Shape of the heart
Lily has been having strange dreams of her future son, Harry Potter and the hard life he endures. To save her son from suffering she refuses to walk fate's path and begins to avoid James Potter. But she soon learns that it's not of what the mind decides, it's of what the heart desires...
A/N: Thank you to all those who reviewed! XD So yeah, it took me a while to get this up because I have a useless piece of junk for an internet and well I apologize to all those who waited patiently. (Yes I am a lazy bum, so what are you going to do about it?). This one's not going to be as long as the others because I have major writer's block…
Chapter Three
"Oh," I mumbled quietly, flushed in the face, "Hello Potter."
James grimaced but didn't say anything and Sirius placed a hand on his shoulder. "Told you she thought you were a bit conceited mate." said Sirius, trying to lighten up the mood with a joke. He looked from James's face to mine as if expecting someone to laugh.
Remus, paler than he usually was put his hand on James's other shoulder. "Forget it James. Come on, let's move to the next carriage." he said.
But James didn't budge and desperate to look anywhere else than him or his friends I glanced over at Ciara praying for her to do something. Sensing what needed to be done, Ciara spoke up quickly. "Stop gawking Potter! Don't be surprised! Maybe if you deflate your fat-head and stop hexing people just because you feel like it, more people may start to respect you!" she snapped and I a relaxed a bit, saying in my mind a prayer of thanks that she was blessed with quick-thinking.
"Yeah, go on and get out of here!" ordered Latisha, giving her a disapproving frown and folding her arms across her chest making her look like a teacher frowning at a disobedient student.
"Looks like we're not wanted here James mate." muttered Sirius, glaring at my friends and I for saying such things about James, his best buddy.
Before they left James opened his mouth and said, "I thought you of all people would understand Lily." And as he said that our eyes met and it was like I had just gotten an electric shock. Green met hazel. Hazel met green.
I realized he had just used my first name and I opened my mouth to say something but nothing came out. As I stared into James's eyes I could see the hurt and pain my words had caused and my heart-ached. What was I doing? Why was I so against him? Then I remembered the vivid dreams I had of Harry. Harry my son…sitting in his bed, flicking through a photo album of his already gone parents…longing for a parents love and touch…
And where would he get that from? I remembered again how I had seen Harry waking up in a cupboard under the stairs in my sister Petunia's house…
Tears sprung into my eyes and I tried hard to keep them back. I had a burning sensation in my throat and my chest tightened up as I remembered even more that Harry gazed at a photograph with James and I beaming back at him…with a group of people surrounding us who looked equally as happy and yet Harry himself was lonely and gloomy.
I gulped. What was I doing? I wanted to prevent this thing from happening! I wanted to hate James, everything about him, from his messy thatch of hair, to his dirt covered shoes. And yet I wanted to say I was sorry. I wanted to reach out and touch him…but I can't, I thought grimly. What was I to say? Then it was decided.
"Crawl up and die Potter, am I supposed to feel sympathy for you? You hex people just because you can. You pick on weaker people. Now you want me to respect and feel sorry for you? Forget it. If there's two things I know, it's that you'll never change from your idiotic ways and that my feelings towards you will never change either." I said so coldly that even my friends were shocked by what I said.
But I had said it and I couldn't fix it. I wanted to say something nicer…this wasn't like me! And yet, a voice in my mind urged me on, urged me to say something else cruel…
"I-I…don't u-understand." James said, his voice trembling and I couldn't tell if it was from shock or…sadness…
I jumped to my feet. "I'm saying Potter, that I hate everything about you! I wish I never knew you! I hate you James Potter!" I yelled in his face.
And all my anger laced every single word I had said. All my anger and sadness over the last few months that had built up was now coming out and was directed at James.
"You did this!" I cried as I thought about Harry. "This is all your fault! How could you do this to me!" I sobbed, tears streaming down my face and before anyone could stop me, I pushed past the four boys and ran as fast as I could. Where I was going, I had no idea. All I knew was that I had to run away from the voice that was calling from behind me now.
"Lily!"
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So whaddaya think? I might not update for a while because I'm trying to make chapters longer (though, right now I'm failing at it) and I have all my other stories and sites to worry about so review while you can.
Also, I'd like to thank all the people who reviewed so far! Thank you so much to these people who have reviewed my story so far:
Ahura Mazda, Gabi Web, TajM, Jen, books 4 me, SodaFizZz19, purple psycho
Thank you so much, you guys rock!