She bit her lip in concentration as to not let the tears escape. Quietly, "I.." Softly, "..I understand.."
Robin looked at her form, she seemed so strong in battle, so confident of herself. But as she stood in front of him now, her head low and her hands clasped together, she seemed so.. fragile. Was she always like this..?
He felt a pang of guilt, should he reach out to her? Comfort her? Offer her words of promise? That would encourage her further? Hadn't he broken her so much already? Unconsciously, he lifted his arm slightly, almost to reach out to her, but stopped himself and brought his arm back down.
She felt her vision blur, why was she still standing here? He already gave his answer, he already.. rejected her. No, she shouldn't think like that. It was true what he said.. it's just.. for the safety of the team..
A whisper, "..I'm sorry." Almost regrettable. She looked up to find him looking down, his face unreadable, but his voice was so utterly sad. Her eyes trailed from his face to his hands, which were turned into trembling fists as his sides.
She brought her eyes back to his face and gave a small smile. Trying very hard not to give much eye movements less her tears run away. Her voice came out raw at first, "It's for the sake of the team.. I.. understand." She paused, and took a step forward, laying her hand ontop of his trembling first, "Don't apologize."
He felt her touch and couldn't help but become angry. Not at her. Not at himself. Not at the situation. He didn't know. Only felt the sudden rush of hatred and frustration. He gritted his teeth as he tried to speak, "No. It shouldn't be like this."
She inhaled a quick intake of breath at his sudden anger, was he mad at her? Her eyes wandered at his mask.. If only she could see, her eyes went to their joined hands. She cautiusly pulled back her hand but only inches away, her fingers trembling, wanting to hold again. His hand trembled as released his fist and closed it, doing this several times.
A low voice, almost.. a growl, "We should be able.." A pause, she looked at him, she couldn't tell if he was looking at her, but he continued, "..I want to.." He couldn't find the words. His hands relaxed as his shoulder slumped. "..Distraction.."
She wouldn't have heard what he had said last if she wasn't standing barely a foot away. She thought of what he had just said, of what he had said earlier. Was it so difficult? Has the answer been there in front of them the entire time?
They've been a team. Always a team. Only a team. How dare she think she could have more than that?
A desperate chuckle filled the air.
Robin looked up surpised to find her stepping back, her head back, giving a small laugh.
She brought her head back down and grinned, maybe not happily, not sadly, but.. something different. Her tears rolled down her cheeks as she looked at him. "How silly of me to ask of you. Think nothing of it, please."
He didn't notice her moving until she was beside him, their shoulders almost touching. Robin turned his head to look at her, but her eyes were focused ahead, her smile gone.
She had paused in her step.
Robin opened his mouth, only to leave it hanging open as she began to move her lips. He stared at the side of her face. She looked otherworldly. As if she was just out of his reach. Why did he refuse her? Why couldn't he hold her in his arms and tell the world to leave them alone? Why couldn't he.. love her?
What she said next, he would have never figured. Was it.. a comment of bitterness? Of hope? Comfort? Warning? Oh, if only he could find out.. If only he could ask her. But the moment her shoulder touched his, the moment her eyes would no longer look at him that night, the moment the words left her lips.. he knew; He knew he could never speak of this.
She paused as her lips parted, he could not know her expression, confusion, pain, regret?
"..Think of the team."
And then she was gone, and he was left alone