A/N: Teehee this is for my boyfriend! I hope you like it, snookums! IM me! KTHNX! Everyone else, please review! KTHNX!

ONLY AT MATTRESS GIANT

Miroku had to use all of his powers of Buddha to stop himself from skipping on the way home he was just so excited. After all, he'd been praying for just such a blessing pretty much his whole entire life. And now, even despite what those naysayers naysaid, Miroku would finally have an heir; he was pregnant!

Shaking fingers unlocked the front door of the house and trembling feet crossed the threshold, but this time Miroku was quivering in excitement instead of fear for his life! What a joyous day. Boy, Inuyasha sure would be happy to hear the good news! When the doctor confirmed the pregnancy, Miroku had considered calling his husband form the OB/GYN, but eventually decided that it would be better if he divulged over dinner.

But Miroku still had a lot to do before Inu came home! All those hours lost waiting at the doctor, not to mention the length of the appointment itself, meant that Miroku would really have to hurry up if he wanted everything done to his husband's satisfaction. Thank GOD the good monk always kept pre-made dinners in the freezer, because Miroku had absolutely no time to waste. Almost falling over in his rush, Miroku preheated the Frigidaire 24 inch single electric oven to 350 and immediately swooped down to grab the Clorox Bleach from under the Kohler Iron Tones Smart Divide kitchen sink.

Oh no! Miroku hadn't even looked at the clock! The digital clock on the wall blinked a red and ominous 5:30; Inu should walk through the door at 6:00! With no time to spare, Miroku didn't even bother to grab a sponge and just started pouring out the fast-acting Clorox onto the countertop and floor. At least Miroku had already given the rest of the house a thorough scrub job that morning, but if his husband found even one speck of dirt in the kitchen..

With renewed haste, Miroku scrubbed and scrubbed with his hands, steadfastly ignoring the burning all up his arms and in his eyes and in his throat. The recently impregnated man almost hesitated when he thought "Deary me, I think bleach could potentially hurt my unborn baby," but when he realized what would be in store for him if he didn't clean up properly, he continued his vigorous cleaning. Only when he had covered every square inch in the kitchen did Miroku dare open up all the windows to let out the toxic chemicals and allow himself to breath.

Congratulating himself, Miroku turned to the clock to see how much time he had to set the table. 5:46. Good! Maybe he could even design a pretty little flower arrangement and set up some candles. That could maybe get Inu to not run straight to the vodka once he got home. But as Miroku stood up to get the candles from the cabinet, he saw the frozen dinner still thawing on the table.

"Oh, God!" he gasped as he ran to put it in the oven. The casserole needed to cook for twenty minutes, but maybe if Miroku put out some rolls, Inu wouldn't even notice that his dinner would be 5 or 6 minutes late getting to the table. As he sprinted to the oven with the casserole, the now tearful man tripped and fell, only barely able to save the dish by cushioning it with his own body and smacking his head on the Burmese Slate Vinyl tile floor. Only after he got up and put the glass dish in the oven did he realize that he was bleeding sluggishly from the back of his head. But that wasn't important! There wasn't any silverware on the table yet for God's sake!

Everything was done (including the extra rolls) by the time Inu walked through the door.

"WHY THE FUCK DOES THIS KITCHEN SMELL LIKE ASS?" the hanyou yelled drunkenly. Miroku sighed; Inu had promised he would stop drinking on the job.

"DID YOU JUST FUCKING SIGH AT ME, BITCH? WHO THE HELL ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME, HUH? YOU'RE JUST A DIRTY NO GOOD SLUT. DID YOU FUCKING SCREW THE MAILMAN, HE SUUUUUURE LOOKED FUCKING HAPPY WALKING DOWN OUR LITTLE DRIVEWAY!"

"No, Inu, I promise I don't even know who our mailman is, I swear to God I don't even know his name, please, honey, let's just."

"You don't even have to know his name, you little bitch, do you?" Inu slurred, grabbing onto Miroku's collar.

"Honey, please, just sit down, the rolls are already on the table, just let me grab you your vodka, alright darling? Please?" Inu's hands loosened.

"I bet that's just how you asked the mailman if you could suck his cock but yeah, you dirty whore, I could use a drink. Get your ass back in the kitchen. Damn cocksuckers at work called me a good-for-nothing! There wasn't any water in the watercooler, I had to have something to drink if those cheap bastards won't even have any water!" He paused in his tirade to throw his bowler hat and briefcase at the wall. "SO I JUST FUCKING HAPPENED TO HAVE SOME FIREWATER IN MY FLASK! IT WAS ALL I HAD AND I WAS FUCKING THIRSTY, GODDAMMIT!"

"You're right, baby!" Miroku appeased from the kitchen.

"Who the fuck asked you? Not me, I sure as fuck don't care what whores say!"

Miroku took a moment to dab his eyes and wipe the tears off his face. He hadn't planned for anything like this, but Inu really had been getting better lately, this was probably just a tiny minor setback on his 12 step plan.

Just then, the oven timer went off before Miroku could stop it.

"What the hell was THAT!" the drunken hanyou yelled from the dining room. "YOU HAVEN'T EVEN FINISHED DINNER YET?"

"Sweetheart, here's your dinner right here, let's just all sit down, I made it just like you like it."

Footsteps crashed towards the trapped Miroku. "Like HELL you did! I bet you were just too busy fucking the mailman to remember to make dinner for me, you fucking cocksucker. You'll just get on your knees for anyone, won't you, bitch!"

Miroku covered his stomach as Inu crashed into the room and into the fridge, knocking over some knickknacks as he stumbled towards the quivering monk.. "Please, Inu, no, that wasn't it at all! Just let me explain!" By now, tears were pouring down Miroku's face and dripping off his chin in small, mournful rivers. Because his eyes were so blurry, he didn't even see the first punch coming.

Miroku's vision went white for a moment, just long enough for him to wonder if he was going to die, but then he woke up on the floor, ears ringing from the force of the blow to his temple. Instinctively, he curled up into a ball as Inu began to kick him.

Inu's cursing started out quietly, but soon rose to such a high volume that it completely overpowered Miroku's whimperings and pleas for mercy. "GODDAMN BITCH! FUCKING CUNT OF A WHORE! DICKSUCKING ASS HORNY BITCH!" Just when Miroku thought he would pass out from the pain of the merciless beating on his still-healing bruises, Inu stopped and muttered "I need another fucking drink, get your sorry ass off the floor, bitch."

Miroku loosened up from the fetus position and just lay prone on the floor for a few seconds, panting, until Inu kicked him in the jaw. Then Miroku peeled himself off the floor, trying his best to ignore his body's protests and the feel of blood sticking to his clothes, skin, and hair. Supporting himself on every flat surface he could grab a hold of, he slowly stumbled his way over to the bar, where he poured Inu a single shot of vodka, diluted with as much water as Miroku thought he could get away with. It was a risk, yes, if Inu found out, but getting him any drunker when he was already this mad could only lead to an incident like last Christmas, and Miroku didn't much fancy having to go to the emergency room again with the same tired old falling down the stairs story; the hospital staff might get suspicious.

Wiping off his face with his sleeve, Miroku schooled his expression into what he hoped was something pleasant and soothing. He feared it was more of a grimace, but really, his ribs were weak now from the repeated breaks and, damn, if they were broken again, this time Miroku would just have to treat them at home. Meekly, he shuffled over to his husband and placed the drink in front of him.

Inu didn't even notice it; he was busy glaring out the window. Please, let him fall asleep, just let him fall asleep, Miroku prayed with all of his soul. I know I'm not worth much and I can't even make my wonderful husband happy, but please just give me this. I promise I'll do better, please, just let him fall asleep and wake up sober and happy and ready to be a father! He'll make such a good father I know he will, but please, God, just make him fall asleep!

Miroku watched nervously out of the corner of his eye as Inu finally noticed and slugged back the shot of vodka. His husband smacked his lips and looked around the room menacingly, his eyes finally landing on Miroku.

"Don't look at me like you feel sorry for me, slut!" Inu cried as he leapt up and backhanded Miroku across the face all in one furious motion. Miroku staggered back into the hallway, blinking back tears and trying not to trip over his own feet. Luck was not with him today, for Inu followed him into the hall and pushed him back into the living room. The pregnant man fell onto the floor and flipped over onto his stomach, hoping that he could at least save the baby from pain. Inu fell on top of him and savagely bit the back of his neck. He began to grab roughly at Miroku's ass. "Spread 'em like you did for the fucking mailman, you bitch!" he sneered. When Miroku did not immediately comply, Inu punched him in the side of the head. Reluctantly, Miroku complied and pushed up his ass and spread his knees out a little. "See how hungry for it you are already, you big fucking slut? Nothing but a damned good-for-nothing whore."

Miroku just pushed his nose into the carpet, hoping it would at least absorb some of his tears and muffle his sobs of humiliation and pain. Inu noticed the movement, however, and decided to do something new. He stood up and grabbed Miroku by the hair. Miroku shrieked from surprise. "Come on bitch, crawl." he whispered into the monk's face before yanking viciously in the direction of the door. Miroku had no choice but to follow him, panting but trying his hardest not to drool and get any more blood on the carpet than he could help. When Miroku realized they were headed toward the bedroom, he didn't know what to do. Would Inu rape him like this? Miroku didn't want his baby to have to see his father doing something like that, no matter how stupid or sentimental that sounded. He wanted his baby to know only love. Miroku began crying in earnest now, blindly stumbling down the hallway on his battered knees and aching arms, ignoring the carpet chaffing his already raw hands.

Inu tossed him messily onto the bed. "Well, my little pillow-biting whore, we'll just see how much you can take." Then he pushed Miroku's bleeding face into one of their beautiful pink pillows. At first, Miroku felt ashamed for soiling the beddings with his worthless blood, but then he became much more worried about the fact that he couldn't breath. The pressure on his head did not relent. Soon his sobs turned into hyperventilating gasps for air, air that he could not get. His sore arms pounded against the mattress, the bed, and even, he feared, against Inu. His hearing went out, he saw nothing but darkness, he started losing the feeling in his arms and legs. But he did not get the relief of oblivion, for just as he was about to pass out, Inu yanked him up by the hair and threw him unceremoniously against the wall.

"FUCK YOU!"he screamed, slamming the door and leaving the room. Miroku had slumped against the wall, trying desperately to refill his lungs. Nausea swiftly overcame him, and he threw up all over the floor and his pants. But then he heard something glorious; the front door slammed and the car pulled out of the driveway. Thank God!

Miroku painstakingly clawed his way over to the phone. His hands were so weak and shaky he could barely pick up the receiver, much less dial. After waiting for what felt like an hour, Miroku slowly dialed 911.

"Hello. This is Miroku and I live at 1007 Flower Meadow Lane. Yes, um. I seem to have tripped outside and I landed in a ditch. Yes. If I could please get an ambluance, that would be great; I'm pretty beat up, I mean! I hurt myself pretty badly. Yes, thank you so much!"

Miroku then passed out against the nightstand.

He woke hours later in the hospital. Cracking open an eye, he saw a bright burst of carnations in a vase next to the bed. No card.

"Inuyasha." he sighed, voice cracking from all the crying he had done earlier.

Carnations were their special flower. His first homecoming in high school, Inuyasha had bought Miroku the most beautiful carnation corsage, even though Miroku's parents had forbid Miroku from going with Inuyasha; they were so not supportive of the "gay" thing. But eventually, Inuyasha had won them over, always coming to help his mom bake cookies or to learn about the stock market from his dad. Carnations meant that Inu loved him, that he was sorry, that they would be together forever.

Before Miroku could fall back asleep, Inu came in the room, showered and fresh.

"Baby, you know I'm sorry. I promise you I will never drink ever again."

No matter how many times Miroku heard those words, they were still just as beautiful.

"Darling, I know. I saw the carnations." Miroku reached for his husband's hand.

"When we get out of here, I'm going to take you out to dinner. It's been so long since we've been, hasn't it, babe?" Inu crooned as he nuzzled a small patch of unmarred skin on Miroku's neck, "Then after that, we can make it Miroku Pleasure Night, right, baby? Just like old times? When we were kids. just fucking until the break of dawn, right, you lovely little minx, you!"

Miroku simply purred. This was the man he loved, the father of his baby. he didn't deserve all this.

"Oh, Inuyasha, that sounds great." he didn't bother to mention that he was so sore he probably wouldn't be able to engage in any bedroom activity for at least a couple of days. "And I think after that dinner I have some news I want to share with you too."

"Anything you want, baby." And Inu held his hand as he fell back asleep.

THE END