Ok, this is like, shocking late. Plus a bit short. It's being a busy last few weeks for me, cut me a break. It's mid-year exams over in this corner of the world. My last one was today. Plus I've just had my unit re-painted and I seem to be coming down with something.

I'm still undeceided whether I want a beta right now. What I would like to do, is actually manage to finish this thing, sometime in the next centry would be nice. Then have someone beta the whole thing as a concisive whole. Is that a bad thing?

Because someone wanted to know: In Australian slang a 'snag' is another word for a sausage. A few snags on the barbie. (BBQ) Usually means sausages and onion. Together with some bread and tomato sauce (ketchup?), which all adds up to a hotdog.

By the way, do they have Jaffas overseas? It's about the size of a medium to large marble, covered in the same sort of shell casing as a smarty( I know smarties have made it overseas), coloured red and filled with cherry flavoured chocolate. Or I think it's cherry. It's my favouriate type of chocolate.

ssHPss

Harry reached out a hand and blindly scooped up a handful of smarties. One thing Australians were defiantly good for was their chocolate. Though these days it was easier to get things like tim-tams, smarties and apparently even violet crumbles and jaffas in England. Since he'd had very little contact with muggle shopping, the Dursley's preferring to leave him at home, he'd never even heard of them before. Plus Dudley's obsession with candy had actually rather put him off them for the most part.

He pondered the book perched in front of him, leant up against a pillow. Then glanced at Nick. The black boy was writing something intensely. He found himself smiling. While he wasn't muggle born, he'd being muggle raised and it amounted to basically the same thing. As such he'd always being taught to look down on things like witch doctors and other supposedly savage, out of date beliefs that did not fit in modern day ideals of science and technology.

Learning that witchdoctors were valued in wizarding society as any other profession had being quite an adjustment. Nick wasn't the only one he'd come across whose culture he'd being taught was primitive and worthless in today's society and had to learn that, in magical society, they were seen as equals and even superiors. He'd being taken back when Professor Snape had spoken to a Native American Indian with a diffidence that was frankly astounding.

The learning of cultures, beliefs and the varying approaches to magic was in it's self a very interesting education. Though he was learning that while the approaches were different, the underlying principles and base magic was ultimately the same. The biggest difference was the casualness of which certain magic was discussed. Magic he'd so far being taught was dark, dangerous and illegal. Magic based on sex and blood, and various other elements he'd rather not think too much on.

While the idea didn't entirely appeal to him, Snape was the best person to ask. Besides, all the people he had approached had told him this was the job of his teacher.

Professor Snape had looked at him rather broodily when he'd finally found the guts to ask.
"Humm." The lips tightened and eyes narrowed. "It's a problem occurring in many wizarding societies that have had too much exposure to muggles. Wizards get the idea to 'modernise' their beliefs. While some changes have not doubt being beneficiary, our society has taken the step to far the other way, where the modernisation has actually caused wizarding society to go backwards, instead of forwards. By restricting magic that, while dangerous, if used and implemented the right way, can be extremely beneficiary. The strongest and most powerful magic is one that requires the user to give something of himself. Blood, hair, sweat, tears, pain, pleasure.

"There is only so much a wizard can do with so called 'safe magic.' The void of balance in this matter is the reason why the Dark Lord has managed to get such a hold in England. The impact of muggles and muggle born has being substantial and yet subtle on current wizarding society as you know it. Its why so many believe magic should only be taught to fellow wizarding families, not to those like Miss Granger.

"Her continued campaign to free the house elves, while well meant, is viewed with contempt by pure-bloods and most house elves alike"
"But, Dobey"
"Is a cross-bred mutant, if truth be told. Mr Malfroy likes his experimentations."

Harry shuddered at the sheer coldness in Snapes vioce. His mouth was suddenly very, very dry.

"That was hardly what we were discussing however. High wizard are a rare breed Potter. We know too much, by and large, to be properly considered as light wizards. Powerful magic requires more then just innate power, though it helps. You can't just keep using magic, strong magic without repercussions, not without giving something back in return. Things that respectable wizards consider dark. Yet we can not be dark either"
"Why not?" Harry asked curiously.

"It has to do with the knowledge gained after transition. Knowledge involves more then just the mind Potter. It's spiritual, emotional, personal. A higher can not become purely dark because it requires a selfishness, a greed for power, money, wealth, station that no higher could support because the knowledge given to them doesn't support that kind of thinking. Transition changes you in more then just one way, it changes you in multiple ways. Mind, spirit, soul, magic."

"You were dark once though weren't you?" Harry had to ask, had to know. Dark eyes glittered dangerously. "I mean, you wanted to be a Death Eater, you practised the Dark arts and all that"
"I was many things at sixteen but I wasn't truly dark, not yet Potter. Though probably well on the way"
"Then you became a high wizard. Went through Transition."

The thin lips twisted unpleasantly.
"Quite. I had all the power I ever dreamed of having, and an incombersome conscious to go with it"
Harry stared, not quite what to make of that little confession. It was times like this that he remembered this was Professor Snape, Hogwarts Potions Professor and terror of most students.

Yet despite it all, he was coming too actually like him. It was entirely too disturbing.

HPssHp

Harry had a second reminder of just who Severus Snape was a couple of days later. When, while studying on the couch, the sudden shattering of glass immediately brought his head up. In all this time he'd never known Snape to break something. His eyes widened when he saw Snape was gripping his left arm fiercely, his face contorted with pain.
"Sir?" The hesitant word fell from his lips. Black eyes blazed at him.
"You will continue as normal and stay out of trouble until I return, is that clear?" The vicious words were spat out and Harry had a brief moment to wonder if this is were Snape got his temper from. He didn't have to ask to know that Voldemort was calling. He simply nodded mutely before Snape swept fluidly out the door.

In just that moment, his summer had being ruined. Until now it had become a holiday, with benefits. Sure he had classes and there was so much to study, but really that was a small price to pay for being here and he LIKED learning this stuff. It was more then interesting and it made him wish he could have learnt it sooner. He's being to the library and to Flourish and Botts to know you didn't get these sorts of books and this sort of learning. Typical wizarding books gave you the spell, how to pronounce it, what to use it for, its history, the accompanying wand movement and not much else.

Here he was learning how magic worked, the principles it worked on, how spells could be developed and more besides. He knew Hermione would love it ere but he didn't have to ask to know that she wouldn't be welcome in this society and he also didn't have to ask to know he couldn't tell her, or Ron about highers. Harry sighed and looked at the mess of shattered glass and smoking, not quite liquid. It was a thick and strangely solid liquid. He knew better then to try to clean it up while the professor was gone. He'd received very strict instructions about Snape's lab that mostly comprised of two instructions.
"Stay Out"
"Don't touch anything!"

He spent most of the night just staring at the spot, unable to concentrate on his work. He discovered that the stuff was phosphorous and glowed hot pink in the dark. It resulted in a rather odd nightmare about a strange hot pink blob out to kill him. It was a change from his usual Voldemort induced nightmares. One thing he was grateful for was the wards Snape put on these rooms to stop him from getting visions.

He asked why that hadn't being done before, Snape scowled.
"Ask the headmaster." Was the prompt reply.

The next day turned out to be a very long way. Or so it felt. Everyone noticed that Snape had mysterious vanished overnight and didn't comment. Or at least the highers didn't. He had the impression by the end of it that most highers knew what Snape did and while they didn't exactly approve and obvious worried about him, they understood the importance of it. When Nick asked him however, he was evasive. He wasn't sure what was for him to share and what wasn't be he was fairly sure that this was one firmly slotted under the, do not share section.

He'd certainly had had enough practise over the years at keeping secrets and while he got on well with Nick and liked him as a friend, he simply wasn't as close to him as he was with Ron and Hermione. Or simply hadn't known him for long enough.

He hadn't realised just how much he had come to rely on Snape's presence and he knew the day had being all but a complete loss as he'd not particularly managed to absorb any of the information given, which he knew Snape would berate him about. He hadn't even managed to mediate properly. His routine had being thrown into a complete mess all because Snape wasn't around. It was ridiculous. Considering how much he hated the man after last year. Some how, in some way, Snape had seemed to relaced the part Sirus had played in his life up to this moment, and he couldn't completely resent Snape for it. He missed Sirius, still grieved for him and wished impossibly to change what had happened. Coming here had helped take his mind off the guilt complex but hadn't erased it completely. But being here, some place completely different, so removed from his normal life had made it easier to forget and move on. Being with the Durselys had given him too much time to dwell over what ifs, which hadn't being healthy and it also meant he'd already done plenty of grieving and having something like a fresh start in many ways had being something of a blessing.

Removed form the situation, from his life, his friends, the school for the most part. he could finally start to look at the whole thing objectively, recognise his faults, Sirius faults and even Snapes faults and had to recognise each of them were human, had made different choices and none of them were really to blame. Though different choices could have being made, there was no guarantee that the change wouldn't mean that someone else died. perhaps someone he didn't know as well as he had Sirius but someone who still had a life, still had people who cared and loved them and whose life would continue where it otherwise might not of. It didn't make Sirius's death any easier to bear but he had come to a sort of acceptance over it. Rather then just trying to ignore it ever happened.

When Snape turned up unannounced at Dinner, Harry was surprised at the level of relief he felt. Though it was rather hard to tell, he rather thought Snape moved a bit more stiffly then usual and seemed, tenser, if that was even possible. "I have being informed that your young friend Estelle will be let out briefly tomorrow. It might be of benefit to speak with her." The black eyes bore into his and Harry just nodded and smiled.

Snape was right, as he always was. He asked to be allowed to takl with her. They might have let her out of the room, but only across from the hall, nearby in case they needed to quickly shove her back in again, behind the shielded and warded walls that would keep her new strength contained until her could control them.

"How do you feel?" Harry asked Estelle a few days later.
"It's so hard to explain. I know everyone says that but Merlin. Until you experience it. It's just beyond words"
Estelle was glowing, her face was joyful and it was obvious her mind was wasn't entirely with him.
"What can you tell me then"
"The power, it is so strong. It's white hot and it sears though you, you know it's painful but you can't feel it because it's just too hot. It seems to go on forever"
"I know that part." Harry smiled, though he was more then a little frightened about the prospect.
"When you come to, it's like you've drunk more then was it good for you; you're giddy, woozy, dizzy. The world spins but that's all right because the world is a damned brilliant place and you love everything, never mind the damn blast headache or the nauseous rolling of your stomach, everything is just dandy thanks"
Harry chuckled slightly.

"What happens next?
"You sober up." Estelle gave a wry smile. "Oh it's still rather heady but your head starts to clear up a bit. First thing that happens is you mediate. You are already starting to get to the point where throwing yourself out and then gathering it all together again is becoming instinctive." Harry nodded in agreement.
"I had the brief sensation of stars, millions of stars in the black ink space before instinct came over and I was gathering myself back. It was like nothing I had seen. I mean the first time I sent myself out I saw the planets by I'm told only a few potential are strong enough to throw themselves further then our own little solar system"
Harry flushed slightly and Estelle gapped at him a moment.
"I, wow. You know how things become like instinctual after transition. You know things you couldn't possibly normally know?" She asked him.
"Sure." Harry nodded.
"Well I know some how all the higher wizards, what level they are on in comparison to the others. You're Professor Snape in among the strongest known. No wonder you have him as a personal instructor. I'm not sure if I should mention this..." Estelle frowned slightly.
"What"
"Even though I know you will have that knowledge soon enough and I'm doing my best to act normal and everything, use normal words without bursting out about how the magical immunities within the solar plexus of the average wizard is minimally proportional to the amount of energy partials they can control"
"Huh?" Harry blinked at her and she smiled a bit sadly.

"Exactly, I can't entirely keep the thought away that everyone who isn't a higher witch or wizard already is a bit on the stupid side." She said apologetically. "No one but a higher could understand each other and while it's common enough for a higher to marry an ordinary witch or wizard, high wizards tend to pair up together some high wizards will never consider it. Your Professor Snape is one I believe who could not tolerate someone who is at least a higher."

"I can well believe that." Harry snorted.
"Yes, but think it through. Snape is so powerful he is well beyond even most highers; there just aren't many able to match him. But you might."

Harry unconsciously took a step back, swallowing heavily.
"You think he might...?" He couldn't even say it. The whole idea of Snape possibly looking to him for, well, that! Was more then just surreal, it was terrifying and not a little absurd. In a hysterical sort of way.

"Think about it Harry. I don't know Professor Snape well, basically only a day but I've heard at lot about him, about what he's like. Even to highers he can be bitter, arrogant, sharp tongued, menacing and absolutely terrifying. Yet with you, he's actually seems to be trying his utmost to be actually kind. I think he sees your potential and he's, well he is being patient, explaining what he feels everyone should just KNOW. I think he's thinking that you could be compatible, after you've being through the transition."

Harry blinked at her.
"Compatible! With Snape! I, that's just, I don't even like guys"
"Harry, believe me. That won't be nearly as important after. It's just a body after all. A difference here and there to be sure but so irrelevant in the scheme of things.

"Look I can't stay long. My control is still inexpert. I'll be leaving in about a week probably. I'll see you again most likely but, nothing will ever be the same again Harry. Everything changes after. I hope we can still be friends, I'll send letters. Maybe after you transform though." She grinned at him before rushing off.

Harry stared after her, his mind whirling. That was and wasn't the Estelle he'd gotten to know in such a short time. Frankly the whole business of transforming scared him witless, more then a little. He did however, know that it would greatly increase his chances against Voldemort. There was also that niggling little fact that there was absolutely nothing he could do from stoping it happening.