tell us what happened?" Olivia got out her notebook and pen.

"Well we were just sitting here watching TV, when…"

"Wait, who's we?" Elliot interrupted.

"Randy, Randy Rainer, my boyfriend."

"You boyfriend is the one who attacked you?"

"Where does Randy live?"

"Here with me."

Olivia shook her head, "Okay, Trish please continue."

"Well we were watching TV when we started to kiss. I was okay with that, but then things started to go a little farther. I told him no, I wasn't ready."

"Ready, what do you mean, ready?"

"Well you know to go that far."

"To have sex with him?"

"Yeah. I just wasn't ready, but he wouldn't stop." She snuffled but no tears fell. "He kept pawing at me, grabbing at my clothes. Finally I was able to shove him off, then he ran out of the apartment."

Stabler scanned the apartment, "This is a one bedroom correct?"

"Yes."

"Where does Randy sleep?"

"In the bedroom."

"Where do you sleep?" Olivia tag teamed.

"In the bedroom."

"And you have never had sex with him?"

"No!"

Elliot held up an 8'X10" picture frame, "Is this a picture of you and Randy?"

"Yes." Trish Adams could sense that she was losing her audience.

"Big, guy, what is he about 6'2"?"

"6'5""

"6'5", and what about 250?"

"Uh huh."

Olivia took over the next question, "And you're about 5'3"?"

She nodded.

"About maybe 120?"

"Yes."

"Quite a size difference, how were you able to get him off of you?"

"I'm not sure, I just did?"

"Did you change your clothes after it happened?"

"No these are the same clothes I was wearing."

"Freshen you make-up or hair?"

"No, I had just been attacked why would I do that?"

Elliot joined back in, "Where did the attack occur?"

"Here, in the living room, on the couch you are sitting on?" Crocodile tears began to flow, "I though you were supposed to be helpful and kind. I'm a victim here."

"Well, I have to be perfectly honest with you, Ms. Adams, you story is just not adding up."

"I don't know what you mean."

"Well for starters there your appearance. You say you were involved in an altercation with a man better that twice your size and there is not a hair out of place, you clothing isn't even wrinkled."

"Secondly, you say the attack occurred here in the living room, but nothing has been overturned, pictures are still standing and I don't know of many victims who would leave there door unlocked after an attempted rape."

Olivia paused allowing Elliot to jump in. It was their routine fine tuned after years of working together. "Or fix tea and bake cookies."

The panic began to show in Trish's eyes, "Well maybe I just react differently to stress."

"Okay we'll give you that, but that still doesn't explain the living room and your appearance." Elliot offered his best patronizing smile.

"Well…I…uh…" she was squirming in her seat when the front door opened.

"Trish, honey I bought you some flow…" The large man from the picture stared at the detectives. "Who are you?"

"Are those for me Randy? They're beautiful." She sprang up from the couch enveloping the man in a hug.

Olivia rubbed her temples in frustration. "Sir, were detectives from the Special Victim's unit. We're here following a complaint of attempted rape."

"Rape? You called the cops and told them I tried to rape you because I didn't have sex with you?"

"Don't be mad Randy! You hurt my feelings; I thought you didn't find me attractive anymore. I was angry." Trish pleaded.

Randy glared for several moments, then his face softened into a smile, "You know I could never stay made at you, baby."

Elliot had had enough. They had just wasted an hour for a lover's spat, "You know, filing a false police report is a crime."

"Oh, no, I don't want to go to jail, Randy, please help me."

"Officer…"

"It's Detective Stabler."

"I'm sorry, I know you've wasted your time here, but is there anyway that we can work this out. She's really a good person she's just insecure. It was my fault really. I swear it will never happen again."

Elliot looked over at Olivia who just shook her head. "All right but maybe you two should think about counseling."

"Oh course, we'll check into it."

When they got onto the elevator Olivia laid her head back against the wall and sighed. She heard Elliot begin to snicker.

"Elliot this is not funny, that woman is seriously disturbed."

"Yeah, it is." He laughed. "How many times is it the woman who's pissed of because the man won't put out?"

She looked at him for a few moments. His blue eyes sparkled mischievously, "You right it is."

A couple waiting for the elevator eyed the two detectives suspiciously as they left giggling. "Welcome back partner." Elliot patted her shoulder affectionately. It was kind of nice that her first case back wasn't serious.

They had just pulled into a coffee shop when Elliot's cell phone rang, "Stabler."

"Mrs. Gilbert, yes I remember you. No, I'm sorry I haven't." Elliot face grew concerned as the conversation continued. After several minutes of uh huh's Elliot promised "Yes, I will call you if I hear from her. I'm very sorry."

"Is everything all right? Is it one of your kids?"

"No, it was Jeannine Gilbert, Megan's grandmother." Olivia had to think for a moment. Her memories from that day were cloudy at best.

"Megan, the little girl with the drunk mother?"

"Yeah, she's missing."

"Did her mother take her?"

"No, her mother is still in jail. They think Megan ran away. Some of her things are missing."

"Have they notified their local police?"

"Uh huh, they called from their local precinct. They thought that we might have heard from her."

"Why would we have heard from her?"

"Apparently all she does is talk about you."

"Me? El, I was with the girl for ten minutes."

He fidgeted slightly before continuing, "Megan overheard Cap and I talking at the hospital."

"And…?"

"Well I might have mentioned something about your…uh…past and how similar it was to Megan's." Sensing her tense up he waited for the explosion.

"You talked about that, why?" she was more embarrassed that angry.

He knew if he told her the real reason that they were talking about it she would come unglued. Olivia unglued was not something he wanted, "Cap was wondering why the girl seemed so attached to you after such a short time. I said I thought it might be because she could tell you two had similar lives. That you understood her." Once he thought about it, it really wasn't a lie. Megan had been possessive of Olivia from the moment she got hurt. He had to convince the paramedics to let them ride along so that Megan would let them take Olivia.

To Elliot's surprise she accepted his explanation without any fuss, however she was very quiet on the ride back to the precinct.

Elliot parked the Sedan but did not make a move to exit the vehicle, "Something wrong Liv?"

She appeared to be intensely studying her hands, "I was just thinking about Megan."

"About why she ran away?"

"No, I think I understand that. It's got to be quite a change for her. Everything's different now." Most of Olivia's memories of that day were fuzzy or just snippets except for Megan. She could recall the deeply troubled look in her eyes. The way her voice sounded when she said the she had hurt her mom. The torn fabric of her nightshirt and the deep red stains of blood surrounding those holes. It was these visions that haunted her nights as of late.

"Yeah, but it's a good kind of different. She doesn't have to worry about anything, She can just be a kid."

"That's just it El, she's taken care of her mother for so long. She's going to have to learn how to be a child, how to react to things differently. I bet it's pretty overwhelming."

"I never thought about it that way, but your right, I bet she is pretty overwhelmed." He could see sadness clouding her eyes making them almost black and found himself wishing that he could give Olivia the childhood he knew she never had.

"Hey, Benson, how was your first case back?" asked Munch.

"A joke, a very bad joke."

"How's that?" Cragen stepped out of his office.

Elliot dropped heavily into his chair, "First when we got there she says that the door is unlocked.

"A rape victim leaving a door unlocked?" Fin's curiosity piqued.

"Then when we got in, she was baking cookies." Olivia perched on the corner of Elliot's desk.

"Cookies?" Cragen groaned. He had an idea where this was headed.

"She looked like she had just stepped out of the beauty salon." Olivia said rolling her eyes.

"Not to mention, that the living room where the 'attack' occurred was spotless, not a picture over turned, not a cushion out of place."

"Or the boyfriend she fought off. I'm pretty sure that Elliot would have had a hard time taking him. The man was a wall with eyes."

Elliot's expression fell into a pout, "I could've taken him."

"Oooh, that one is going to cost you Benson." Fin laughed.

"Sorry partner, I didn't mean to imply that you're lacking in any way." Olivia apologized, but her tone clearly mocked him.

"Hmph, see if I ever get in between you and some perp you've pissed off."

"Oh you know you're my hero." She batted her eyelashes at him as she sat down at her own desk.

"Oh yeah, I can see that."

"Children…" Cragen chided.

"Sorry Cap," Elliot cleared his throat, "Turns out that our 'Vic' was pissed off at said boyfriend for not putting out when she wanted."

"So she tried to file a rape charge on the dude?" Fin was incredulous. "That's not right."

The banter was interrupted when Olivia suddenly jumped out of her chair, sending it sailing into the wall behind her, "Shit! Something just grabbed my leg."

She bent down to look under her desk when Megan Gilbert crawled out and flung herself into Olivia's arms. "Livvy, I'm sorry I scared you. I was waiting and I guess I fell asleep. I just touched you so you'd know I was there."

"It's okay sweetie," Olivia's legs were still trembling. "How did you get here? Why are you here?"

"I took some buses to get here. I had to see you. I kept asking Grandma and Grandpa to bring me here to see you, but they kept saying that I had to wait until you were felling better."

"Your Grandparents are worried sick. They called here looking for you."

Megan buried her head in Olivia's shoulder and began to cry. "Your mad at me aren't you?"

"Honey, I'm not mad. I'm just worried about you. You could have gotten hurt going all that way by yourself and nobody would have known."

"I didn't want to worry anyone, it's just that..."

"That what honey?"

"I'm worried about Mommy. I want to see her. Grandma and Grandpa say I shouldn't worry, that I'm safe now. They say I'm lucky that you guys found them because next time Mommy could kill me. But she wouldn't do that. She was just upset, that's all. I just want Mommy to come home."

Cragen cleared his throat. "Um…Olivia why don't you take Megan upstairs and talk. We'll notify the grandparents."

"Can you see if they will give me a little time? I think that she could use some time before she goes back."

"Understood. We'll do the best that we can."

She took Megan upstairs to a conference type room. It was a little bit bigger that an interrogation room with a long table with chairs, a sofa and a recliner. Olivia took a seat at one end of the couch and patted the cushion next to her, but Megan crawled into her lap instead.

"When is my Mommy going to come home?" Tears shined in her eyes.

"Sweetie, your Mommy won't be home for a while. She did a bad thing and she has to talk to a judge about it."

"But who's taking care of her. She won't even eat unless someone fixes it for her. What about when she's drinking? Who's going to make sure that she doesn't choke when she gets sick?"

Olivia felt like ice water had just been poured over her head. How many nights had she sat up making sure that her mother stayed laying on her side so she wouldn't choke on her own vomit. "First of all, the place you Mommy is at doesn't allow drinking, so you don't have to worry about that. Secondly, she gets three meals a day brought to her. Lastly it's the job of the people that work in the jails to take care of the people in there."

"What's the judge going to do?"

"He or she will decide how much time your mother will spend in jail for what she did."

"But it was my fault, I'm the one who broke the bottle, then I hurt her." She started to cry again.

Olivia wrapped arms tightly around the young girl; "It was never your fault. Never."

"You don't understand, I hurt her; I meant to hurt her."

Elliot paused outside the partially open door holding two cans of pop. He silently waged a battle against respecting Olivia's need for privacy in this matter and getting some more information about her past. He finally decided that her need for privacy was out weighed by his need to help her, and knowing more would increase his ability to help.

"I do understand Megan."

"Did you hurt your mommy too?"

Olivia bit into her bottom lip, "Yeah sweetie, I did. I was older than you are now."

"How old?"

"I was sixteen. A guy I had been seeing asked me to marry him and I said yes. When I told my mom she got really angry. She dropped her bottle and picked up the broken end and came at me."

Megan let out a loud 'gasp' and her hand flew up to her mouth. "Your Mommy did that too? What did you do?"

"I kicked her, twice. The second time she fell against the wall and slid down. I ran out the door and found someone to help me."

"Was it Simone? She said she has known you for a long time."

"Yeah it was Simone."

"She's going to help me too," Megan played with a lock of Olivia's hair "But I don't think I need help anymore. Now that Mommy knows that I fight back she won't come after me anymore, right Livvy?"

A few stray tears slid down Olivia's cheek, "No Sweetie, everything is not going to be all right. You mom is sick and needs help. She will keep doing things like this until she get some help."

"Your Mommy stopped after you hurt her, didn't she?" she sobbed.

"No, she didn't stop after that."

"Not even for a while?" Megan laid her head on Olivia's shoulder while still fidgeting with the lock of hair.

"Less than a week." her voice cracked with emotion.

"What did she do?"

"Oh, honey, I really don't think you need to hear this."

Megan turned Olivia's face toward her own, her voice quietly pleading, "Please Livvy, I need to know how bad it was."

Olivia closed her eyes in an attempt to reign in her emotions, "All right."

Elliot wasn't sure her was up to hearing anymore, but he stayed for Olivia's sake. He needed to know how to help her.

Serena Benson never tried to press charges against her daughter for the assault because she knew that her own actions may be called into question also, but she never forgave her either.

When Olivia returned home she could feel her mother's anger raging just under the surface. Serena kept her distance for a while, but the verbal assaults never stopped and in fact became more vicious and frequent.

Five days after she returned Olivia was walking to school when she realized she had started her period. She quickly ran home to clean up and change. Racing into the apartment she dropped her books on the floor by the front door.

She had no reason to suspect anyone was home until her mother came storming out of her bedroom, "What the hell are you doing home?"

"What…what are you doing home?" she had assumed her mother would have gone to work from where ever she had ended up the previous night.

Serena shoved her daughter against the wall, "Don't you back talk me! What are you doing home?"

Olivia could still smell the thick stench of vodka and cigarettes. She must have been up all night drinking, "I started my period, I need to change and stuff."

"Well you little whore, I guess the world can rest easy for another month. God only knows what kind of beast that you'd give birth to."

"Whatever." Olivia rolled her eyes and started to walk away when she was hit from behind, knocking her onto the hall carpet. She quickly jumped back up turning toward her mother.

"What are you going to do? Kick me again? Maybe this time you just want to do it right and kill me." Serena taunted. She was testing the waters. Trying to get her ironfist control back.

Olivia could not bring herself to retaliate; she had become too afraid of the emotion that drove her to 'attack' her mother a few days ago. After all Serena had been saddled with a child conceived in violence, and with this child she had to look at the eyes of her attacker daily. "I'm going to change." She did not see the smug look of triumph on her mother's face.

She cleaned up, changed her clothes and allowed herself a brief, silent cry before heading back downstairs. She was just about to head out the door when her stomach growled. She scanned the downstairs for any signs of Serena.

She quietly snuck to the kitchen and fixed herself a bowl of tomato soup hoping it would settle her agitated stomach.

Olivia only managed to get a few bites down before a voice thundered from behind her, "What are you still doing here? Why aren't you at school? You don't have anything else going for you, so you better get an education. There's no man that'll stay with you once he finds out what your father was."

"I was just grabbing a little something to settle my stomach."

Before she knew what was happening Serena grabbed the bowl off the table and poured the hot soup over her daughter's head, "There's your soup, now get to school!" She yanked Olivia off the chair and pushed her towards the front door."

"Mom what are you doing? I need to change again."

"I told you to get to school, " She pushed her out the front door, "and if
I find out that you didn't go, there is going to be hell to pay!"

Elliot wasn't sure what need was stronger at the moment, the need to put his fist through some solid object or the need to throw up. How could anybody live through something like that and still be a caring compassionate person? That was more that he could process at the moment.

He started to head back downstairs until Megan's next question froze him in his tracks. "How old were you when she quit hurting you?"

Olivia could no longer hold back her tears, "No, Megan, please."

The young girl turned so that she was facing her, cupping Olivia's face in her small hands, "How old, Livvy?"

"She stopped the day she died. That was 6 years ago."

"Oh my God." Elliot groaned. He promptly clamped his hand over his mouth, hoping that he had not been heard.

"Why, why would she do that? You were grown up." Megan bawled.

"She didn't like the job I had chosen."

"At a police girl."

"No here, where I help people who have been raped." She knew from her own experience that the little girl knew what rape was.

"But your helping people like her and my mommy."

"I don't know why she hated it so much, but we fought about it all the time. Three days before she died, I went over to her house for dinner. She was already falling down drunk when I got there, but she was still trying to make dinner. I told her to forget it, that I would call and have something delivered. We argued about it for a while then I got called into work. That set her off. She swung the frying pan and hit me in the arm. It hurt so bad. For a few minutes I was sure it was broken. She was screaming about my job, how it was going to be the death of me. She said that no matter how many victims I helped that it would never erase who I was, who my father was. I just left. Three days later she was gone."

Elliot felt a fresh wave of nausea hit as he remembered the night she had showed up at a scene, pale and favoring her left arm. He had asked her what happened. She told him that she had slipped on her bathroom floor and fell against the sink. He also remembered on rare occasions when she'd wear short sleeve shirts seeing some bruises, never thinking twice about it.

"Livvy, no matter what I do, my mommy is never going to love me is she?" Megan tightly wrapped her arms around Olivia's neck and buried her face in her chest.

"Not as long as she is drinking. It won't let her think of anything else. That's why she needs to spend some time away. They put her through classes to help her deal with what happened to her and how to quite drinking."

"What am I going to do?" she broke into a fresh round of tears.

Olivia gently stroked the girl's hair. "You going to stay with your grandparents and write your mother telling her how important it is that she does everything she is supposed to so she can see you again. Then you going to go to school and make friends. Maybe you'll do sports or join clubs. You're going to have slumber parties and go to your friends' birthdays. You are going to learn how to be a little girl again. If your mother quits drinking and is a part of your life, great, if not, it's not your fault and you have to move on. She has taken enough away from you. You deserve to be happy."

"I love you, Livvy." Megan said through hitching sobs. Soon the sobs quieted and she fell asleep in Olivia's arms."