Beloved: Sooooo, do we get to—
Sunrise: NOOOOO!!!!! NOTHING. ABOUT. BUTTS!!!!!
Beloved: You don't know that was what I was going to ask.
Sunrise: Yes. I do.
Beloved: How do you know?
Sunrise: *coolly and calmly* Because you ask about it every chance you get.
Beloved: I do no—
Sunrise: Don't even think about finishing that sentence.
Beloved: But—
Sunrise: I MEAN IT.
Beloved: Oooooh, lookey here!
Sunrise: What?
Beloved: It's a picture of the Backstreet Boys, shirtless and soaking wet.
Sunrise: *trying to keep from looking at the beeee-utiful picture* That is just a low blow, Beloved. At least I don't think about them all the time.
Beloved: Yes you do.
Sunrise: No I don—
Beloved: Yes. You. Do.
Sunrise: *looks around room and finds picture of incredibly cute asses* Here ya go.
Beloved: AAAAAHHHHH!!!!! *snatches pictures and drools over it*
Sunrise: Proves my point. Beloved? Beloved? BELOVED??? Oh, well. Here goes…
THINGS GONE AWRY IN THE UNIVERSE--PAST, PRESENT, AND FUTURECHAPTER 10 – THE ASSIGNMENT
"So, can you make him look like this?" Kathryn handed a padd to B'Elanna.
The half-Klingon grinned. "Oh, yeah."
"Then let's do it."
********
Ensign Jacob Mazowa entered sickbay, cradling his left arm.
"Doctor, I've got a deep cut on my arm. Can you heal it for me so I can get back to my duties?"
"Of course." Mazowa looked up from his injured limb as the Doctor turned, and was rendered speechless.
The Doctor was completely bald. His entire head was painted white, with an oval of red around his green lips. His teeth were a rainbow of colors, alternating from purple to red to orange to yellow to green to blue. On each of his cheeks, there was a round splotch of bright yellow. His eyelids were bright pink, with orange between his lids and his purple brows. A thin blue line ran across his forehead from one temple to the other.
"Um, Doc…" Mazowa trailed off, his eyes widening. As he'd begun to speak, the Doctor had turned to retrieve a dermal regenerator, and the Ensign had caught sight of the words written across his back in small, brightly lit neon lights.
It read:
"DO NOT SAY A WORD ABOUT THIS TO THE DOCTOR, OR RISK THE TERRIBLE WRATH OF A DECAFFIENATED AND PREGNANT CAPTAIN KATHRYN JANEWAY, THE HALF-KLINGON CHIEF ENGINEER B'ELANNA TORRES-PARIS, AND THE ALSO DECAFFIENATED ALSO PREGNANT SWORD-FIGHTING SARA PEZZINI-NOTTINGHAM. NOT TO MENTION THEIR HENPECKED HUSBANDS—A POWERFULLY MUSCLED COMMANDER, A FLYBOY WITH EXTREMELY GOOD SKILLS IN PROGRAMMING DANGEROUS AND DEADLY CREATURES INTO HOLOPROGRAMS, AND A TRAINED ASSASSIN WHO HOLDS THE HIGHEST DEGREE BLACK BELT IN EVERY KIND OF MARTIAL ARTS THAT EXISTS. AND ONE MORE THING—YOU'D BE SURPRISED WHAT A PREGNANT WOMAN CAN DO WHEN SHE'S PISSED OFF. ESPECIALLY WHEN SHE'S YOUR BOSS. THANK YOU. OH, AND HAVE A NICE DAY."
Mazowa swallowed hard, forced a frightened smile, and said, "Never mind." The moment his treatment was through, he was out the door as if he'd been shot from an old-fashioned cannon.
He never looked back.
As he made his hasty exit, Lieutenant Katrina Rosenna came into sickbay. The look on the Ensign's face was comical. What was going on with him?
She turned to face the holographic physician. "Um, hey, Doc..."
********
Kathryn came up behind Sara quietly. "How's it going?"
"What? Oh, uh, great. Everyone's come out of sickbay looking like they're both scared out of their minds and trying really, really hard not to laugh."
Kathryn grinned wickedly. "Good. It's working."
"Yeah," Sara said distractedly, staring down at the Witchblade.
"What is going on with you?" she murmured softly.
"What's the matter?"
Sara didn't answer. The Witchblade was warm on her wrist, and she could feel it tightening a little. She shook her head. It seemed that every time Kathryn came near her, the Witchblade pulled this. Sometimes, it would show her a partial vision. She'd gotten several different pieces of a full vision, but hadn't yet managed to decipher it.
She sometimes saw two hands, sometimes the Witchblade in bracelet form. It was strange, though—she could swear that the bracelet she saw was somehow different from the one she wore now.
"Sara?"
Sara jerked out of her daze. "Nothing…nothing. I'm fine."
Kathryn looked at her strangely for a moment, but then started to chuckle softly as she watched another crewman, who looked both tickled and terrified, walk by very quickly on his way from sickbay.
Sara began to laugh silently, her shoulders shaking.
"Are you sure we should be terrorizing them like this?" she managed to get out.
Kathryn shrugged, grinning. "Oh, they need to be shook up a bit every now and then."
They looked at each other, and both burst out laughing.
********
Beloved: Ow.
Sunrise: Serves you right. I proved my point, didn't I?
Beloved: Did not.
Sunrise: *pours water over picture Beloved is still clutching and Beloved shrieks, wailing in pain*
Beloved: HOW COULD YOU DO THAT?!?!?!?!?! *wipes furiously at picture, mopping up the water*
Sunrise: Quit while you're ahead. You can't save it. Besides, there're more copies around here somewhere. I'm not telling you where, though.
Beloved: WHERE WHERE WHERE WHERE WHERE?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
Sunrise: Oh, boy. I shouldn't have said that.
Beloved: WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERE???????????????????????????????????