Disclaimer: I do not own The Bartimaeus Trilogy, nor You're A Good Man, Charlie Brown, or the song "My Blanket and Me."
This goes out to all the great Broadway/Lord of the Rings fans who knew what I was talking about in "Gollum's Guide to Insanity" and reviewed, and even more, to the weirdos who put it in their C2. Thanks, guys.
Another Note: I apolgize for the formatting, but it's a necessary evil. I can't get busted again for script format, or I'll be kicked off the site. So just use your imagintion and pretend WE'RE ALLOWED TO WRITE SONG PARODIES THE WAY THEY'RE FREAKIN' SUPPOSED TO BE WRITTEN! PRETEND IT'S WRITTEN IN THE "PROPER TEXTUAL FORMATTING" FOR SONG PARODIES! I feel much better now. Ranting always helps. Thanks and have a nice spoon!
KING'S SON "Look at my cousin, Ptolemy, with his stupid demon."
CRONY "There's your little cousin with his silly demon."
KING' SON "Well, you know how magicians are with their demons."
PTOLEMY "What do you mean?
Bartimaeus is extraordinary
And his help is voluntary
But I'm just as self-sufficient as before.
(Bartimaeus raises an eyebrow and mutters "Yeah right.")
As asimple manifestation
Of my unreliant situation
I'll send Bartimaeus away for evermore.
I'll send him away and leave him
Though I know you won't believe him
I'll send Bartimaeus away forevermore.
Yes, I'll send
Him
Away
For
Ever
More…"
(A bull jumps out from behind a corner and lunges towards Ptolemy. Bartimaeus stops it.)
BARTIMAEUS "Please don't do that again, Ptolemy..."
KING'S SON "You're hopeless, Ptolemy…"
PTOLEMY "I thought I could do it. I really thought I could.
It's risky; I know it.
I'll try to outgrow it
But meanwhile…
It's my djinni and me!"