Author's Note 2: Hi everybody. Sooooo sorry it took so long for us to update this story. I, Beloved, managed to lose a very large chunk of the papers that we had many of our future chapters written down on. I finally found it just a few days ago, and was delighted to see that all of our planned-out stuff was perfectly intact. Then, Sunrise and I realized, much to our chagrin, that we actually had had at least three chapters all typed up – complete with our crazy little conversation thingies – and ready to post. Aren't we bright? Of course, the fault lies with me, Beloved, because the files were on my computer. I am surprised that Sunrise has allowed me to continue holding our original copies hostage here at my house. Don't tell her I said that. SUNRISE: I'm right here, you idiot. I know what you said. (evil grin & maniacal laugh) BELOVED: (shudders) Oookay, folks, well I gotta run now – there's the little detail of me needing to escape Sunrise's wrath. SUNRISE: I'd advise you to run. Fast. BELOVED: All righty then – GOTTA GO! BYE! (shoots off at top speed)
(Sunrise watches her go, sits down, and relaxes, knowing that Beloved will return once she realizes that she's not actually being chased. another evil grin. There is the sound of Beloved squealing fearfully in the distance, then blissful silence. For now.)
Beloved: Allllllllll right…I think we should do the next chapter on butts.
Sunrise: What is it with you and that particular part of the male anatomy?
Beloved: (assumes purely innocent look) What're you talking about?
Sunrise: WHAT AM I— (calms herself, rolls her eyes) You know exactly what I'm talking about.
Beloved: Umm, no I don't.
Sunrise: I'M TALKING ABOUT YOUR OBSESSION WITH BUTTS!
Beloved: Ooooohhhhh. So that's what you mean. Hmm. I guess you're right.
Sunrise: I always am.
Beloved: Wanna bet!
Sunrise: Sure. (grins evilly)
Beloved: (in small voice) Never mind. (grins) How 'bout those Backstreet Boys?
Sunrise: They are so adorable! And cute—have you seen that picture where they're soaking wet and you can see through their T-shirts—never mind. Point taken.
Beloved: You know, I have to agree…
Sunrise: Now don't you start up on me again!
Beloved: (raises hands in defeat) Fine, fine, let's talk about—Sunrise? ...Sunrise? SUNRISE! (waves hand in front of an oblivious Sunrise, who is murmuring something about a certain Backstreet Boys picture as her voice gets more and more faint and her expression becomes more and more distant…)
An hour later…
Beloved: Suuuuuuunriiiiiise. (sighs) Oh, well. I guess I'll write this chap—
Sunrise: (coming out of trance and tackling Beloved before she can reach the paper and pencils beside her) Ooooohhh, no you don't! Last time I let you do that, we had to revise the chapter five times!
Beloved: (crossing arms stubbornly) That's only because you didn't like the repetitive use of the words "nice ass," "cute ass," and "bad-ass".
Sunrise: Well, can you blame me?
Beloved: (glaring daggers) Yes. I can.
Sunrise: If you're gonna have that obsession, please entertain it elsewhere, at least until we're finished with this story and/or chapter.
Beloved: (in delight) Hey! Look at this picture I found on the Internet!
Sunrise: What? What is it?
Beloved: Men's jeans advertisement. Butts. Need I say more?
Sunrise: (sighs and grabs pillow, whomping Beloved on head. Hard.) No. You needn't. I've heard enough of that, thank you very much.
Beloved: Well, excuuuuuse me.
Sunrise: Now, back to where we were before you decided to wander off somewhere else in search of food for your fantasies. Ah, that's right—our story.
Beloved: And the butts! Don't forget the butts!
Sunrise:muttering: How could I forget? Now, we were saying…
THINGS GONE AWRY IN THE UNIVERSE -- PAST, PRESENT, AND FUTURE
Chapter 11 - The Paddle Incident
One of them—none could remember who—had suggested a ping-pong tournament on the holodeck. So, here they were, Sara, Kathryn, and B'Elanna on one side, and Ian, Chakotay, and Tom on the other. They were launching the plastic balls at one another with a vengeance, and there were no signs that it would stop any time soon. Thwap! The ball came off of Ian's paddle and Sara had to duck to avoid being hit squarely between the eyes with the small white projectile. She stalked around the table to Ian's position, and he unconsciously backed up a step.
"You did that on purpose!" she cried.
Ian swallowed nervously. "N-no I didn't!"
In the next moment, he found himself pressed to the wall, Sara's knee wedged between his legs and her hand…
"Oh!"
Sara just grinned.
"Now, did you do it on purpose?"
He nodded, his eyes bulging.
She backed away slowly. "Good boy. I always knew you were a smart one!"
"Yes, Mother," Ian muttered under his breath, hiding a smile.
"Oh, you!" THWACK! Sara's paddle met with Ian's ass, and the resulting look on both their faces was enough to set the other two couples to laughing. Ian had a pinched, pained look on his face. Sara was staring down at her paddle—both pieces. A sly grin came over her face as she looked from paddle to tight ass to paddle again. The men exchanged worried glances as all three women now looked from the paddles they held to their husbands and back.
Slowly, three evil grins spread over three mischievous faces.
ΩΩΩΩΩΩΩ
The sickbay doors slid open to admit three males who were walking with distinct limps. The Doctor came up beside them.
"What in the world happened to you?" he asked.
Chakotay, Ian, and Tom all looked at each other, embarrassed, then spoke one at a time.
"Holodeck."
"Ping-pong paddles."
"Our wives."
Turning to Tom, the Doctor said, "I would expect this with you, Lieutenant, but you two…never mind."
Dirty looks were sent his way as he turned away for a moment.
"I will have to note this in your medical records, as well as my daily log."
The three men nodded and remained silent as the Doctor healed their "injuries," carefully keeping his expression neutral.
ΩΩΩΩΩΩΩ
That night, they slept in Chakotay's office, Chakotay in his desk chair, and Tom and Ian crammed onto the small couch.
All the next day, three women went around the ship with wicked grins on their faces.
Everyone below the rank of Captain did their best to stay away from them.
ΩΩΩΩΩΩΩ
AN3: We will attempt to update soon, but Sunrise is now working full-time, and her internet is down, so it's left up to me, Beloved, to take care of things. Not very reassuring, right? Yeah, that's what I thought, too. So, yeah, we'll try. Hope you all enjoy reading this chapter as much as we enjoyed writing it! Please review to let us know how we're doing, or just to let us know that you're still actually reading this crazy fanfic. ;) Thanks!