I am so so sorry for the delay, but life is going crazy, I have finals coming up and I got accepted in this huge research group, so I practically spend my days studying and reading articles about stuff that has technically yet to be discovered and I am part of that, how cool is that …Lol.

Thank you all for your reviews, you guys are the greatest, I love you for that!

Enough with the rant, here's the next chapter.

Oh yes, I own them, I have Alexis and Milo hidden in my closet and yes I think they are begging me right now to let them out… (They wish) …

Jess's POV:

I was doing my best to ignore the constant sighs that came from the other side of the bed. I knew Rory was doing that on purpose, to get my attention, but I decided to not give in this time. If she wanted to talk to me, then she could just tell me, right? I was staring at the ceiling, silently counting the deep breaths Rory was taking. 8.….9.… in five minutes, if she didn´t stop soon, she'd be starting hyperventilating...

I shifted in my position in order to get more comfortable, but inside of me this huge monster called guilt was slowly starting to make an appearance. Another new and unfamiliar experience for me; while growing up I hadn't known these feelings, guilt, responsibility, care …..love. I had neither cared when I had taken money out of my mother's purse nor when I had shoplifted, well, had I done it anyhow just to be one of the crowd.

While reminiscing about my past I could hear Rory sigh again, but I still tried to ignore it.

I had started smoking when I was 12, I guess at first I had just done it to annoy the hell out of my mother, but slowly, that one cigarette I smoked after dinner ( well, if my mother had been sober enough to prepare it anyhow) turned into a cigarette while watching TV, then a cigarette while reading and before I knew it, I had gotten addicted to the taste, the nicotine, the feeling having something to cling to. Pathetic, that's what it seemed to be now, I actually had been comforted by having my hands occupied. My mother would yell at me, she had even tried to ground me once, when I was 14, but I simply had looked at her, had given her my condescending smirk, telling her silently that she had fucked up, and had left the apartment not without slamming the door behind me. Yes, take that!

For most of the time I had been a jerk andit had taken me years to understand that I couldn't blame my mother for everything that had gone wrong with my life. But wasn't it always easier to look for the blame anywhere but at the right places?

I sighed, turning away from the ceiling, silently cursing under my breath. It was at night when I wouldn´t be able to fall asleep, that these thought kept haunting me, how would I be able to raise a kid when I had stopped being one when I was three years old?

" jess?" Rory's soft voice interrupted my doubts. She rolled over, so that she was now facing me.

She silently stared into my eyes and it took all my will power not to avoid her gaze. Her eyes bore right into mine, but she didn´t say a word. She just lay there on the bed, her bare chest covered by a light yellow blanket, the ends tucked under her armpits, hugging her body perfectly. No words were necessary as we were reading each other with our eyes, gaining access to the other's soul.

I swallowed hard, trying not to let the emotions out of their locked cage inside my body and up to the surface.

I was fighting with my inner demons, as they started to growl inside of me, begging me to set them free.

I had no idea why these feeling, doubts were getting more frequent lately, but I think it may be for the fact that our life was now settled enough to let the processing begin. As I scanned Rory's face I came to the conclusion that I had to do something about it, anything. So, I did the most unfamiliar thing, I spoke my mind:

"I don´t want Tate to start smoking at the age of 12." Random statement, never blinking once.

"I don´t want Tate to think he's not wanted." Her reply. I swallowed and took a deep breath.

" I don´t want Tate to doubt his existence." Her eyes still didn´t betray her as she took in my words.

" I don´t want Tate to feel insecure." She blinked.

"I don´t want Tate to feel homeless." The demons were getting louder and louder as they started to gain power.

"I don´t want Tate to pretend." She broke eye contactas she closed her eyes. I felt cold all of a sudden.

"I don´t want Tate to feel as if he was a disappointment." The growling in my chest started to reach the surface.

" I don´t want him to feel as if he had to prove himself in order to be loved." I knew by her cracking voice that her very own demons were starting a revolution.

" I want him to be happy." A statement all parents would sign.

"I want him to be able to be himself." She trailed off.

I scooped closer to her, my face now only a few inches from hers, I could already smell her, taste her. I closed my eyes as I let the sensations sink in. When I opened my eyes again, I was met by piercing blue ones, her gaze was so intense that it made my mouth dry and my hands sweat. She moved even closer to me until my body was as close to hers as it could get. She left butterfly kisses on my chest, trailing down to my navel, never releasing my hands from her firm grasp. She left burning marks on my upper half as she made her way back up to my collar bones. She leaned forward and bit my neck, softly sucking on it and I was sure she was marking her territory. I tried to roll her over so I could get better access to her body but she wouldn´t let me.

"shush, jess, please, I need this." She whispered before I could object. I was lying lazily on my back and let her explore my body as if it was for the first time. I felt teeth and tongue and lips leaving wet trails on my body. A slow moan escaped my mouth and she looked up and smiled at me, this small, innocent smile that made me go crazy.

She was now straddling me and it was getting more difficult to resist my instincts and take her. She needed this.

When she finally claimed my lips, my breath already came out in short waves, insufficient, but nonetheless the most comforting feeling ever. We kissed hungrily, tongues dueling, both wanted to win this battle of passion.

When we finally connected in this very unique way I could only connect with her, it lasted longer that it had ever before.

After that we were lying in bed, her head on my chest, both covered in the post-coital glow, our breathing in sync, still a bit ecstatic.

As my eyelids started to flicker, I heard her whisper.

" I am scared too."

So? What do you think? I know there is not a lot happening in this chapter and it´s very short, but I just had the feeling that Jess had been taking everything a tiny bit too simple. Now that they finally are getting married, he becomes aware of this huge step and the responsibility that comes with it. Anyhow, REVIEW PLEASE!