Shape of the heart

Lily has been having strange dreams of her future son, Harry Potter and the hard life he endures. To save her son from suffering she refuses to walk fate's path and begins to avoid James Potter. But she soon learns that it's not of what the mind decides, it's of what the heart desires...

A/N: Thank you to all the people who reviewed! (Wipes away tears) Thank-you so much! (Hugs reviewers) So now, I shall be continuing the story and this one's much longer and is mostly flashbacks and stuff that she remembers and some more of her favourite guy (not), James!

Chapter Two

:flashback:

My mother is dreadfully ill, and my father has passed on to another place. I've been trying to pick up the pieces of what remains of my shattered life and put it back into proper order, but everytime I try, I fail to and this makes me upset and unwanting to continue.

"Depression is like deadly poison...don't obey it's orders Lily, whatever you do..." my mother told me when I confessed to her about how dreadful I felt. "No matter what happens, you have to be strong even if I do follow your father..."

I gulped as she leaned towards me so she could whisper. She gripped my hands when she told me this. "I want you to be there for your sister before you leave. I want you and your older sister to finally get along, if I go...Do you promise Lily?" she asked, her eyes over bright.

"I-I...p-promise mum..." and as I stuttered this out I squeezed my mother's hands tighter and bowed my head to hide the tears that were threatening to pour out. I didn't want to cry in front of my older sister Petunia, who sat at the foot of our mother's bed pretending not to listen to the conversation I was having with mother.

I didn't want her to see me cry because of how my attending Hogwarts had brought a rift between our close relationship. Well before I had received my letter from Hogwarts, school of Witchcraft and Wizardry, Petunia and I were inseparable. But ever since I began to attend Hogwarts my sister felt like I no longer cared for our friendship and we grew up further apart. My sister began to hate me and started to believe that what I did was abnormal and that I was a freak. She soon began to become secretive and always pretended things were fine to the neighbors between her and I, even though it wasn't so.

Soon, she began to care nothing of me when her new boyfriend came into her life, Vernon Dursley and if there ever were a prize for the biggest sissy it would be given to him with no doubt at all. When he found out what I was, he began to fear my every move and when I was around him he never seemed able to look me in the eye (or in the face for that fact) even though he was much stronger and bigger than I was.

Of course my sister thought that being a witch and having magical powers was something only a freak would be and have.

After a moment of silence in the room, to my relief the phone rang downstairs and Petunia excused herself so that she could answer the phone, then she dashed down the stairs and left my mother and I alone.

"Oh Vernie!" I heard her cry from downstairs after she had picked up the receiver. I felt like I was going to hurl but my mother suddenly closed her eyes and her breathing became shallow which made me panic.

"Mother? Mother?" I whispered in a small and scared voice as I released her hands and began to shake her shoulders gently. "Mother! Petunia! Hurry! Petunia!"

Suddenly, I heard Petunia throw down the receiver and rush up the stairs and race into the room, her usually neat hair flying everywhere. As soon as she saw the state mother was in, she rushed to her side and sat beside me, grabbing one of mother's hands.

"Mother...?" asked Petunia, her face ever so pale.

There was silence.

My mother finally spoke, "It's so bright..." she murmured. "Darling...darling it is so bright..."

"No mother, there is no light and you have closed your eyes..." whispered Petunia, lifting a hand to brush away a stray lock on mothers face.

Mother's face was wet from sweating so much. She looked so worn out that I began to sob quietly, knowing what was happening. I grabbed my mother's other hand. "Mother!" I cried when my mother finally went silent. Her hand was limp in mine. "Mother!" I screamed as if not believing that she had finally gone. I was on my own now...I didn't want to be alone...

Petunia laid a hand on my shoulder comfortingly. "Don't cry. She is...she is...in a happier place..." muttered Petunia as if trying to find words that would uplift her spirits too.

I turned and faced her, and remembered my promise. "You're right." I sniffed and embraced my sister. It was an awkward, short hug but it made me feel better that I wasn't alone...

:end of flashback:

"Lily? Lils? Lils? Hello?"

Blinking, I realised Ciara had been speaking to me and was now waving her hand in front of my face. "Er...what was that Ciara? Sorry, I didn't hear you." I said.

Ciara frowned at me. "Lily! I said, 'Aren't you supposed to be with the prefects?' I mean you are Head Girl right?"

I nodded my head mutely. "And Remus is Head Boy." Latisha giggled at this. "What's so funny?" I asked.

"Well…nothing really…I'll was just thinking…oh never mind!" said Latisha.

I sighed and shook my head before turning to stare out the window.

"Lily?"

"Yeah?"

"What are you thinking about?"

"………just about the N.E.W.T.S." I lied.

"Really?" said Latisha. "I'm quite nervous about them too you know…you think I'll ever get through this year? I really hope I do because my Madre and my Padre really want me to succeed."

I noted how she said 'Mother' and 'Father' in Spanish which was her native tongue which meant that she was not in a good mood about them.

"So…Lily…" began Ciara rather nervously. "I've heard a lot of rumors…" I continued to look bored out the window but really I was listening very carefully to every word she said. My heart was thumping wildly and I knew exactly what she was going to tell. Something I was not in the mood to hear and something I didn't want to hear at all. "Look Lily…James you know…"

"Ciara…please don't remind me…I'd rather not hear about that prat." I snarled.

"But…Lils, he…well…" muttered Ciara.

"Yes, he's a jackass, I know that already. You could stamp onto his forehead if you wanted to. Ever since he came to this bloody school he's been acting like one. I mean…how conceited and idiotic do you have to get around a girl just to make her think that she absolutely hates him?" I said in a loud voice.

Latisha cleared her throat and shifted her eyes towards the door of the compartment which was opened and had a group standing near the doorway.

James Potter and his friends.

So…yah…tell me what you think and give suggestions, ideas, constructive criticism and whatever you want…but if you send a flame… :pats fire extinguisher next to her: …then I'm ready…

So review me!

Chibi-Chichan