History Lesson

II.

"Who was president during the America Revolution?"

"Is this a trick question?"

In the past hour, Kaori had gotten very good at standing on her head.  This, however, did not amuse Mac.  His form had slouched, and he buried his head in his hands.  No good, she thought, no good.

She dropped to her feet and knocked, quite literally, on his skull.

"Anybody home?"  He sighed.  She sighed.

"Why does anyone need to know this stuff?"

"Hmm…good question." She paused, "Who was president during the America Re-"

"I dunno…" He glanced up, studying her face, "Jefferson."

"Wrong-o!" She said, wagging her finger at his exasperated face, "Trick question."

"I knew it!" He jumped up into her face, "I get that one right."

"No, you don't.  Who was the president?"

"There was no president."

"BIN-BO!" She cheered, took a five foot step back and pirouetted.  "Excellento!"

"Woo hoo!  Ten points!"

"Five, Ma-chan."

"Five?!" Mac exclaimed.  To recap, they had an hour and a half before Mr. Killinger would arrive at the hotel for class.  They sat in a private sitting room with a view to the slopes, where below, the other boarders raced.  Kaori had given up her slope time to tutor Mac.

Until that moment, he had felt guilty about spending the time she usually spent practicing.  And even though he felt grateful for her offer to tutor him, he hadn't caught anything in the past hour and she continually poked fun at him.  Five points may have been petty, but it had built for a while, and Mac felt he deserved at least that much extra.

"Five." Kaori repeated, almost firmly, but mostly playfully, "Go.  Cinco.  Cinq.  Ō."

"Ten." Mac stated, seriously.  And then, "Ten…times infinity!"

Kaori inflated her cheeks.  Mac laughed triumphantly.

         "Hah!  I win!"
         "No winning." Said his companion, slyly, "Unless you name…three people who signed the Declaration of Independent."

         Somewhere, someone answered.  Not Mac.  In fact, Mac looked as though someone had smacked him stupid in a drive-by.

         "Umm…Franklin…Hand-cock…and Moe?"  Mac flopped into his chair, defeated.  "It's no good, Kaori.  I'm doomed to fail."

For a moment or two, her expression seemed as hopeless as his.  And then, something sparked, and she smiled, patting his head.

         "Let's try again, okie dokie?"
         "Mfhahwhah." Said Mac.

         "Eto…" Kaori thought for a moment, licked her lips, then started. "Let's see, think about Jonsu-san, Moby?"

Mac's ears pricked curiously, then he leaned back and shrugged.

         "That old guy?  Yeah, what about him?"

         "He's English-u." She stated matter-of-factly, relieved to have caught his interest.  "And Ma-chan is Amerika-jin, ne?  Remember when Moby-san offered to be your roommate when he couldn't have Zoe-senpai?"

         "Yeah…" Mac spit grumpily, "Then when I started listening to my tunes he locked me out and I slept in the hall."

         "See!  In the American Revolution, the Amerika-jins helped the English-u win a war, but then they wouldn't give them the land they fought for."  Not the whole truth, she amended privately, and looked over her shoulder for any neighboring Englishmen.

         "Those losers!" Mac exclaimed, looking genuinely interested.  Kaori nodded meekly.

         "Then-u, the English started to tax-u them for small things, like stampsu and sugar, and most importantly, on tea."  Mac nodded meditatively, and Kaori continued.

         "But it got worse.  The Boston Ma…Ma…"

         "Massacre?" Mac inquired.  Kaori blushed and nodded.

         "Hai.  The Boston Massacre killed five Amerika-jins who were teasing the English-u…kind of like how you were teasing Moby-san on Snow Dream last week then he made you crash."

         "Yeah, yeah, blah, blah, blah." Mac grumbled, crossing his arms but remaining focused, for the most part.

         "So to fight back the tax-su, the Amerika-jins boy-u-cotted, and made their own goods.  Demo, the big fight they made was the Boston Tea Party.  PA-TU-RI-O-TSU dressed up like Native Amerika-jins and threw all the English-u tea into Boston harbor.  It's…" She paused thoughtfully, "It's like when you…broke into Moby-san's room and buried all his clothes in the snow."

         "Oh yeah!" Mac puffed with an egotistical smile, "That prank was the bomb!"

         "The bomb?" Kaori inquired briefly.  Mac shook his head, "Go on."

         "Well…Moby-san, like the English-u, was not happy.  They passed the KO-E-RU-SHI-BU A-KU-SU…"

         "Koeru-what?"

Kaori flustered.

         "KO…KO-E-RU-SHI-BU…"

         "Ko-e-bu-bu?"  Mac grinned, and pointed to the 'Coercive Acts' with a smart-aleck smile.  She stuck her tongue out at him, and crossed her arms.

         "I win." He stated, "So admit it.  It was worth ten points."

         "Five." She snapped playfully, even vainly, "Maybe seven."

Mac shrugged, and leaned back as if to listen.  Kaori took this as her cue,

         "So, after fight after fight, the English-u sent a fleet across the ocean to defeat the Amerika-jins."

         "Fat chance." Mac smirked, now tilting his chair back on two legs.

         "But-u, the Amerika-jins prepared, which you don't do, by the way."  She said this in fairly good English, which made Mac scowl slightly.  "They sent riders, like Paul Revere, across Amerika to tell everyone-gu."

         "Like Rahzel tells the crowd on progress." Mac said affirmatively, and to his surprise, Kaori nodded.  "That's right!  The Amerika-jins and the English-u met when the English-u tried to find the ammunition holds.  They fought at RE-BU-SIN-GU and KON-KO-DA."

Somewhere, someone understood.

         But not Mac.  He looked lost, like a man who spent years looking for a light in the dark that wasn't there.  Kaori sighed and pushed the study paper to his side, where he said loudly, "OOHHH" and nodded.

         "Demo, the Amerika-jins were too out-u-numbered-u.  Their chi began to falter-u."

         "Chi?"
         "Chi…" Kaori knocked on her own head now, "Chi…energy?  Ano…spirit-u?"
         "Okay." Mac nodded attentively, leaning back again on the two back legs of his chair.  Kaori smiled.

         "So the Amerika-jins asked for help from the FURENSHU-"

         "ME ASK FOR HELP FROM FRENCHY?!" Mac burst out, lost his balance and fell backwards.  Flustered, he jumped up. "Not in this lifetime!"

         "Demo, demo…" Kaori shook her hands fervently, "They were out-u-numbered-u!"

         "Geez." Mac crossed his arms and sat back down, "What a bunch of losers…"

Kaori bit her lip nervously, then raised her head.

         "In turuth-u, it was the Amerika-jin's chi that won the war." She nodded.  Mac shrugged passively. "At first-u, the Amerika-jin's only wanted justice-u.  Then they wanted freedom-u."

         Meditative silence lapsed between them.  Finally, Kaori cleared her throat.

         "Saa, Ma-chan.  Where did the English-u and the Amerika-jins fight-u first-u?"
         "RE-BU-SIN-GU and KON-KO-DA." 

He looked over, and smiled.

         "BINBO!  You are the winner!"  She smiled happily, "Ten points." 

Disclaimer: I don't own SSX Tricky.

Ah, finished with the third part of the runaway one-shot.  It's about time too.  Anyway, I hope you all enjoyed this little bit of schoolin' on your time off.  It might be best not to use this as a study guide though...

--Arte