Don´t own them, sadly.

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Jess's POV

Something was wrong with Rory. I could tell by the way her eyes always seemed to be clouded. She wouldn´t look at me and I could do anything to catch her attention, it just wouldn´t work. They kept her in the hospital for a few days due to the fact that she didn´t seem to recover well from the birth. She would always claim that she was all right and that I shouldn't worry, but I did. I scanned her body as we were standing in front of our apartment door while she kept looking in her purse for the keys.

She had lost weight, more than she was supposed to. The week in the hospital hadn't done her any good but the doctors would only say that it was a normal thing, that due to the changes of hormones in her blood she had lost her appetite, but I knew that it wasn't only the hormones that made her eyes teary and her body tense. She wouldn´t allow me to touch her, even if it was only her hand. She would always withdraw her hand from mine as soon as I tried to grab it. She tried to cover it by occupying her hands, always having something in them, but the worst part was that it never would be our boy. She just wouldn´t touch him.

Flashback

The nurse took our son to clean him up a couple of minutes after he had been put on Rory's chest. I wanted to protest, I wanted him there with us, but Rory seemed fine with it. I think I even heard a relieved sigh escaping her mouth.

" He's gorgeous, Rory. He really is. Did you see him?" I asked her excited. She just looked at me with tired eyes, not responding.

" Hey, You need anything? You're thirsty?" she just shook her head no.

I had to smile then, not knowing that we were about to face a difficult time that would include a lot of tears, yelling, fighting … emotions in general.

I looked at her, maybe really realizing for the first time that she had just given birth. She had to be exhausted, worn out. I noticed how her arms were crossed over her chest, as if was telling me nonverbally to let her alone. She had a pained expression on her face, fighting back the tears that were about to come. She turned her head away from me, hiding her face in the pillow, never uncrossing her arms.

" You wanna sleep?" I asked cautiously, my voice soft.

No Response.

I nodded silently and made myself comfortable in the chair next to her bed, intending on staying right there.

" Jess?" her voice broke the silence and I shifted in my seat.

"Yeah?" I said, almost in a whisper.

" Could you…" she didn´t finish the sentence. I sat back giving her the time to think, listening to the clock on the wall. Tick… tick… tick….

Finally she continued.

" Could you leave me alone for a while, please? " there was something in the way she said that, that made me shiver.

"Huh." I felt helpless.

"Please?" She underlined her request.

I hesitated, not getting up.

" Please, just go, Mom needs to know that everything is alright." but I knew Lorelai was already informed and probably dying to get to see Rory.

" Is it?" I asked

" Is what?" she shot back, still not turning her head. Her voice suddenly sounded strange.

" Is everything alright?" I knew deep down it wasn't, but I wanted to hear it was nonetheless; I couldn't take any more drama.

" Yeah, I'm just tired."

" Okay" I was still unconvinced but I gave in to her request and got up.

" I'll tell the nurse to bring him in later, ok?" I said as I made my way around the bed to peck her on the forehead. She flinched, which made me flinch in return.

I think I heard her mumble a " whatever" under her breath as I left the room.

Outside a very furious Lorelai greeted me.

" They won´t let me in, Jess, is everything okay with her?" I shrugged and whispered

" I hope so." Lorelai eyed my strangely but apparently decided to let it go.

" So, how does it feel to be a daddy?" he asked, changing the subject.

" I didn´t even get to hold him, he was taken away, but before you ask, the doctor said he was healthy and …" she cut me off.

" Ten fingers, ten toes?" She tried to cheer me up. Despite the feeling that was boiling inside of me, I had to smirk.

" As far a I could tell, he was complete." I chuckled as I heard Lorealai´s mumbled

"Dirty!"

Suddenly Lorelai yelped.

" Oh my god, I am a grandma. I am an Emily." She placed a hand over her heart dramatically.

" You sure are." what was I supposed to tell her? That if she turned out to be like Emily there was no chance in hell she would get to see much of her grandson?

" I need coffee." she suddenly exclaimed as if coffee was a global cure for all diseases of the world, but made no sign of moving.

I sighed and looked around.

" I'll get it." I stated, relieved that I could get away from her.

When I returned she was talking to someone on her cell phone, ignoring the " no cell phones" sign that was hanging right above her head. I smiled. That's Lorelai for you.

I sat down next to her, two steaming cups of bad coffee in my hands. I put one cup down on the table next to me and rubbed my eyes with my thumb and my index finger not paying attention to what she was saying. When she finally ended her conversation, she leaned back in her chair, stretching her legs out. She took the coffee that was now cold enough to drink and inhaled its scent.

" That was Luke, in case you were wondering." She said out of nowhere.

"Huh?" she had interrupted my thoughts.

" He says hi and congratulations." I just nodded, still slightly confused by Rory's behaviour.

A nurse approached us and told us that we could go see him, if we wanted to.

" If we wanted to, what kind of question is that? Would you like to see your grandson? No, some other time, thanks. I'm sorry, why would we not want to see him, is she insane?" I interrupted Lorealai´s rant when we reached the door behind which my son was lying.

I stopped and took a deep breath. Lorelai looked at me, smiling and nervously brushing an imaginary strand of hair behind her ears.

" You ready?" she asked.

"No." I took a step back and sighed.

" Now, I'm ready." I said and pushed the door open.

The first thought that came to my mind when I entered the room was: kids, a lot of kids, babies, sucking their thumbs contently.

" They look all the same to you, don´t they?" I heard Lorelai whisper next to me as if she didn´t want to disturb the peaceful atmosphere. I looked around and when I spotted him my face instantly lit up.

" No." I said shortly and walked determined over to the crib next to the window.

The sign above the crib read: "Tate Oliver Mariano"

" Hey" I said softly as I leaned above the tiny boy.

" How are you doing? Your mom says hi, she's asleep, you've already worn her out." I smiled and took his tiny little hand in mine softly as if I was scared of breaking him.

" Please, Jess, you're blocking the way," a very impatient Lorelai whispered behind me.

I took a step back to let her take a look.

" Oh, he's beautiful." she exclaimed and then continued in a baby voice that made me sick,

" You are so beautiful, the girls will go crazy once you're a grown up. Lovesick girls will be camping in your yard." her voice broke. Then she looked at me.

" He got your hair." what the hell? Suddenly she clasped a hand over her mouth, realization of what she had said hitting her.

" I'm sorry, Jess. I should think before actually talk. I didn´t mean…" she trailed off.

"Huh." I mustered up a small smile. I didn´t want this to disturb the peaceful feeling inside of me, although it already had, kind of. I'm still the dad, I told myself. I took one last look at the little boy in front of me who was now my responsibility. He shifted a little in his bed, sighed and went back to seeping tight. Lorelai and I left the room and I made my way back to Rory.

As I opened the door to her room, I heard her snore almost soundlessly but my ears were experts when it came to her. I walked over to her and sat beside her taking her hand in mine and even although she was fast asleep she pulled it back. I sighed and drifted off to sleep myself.

Flashback end

I was getting impatient when Rory still hadn't found the right key.Tate started tomove in my arms and although he was light my arms started losing their feeling.

When she finally found the key and opened the door I let out a relieved sigh.

Rory entered the apartment and stopped to take in the familiar surroundings. She let out the breath I knew she had been holding and pushed open the door to the nursery we had finally fished last month.

The paint was light green and the furniture was all white. Rory had said jokingly that she didn´t want her son to suffer from depression. I started to wonder if it was really our son we should be worried about. Lorelai had decorated the room and above the little crib there was a huge banner.

Welcome home, Rory and Tate !

I couldn't have predicted what happened next. Rory turned around on her heels, ran out of the room into our bedroom and slammed the door shut behind her. I stood still for a minute deciding whether or not I should go after her. I placed Tatein his crib and made sure he was asleep and went to our bedroom. I opened the door silently and saw Rory lying face first on our bed, shaking with sobs. I closed the door again and went to the kitchen to make some coffee. Maybe Lorelai was right with her talking about coffee being the elixir of life. As I made a fresh pot I couldn't stop wondering that maybe, just maybe this was something a cup of coffee couldn't cure.

Well, what do you think ? Good ? Bad ? Review please! Thanks for taking the time to read. If you were wondering " Tate" means fast, good talker, I thought it would fit!