Titel: Trust

Summary: Sakura likes Syaoran, but convinced herself of the opposite, when she figures out, he doesn't trust her at all. While capturing the cards, and living her hard life, Syaoran has to seek the truth behind all the mess. SS ET R&R

Disclaimer: noooooo I don't own CCS, of course!

Answering reviews:

FlowerLover: whaha… what would she be doing… whaha Like I'm gonna tell you that! Just read for now, and you'll figure out soon enough…. XD

Ohohen: hehe. Try as much as you want, I certainly don't mind! And thank you!

Gwyn15: Congratulations! And thank you for liking my story so much! Wai!

May: I'm updating as fast as I could, but it is really hard to find the time now, so please have patience! But thank you for wanna know what will happen! Wai!

Chapter Five

Who are our allies?

Syaoran woke up early that morning, fully awake by the sound of a certain person running through the house. He groaned, as he sat upright, waiting until Meilin would storm into his sleeping room.

He didn't have to wait long.

'Syaoran! Wake up! I've made you breakfast, so hurry up and eat it!' Meilin screamed happily, while she was holding a plate with something that she called a breakfast. She planted it on his lap, and he stared at it, wondering if he could somehow pretend to eat it, instead of really eating it. It looked really horrible.

But looking at Meilin, he knew that she had put all her effort in it, and that she actually knew this meal wasn't the best. So he focused on something else, and ate it slowly, not thinking about the taste.

When he was finally finished, Meilin wanted an explanation about his condition the day before, after she checked him four times over, to see if he was okay this time.

'I'm really okay, Meilin! Stop touching me!' he said after the second time, but she didn't stop until she was really really sure, that he was really really okay.

'So tell me, what happened?' Meilin asked in a demanding voice.

'Meilin, do you really have to ask? You know pretty well, that I'm not going to tell you that anyway.' Syaoran said. But though he sounded determined for not telling her anything, she continued nonetheless.

'I really do have to ask, since you are not telling it to me willingly! And you are so going to tell me what happened! For God's sake, Syaoran! We're betrothed, you should trust me!'

He snorted and said: 'Betrothed, eh?'

Meilin grew angry. 'Yes we are betrothed! Don't say we are not, don't even think we are not!' She wined.

Raising his hands in a I-give-up position, Syaoran quickly spoke, before Meilin would probably really cry. 'I didn't say we weren't! If I have to marry someone, I might as well marry you…'

Meilin's face fell now. 'Wh…what do you mean? Since when do you accept this? What about… Sakura?'

Syaoran looked at her, and she could see the pain in his eyes. 'I'm not accepting it, and I'm not promising anything to you. But Sakura certainly isn't an option anymore.' He paused for a moment. 'Ehm… Since when do you know about that? I never told you that… that…'

'Hehe…' Meilin sweat dropped a bit. 'That was quite obvious. I know you for my entire life, I know when you like someone else.'

She sat beside him, and pulled him into her arms. 'So you lost her, didn't you?'

Syaoran nodded weakly in her arms, afraid, as always, to show his weaker emotions.

'It's okay, Syao-kun, you may cry.' Meilin voice reached his ears, and somehow, he couldn't hold back tears anymore. He cried in her arms, holding on to her like he was losing his life.

He cried for about an hour, and somehow, it felt good. He had never cried before, except that time, so long ago, when his father died. After that tragic moment, he never wanted to cry again, because he linked the crying from back then, to the pain he felt of losing his father. He was little, and so he thought, that if he didn't cry anymore, he wouldn't feel the pain again. When he grew older, he knew that it didn't work like that, but he didn't cry nonetheless.

When the tears ceased, it was almost time to go to school, and Meilin helped him to let the track of tears disappear. They walked to school together, not talking anymore. There was a deep silence, a comfortable silence, both lost in their own thoughts.

Syaoran secretly thanked Meilin, for not forcing herself on him, but instead of that, helping him, letting him cry.

Meilin's thoughts were following a much deeper road, as she sorted out her own feelings.

xxxxx

School was the same as usual, except for the fact that there was an eerie atmosphere. The teachers felt it, but pretended that nothing was wrong. Sakura avoided the others, and somehow managed to disappear constantly. The group of friends didn't laugh as much anymore, though some just tried to forget it all, and to make a bit more cheerful days.

Sakura went home earlier, never lingering behind anymore. Her face still looked empty, emotionless. When she had to talk to someone, like one of the teachers, she put on her fake smile again, which fooled most of them.

Syaoran hardly smiled, tried his best not to look at her, and avoid her. Avoiding her wasn't so hard, for she avoided him as well. He was very occupied, and didn't sleep often. He and Eriol researched the Li-clan library, to find more about the Clowcards, which cards still had to show themselves, their whereabouts and their strengths and weaknesses.

The days flew by, and before they knew it, a week had passed.

Strangely enough, in the middle of a math exam, they felt the power of another Clowcard. It was still weak, but it startled Syaoran and Eriol, who both couldn't imagine a worse moment.

Sakura looked up for a moment, her forehead frowning, her eyes concentrating, and then she continued to finish her math test.

This surprised the boys even more, who thought she would go after the card, but apparently, her math test was more important.

Syaoran and Eriol where, as was expected, the first to finish the test, and leave the room. The both ran to the place where they had felt the Clowcard, observing it and waiting for Sakura to come. Syaoran remarked that it was the Penguin Park, again.

It took her a while to come, it was obvious that she took her time for the exam. She ran into the forest, in a straight line to the not jet expecting card. Suddenly, she stopped, turned around as she had just passed them, and yelled: 'Go away, Li, Hiiragizawa! I have told you two to leave me alone!'

She ran further, as Eriol played a little trick with their aura's. For Sakura, it seemed as they were both leaving the forest, as she tried to sense their aura's. They both hid their real aura and silently followed Sakura deeper into the forest.

When she stopped again, their eyes grew a bit, seeing where they had been led to.

The scenery had changed completely. Where there was a forest a moment ago, there lay a wide stretched field of flowers before them. It seemed endless, and Syaoran whispered to Eriol. 'I didn't know there was a place like this in Tomoeda.'

'There isn't, if I'm correct.' He responded.

They saw Sakura running into the field, summoning her wand. They stayed in the forest, so she couldn't see them. But this did mean that they couldn't hear anything that happened there.

Strangely enough, nothing specific happened, or at least they couldn't see it. But Sakura obviously did saw something, for she was wielding her wand as a sword, swinging it at nothing in particular. Her face showed fear, and tears streamed freely from her eyes.

This went on for a moment, until she stopped and closed her eyes. The field disappeared slowly, changed in something else, whirling around Sakura. She called on one of her cards – they couldn't tell which one – and another whirl appeared. The whirls whirled around each other, until the last one won. Sakura raised her wand again, and shouted something. The first whirl changed shape again, this time in the form of a card, which flew directly to Sakura. She took it, and called the other card back.

It all seemed fine, but then Sakura fell down.

Syaoran and Eriol came a bit closer, still hiding their aura's, to help her if she needed that. She was breathing heavily, the wand changed into a key, and she just lied there for a moment. At that moment, Keroberos came, still in it's small form.

'Sakura! Are you alright?' He asked worriedly.

'Do I look alright?' She snapped. 'Where have you been? The card appeared more then an hour ago!' She sighed deeply as she saw Kero shrink under her harsh words. 'I'm sorry, Kero. It's just that I've seen some things I didn't want to see.'

'It's okay. Which card was it?' Kero tried to sound normal, but you could hear in his voice that he didn't liked to be spoken to, in that way.

'The Illusion.'

'Ah… then you have the right to be angry.' Kero's irritation disappeared completely, and worry grew once more. 'It's a dangerous card. You have to tell me, what have you seen?'

Sakura looked up at her little friend, not planning to talk. But seeing his serious and worried face, she knew it was important for him. 'First Mom and dad. At the moment they died, but ten times worse. At least, I think… I've never known how they died exactly. And then… Syaoran…' She swallowed hard. 'I killed him!' Tears streamed down her face now.

'It's okay, Sakura-chan. It's not real! The Illusion doesn't show you forecasts of the future, or something like that. It only shows you the things you fear, not the things that you might do in the future!'

'I know, I know! I hope so… But it seemed so real!' Sakura sounded really desperate.

Kero changed in his larger form, and gave her a big hug, while she dug her fingers in his fur. 'Come, lets go. Touya must be worried. His present chief doesn't let him go so easily.' Sakura nodded, as she climbed on his back. Kero flew away, carrying Sakura gently.

Syaoran and Eriol stayed behind, both not saying a word. After a few minutes, Syaoran finally spoke.

'Kill me, eh?' He had a relinquished kind a look on his face, like he didn't care at all. This startled Eriol.

He put an hand on his friends shoulder for comfort. 'Like Keroberos said, it didn't mean anything. She feared it. This means she absolutely does not want to kill you!' Eriol used firm words, but Syaoran didn't believe his friend that quickly.

'Eriol, we have read about The Illusion in the books. It only shows you things that were already playing in your mind. This means she has thought about it. Did think about killing me! That is something to worry about, now isn't it?'

'You don't look worried…' Eriol remarked dryly. But then became serious again. 'Look. That she thought about it, doesn't mean anything. When she figured out you didn't trust her anymore, I'm not surprised that she was very angry, and thought something like "I'm gonna kill that guy!" or something like that. You see? It doesn't have to mean anything.'

Syaoran still didn't looked convinced.

'Besides, you saw her tears. She can't possibly convince me of her wanting to kill you. No chance…'

Syaoran sighed. 'Maybe… you're right.'

'Of course I am. I'm always right.'

Syaoran raised a brow, as Eriol quickly turned around and mumbled something like: 'It's time to go…'

xxxxx

The time flew by. Mizuki, a good friend from Touya and their parents, celebrated her birthday, in the second week of February. It was nice for Sakura to get out again and forget all for a moment.

Mizuki though, did realize that something was wrong, and gave Sakura some well meant, not understood advises. Sakura thought she would figure out the meaning of those, at the right time, or to late, as usual.

Before the end of February, two more cards appeared, - The Sword and The Fight - and Syaoran and Eriol were both there to look after Sakura, in case that was needed. Both times, Touya came in the end, for he wasn't allowed to get near Sakura in the middle of the fight – Sakura's orders – and Kero was late as usual.

It made everyone worry, that the cards appeared this often, instead listening to the regular one-card-in-one-or-two-months-rule. Eriol thought, this happened because of the fact that one of the last protectors had appeared – himself – which supposed to make it easier to capture the cards.

Sakura, Kero and Touya, of course, didn't hear Eriol saying this, and were just completely worried.

Touya's birthday came and went, and the days grew harder for Sakura. Syaoran avoided her, and that bothered her a lot, even though she avoided him as well. He never did anything, and she wondered why.

He didn't show on which side he was, hers or not hers, to put it simply. He didn't help her, although she knew that he and Eriol had witnessed at least two captures. But he didn't stop her either. He never made advantage of the knowledge of her being the Card Captor.

And most strangely from all, he never questioned her and he even stood up for her.

To give a short and simple example, with brainstorming for one of the festivals activities in the summer, Sakura had an idea, which wasn't really appreciated by the rest of the class. And somehow, she found Syaoran standing up for her, adding some things to the idea – although he had to think very hard to come up with something - until everyone agreed. And most strange of all, he still gave all the credit to her. Without looking at her direction for even a second.

More cards came, The Shot, The Freeze, and The Power, and Sakura captured them all. Somehow, it seemed as if the cards stopped getting more difficult to catch. That wasn't the case though. Sakura caught them with more will power then before. Capturing the cards was one of the only things she still liked to do, and she putted all her energy and emotions in it. This frightened the cards a lot.

The group of friends, except for Sakura of course, had a double party for Eriols and Meilin's birthday. This was chance for all of them to laugh again, and especially Meilin put lots of effort in it, to make the best of it.

It saddened Sakura enormously, because her birthday was just a few days after theirs, and normally, this was one of those exception on the rules. On this time, all her friends were allowed to get to her house, and celebrate all three birthdays at the same time in one big party.

This year was a lonely birthday. Touya, Yukito, Kero and the cards tried to make the best of it, but it didn't work. On a certain moment, Sakura locked herself up in her bedroom, crying her tears out.

Because when she entered her bedroom, to close the window – it was raining outside – she found a little present on her windowsill. It was a single cherry blossom flower, with a note attached to it, reading: I'm sorry

Where did he get the flower from? Was the first thought running through her mind. A stupid question, who cared? But somehow that was the only thing she thought at that moment.

But then, she felt tears streaming down her face. She held the flower close to her heart, as she allowed herself to cry. It was very clear to her, that this little thing came from Syaoran.

What is he sorry for?

Sorry for what he said?

Sorry for what he did to me?

Sorry for not trusting me?

Syaoran…

Why…?

xxxxx

Syaoran walked home through the streaming rain. It was cold, but he forgot his coat. He felt terrible, guilty, sorry, and all that kind of feelings. It was Sakura's birthday, and he couldn't do anything. He went walking, just to clear his thoughts, when he had thought of something.

A present, just as they gave with Christmas, but then different. He ran to school, just to get one of the many cherry blossoms petals, hanging from his favorite tree. He picked out a large one, and quickly wrote a note.

As he had done every Christmas, he went to her windowsill, to put the flower there. She obviously didn't suspect anything, for the window was still open. When he left, he tried to feel better, but he hardly did. And to make it worse, it even began to rain…

xxxxx

Sakura had a headache from al that crying, but she went to school nonetheless. She silently observed Syaoran, at the moments he didn't see her, and she tried to figure him out.

Without results of course…

Syaoran never showed a sign that showed that he indeed, had put the flower there. He just avoided her, was silent and calm, as usual.

Sakura almost forgot that they knew her secret, and started to silently think of the options of them being on her side after all. But all those thought disappeared into nothing, when she recalled his phrase: 'I don't trust her…'.

The days didn't go so fast anymore. The cards came even sooner – one every two days – and she captured Firey and Storm, with the usual sufferings.

After a day of rest, the next card, the Thunder, came. This card was a bit more difficult, and Syaoran and Eriol secretly helped her when a tree was about to fall on top of her, without her knowing that.

Well, they might think that she didn't know, but she was very aware of the fact that they saved her, or at least helped her in some way. But she didn't show that to them, because somehow, she got the feeling that they wanted it to be a secret for her.

But this made Sakura decide something. Syaoran, and Eriol of course, weren't that bad. Somewhere, something went terribly wrong between the three of them, and now, she couldn't figure out who's fault this was to begin with. Her former friends had nothing to do with it, but they choose Syaoran's side, because Sakura was strange enough without all those extra problems. But she couldn't blame them, though, for doing so.

All together, they were in a strange situation. They had reached the point where nothing was certain. Everyone had doubts, and though it didn't make anything better, Sakura saw it as the beginning of the solution.

xxxxx

Meilin was sure now. There was only one thing to do, and that was exactly what she was going to do now. She walked towards her goal as fury raised in her chest.

xxxxx

Tomoyo was busy, as usual. She had discovered something, and she was pretty sure, she was the only one that was aware of that little fact. So she hastened herself to find Sakura, for she was the one that needed to know this. As always, Sakura was hard to find. But then again, Tomoyo never had any trouble finding her.

xxxxx

Syaoran and Eriol walked together, in the schoolyard, but Syaoran was not very cheerful.

'Alright, spill it out…' Eriol said dryly.

'Meilin is up to something!' Syaoran said in angry voice.

'So?'

'Every time when she is doing so, it means something not very positive is going to happen.'

'So?'

'Most of the times it involves me…'

'Ah.'

Syaoran looked angry at his so called friend. 'No 'Ah.', Eriol. It's probably serious. Last time I broke my leg!'

'Well, you did deserve that, you know.' He remarked dryly. 'If you're so worried, then why don't we look for her, and prevent any trouble?'

Syaoran frowned a bit. 'That usually also ends up in trouble.'

'I know, just show the way, okay?' Syaoran was very sure he saw an evil spark in Eriols eyes, but nodded nonetheless and leaded the way, following his cousins aura.

xxxxx

Sakura was in her secret place in the schoolyard, trying to relax. It was very silent, the rest of the school was to far off to hear. She lay flat on the ground, arms spread, staring at the clouds that were partly visible between the trees.

She was startled when she suddenly heard a voice.

xxxxx

Okay, no excuses… just an idiotic late update…

Thanx for the reviews though! Yokatta!