Just Not the Kind of Mask I'd Put On
By: Shattered Hourglass
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.
I don't like it.. The stares, the giggles. The pointing and laughing.
Am I nothing but a clown to amuse them? Is it that hard to understand that I have feelings too? That I don't like being laughed at anymore than they do?
But...
It's not like I act like something's wrong. It's not like I act like I don't enjoy the attention. The mask I wear, foxy grin and all, suits me well.
It's better to wear a happy mask instead of a scornful one. Look at Sasuke-teme. His mask is all full of angst and anger and stuff; so no one knows when he's happy or sad. Same with Gaara. His mask is all like 'gar, I'm gonna kill you.' It scares people, which is what I think he's after, but I don't think it's what he really wants. I don't think it's what either of them want.
I think what they really want is for someone to hug them and tell them that everything's okay and there's nothing to worry about.
I know that's what I want. I want someone to come up to me and hug me. Not cause they feel they have to; or cause they want to cheer me up or comfort me or anything. I want someone to hug me, just cause they want to.
Sounds a lot more simple then it is, I know. That's what Kyuubi-nii is always telling me. I like Kyuubi-nii. He's nice... to me at least. I guess spending twelve years locked up inside a guy can really make you like them more.
He wouldn't come up to me and hug me though. That's just not Kyuubi's style. He might have done it when I was little. It wasn't weird for me to wake up from a bad dream and feel his warmth around me. I'm just a kit to him. A little thing that needs to be protected from the big, mean world out there. But now he says that I'm old enough to not need wimpy things like that. Like love or affection. But that's okay. Cause I know Kyuubi-nii only says that because he doesn't want me to expect it from other people like I did when I was little.
Oh yeah. I bet most people didn't know that. I knew that the Kyuubi was sealed inside of me by the forth Hokage a long time ago. I just didn't know that anyone else knew, cause no one ever called me a fox to my face.
But enough about Kyuubi-nii. What was I talking about before... Hmm... Oh yeah! I was talking about masks.
See mine? It's pretty isn't it? Big blue, innocent eyes that glint with a trouble maker's growing schemes; wide, foxy smile; and soft skin. It's even prettier than Sakura's. Just don't tell her I said that.
Sakura. Her mask is a different kind of mask than most. That's cause Sakura's got more than one of her in her head. Ino said so during the Chunin exams. But anyway, Sakura's one mask is when she acts all sweet and nice and stuff. That's her main personality. The other Sakura, is the scary one. She's the one that comes out whenever Sakura calls me an idiot and smacks me. The other Sakura likes to bash people more than the nice Sakura.
Sakura switches her masks depending on her mood. They aren't hiding anything, really. They're just different parts of her. Like Ying and Yang. Dark and Light. Noodles and broth. Each are a part of each other without being the other or hiding the other. They coexist.
Lee wears a mask too. But that would surprise everybody. His mask is all bravo and guts and yelling and green spandex. But really, if ya watch Lee for a while, you can see how insecure he is. Like how he likes Sakura. He doesn't think he's good enough for her. That's why he's always giving himself tests to prove it. Like catching leaves or the order that he's chosen to fight.
And you can't really think of Lee without thinking of Neji. Neji's like Sasuke-teme and Gaara. He wants someone to hug him and tell him not to worry and everything else. Not that he'd ever admit it or anything.
And Neji's cousin, Hinata? Well, she's hard to figure out. She never really wore a mask when she was little. I think she was always shy and timid. But now she's getting stronger and braver and I don't think it's a mask. I mean, maybe sometimes when she's really scared and pretends she isn't she might put on a brave face. But most of the time she's just sweet, loveable Hinata.
Even when she deals with Kiba. Ack. Kiba. I don't wanna know what he's hiding behind all that fur.
And as for Shino... Shino doesn't wear a mask. He wears sunglasses and a really high collar. I don't know what's behind them, but I bet it's something cool.
Let's see... I talked about Sasuke, and Gaara, and Sakura, and Lee, and Neji, but not Ten Ten. I don't know Ten Ten enough to know what her mask looks like. And I talked about Hinata, and Kiba, and Shino... How about Choji!
Choji mask is see through. It's all transparent like. Cause even if he's a scardy cat and eats a lot; he really cares about people and tries to keep everyone safe and happy.
And his best bud's Shikamaru. His mask is easy to see. It's really lazy. But I guess when you're as smart as he is, it takes so much energy to think so fast, that he doesn't have energy to do anything else. That would really suck. Being really hyper and bouncy on the inside and not having the energy to be that way on the outside. But I guess that if Shikamaru was all bouncy on the outside, his insides wouldn't be able to think as fast cause he'd be moving too fast and stuff.
And Ino, she's really smart too. Not all strategy-like like Shikamaru. She's smart when it comes to the way people act. But not like Neji. Neji reads peoples actions. Ino reads their minds; but not in a freaky psychic mind reader way. More like a 'I know what kind of person you are and how you'll react to different situations' mind reader way. If I had to pick out her mask, I'd choose one that's really stylish. Cause Ino's really stylish. She's a... what did Kiba call her? Oh yeah! She's a prep! She's really worried about being popular and having a boyfriend and having everyone look up to her, so she acts all cool and unworried and stuff even though she has doubts and is constantly figuring out people's motives and stuff.
That's everyone in the rookie nine and Gai's team, and Gaara. All the masks that they wear. I guess I should explain my mask more, eh?
See? Like I said before, it's really pretty. Sakura told me once that if I didn't cause so much trouble and act so obnoxious, that I'd be really cute. But not cute-sexy like Sasuke, or pretty-cute like Neji. She meant adorable-cute that makes girls squeal and get the urge to glomp you.
I saw Sasuke get glomped once. It wasn't pretty.
But I bet people want to know what's under my foxy mask instead of what it looks like. It's not that different. Still has big, blue eyes; cept they're a little more perceptive and a little less mischievous; but only a little less. My grins still there too, but it's just a little smaller, a little more forced. I don't feel like smiling all the time like I do. But it's better to smile than frown. Takes less muscles too! I wonder if Shikamaru knows that. If he did maybe he'd smile more than frown...
But I'm getting off subject again. Let's see, what else is different? My skins just as soft... Stupid Kyuubi-nii making me age slower and look younger cause demons live longer or something like that. Ah... I guess something else that's different is that I give off this whole protect me vibe when I'm not wearing my mask. Least that's what Kyuubi-nii told me when Iruka-sensei started to take care of me and treat me like a little brother. Said that my eyes were always sad and hurt looking and brought out the mommy-instincts in people. Said that a lot of other people would've taken care of me too if they didn't hate me cause he's inside of me. Cause they were human.
He doesn't like humans very much, cept for me. Says that I don't count cause him being inside me for so long makes me an honorary demon. An honorary Kyuubi. That's really cool even if it makes people hate me so much.
But other than that, I'm still the same Naruto you know, and it'd be nice to say love, but I know that that's stretching it. Same happy nature and smiles; just a little more serious and sensitive and starved for attention underneath. But hey, I'm and optimist. Better to look on the bright side then the one that's dark and gloomy. Cause if I did that then my mask would look like Sasuke-teme's. And that's just not the kind of mask I'd put on.