DISCLAIMER- No no, no autographs please. I am not the genius behind Final Fantasy VIII! I honestly don't!

Author's notes- I am soo sorry for the delay. Not only have I been moving to another town, but then the computer didn't want to work. Its a really old computer and I'm too poor to fix it. Anyways, thanks to everyone that has taken the time to read my stuff, I promise to have my shout outs in the next chapter. And again, my apologies.

Breaking Point

The sea pummeled the barge as it approached the coastline. Although it wasn't unusual for one of the large shipping barges to come near the coast, everyone in Dollet knew what had happened. By word of mouth, news of Nigel Roe's death had spread from Fisherman's Horizon back to Dollet before his wife, Sarah Roe, had even been informed. The normally prosperous art community was taken aback by the realization that although an Estharian attack was no longer a threat, a Galbadian one was. And so Nigel's shipping barge returned early.

Awaiting the haggard crew on the sandy beach, a few dozen silent individuals, all clad in black, stood silently. None moved nor spoke. A low haze drifted down across the harbor, engulfing the people and the barge in a dense fog.

On the beach, a boy stared angrily up at the ominous cloud cover. Standing just beyond the reaches of the waves his gaze fell to the dark, indistinct outline of the ship. The air smelled of rain and held a thick moisture that felt suffocating despite the high winds that whipped at his trousers and his hair. A thin delicate hand rested on his shoulder. He tensed at the contact and looked over at it. Her fingers were so thing, almost bone-like with long nails.

"That's his ship," She spoke softly in his ear.

"I know Mama," He answered. "I miss him."

"Already? Nida dear, he's been gone for up to four months before. Its only been a few weeks."

"But this time he ain't comin' home Mama," A little girl whimpered.

"He's coming home one last time Ami darling," Sarah removed her hand from Nida's shoulder and picked up her daughter.

"I want Papa," Amira cried. Beside them, Nida stared silently as the large ship came to a halt and a smaller sea vessel was lowered into the water. His cheeks and eyes began to burn as he held back the tears. There were four men on the boat. He knew them all well. His entire face began to burn as the hot tears streaked down his face. He knew all to well what they had with them.

The sky was growing increasingly darker as the men approached. A few men waded out into the water and helped the four seamen carry a coffin to the shore. Beside him, Amira began to cry even more onto her mother's shoulder. He watched Sarah hold Ami tight as she stared solemnly at the coffin. Nida took a step back and wrapped an arm around Sarah's waist. He buried his face in the material of her dress.

A few people down the beach from him began whispering amongst themselves while occasionally looking in his family's direction. The weight of their gazes made him nervous. Turning back to Sarah he tugged at her dress.

"Mama why're they starin' at us?"

"Because they're uppity and believe that I won't be able to support my family without your father," She answered bluntly as she cast the ladies a contemptful look. Nida looked over at the ladies and then at Sarah in confusion.

"You mean our family right," He said as he stepped a little closer to her side.

"You me and Ami, all of us dear," She answered as she watched the coffin get loaded onto a truck. He looked up at his now quiet little sister and then back out at the waves. His eyes followed them until they came to rest on the rusted barge. He stared at the large vessel that was beginning to become shrouded in darkness. He focused on the bow and stern light as he sat numbly in the sand. "Nida we're leaving," Sarah said as she began walking off. He stared silently at the ship that had, for as long as he could remember, always carried off and brought back his father. "Nida," Sarah spoke. "Are you listening to me? Don't make me look like a fool in front of all these people. Nida!"

"Nida! Hello? Earth to Nida," Xu playfully waved her hand in front of his face. He jumped back, startled from his thoughts. He looked out at the ship approaching Balamb Garden and then back at Xu.

"Huh?" He asked as he watched the ship's bow light grow nearer. .

She laughed and shook her head. "I was asking if you enjoyed the ball last weekend. You dance pretty well."

"Oh," He said softly as he looked down to the floor and then out to the water. "It was eminent."

She raised an eyebrow as she leaned against the control panel. "It was what?"

He smiled faintly. "It means distinguished, glorious or grand."

"Whoa," She whistled. "Someone had an awful good night."

He redirected his attention to the ship approaching them. "What kind of ship is that anyway?" He asked, fearing he already knew the answer.

"All I know is its Estharian," She answered. "Why we couldn't just wait for them to meet us at Dollet is beyond me." Xu checked around to be sure no intercoms were on as she leaned towards Nida. "I haven't heard anything official, but I think things are finally getting ready to fall through with Fisherman's Horizon. I heard the Commander talked to his father and asked for some engineers immediately." Nida's face seemed to fall as his gaze fell down to the panel before him.

"That explains why I was called at 22:50 to pilot Garden a quarter of the way around the world," Xu wasn't sure but she thought she picked up just a touch of sarcasm in his voice.

"You okay?" She looked him over.

"I'm fine," He answered quickly as he crossed his arms across his chest and stared at the ship below them.

"No you're not," She said softly as she looked out over the dark water as well.

"I'm just tired."

"We both are," She answered as she let her hands fall to her sides. "Is this about the engineering position?"

"How many times have you been so close to having something you really wanted and then had it ripped away?"

She fell silent.

Behind them, the lift hummed as an officer came into view. "The Commander sent me to relieve you both of your duties. Get some rest, neither of you are to report back to duty until Saturday at 09:00."

"That gives us two days off," Xu looked at her fellow officer.

"I'm just the messenger," The blonde girl shrugged.

"Believe me I'm not complaining," Xu smiled. "Come on Nida, we're outta here!" She exclaimed as she hopped onto the ramp. He stared a few more moments at the ship below before following her.

The elevator had never felt so small as he stood there next to Xu. Neither of them spoke as they watched the first floor slowly approach them. As the doors slid open, Xu grabbed his arm. He stared back into her dark brown eyes.

"I know you're not taking the news of these engineers well but you just can't let it get to you," She protested.

"I'm fine," He insisted as he looked down at where her hand had a hold of his forearm.

"No you're not." He stared at her questioningly. "I worry about you," She confessed. "Sometimes you seem worse than Squall used to be. You're so withdrawn."

"Its because I choose to be," He said as he slowly pulled his arm from her grip. "Look, you're my best friend. If I feel like talking you'll know." She let go and stared at him in surprise. Without another word, he trotted down the steps and turned towards the dormitory wing.

"Get some rest," She called after him. He hurried on until she was out of view. He then allowed himself to fall against the wall beside his door. He stared up at the ceiling and closed his eyes.

'There's always something standing between me and my dreams,' He thought bitterly to himself as he slid his card key into the lock. 'That'll change someday. I've suffered seventeen years, I can withstand a few more.' As the door hissed open, he quickly stepped inside and locked it. He took a deep breath as he looked around at the bare walls of his room. There was nothing, except his works that he kept carefully stashed under his bed and in his dresser. The room around him, although cold was beginning to feel unbearably hot. Tearing off his jacket, he let it fall carelessly to the floor below. He pulled off his belt as he stumbled into the bathroom and turned on the water in the sink. His heart was racing as his face began to burn. Despite his attempts to cool his cheeks, they still burned. Allowing himself to fall back against the bathroom wall, he pulled his legs up to his chest and began crying. He wiped at his watery eyes with his palms and then paused at the marks on his wrists. Without a second thought, he methodically walked into the main room and pulled a small blade from in-between his mattress and box spring.

His whole body shook as he walked back into the bathroom and then slowly brought the blade's edge down along his left arm. He choked out a sob as he put a little force behind the blade, breaking the skin. It stung, causing him to drop the weapon in the bathroom sink. Once again, he fell back against the wall and just stared at the blood that slowly ran down his arm. He leaned forward and slowly rocked his body as he waited for the pain to subside.

"I hate this," He said through grintted teeth. "I hate this all..." A swift knock startled him from his preoccupation. He stared at the door and then clumsily stood and rinsed off his arm. Quickly grabbing the nearest gauze and wrap he could find, he sloppily covered his handiwork and wiped the blood off the bathroom floor. They knocked again as he tossed the knife into the shower and slid the door shut. Pulling off his stained shirt, he stuffed it in his hamper and grabbed the first long sleeved shirt he could find in his closet.

"Nida?" A woman's voice called from the otherside of the door. "I know its insanely late, but I saw you go in a few minutes ago."

He froze at the sound of the voice. Quistis? "H-H-Hang on a sec!" He shouted. Taking a deep breath to try and calm his nerves, he shakily stepped up to the door and hit the release button. The door hissed abruptly open, causing Quistis to jump in surprise. "S-Sorry," He apologized. "I-I w-was gettin' ready to get in the shower when you umm, knocked, " He explained.

"Oh that's okay. I didn't realize you were doing something sorry," Quistis' eyes lingered on his face and then grew concerned.

"Did you want something?" He asked.

She was snapped from her musings. "Actually, I was wandering if you wanted to watch a movie. I know its late, but I couldn't sleep and I saw you walk by so I knew you were up." He watched, fascinated at her slight fidgeting. Was Quistis Trepe fidgeting because of him? He grinned faintly at the sight. "Can I take that as a yes?" She asked as she looked inside his room.

"Huh? Oh yeah," He answered as he clumsily scratched the back of his head out of nervousness. "B-But I don't have anything to watch a movie on."

"That's alright, I have in my quarters," She offered.

"Okay," He agreed before his mind had even registered all the possible implications of her suggestion.

"Okay then," She looked around the hallways and then motioned for him to follow her. Grabbing his card key he quickly followed her into the empty corridor.