HamHam (Oh, you know the rest:P)
By: i-luv-kitkats
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Disclaimer: Yep, you guessed it. I don't own Hamtaro or it's characters. Another LUCKY person does. I also unfortunately don't own Hungry Jacks or it's food products, Toyota,
HELLO ST.LOUIS!
A guy with a clipboard and a headset walks up to i-luv-kitkats. "This is a website. Not a town."
Oh. HELLO…ummmm…WEBSITE! ARE YOU READY TO READ!
Suddenly, a crowd poofs into the story out nowhere. "YESS!"
I SAID, ARE YOU READY TO READ!
"YES ALREADY! DON'T MAKE US GET UP THERE!"
Um… don't hurt me! I've got a rabid Tasmanian devil with me:picks up a barking madly Tasmanian devil with froth around it's mouth: I named it Fluffy!
The crowd squeaks their chairs back to the very back of the room, trying to get as far away from 'Fluffy'. "YOU CALLED THAT FLUFFY!" A random audience member shouts form the crowd.
THAT'S IT! FLUFFY! KIIIIIILLLL:chucks 'Fluffy' at audience member:
"AHHHHHHHH! GET THE $#&$# DOG OFF ME!"
FLUFFY'S A TASMANIAN DEVIL, JERK:turns to readers: Anyway, here are the thank yous.
Elmo ROX: STOP BUGGING ME! I'M DOING TAKE OUT PLACES IN THIS CHAPTER! Geez… -.-
crystalgurl101: YES! I got your name right this time! Thanks for supporting my story the whole way through! YOU ROCK!
Hannah-chan a.k.a The Evil Illustrator: YAY! Thanks for the kit-kats! Why was Panda trying to get me:sobs: HOW COULD HE?
Faunamon: Is Hardees Hungry Jacks? If it is, I'm doing that in this chapter!April Chikatow: NOOOOO! I don't hate you! DON'T STOP SAYING THE NAMES OF PLACES! I NEEEEEED THEM!
Thanks to everyone that's reviewed so far! YOU ALL GET KIT-KATS:throws 1000s of kit-kits in the air:
"FREE KIT-KATS!" The crowd scrambles for the kit-kats.
I only meant the reviewers…oh, I give up. Enjoy the story! HEY! GET YOUR HANDS OFF THAT KING-SIZE KIT-KAT::dives at crowd:
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Chapter 6- Hamtaro's Big ChoiceThe Ham-hams ran into the court. The gazed at all of it's 'beauty'.
(:starts sobbing: THEY DON'T SELL KIT-KATS! WAAAAAHHHH:a hand with a big kit-kat suddenly appears: OOOOOHHHH:runs after hand with kit-kat:)
A hamster in an orange uniform comes by with a big mop and starts cleaning all of Oxnard's drool. "He likes his food doesn't he?"
All the Ham-hams, besides Oxnard, sighed and nodded. "We're trying to get him to a food addiction rehab center in Hawaii."
------------------------In some rehab center in Hawaii…------------------------
A hamster with a brown moustache, brown fur and wearing a white coat glanced at some papers. "Oh my god. NURSE HAM!"
Nurse Ham walks in. "Yes Doctor Ham?"
Doctor Ham showed Nurse Ham the papers he was looking at.
Nurse Ham gasped dramatically. "This hamster is the worst we've ever had at 'Rehab Clinic For Tubbies'!"
Doctor Ham nodded. "Yes. We must go to this hamster called 'Oxnard' immediately!"
-------------------------------Back At The Food Court------------------------------
The hamster in the orange uniform laughed. "Well, I'll probably see you guys at all the food places, when 'Mr. Food' here drools again. See ya!" He walked off with his broom, humming the tune: 'Lollipop, lollipop, oh lolly lollipop. LOLLIPOP!'
Cappy glanced at their surroundings. "Who should decide where we go first?"
Maxwell stepped forward. "We'll draw straws." He got a whole bunch of straws and held them in his paw. "The person who gets the smallest straw picks where we go first."
Sandy went first. "OH GOD DAMN IT!" She chucked the straw down angrily.
Then Dexter went. "Bother!"
(That sounds a bit weird. But you know, he's supposed to be the polite one and… oh, don't worry…)
Then Penelope. "OOKYOO! #$#! OOKWEE! #$&&!"
The older Ham-hams looked like this at Penelope: 0.0
"Ookwee?" Penelope looked innocently at the others.
Then Bijou went. ":speaks in French angrily:"
(Who knows what she said?)
In the end, Hamtaro got it. "OH YEEEAAAAAHHH!" Hamtaro jumps up on a table nearby. "WHO DA HAM! WHO DA HAM! MEEE!" He pumped his hands in the air over and over again. "BOO-YAAAA!"
Stan pulled Hamtaro off the table. "WE GET THE POINT! So where are we going already!"
Hamtaro looked around. "How about there?" He pointed to a place with the sign 'Hungry Jack's" above it.
The others shrugged. Oxnard drooled on his way there and Bijou was still sobbing about her green fur.
"Where's that cleaner dude when you need him?" Stan sighed.
Oxnard pressed his face against the glass door, panting heavily. The door was completely fogged up by the time he was done. "I'M A COMIN' FOOD!" He raced into Hungry Jacks, and slammed his paws down on the counter.
A hamster wearing a green shirt with an orange outline on the collar and around the actual shirt stared at Oxnard with boredom. A tag with 'My name is Jack. Ask me about our fried pickles!' was pinned in the corner.
(I don't know if that's what colour they're shirts are that colour, but eh…)
"GIMME, GIMME, GIMME!" Oxnard screamed.
Jack stared at Oxnard more. "Can I help you sir?" He asked. Then he suddenly blurted out: "I'm hungry."
(I don't know if anyone got that joke… But it's supposed to be that his name is Jack, and he's hungry? Hungry Jacks? HUNGRY JACKS! Oh, forget it… -.-)
"I said… GIMME, GIMME, GIMME!" Oxnard glared at Jack. "DO YOU UNDERSTAND!"
Jack yawned. "No…. but I'm hungry."
"I DON'T CARE IF YOU'RE HUNGRY! GIMME, GIMME ,GIMME!"
Jack got a chip form the fryer and chewed it slowly. "What? …I'm still hungry."
"I SAID GIMMEEEEEE!"
Jack got a whopper and chomped down on it. "I don't follow."
"GIMME-GIMME-GIMME-GIMME-GIMME-GIMME-GIMME-GIMME-GIMME-GIMME-GIMME-GIMME-GIMME-GIMME-GIMME-GIMME-GIMME-GIMMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" Oxnard screamed.
Jack put a large chips on the counter. "You mean you want this?"
"YESSSSSSSSSSSS!" Oxnard shovelled the chips down his mouth in 3 seconds flat. "I WANT MORE! MORE! MORE! MORE!"
"You have to pay if you want more." Jack said.
Oxnard grabbed his wallet and tipped all his money out on the counter. "NOW WILL YOU GIVE ME MORE!"
Jack grinned and pushed the money in the counter. "Of course."
(Whoa, Jack actually grinned or smiled for once! IT'S A MIRACLE! PRAISE THE LORD! OH WHAT A FEELING, TOYOTA:does that Toyota jump thing as the Toyota ad music plays:)
--------------------------4 Hours of a LOT of eating later…------------------------
Jack's eyes bulged out of his head and his jaw hit the ground when he saw how much Oxnard had ate. "YOU'VE RUN US OUT OF BUSINESS!" He cried, throwing up his arms. "MY BOSS IS GONNA KILL ME!"
Oxnard belched so loud, the food court shook. "Got any more?"
Jack's eyes nearly came out of their sockets when he heard what he said. "NO! YOU ATE IT ALL!"
Oxnard shrugged. "Oh well, let's go guys."
And with that, the Ham-hams left a crying Jack and went to figure out where they were going next.
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THERE! A take out restaurant done! If anyone got the 'Jack is hungry' joke, please tell me if that was funny! And I'd like to thank bunni of the dark, crystalgurl101, Hannah-Chan a.k.a The Evil Illustrator and stan-and-pashmina for putting my story in they're favourite stories! THANKS A BUNCH! And crystalgurl101 put me in her favourite authors! YAYYYY! Stay tuned for the next chapter!
Oxnard walks in. "Hi fans!"
And how did YOU get in here!
"Hamtaro gave us all copies of your key." Oxnard replied.
I'M GOING TO KILL THAT HAMSTER WHEN I FIND HIM:runs out room:
"Um….:looks at readers: Now's the time I can tell you. I BEAT UP HAMTARO! HA, HA, HA, HA, HA, HAAAA!"
Hamtaro jumps in. "NO YOU DIDN'T! I FELL DOWN A FLIGHT OF STAIRS GOD DAMN IT!"
"Yep, we'll believe that. Suuuuuure." Oxnard sighed.
THERE YOU ARE!
"EEEEEEEEEEEEEKKKKKKK!" Hamtaro runs out the room with i-luv-kitkats following.
GET BACK HERE! I PROMISE I WON'T HURT YOU…MUCH!
Oxnard watches Hamtaro screaming like a girl and i-luv-kitkats screaming words TOO inappropriate for K plus running around the room. "REVIEW, PLEASE! REVIEW!"