Title: Ready or not
Chapter title: Between you and me
Disclaimer: I don´t own the characters. JAG belongs to CBS and DPB and Paramount too.
Rating: T just to be safe.
A/N: Thanx to everyone who is still interested in this story and big thanks to everyone who reviewed, it really means a lot to me. Your questions will be answered in the next chapters. Hopefully I will update earlier than in six months…I´m sorry for that, but school, work and something I call social life kept me away from the PC. Not to mention my writer blocks lol. So here you are, hope you´ll like it.
WARNING! This was not beta-read,not even read over by me, so all gramar mistakes and the other ones are just mine.
MARINE COMMAND BUNKER DESERT NEAR KABUL, AFGHANISTAN
Harm´s pov
I thought that I never see something like this. When I opened the doors to the infirmary and saw her I… I don´t know, but all I wanted to do was give her a hug. To hold her tight and never leave her arms. She looked lost, fragile and so out of place, but at the same time I knew she would stand up for herself and fight till the end. She had heir hair in a loose ponytail, so I could see that her hair grew longer. She saw me and Bud instantly and stood up from the chair to greet us.
„Hi Bud"
„Colonel! It´s so nice to see you again." Bud went straight to Mac and gave her a quick hug.
„Welcome in the big sandbox." She wasn´t very enthusiastic about it.
„Harm."
„Mac." I was not sure how to greet her. After all she was higher rank than me.
„Harriett is sending her regards. She´s hoping to see you soon." Bud tried to get a hold of the situation.
„Yeah, I´d like to get out of here too." She smiled a little and our eyes met. There was a long silence as we watched each other. She was so beautiful, even wearing this camouflage uniform. Mac broke our eye contact way too quickly and stared at the man laying on the bed.
„He wont tell you anything today, but I can find you someone else for interview." She said. I have read the file Admiral gave us over on the plane so I probably know what is bothering her so much, but she didn´t do anything wrong and from what I´ve read she managed the situation quite well. Apart from the incident with the medic and the dog, but I don´t think that´s what bothers her that much right now.
„Okay."
She led us to one of the bigger buildings all covered in sand and dust. When she opened the door I found out it was something that looked like a mess. There were just few people eating and among them Mac´s team. When they spotted us coming they completely shut up and waited.
„Hey Mac, wont you introduce your friends?" one of them asked, a smug grin plastered on his face.
„You won´t be that happy after she tells you, Ray. I bet they´re going to haul your fat ass to prison." Someone said and then a mixture of laughter could be heard.
„Shut up and listen everyone. This is Lt.Cmdr. Harmon Rabb and Lt. Bud Roberts, they are from the Judge advocate General. They´re going to investigate the incident from yesterday so you have orders to cooperate and help them around. Is that clear!"
„Aye aye ma´am."
„Fine." Then she turned around to Harm and Bud and said: „If you need me, I will be at the infirmary." Then she left.
Now I really knew that something was terribly wrong with her. All I saw on her face was blank look. Not a flicker of emotion could be seen and I watched her almost all the time. I have to talk to her and in private. Yes, definitely in private. With Bud there she won´t tell me anything. I ask one of these guys to tell me where I can find her quarters.
After they interviewed the team they decided that they need to eat too so they stayed in the mess for a while longer to get over what they had already.
"Should we call the Admiral with what we have got so far?" asked Bud after a while of silence.
"Bud, we don't have anything so far."
„Yes sir, but he might want to know how is the Colonel doing." Bud tried again.
„So he can call her himself. Sorry Bud, I´m just having a bad day right now."
„It´s okay sir."
„We´ll talk to Murray tomorrow and hopefully the lieutenant will wake up and tell us something." Harm started to stand up.
„But sir, we have to talk to Colonel Mackenzie too." Bud pointed out.
„Tomorrow Bud, now we have to get some sleep."
„If you´re sure sir."
„I am sure Bud."
Mac´s quarters, sometime in the night
Mac opened the door to her quarters and looked around like when she came here for the first time. She surveyed the room. Two chairs, small desk, closet and not very much comfy bed. She sighed and seated herself in the fairly old chair. Looking around one more time, she glanced at the nearly only personal item in the room. She couldn´t helb but pick up the worn photo from the top of her desk. It was worn, not from age, but from holding in and removing it from the frame for better look at the details which were now starting to loose their shine and attraction. The photo shared many tears over the last two years. It was photograph of her and Harm. She always kept it close to her heart and mainly deep inside her mind. She took it with her to Afghanistan as a memory of him, to help her remember the good times and to help her keep a smile when she was thinking of him. She sighed again. Things just weren´t the same without him.
Knocking on her door took her from her thoughts. She knew immediately who it is. She opened the door and looked up at him.
„Hi."
„Hi."
„Um, can I come in?" Harm asked, somewhat shyly.
„Sure, if you want to."
Glancing up as they settled into the chairs, Mac took notice for the first time in the six hours he was here, that he still looked handsome and young, although there were signs of aging especially on his face. She had seen these worry lines before and she knew what was going to happen next.
Harm broke the awkward silence…
„You know, I´m still your friend, you can talk to me." He told her softly. She just glared at him, then tilted her head down, suddenly finding her toes very interesting.
„You don´t have to tell me anything. I´m just offering a shoulder to cry on, nothing more." he said as his eyes looked to try and make contact with hers. The only problem with this was that she was not looking at him at the moment so he drew his eyes away from her. She didn´t move, just kept staring down at her feet.
„Don´t blame yourself for what happened. It wasn´t you fault." He waited for the inevitable freeze, anger, tears or anything, just something. She slowly pulled her head back, looking at him. She was trying her hardest to keep calm.
„Well, if you are still my friend, why didn´t you answer my phone calls, or e-mails or anything Harm, why?" He was taken back with that question, because he didn´t expect her to ask that, but evidently he should know better.
„I just, I guess I thought you wanted to start a new life, I didn´t want to bother you if you found someone or I don´t know and now I´m babbling." He smiled, but she didn´t return it. The excuse sounded lame even for him, he couldn´t expect her to drop it, but she did.
„I don´t want to talk Harm." She looked into his eyes for the first time this evening. The look in her eyes was both familiar and foreign to him.
„Then don´t." He would not let her turn him away. Not with everything they shared and done.
She watched him silently, absently playing with a strand of her hair which had fallen out of the ponytail she was still wearing. She was pissed of. How could he? He knew her way too good. Her mouth moved, but no sound escaped. She sighed and tried again.
Harm I…, she trailed off as she wondered where she was planning on going with that.
„I shouldn´t leave DC in the first place. If, if I stayed in my office at JAG any of this mess would have never happened. It´s all my fault." She looked at Harm hopelessly. She found herself unable to recognize the woman in her skin. Harm just arise from where he was seated and opened his arms for her.
„Come here Mac." She hesistated, but then stood and followed reluctantly into his arms, wondering what the hell was going on.
„It will be okay Mac." She tried to not react to the feel of his warm breath against her ear, but her body defied her as small shivers ran through her.
„Nothing´s changed for me Mac, you´re still my best friend." And he meant it.
„Harm?"
„Yes?"
„Thank you." She left the warmness of his arms and watched him as he took the hint and with a last smile left.
MARINE COMMAND BUNKER DESERT NEAR KABUL, AFGHANISTAN
In the infirmary
Mac had spent her time between taking care of Sean and Butch. Both of them seemed to get better, but Butch still couldn´t get up which bothered Mac a lot and Sean didn´t wake up yet and that was even worse. In the meantime she was doing some paperwork for the General. The right word would be trying to do some paperwork, because everytime she was doing just that she inevitably thought about JAG and Harm of course. She was just translating something from farsi to english and couldn´t find the right word, so she looked at Sean for a while and noticed his eyes were open and watching her intently.
„Oh my god, Sean!"
Harm and Bud were in their temporary made up office going over informations they had. It wasn´t an easy investigation. They had been sitting in a conference room interviewing base personnel all day. Everyone seemed to know about the rugged relationship between Murray and Mac and everyone had an opinion about it.
Harm rose and shook hands with an officer that was just leaving.
„Thank you Lieutenant."
„Well, at least we have something." He said to Bud.
„Sir, just because Colonel Murray hates Colonel Mackenzie doesn´t make him the one who shot Lieutenant Cowley."
„I know Bud, but we have enough evidence about the fact that he threatened her several times with killing her or to harm her."
„Yes, and we have direct proof that Murray has borrowed the plan of Mac´s team mission on that day when they were leaving for it."
„That wasn´t very smart thing to do."
„So we can bring him up on charges immediately."
„Yes, but we still don´t know who shot Lt. Cowley and the other one, Cpt. Tim Swenson.
„We need to wait for the balistics to tell us."
A knock on the door ended their speculations. It was Mac and she was happy.
„Sean just woke up!" and with that she left. Harm and Bud looked at each other and went after her.
MARINE COMMAND BUNKER DESERT NEAR KABUL, AFGHANISTAN
In the infirmary
„Hi Sean, I´ve got you some company. This is Cmdr. Rab and Lt. Roberts. They are investigating the incident from two days ago."
„Hello sirs."
„Lieutenant."
„So how are you feeling?" Harm asked politely.
„Like I have been hit by an eighteen wheeler, sir." Sean answered and tried to smile a bit.
„Yeah, I know the feeling." Harm said, remembering his rampstrike years ago.
„We´re here because we have to ask you some questions. You couldn´t by any chance see the man who shot you?" Asked Bud.
„Well, I definitely saw american uniform, but I don´t remember much. Ugh I think after they shot me I got unconscious and I woke up today and first thing I saw was an angel sir." Sean quickly glanced in Mac´s direction and Harm couldn´t help himself to immediately get jealous.
„Oh, stop joking Sean, that´s an order." Said Mac.
„I´m just saying the truth ma´am." She just glared at him, silently urging him to stop it. And he did.
„I´m sorry, that was uncalled for. I really don´t remember anything that would help."
„It´s okay Lieutenant, don´t worry about it." Harm was not pleased, they still didn´t got the report about balistic tests so they had pretty much the same as before and that meant nothing.
„Okay, I think it´s time to have a little talk with our friend Murray. Take care Lieutenant."
„Thank you sir."
As Harm was leaving the infirmary, Mac took Bud away and told him:
„Bud, just make sure Harm won´t beat him up okay?"
„I´ll do my best to try, ma´am, but between you and me, I don´t think he would want to do that."
„Umm, if you think Bud, but thanks anyway." Mac didn´t look much convinced.
tbc (but only if you want to :)