Titel: Trust

Summary: Sakura likes Syaoran, but convinced herself of the opposite, when she figures out, he doesn't trust her at all. While capturing the cards, and living her hard life, Syaoran has to seek the truth behind all the mess. SS ET R&R

Disclaimer: I don't own CCS. Even if I said I did, you wouldn't believe me anyway. Hell, I wouldn't even believe that myself, I'm not that brilliant…! XD

Answering reviews:

FlowerLover: Eh… I don't know yet… haven't thought about it yet (eheh…) Besides, she has to capture every single card first… We'll see when the story continues, kej?

Gwyn15: Thank you! How did the permit test go? Hope it went well…!

Kawaiiseeker987: Thanx! Sooo glad you thought it was touching! Wai, I'm so happy! XD

CherryBlossom34: Thank you! Thank you! I sure will!

Chapter four

Trying So Hard To Hate Him

'Syaoran, wait up!' Eriol called, as he ran at the silhouette that was supposed to be Syaoran. It was six in the morning, and both boys were going early to school for soccer training.

'Morning, Eriol… What's wrong? You look a bit pale to me.' Syaoran greeted his friend.

Eriol indeed looked pale, because of the lack of sleep the previous night. He had way to many worries on his mind to take a nice long nap. He snorted. 'If your family wasn't this strict, I could have set aside all worries and sleep for maybe even a minute…'

Syaoran frowned. 'If you are worried, then something very bad has to be going on. You're the most relaxed guy I ever met, you know.'

Eriol sighed deeply, and Syaoran softened his voice. 'Care to tell me?'

'Sure.' Eriol said. 'That's why I came today anyway… I am way to tired to play soccer today. Last night I summoned Ruby and Suppy to check out on your girl.'

'S…sh..she isn't my girl!' Syaoran interrupted, but Eriol didn't listen and continued his story.

'They went in her room, to search for clues, but she was able to sense us, and her aura flared in alarm. With that aura we felt all sorts of things. For example, I found the source of her power, and it was as I suspected… and feared.

It were the Clowcards, the one that Clow Reed had created to give an use to all of his powers. This means Sakura is the Card mistress, and the yellow creature that you saw, was Keroberos, Guardian of the Seal, and one of Sakura's protectors.'

Syaoran inhaled sharply. 'The Clowcards… That is not good news, now is it? Aren't the cards designed by Clow Reeds crooked mind, not being able to be used by anyone else then himself? Aren't they dangerous to capture?' He stomped himself on the head. 'Stupid question, of course it is dangerous.'

'You're right, they are dangerous. But Clow Reed had assigned a Card mistress for the future, when he had seen in a vision that the cards would scatter around. With her, he had created various protectors, of whom Keroberos is one.

The others are Yue, who I have yet to find, and the two reincarnations of Clow Reed himself. That's me and one of her parents, who are both dead. If only I wasn't so stupid to "turn off" my powers, I would have sensed her, and been able to help her from the beginning or at least since when we transferred to this town.

But now, that's to late…

What ever she heard, from us, or from someone else, she has lost her trust in everyone, except for Touya and Keroberos.'

Syaoran hung his had down. 'I don't know, Eriol. We didn't really said something wrong, did we? Listening to our entire conversation, it made pretty much sense.'

'Maybe she didn't hear the entire conversation, then. Oh, I don't know either…' Eriol answered. They were both silent for a while. They walked the usual route to the school, right now passing Tomoeda Elementary, on which lots of classmates had been to. The school were Rika's, much older, boyfriend was a teacher at.

An idea struck Syaoran. 'If you are one of the so-called protectors, and the Clowcards are a family-matter, then haven't you failed in your task?' he putted a finger on his chin, doubtful looking in the sky. 'I wonder what mother thinks of that…'

Eriol jerked back a bit, waving with his arms around him. 'Ah! No! Don't tell Yelen yet! I think she is going to kill me if she figures out!'

Dryly, Syaoran remarked 'If she doesn't do so, the elders surely will.' Seeing Eriol begging him not to tell, using the "puppy-dog-eyes-technique", made him see another site of him.

'I won't tell, of course not. But you're not acting as yourself Hiiragizawa Eriol. At least pretend that nothing is wrong, and the elders, nor my mother would suspect anything. Just pretend that you have everything under control, and that you know everything, like you normally do.'

Eriol eyebrows raised.

Syaoran hurried to continue 'And if they do figure out the appearance of the Card mistress, you can just say you had everything under control.'

Eriol nodded. 'I guess so. That is how I usually work when I'm not so sure about something.'

'You do have everything under control, right? I mean, Sakura isn't in danger right now?'

'There is no danger right now, and there won't be if I can help it. Or you…' Eriol said honestly, escaping the first question.

'Alright then…'

They entered the schoolyard by now, but before going to change in the soccer outfits, Syaoran held Eriol back for a moment.

'One more thing. What would mother or the elders do with Sakura if they figure out?'

Eriol looked at his descendant, of whom he could see the worry clear in his eyes. He didn't want to tell him, but then again, if one of the options happened in the end, there would only be another one that would be very angry with him.

'Various things. They could take her cards away, or betroth her to one of the family members, probably you. They would do everything possible to bring the cards in the Li-clan once more.'

Syaoran swallowed and went a bit pale. 'That means, that if I gain her trust again, if she really lost that, that she would lose it immediately again, when I tell her this. And I surely can't keep it a secret from her.'

Eriol gave him a reassuring pinch on the shoulder, and then walked in the changing rooms, leaving Syaoran standing there, worried as hell.

xxxxx

Kero patted Sakura's shoulder, in attempt to wake her up. 'Sakura-chan! It's the second day of school already! Rise and shine!'

Sakura didn't budge and stayed asleep. 'Sakura! Oh, come on, Sakura-chan! I'm hungry!' Kero wailed.

'No, don't wanna…!' Sakura wailed sleepily at her little friend.

'Sakura-chan…'

Sakura looked up, hearing that sad voice of Kero. 'Alright! I'll go…' She said, getting up from her bed. She washed herself, putted her school uniform on, brushed her hair and walked downstairs.

She was certainly not as energetic as usual, and Touya frowned as his little sister came downstairs, without the usual noise. This way he couldn't even call her a kaijuu with reason…! 'Morning, shorty.' Just another name instead, I guess…

'Morning Touya!' She said in a fake happy voice.

Okay, so it didn't sound fake, but Touya knew her long enough to see through all her acts. She is just trying to make me feel alright, instead of herself…

'Here, I made you breakfast. You should eat some, you still look a bit pale.' Touya remarked bluntly.

Sakura's face fell a bit. 'Hai, nii-san. What do you want for dinner tonight?' she tried to change the subject.

'Whatever you want. Yukito comes to eat, so make enough. We'll be here around seven.'

'Okay.'

While they ate their breakfast, they fell silent. Touya had no idea what to say anymore, for Sakura's cheerfulness was completely gone, and an eerie feeling entered the room.

xxxxx

Syaoran walked to the classroom, later then usual. Soccer training took longer then usual, and there for, he was almost late for his first class of this day. When he turned the corner before their classroom, he almost bumped into Sakura.

'Ohayo, Sakura.' Syaoran greeted, maybe a bit different then the regular greeting.

Sakura was looking down, as if she couldn't walk without looking at the ground. She didn't look at him, didn't say hello, or anything else. She had a smile on her face, but somehow, it seemed gloomy and eerie. Those two words just radiated from her, as cheerful as she pretended to be.

She walked into the class, taking seat at her regular chair, and didn't bother to greet the others.

Syaoran waited in the hall for a moment, trying to master the emotions running through him. She really has changed in a mere day. She lost trust in her friends…in me…in just a day, maybe even less then a day…

He walked into the class, and saw his friends looking at him, motioning with their heads to Sakura, who sat in front of them, so she couldn't see it. He nodded barely noticeable, and sat directly behind Sakura, as usual.

Class began, but he couldn't focus at all, at least, not on what the teacher tried to tutor them. He decided that in the break, he had to talk to her, had to make sure what was going on. But somewhere, not so very deep inside, he already knew.

She had heard them, him and Eriol, talking. And somehow, that had made her in her present state of mind. He cursed himself. He had to make this up with her. He just had to.

xxxxx

It was break, and the current class where Syaoran was in, became empty. He hurried outside the class, to the class where Sakura was supposed to be. But when he got there, she was already gone.

Strange, for normally, she was the last to leave the room.

He hurried to search for her, but he couldn't find her. Not in the aula, not outside, not on all the spots where they used to be. Not even with the cherry blossom tree.

He mentally slapped himself. Of course not there! There is where it all started in the first place.

When he couldn't find her, he gave up for the moment, and joined his friends. They all looked at him, as if he had to explain something.

'Syaoran, tell us what's wrong with Sakura-chan?' Rika pleaded.

'Please Syaoran! Eriol is mean and doesn't want to tell!' Chiharu wailed.

'Hey! I don't know anything about it, that's what I said! Don't change my words.' Eriol grumbled back.

Syaoran was just about to say that he didn't know anything about it as well, when he was interrupted by an all to familiar voice.

'Li Syaoran, I need to talk to you.' Sakura said from behind them.

The group of friends was a bit startled. No one had see her approach them. Syaoran turned to see her. The smile she wore in the morning, had now disappeared. She just looked… well, empty.

'Sure.' He said, as he followed her away from the rest.

She led him to the roof, where there were no student at the moment.

xxxxx

Chiharu exchanged worried glances with Takashi, as Rika was pondering over a solution to make Sakura happy again. Naoko tried to cheer everyone up, and changed the subject.

'Oh, yes, Tomoyo! I was wondering, could you design…' Naoko looked around. Tomoyo had just been beside her a moment ago.

'Now, where did she go…?'

Eriol heard that, and suddenly his eyes grew large for a moment. He stood up, saying: 'I'll be right back.'

Naoko nodded and watched him run off in seemingly no specific direction.

xxxxx

They stood on the roof for a moment. It was cold, but Sakura didn't seemed to be affected by it. She didn't say anything for a moment, and Syaoran was about to begin the conversation himself.

'I need you to promise me something.' Sakura said before he could even begin to form a sentence in his mind.

'Sure. What is it?' he asked, wondering how he could let her understand what had happened, how he could let her explain a bit to.

'You have to be quiet about what you know about me. NO ONE may ever know about this. It's worse enough that you told Hiiragizawa already.' She turned to look at him, her eyes emotionless and cold at the same time.

'… I will make sure you regret it, if you do tell anyone. This goes for Hiiragizawa too.'

The sentence hung in the air for a moment. 'Well, do you promise?'

'On one condition.' Syaoran said, an idea forming in his head.

'You are not in the position to make the rules, Li.' Sakura bit back coldly.

He cringed a bit. That hurts…but he told her his condition anyway. 'Tell me… Why are you so mad? Why do you act this way? Is… is it my fault?'

Sakura looked at him and saw the emotion in his eyes. But she didn't budge. She walked those few steps, until she stood directly in front of him and…

…slapped him.

Hard…

'I despise you, Li, I hate you.' She growled.

'I trust you to keep your promise, Li!' She laughed a bit without humor and mumbled: 'I guess I just picked the wrong word on that sentence…'

She walked away from him, off the roof, downstairs, where he was sure he couldn't find her again.

Syaoran put his hand on his cheek. It burned a bit. She had really hit him hard, but that was not the thing that hurt him the most.

She will never call my name again…

She won't laugh at me anymore…

She will never look at me with those beautiful eyes ever again…

She despises me…

Hates me…

What have I done? He questioned himself. The truth was, he was not really sure what he had done. He had explained everything in the conversation with Eriol, and it wasn't that bad what he had said. Maybe she hated me from the beginning, and only showed it today, because we know of her secret.

But then why did she cry yesterday?

xxxxx

Sakura sat in a quiet place in the schoolyard. She had found this place in her first year here, and she sat here often when she needed to be alone, to think or to study. It was a beautiful place in the summer, but now it was gloomy, just the same as she felt. Hidden from the main yard, this little field was never visited, not even by the school-gardener. It was wild, and in the spring and summer, it had lots and lots of flowers.

Here, no one would disturb her, and here, she was crying her heart out.

Slap…

She had slapped him, for such a lousy reason.

I despise you, Li, I hate you.

It was such a blunt thing to say, such a big lie.

I hate myself now…

That came more to the truth.

But what else could she have done? She was on the edge of a mayor breakdown, and she couldn't do that in front of him. She defended herself, by letting him think that she hated him, that she despised him. More important, she had defended her cards.

She had made herself angry, so she wouldn't break down, and hit him, so he wouldn't notice the threat of tears in her eyes.

At that moment she had almost convinced herself to really hate him.

But she just couldn't do that.

For all those years, she had admired him, liked him and even loved him.

A lack of trust doesn't change these feelings in the opposite direction. It takes much more to hate him, if that is possible.

I don't hate him, I'm just very angry with him, can't even trust him anymore.

But! Although I can't say I hate him, I surely don't love him anymore…! Heck, I don't even like him anymore!

This is what she was saying to her own mind, as tears still streamed down her face. But she was sure, that no matter how much it hurt, this was the right thing to do. And besides, it was already the past, it couldn't be undone anyhow.

The cards were save for the moment, Syaoran and Eriol wouldn't talk, that she knew for sure. It was just, that she made her own problems worse. If Syaoran ever saw her as a friend, he sure wouldn't see her as that anymore. It wouldn't surprise her if he hated her now.

I lost him forever, and I did that all by myself…

xxxxx

Eriol had walked away from the aula, trying to sense the aura of Tomoyo. He picked it up, as it was very strong at the moment, as if she was very emotional right now. He followed the sense of her aura, until he saw her.

His jaw dropped for a moment when he realized what she was doing, and what she probably has done for as long as she had been going to this school.

He closed it and then sniggered. Mystery solved! I guess I still have a chance with her in the end. This could be interesting…

He created a magical strand and placed it between his own aura and hers. Now he would always know where she was. He turned and left her there, so she wouldn't notice yet, that he knew her secret.

Very interesting indeed…

xxxxx

It was already evening, and Syaoran sat at home. He didn't feel all to well.

He didn't ate anything, let the phone ring without answering, and was just being depressed. He had to sort out his own thoughts, if he wanted to get over this, over her.

He didn't really notice what happened around him, and was quite surprised when suddenly Meilin stood in front of him.

'Syaoran! What's wrong with you? I called you many times, and even rang the doorbell twice! I'm so glad I have a key to your house, or else you never let me in!' Meilin whined.

Syaoran looked up, to meet his cousins eyes, and saw them change from angry to extremely worried.

'Syaoran! What happened? You… you look awful! I heard you skipped school after lunch, why? What happened! Syaoran, answer me!'

'It isn't of your concern, Meilin. Please leave me for the moment. I need to think.'

'What? But Syao…'

'Now, Meilin!' Syaoran interrupted, his voice filled with power.

She snorted. 'Fine! But I'll come by in the morning, before school, to see if you're alright. And don't even think about going against that!' She screeched.

'Whatever, just go now… I'll see you tomorrow.' Syaoran said calmly, which agitated Meilin even more, as he knew. She turned around and walked out of the room, closing the door with a bang.

Syaoran sighed and went to that thinking state again.

It was already past midnight, when he came to his senses.

He had decided.

If Sakura hates me that much, then it can't be helped. I'll leave her alone, and don't bother her ever again.

Except, when she needs my help, or if she is in danger, I will be there for her nonetheless. I will always be by her side, but she won't see me anymore, except for classes.

And most important, I will never ever do anything of any sort behind her back, concerning her, ever again.

That's right…

I still love her…!

xxxxx

Wai! That was difficult to write… I thought I had finished it, but I forgot some things… so wheelp, I had to change some parts…

But all well now, this chapter is finished! Wai!

Oh, and forgive, but updating will go slowly, from now on. You see, I have found a job (wai) but it's six days a week, from 10.30 till 21.00 at least… so I have really not much time on my hands anymore! But don't worry, I won't abandon this fic, not in this life time!

I'll just work extra hard! Wai for me!

Wai!

Thank you for the reviews! I really really really really really really really really really really really really appreciate it! Really…!

So you can review again with this chapter…! Heheh the more reviews, the harder I work, the sooner I'll update… heheh

That's so evil… but hey, that's just me XD

Kawaii-animal