The resounding knock has her jumping from the couch, startled by the impatience of her late night visitor. Opening the door, she barely has time to get out of the way, before he comes striding into the house, obviously upset.

"I made her cry," he practically shouts.

"Who?"

"April," he groaned, pacing in her living room.

"What happened," she asks, wondering what he possibly could have done to upset her.

"When you left the diner today, she started asking me all kinds of questions. You know, like is she your girlfriend, do you like her, are you going to marry her someda? I thought she was just being curious, you know, trying to find out more about me. So, I'm being honest with her. I tell her we're on sort of a break, but hopefully things will work out in the future."

"Okay. Sounds okay so far. What happened next?"

"I noticed she kept getting quieter and quieter as the day went on but I thought she was just tired or bored. But by the time I drove her home she wasn't even talking to me. So when I pulled into the driveway I asked her what her problem was."

At Lorelai's wince, he rolled his eyes.

"Yeah, I could have probably been a little more tactful. But I did get results."

"She was mad at you."

"Worse. . . disappointed. I could take angry. I was almost expecting angry. I didn't expect . . ."

Watching Luke slump down on the couch, looking defeated, she's not sure she wants to hear his next words.

"Apparently she's had these dreams of having a family. You know, the long lost father comes home and finds the mother and daughter have been waiting for him all these years, and they live happily ever after."

"Oh Luke," she sighs, " you must have known, even a little, that she might have had plans for you."

Watching him close his eyes, she wonders where his thoughts are taking him.

"Did Rory? Did she have those dreams? Did she make plans?" he asks finally.

Surprised a little by the twist of the conversation, she answers honestly.

"Yes. Of course she did. I asked her once about it, and she laughed it off a little. Told me she hoped one day Chris and I would make a family for her, or Pee Wee Herman. . . . it was a toss up. And when she was sixteen, when Christopher came to visit that time, he asked me to marry him, and of course, I said no, but she heard it, heard the proposal, and I'm sure she was disappointed a little, even though she understood why."

"Christopher proposed to you when?"

"Remember the morning I came to the diner in my pajamas and apologized for standing you up. . . then."

"How come I never knew this?"

"I don't know. You were mad and hurt and I was confused . . . it wasn't something I talked about."

The silence hung in the air between them, each wondering what the other was thinking.

"Do you regret it? Regret . . . .not making a family for her?

"God Luke," she says, pacing now in front of the fireplace.

"Do you think I didn't ask myself those questions, when Rory and I didn't talk for four months? Do you think I didn't wonder if she had a full time father as a teen if maybe things wouldn't have worked out differently, that she might have been stronger?"

Angry now, the words pour out of her mouth, feeling not only the pain of the last months,

but the renewed fear of where this conversation is going.

"Or maybe it would have been worse. Maybe living with parents that couldn't make each other happy would have driven her out of the house even earlier."

"Lorelai. . . I.. . ."

"Don't make me justify my decisions, don't make this about me," she says firmly.

Standing up now too, facing her, he sighs briefly before saying in a quiet voice.

"I don't know how to fix this. I feel responsible for her, responsible for not being there for the last twelve years. I just want to make her happy. I just want her to be okay. I don't want to disappoint her."

"I know. But Luke, you can't wave a magic wand and change what went before. You have to build on what you have now."

"By the time we finished talking in her driveway, she was crying. She jumped out of the truck and ran into the house. I went to the door, I just couldn't leave everything like that. I wanted to go in and talk to her some more. But she had stormed to her room, and Anna said she had it covered. And she gave me that look, you know, the one you give the deadbeat father."

"Luke, what do you want me to say? You're not seriously considering trying to make this happen for her, are you?"

"I don't know," he says simply, running his hand across his face.

Defenseless, she couldn't even answer him back. What can she possibly say that wouldn't sound selfish. She can't have you, you're mine. Don't you see how much you are hurting me. Feeling her future crumble, anger seems to be the easiestemotion to follow.

"I can't tell you what to do. It's not fair of you to ask that of me. It's your decision Luke, you do whatever you want, leave me out of it," shouting now, she walks over to the door, opens it and stands silently as he gets the hint that it's his time to leave.

"Lorelai. . .."

"Not now," she says as she closes the door firmly between them.

Two hours of pacing and thinking have helped put some of Luke's surprising revelations into perspective. He came tonight looking for a friend, someone to confide in, talk things over with. Instead he got the ex-girlfriend, the one who saw visions of her future crumble before her eyes, and just lost it.

Making a decision, she drives to the diner. Maybe they can salvage something of this night, talk it through, come up with a plan. Grabbing the key, she lets herself in and makes her way up the stairs. She hesitates before knocking, putting on her game face. Softly tapping on the door, she hears a muffled come in.

"Are you going to yell at me some more? Because I'm quite drunk and a little defenseless right now," he says from the couch.

Smiling apologetically at him, she answers, "Oh, poor baby. Rough day, huh."

Smiling back at her, he just groans in agreement.

Approaching him, she leans over to give him a light peck on the lips.

"I'm sorry Luke, I know you needed a friend tonight."

"I needed my best friend," he says staring down at the bottle of beer balanced precariously on his knee.

"She's here. I left the evil ex-girlfriend at home, okay?"

"Okay."

"You know, everything really does look better in the morning. It's not just a cliché, although for you that might not be true, because you are going to have one hell of a hangover tomorrow."

Kneeling down between his knees she tries to untie his boot laces.

"Jeez Luke. Who ties your shoes in the morning? They're all knotted up."

Intent on his laces, she doesn't realize that he's all but squirming on the couch.

"Lorelai," he groans as she leans her cheek against the inside of his knee, finally getting the stubborn knot out.

Stroking her hair, he slides further down the couch, practically groaning.

"Don't even think about it mister. That's what happens when you put your girlfriend on hold, remember," she says with a smirk, finally realizing that her actions are getting a definite reaction from Luke.

As their eyes meet, the needy look on his face is a balm for her battered heart.

"I'm sorry," he says.

"Shhhh. It's okay."

"Nothing I said came out the way I wanted it to. I was just thinking out loud, you know, just figuring things out. . . I didn't mean to hurt you."

"I know."

"It will always be you. If I ever had to make a decision on who I was going to spend my future with, it would always be you. I want to be her father. I want to make her happy, but I can't live a lie for her."

"She'll understand."

"I should have told her about you from the beginning. I should have introduced you right away."

"She'll get to know me. We did it the hard way, but it will work out. Kids are a lot smarter than everyone gives them credit for. She knows she's getting a great dad. She's fallen for you already. That's not going to change."

Leaning over him, she presses a soft kiss to his lips.

"Come on, time for bed."

But before she can tug him from the couch, he has her tumbling into his lap.

"I've missed this," he sighs, running his fingers through her hair, kissing her softly.

"I've missed this too," she groans, pulling him in for a deeper kiss.

"Next time I do or say something stupid could you just slap me, it'd probably be less painful."

"For both of us."

To be continued