Chapter 2 – Potions
(Disclaimer: See Chapter 1)
Her thoughts had been haunting Hermione for quite while, but finally her tired body took its toll and she fell asleep.
When she woke up again and opened the curtains she saw that Parvati and Lavender were gone. Where?, she asked herself. And why?
Hermione frowned. She forced herself to think (which was had never been a problem, but now it was!). Which day was it? She remembered the display of the magical clock in ...his... room.
It was Monday.
A look at her own clock – which showed 12:30 p.m. - made her jump out of bed. She had overslept!
She didn't need to have a look at her time table, she knew it by heart. She had already missed Arithmatics and Transfiguration, and at the moment she should be at---
She froze.
"Potions", she whispered. No need to tell they still had Snape in this subject. They had always had.
She plumped onto the bed again and covered her face with her hands.
"I can't go", she muttered desperately. "I can't!"
What if he remembered last night? Or else: What if he did not?
She wouldn't stand this lesson, she knew that. Not after all that... had happened.
"What happened?", a quiet voice inside her head asked. Hell, she wasn't sure yet, but she expected the worst.
While she slowly got herself dressed, she felt torn. On half of her completely rejected leaving the room and even more meeting ...him. But the other half didn't want to miss the lesson, not matter what the situation was like...
...and she could not hide for the rest of her life! Sooner or later she would have to face Snape. There was no way to avoid that.
She looked at herself in the mirror with unseeing eyes and her interior screamed with fear. What if anybody knew? She could very well imagine Draco shout it across the school yard – Granger made it with Snape!
"Oh God", she whispered weakly as she left through the common room and headed for the dungeons, her hand clutching her wand.
Finally she found herself standing right in front of the thick stone door to the Potions classroom with her heart beating fast. Perhaps it was no good idea. She could still get back and say she felt bad – what would not even be a lie.
But on the other hand... She knew today's stuff was very important for the NEWTs and she was not willing to miss it. She couldn't count on Harry's, Ron's or someone else's notes of the lesson. They never wrote down everything... The thought of being at the NEWTs and not knowing the right answer filled her with horror.
No, there was indeed no other solution than standing this lesson.
So she sighed, cleared her throat and opened the strong door.
As she entered the room everyone turned around, both Gryffindors and Slytherins.
Hermione saw Ron and Harry who gave her inquiring looks. Everyone stared at her, and she knew why. She had always been in time, always.
Snape had stopped talking. Hermione avoided his gaze, said "Sorry, I'm late" and headed for her seat.
She sat down, put her books on the table and hoped desperately that Snape would just go on with the lesson.
Of course he didn't.
"Miss Granger", Snape's voice cut the silence and Hermione winced, "so at last even you have come too late... 10 points are taken from Gryffindor."
A few Gryffindors moaned (among them Harry and Ron), but Hermione kept staring on her table and simply felt horrible. Snape's presence made her unable to suppress her thoughts about him, her and the last night. She was so into these thoughts that she didn't even feel angry about his punishment.
As she didn't protest, Snape went on with the stuff.
But as much as she tried – Hermione was not able to concentrate on what he was saying to them. His voice reminded her of last night, but she couldn't recall the exact memory. It was bewitched!
She felt more and more caught in a nightmare from which she just couldn't escape. And the longer she was there, the more she was convinced that it had been a really bad idea to come there. It just left her in pains and did not answer even one question – as there was, above all, the most important one:
Did he remember?
She risked a glance at his face while he said something mean to Neville. Well – he looked just as usual. Either had a blackout that was similar to hers or else he could hide it very well.
The much she hoped her memory would come back – she also feared it. And she even more feared that---
"Miss Granger!, Snape shouted harshly and Hermione scared up from her thoughts.
"Yes?", she answered weakly, not expecting anything good to come and still not daring to glance at him.
"Look at me when I talk to you!", Snape snapped.
Hermione swallowed hard and looked up – their eyes met. She felt the fear burn stronger inside her. But there was something else, too... Something she didn't understand. Other feelings.
But she had no chance to think about it - Snape looked at her with a frown.
"Please – tell me how to make the Veritas potion."
Hermione knew they had talked about that potion last lesson. But she simply wasn't able to remember.
There was a long silence.
"Miss Granger?"
"I... don't remember", she stammered and watched a satisfied smile flit over Snape's face.
"So... you don't remember" He seemed to enjoy every single word. "Very bad, Miss Granger, very bad. We all thought you knew everything... Well-", he glared at her, "it was a long night, wasn't it, Miss Granger?"
Hermione's heart stopped beating and she held her breath. What did he say?
She felt like being about to loose consciousness – he remembered. It was obvious to her.
His killing glance made her flinch. Was that the reason why he treated her so bad?
She wished she was dead – no need to say that this wish didn't come true. Instead Snape carried it even more far.
"Are you so... exhausted... that you cannot even concentrate on something as easy as a Veritas potions?", his piercing voice resounded.
Hermione could not believe what he had just said. She looked around and her eyes met Draco's. She would never forget his smirk again.
What was going on? Had he told everybody or what? Why did he do this to her?
Her eyes filled with burning tears. She grabbed her books and rushed towards the door.
As she left the room, Draco's giggle followed her as well as Snape's angry voice shouting "Another 10 points taken from Gryffindor for leaving without being allowed to!"
Then the door fell shut behind her and she ran away.
In the afternoon she sat in the common room, pretending to read a book. But inside she was still as troubled as she had been earlier that day.
She had waited for her memory to come back, but it had not yet.
Hermione pulled her brows together. The last thing before her blackout she remembered was... well – yesterday's lunch. It seemed odd to her that the blackout lasted such a long time, but what could she do? Ask a teacher? – A quiet, ironic laugh escaped her. "Oh, Professor Dumbledore, I've lost my memory about the last night which I spent with Professor Snape – would you be so kind to help me remember?" Never.
But maybe she could find out what had happened the last afternoon and so get to know why she had got drunk. At least a little help. Maybe she could ask Ron.
This moment someone sat down next to her and she looked up – it was Harry.
"Hi Hermione", he said with a worried look upon his face. Hermione knew he was asking himself what was wrong, and she also knew – no, guessed – that he didn't just care because they were friends, there was more to it.
She had noticed the way he looked at her when he thought nobody would see.
Now he was waiting for an answer, willing to help her if possible... ...which didn't make the situation any less complicated. Instead even more. She couldn't tell him, because of his, well, tense relation to Snape that had not improved all over the years.
Now he hesitantly put an arm around her shoulders, but it didn't comfort her. She felt uneasy and the touch forced her thoughts back on Snape.
It was cursed – she thought about him all the time, although she really didn't want to! The harder she tried not to think about him, the more she did.
She was so desperate that her eyes, again, filled with tears. There was no way out and she didn't know what to do – she didn't even know what she wanted!
"Please tell me" Harry said softly, which made her cry even more because she wished she could but knew she would never be able to do so.
"Let me", she cried out, pushed him away and ran into the girls' bedroom where she plumped into the sheets of her bed.
How the hell had she come into this situation?!
to be continued...
First of all I wanna thank all of you who have reviewed. You're great! :)
Draco-Fan101 - What is so not right?
Sark & Sydney - Well, be patient - you'll soon find out if Snape remembers or not!
shadoewhunter - Yes, the situation is indeed funny. How could it be not? So abstract!
IYWriterGirl - Do you remember the title of the stories where the idea has been used? I'd like to see how they deal with the topic! (Curious as always... ha-ha)
Elnora - :)
Blue furry elf - Hey, nice you've added me to your Author's Watch List.
I'm already busy with the next chapter - there will be confusion and lots of trouble... What does Hermione feel deep inside...?