Part VII: When Reality Comes Down To Haunt You

3 DAYS BEFORE VALENTINES

Alex stared at the ceiling while she lay in bed. She had a great time with Marissa and their friends. But Alex seemed bothered. She tried to shrug the thought of Marissa's shotgun feelings towards her, but she really couldn't. She thought about what would happen if Marissa went back to Newport. Certainly, Alex can't expect things to remain the same. Julie is there, and so is her so called only love, Ryan.

"Am I going down this road again?" Alex closed her eyes, trying her hardest to fall asleep.

But she couldn't.

She turned around and watched her digital clock change from 2:59AM to 3AM. She was starting to feel weary deep inside.

She stood up and walked towards the window. She opened it and let the wind carelessly blow her hair. She sighed. Why can't love be uncomplicated?

She stared out into the ocean, watching the waves angrily crash against each other. The water was disturbed, like her heart was.

"Do I?" Alex asked herself.

She wondered if she was willing to get hurt again. She wondered if she was ready to let go of the one she loves again. Thinking about it has made Alex close her eyes. She didn't want to cry. But then, she felt her heart skip again. She remembered Marissa's smile that night before: her warmth.

She knew it didn't matter. She just had to be happy while Marissa was still with her. It was all she can do. It was all she can have. For now.

----

When morning came, Katie woke up and found the Jessie's empty. She looked around the room, her eyes still blurry, and found it Jessie-less.

"Jess?" Katie called out, but received no answer.

She rolled out of bed and slowly made her way towards the living room.

"Jess?" She called out again.

And still no answer.

"Where are you?" Katie mumbled to herself.

She was starting to worry where the hell Jessie went to. The blonde didn't leave a note. And it scared Katie.

----

Marissa was still in bed, while Summer and Seth were already having breakfast. Marissa was awake but she was too lazy to stand up. Suddenly her mobile phone rang. With a smile on her face she checked who the caller was. Reading it, her smile faded. It was Ryan.

"Hello?" Marissa answered sitting up on the bed.

"Where are you? Your mom is worried. Is Summer and Seth there? Are you alright?" Ryan rambled on the other line.

Marissa sighed. She could tell Ryan where she was, but the boy would surely come down to take her home. As of the moment, Marissa didn't want to go home. She wanted to stay in LA. She wanted to be with Alex.

"I'm fine. And yeah. Summer and Seth are with me. I'll be home soon." Marissa replied, her voice completely cold.

She cared about Ryan. But she didn't know why, she was feeling like this so early in the morning.

"Tell me where you are… I'll pick you up. Your mom is really worried."

Marissa rolled her eyes when she heard this. Julie can be such an actress to convince Ryan. Ryan is totally clueless to realize anything anyway.

"I'll come home when I feel like coming home. Bye." Marissa replied flipping her phone to end the conversation.

She looked out the window and then muttered "Shit" under her breath.

You don't hang up on your boyfriend.

She buried her hands on her hair. Then her phone started to ring again. Ryan was calling back. Marissa sighed knowing the boy will be a little less kind if she picked it up. She thought for a second, should she or shouldn't she tell Ryan where she was. Julie was bound to find out soon. But should she?

"I can't lie anymore." Marissa said to herself.

She flipped her phone again.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hang up on you." Marissa said sincerely.

Ryan was satisfied and just let her be.

"Where are you?" He asked in a worried tone.

"LA." Marissa replied her eyes didn't blink as she did.

"LA? What are you doing in LA?" He asked again, his tone evidently rising.

"I wanted to visit Alex."

"Alex? Girl Alex? Bait Shop Alex?"

"Yes. My ex-girlfriend Alex."

"I'm coming down there."

"Be my guest." Marissa replied, not wanting to argue with the boy any longer.

----

Jessie came back from her stroll on the beach and found Katie in tears on the couch.

"Katie? What's wrong?" Jessie rushed to sit beside her crying girlfriend.

"Jess! Oh God what happened? Where did you go? I was worried! I thought… I thought…" Katie stammered her eyes still in tears.

"I just took a walk. I didn't want to wake you up. You seemed tired from last night…"

"You could wake me any time…" Katie frowned wiping her tears.

Jessie brought her hand to Katie's face and cupped her cheek. She leaned in to give her a kiss.

"I love you. I'll take care of myself. You don't have to worry too much…" Jessie said resting her forehead against Katie's.

"I don't want to lose you. I think I'll die…" Katie began to sob, bringing her head to Jessie's chest.

"You won't… I love you so much…" Jessie held Katie's head closer to her.

"I love you so much too…"

----

"Alex!" Jodie greeted when Alex made her way towards the bar.

Alex replied with a wave. She lacked the energy to actually call back out to her friend.

"You could you smile a little. I mean with the night you had? You should be." Jodie smirked wiping her hands.

"Yeah. I guess." Alex let out a small smile in reply.

She took at seat beside the bar while Jodie started to arrange the bottles.

"Jodie…" Alex said looking at her watch.

Jodie turned and saw her friend deep in thought.

"What's wrong Alex?"

"Is Marissa happy with me?"

"Shouldn't you know that?"

"I don't know if she is…"

"Are you worried she's going to leave you again?"

"No."

"Then what's with all the face?" Jodie circled her finger around Alex's face making Alex snap her head back.

"Nothing. Maybe I'm just worrying on stuff not worth worrying."

----

Night came and Eli had to go down the club to play with the band. Katie and Jessie were left in the apartment. Jessie was still disturbed with Katie's outbursts earlier that morning. She took her girlfriend's hand as they watched movies on HBO. She tried to stay focus. But was clearly worried. She brought her lips to Katie's cheek and kissed her gently.

"Katie… Talk to me."

"What about?"

"Why you had the little… Thing this morning… You know I take a walk every morning…"

Katie turned to look at her with sad eyes.

"You always took them with me." She replied sighing.

Jessie smiled and placed her hand on Katie's cheek.

"Just because I didn't take it with you today, doesn't mean I won't be taking them with you some other time…"

"But what if you get tired of me? What if you get bored?" Katie looked straight into her eyes sadly.

"I would never get tired of you…" Jessie said in response.

"You say that now… Who knows what you would say when we get back…" Katie bowed her head.

Jessie forced the other girl to look up to her. She kissed her lips softly.

"Remember this Katie Singer. I LOVE YOU. And you mean everything to me." Jessie declared her eyes starting to build up tears.

Katie didn't reply. She kissed Jessie forcefully, making the blonde fall back to the couch. Katie moved on top, kissing her deeply. She pulled back and looked straight into Jessie's blue eyes.

"I love you… I love you…"

Leaning to kiss Jessie again.

----

Alex stood beside the bar while Jodie served the drinks. Summer, Seth and Marissa were on their way to them. Marissa wasn't wearing a smile though.

"Hi guys." Alex greeted with a smile.

"And GIRLS, Alex. Guy and GIRLS." Summer replied rolling her eyes.

"Hi guy and girls." Alex shook her head as she "corrected" herself.

"Alex…" Marissa looked up to meet the blonde's eyes.

"Hm?"

"Can we talk? In private."

"Sure. Let's go to my office."

Alex took Marissa's hand and walked passed Seth and Summer. She led the girl towards her office, then gently closed the door.

"Ok… Talk…" Alex smiled taking a seat.

"Ryan's coming." Marissa said quickly.

She searched for the blonde's eyes which turned sad.

"To pick you up and take you home I suppose." Alex stood up and ran her fingers through her table: Not looking back to the brunette.

"Yes." Marissa replied sadly, taking a seat on the couch in Alex's office.

"What time do you leave? So I can see you off…" Alex turned to Marissa and force out a smile.

She was aching inside, but she had to hide it. For both their sakes.

"I don't want to go back to Newport."

"You can't stay here. You have school… And Ryan…"

"I want to be with you…" Marissa looked straight into Alex's eyes and took the blonde's hand.

"I don't want to be anywhere else." Marissa added.

Alex pulled her closer. She then ran her fingers through Marissa's hair. She tried to memorize Marissa's face as much as she could. It maybe the last time they'll ever see each other. Alex didn't want to hope.

"This is not your life Marissa. You know that. You can visit me some other time. You know where to find me now…" Alex spoke, trying her hardest to sound happy for her friend: Her ex-girlfriend.

"But I want you in it." Marissa replied about to start crying.

"I am. I am…" Alex pulled her into a hug.

She pulled Marissa into a hug.

"Now how about we have a good time for your last night in town?" Alex proposed pulling away from Marissa but never letting go of the girl's hand.

"Ok…"

"Ok…" Alex smiled dragging Marissa out of her office to have a good time.