Disclaimer- I in no way, shape or form claim any credit in the genius that it Final Fantasy VIII or the title to Linkin Park's song.

Author's notes- I'm sorry this chapter took so long. Things have been beyond crazy since my husband received his orders for deployment. All of my stories were put on hold for the summer while I helped him get things ready to go. I was also considering canceling this story, but then I got quite a few reviews and some encouragement when I needed it most, (you know who you are), and here's the next chapter. Thanks for all the support.

Breaking the Habit

"I love you," His words were mumbled and barely audible as he repeated himself. She pushed herself back from him and looked up at him indecisively. His chest tightened and his throat constricted as he waited for her response.

"How do you know..." She asked as she wrapped her arms around herself. "...if you really love someone?" Nida's expression dimmed as he slowly sat down on the foot of his bed. "I mean, how do you know for sure?"

"How can you ask that?" He asked as he leaned his elbows on his knees and looked down at the floor.

"Because no one's ever said that to me before." He looked up at her quickly. "I just don't want to hear those words if they aren't sincere." At her words, he abruptly stood up and walked across the room to the window. "Nida. Look, I'm really sorry..." He shook his head to silence her.

"What I'm feeling is more than just a crush or attraction. When I say love I mean that when days pass by without me seeing you, it drives me crazy because I miss you. I would do and give anything for you. You have no idea the impact you have left on my life. Everything's been turned around and made better because of you...You're the one thing in my life that has ever gone right..."

Quistis just listened silently.

"You really don't know how important you are to me," He whispered. "You're my life," A nervous grin crept across his lips. "I think about all the problems that I've had with my step mom and I can't help but shake my head in disgust because I know that I could do a better job with a family than she ever attempted to do. I think about how my life may have been different, had my dad not died or my step mom not changed, but I can't honestly say I'd want it to be that way," He grew silent. "If these things hadn't happened then I wouldn't have ever joined SeeD or met you. I'm sorry if this is putting you on the spot or making you uncomfortable. I just want you to know that you're the world to me. And that when I picture myself in the future, I'm always by your side, because that's how it should be."

After a brief awkward silence, Quistis smiled. "Of all the things people have said to me, no one's ever said anything like that."

"That's a good thing...right?" He dared to smile.

"Yeah," She covered her mouth and then began to cry.

"No no! Don't cry," Nida pleaded as he wiped away her tears. "Those words were not meant to evoke tears." She laughed as she gently placed her hands on his chest and slid them up on his shoulders.

"I'm sorry," She sniffed.

"Don't be," He whispered.

She smiled as she found her way to the foot of his bed and sat down. He watched as she nervously tried to flatten out the wrinkles in her skirt. "Nida...I can honestly say that no one has ever made me feel like you do," She paused and then smiled. "I honestly don't know why I'm skirting around what I know you're hoping I'd say. Considering your confession, I don't honestly think I'm going to scare you off or anything."

"What do you think I'm wanting you to say?" He asked in a half playful tone as he sat down next to her.

"That I love you too," She answered.

His face paled and he looked nervously down. "Do you? I mean if you don't or if this is too sudden or..."

"Shh," She silenced him. "You worry too much." He shrugged weakly. A smile spread across her lips. "Nida, I want you to know that I love you too."

"Really?" He asked in a stupor.

"Did you want it to be one sided or something?" Quistis teased.

"No, I guess not," He answered.

"Nida?" She asked.

"Hmm?"

"Where's your knife?"

"My what?" He asked.

"Whatever it is that you used on your wrists."

"Oh," His mood darkened. "Its uh...under my mattress."

"I want it," She told him.

"Why?"

"Because you won't ever have a reason to use it again." He looked towards his mattress a bit reluctantly. "Come on," She urged him. "Just give me whatever it is and let's break this habit."

"Alright," He spoke faintly as he rose and walked around his bed. She watched him silently as he slid his hand underneath the mattress and pulled out a small blade. "Here it is..." His voice was barely audible as he carefully handed her his weapon of self destruction. She gingerly took if from his hand and put it away in her purse.

"You're gonna break this habit...starting tonight," She reassured him as she took his hand and pulled him to a sitting position beside her. "I promise."

In an apartment on the second floor, Rinoa watched as Squall stared at the finish on his desk. He rested his forehead on his palms and sat silently. From her seat on their couch she finally spoke up.

"What's bothering you?" She saw what looked like a weak shrug. "Talk to me," She said as she came across the room and knelt beside his chair. "Look at me."

He slowly tilted his head to face her.

"I'm stressed," He confessed and then continued staring a hole through his desk.

"That I can see," She said as she stood and lightly massaged his shoulders. "But over what?"

"This whole engineer situation we're having with Mayor Dobe."

"Its not a situation, its already been remedied."

"But something could go wrong and I don't know if all of Garden's engineers are ready. We could be sitting ducks."

"Things will be okay. Nida and his teams were trained and are qualified." Squall sighed and walked across the room. Rinoa watched him curiously as he stared out the window. "This isn't about the engineers is it," She stated rather than asked.

He shook his head.

"What is it then?"

"'Its...", He paused. "Nevermind."

"Don't nevermind me, what's wrong?" She asked as she continued to watch him.

"How do you stand living here? You don't even like fighting and yet you're married to the Commander of the strongest Garden in the world. I go to work every day and send out and control my armies while you're left behind to sit in an apartment by yourself until I get back."

"I'm not completely alone..."

"A dog and an infant don't count Rin," He said as he placed his palm on the glass in front of him. "You have to be miserable."

"No I'm not, but you want out," Rin stated. He leaned his forehead on the glass.

"I never wanted in."

"What do you want?"

"...People to stop looking to me for answers. I never wanted to be a hero...well maybe your hero, but not the world's. And I never wanted to be Commander."

"Then resign."

"Where will we go what will we do? I want out but I haven't a clue what I want after that. I don't know where to go or how to support you. Besides, I can't leave Garden as vulnerable as it is. I mean if I'm not in control and someone else takes over, do you realize the havoc that could result? The people that could die?"

"I understand. That's a great responsibility, and you're a great Commander for realizing the possible consequences for your actions. Cid was right to make you Commander, but if you're not happy," She whispered as she placed a hand on the base of his back. "Do what you feel you need to do. If you decide you want to leave, we'll stay with my father until we get on our feet, if you want to stay...well we'll just stay then." He smiled at her.

"So you like Winhill? I figured you'd move back to Dollet if you ever got out of SeeD," Quistis spoke as she leaned against Nida's chest.

"Dollet has too many complications. Old memories, bad relations, and more than likely an entire city of people who know my life's story. I'd rather not even have to deal with it."

"Hmm...", She mused to herself.

"What?" He asked as he stopped stroking her hair and let his hand rest on her shoulder.

"Nothing."

"You realize there's nothing that can physically keep either of us here," He told her. "I mean Cid doesn't even have you in a binding contract and well me... Cid probably won't realize I'm gone," He laughed.

"True," She smiled. "But I can't do anything that spontaneous. I have to have some kind of plan."

"Fine, the next time one of the education board members threatens to revoke you license or Cid pushes one of his jobs off on you, quit."

"Quit?" She asked. "Are you trying to give me advice?"

"I'm giving you a plan."

"So I should just quit?"

"Pretty much," He said as he let his head fall back against his pillow and stretched his legs out.

"You have a very interesting way of planning things," She said as she ran her finger down across his chest.

"Very simplistic isn't it," he grinned triumphantly.

"Very," She agreed.

"I can alter the plan if you want."

"No its fine."

"Good," He smirked as he intertwined his fingers in hers and raised both of their hands above his head. With her arms being pulled so far from the rest of her body, she found herself falling slowly down onto his chest.

"So just what are you planning on doing?" She asked.

"Shh," He silenced her quickly. "I haven't got a plan."

She grinned and pulled her hands free of his. Sitting up on her knees, she waited for him to try to sit up and then pushed him back onto his pillows. A slightly confused expression crossed his face as he stared up at her expectantly.

"Is there anything that we could do tonight that you may regret in the morning?" She asked as she let her hair down. Nida watched as her golden blonde hair tumbled down her shoulders and fell on both sides of her face.

"Um..."He responded as he reached up and ran his fingers through her hair. "There's um, n-nothing that I w-would regret," His voice came out nervous.

"Good," She smiled as she unzipped her boots and pulled each of them off easily. "I think its time I stop trying to be the Garden's perfect little prodigy and role model."

Nida remained silent as he watched her unzip her top. She paused him and eyed him suspiciously.

"You sure there's nothing that you would regret?"

"What are you really asking?" He asked with a mischievous grin.

"Shh," She mimicked him and then pressed her lips against his. He let her hold him there against his pillow as he nervously ran his hands along her sides until he found the loose material of her shirt. She raised up and let him pull it off her shoulders. Then in one quick movement, she climbed off of him so that he could move around. He let her shirt fall carelessly to the floor and then quickly did the same with his own.

His heart was racing as he leaned foreword and fumbled with the laces on his boots. He could hear her undressing behind him but his attention was focused solely on the laces his shaky fingers couldn't seem to untie.

"Here," Her voice was soft as she reached down and easily loosened his laces. He quickly kicked off his boots and then froze when he felt her skin touch his as she leaned up against his back and placed her hands on his shoulders. His eyes closed as she carefully massaged around the base of his neck.

"I just want you to know that I've never done anything that would lead up to anything remotely like this," He tried to warn her.

"Neither have I," She assured him as she watched him rid himself of the rest of his garments. She waited until he'd rejoined her in bed before she tried to kiss him again.

"No," He protested and pulled away from her hands.

"What's wrong?" She asked in her confusion.

"No offense, but I'd really like to be the one in control tonight."

"Oh really?" She asked in a breathless tone as she leaned back under his approaching form. "I would have never have imagined I'd see this side of you tonight."

"Quistis," He whispered.

"Hmm?" She asked as she ran her hands up and along the contours of his bare chest.

"Shh...", He said as he used the weight of his body to pin her against his mattress. His breath grew nervous and labored as he hesitated and then opted to claim her mouth with his. She moaned lightly under his lips and let out a nearly inaudible whine when he raised up on his elbows and broke the kiss. He closed his eyes and took one last breath.

"Nida!" She called out his name and firmly grabbed onto his arms as he slowly pushed her down into his pillows and bed sheets.