By: i-luv-kitkats
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Disclaimer: I don't own Hamtaro or it's characters. I'm getting sick of writing that! I also don't own KFC or it's food products, or the Colonel from KFC. I forgot his name. Or Spongebob Squarepants.
Hey readers, I want to say thanks personally to all my reviewers but the bloody Webmaster made a new rule that you can't! Which sucks! Anyway, they haven't forbidden to say thanks to the all reviews in GENERAL so… :blows raspberry in the Webmaster's direction: on you!
Sorry about the late update readers, I was writing the second chapter of my romance story, 'Secrets Of A French Hamster'. I think it's good personally, but make your own opinion and read it. Oh yeah, I got a lot more stress balls, so I'm okay now:grabs stress ball: Ahhh… Sweet un-stressyness.
Mary-Anne walks in with a dictionary. "Is that even a word?"
Oh who cares Mary-Anne! Now go back to doing your job, the vomit cleaner!
Mary-Anne sighs. "Yes ma'am…" She grabs a bucket and a YELLOW sponge. Little does she know, it's Spongebob Squarepants!
"AAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEE! LET ME GO YOU CRAZY- :gurgle gurgle:" Spongebob gets cut off as he gets dunked into the dirty water. ":spits out water: Uuuugggghhhh! That tastes disgusting!"
0.0 You actually tasted the water?
"Yep, tastes NASTY too!" Spongebob complains.
Ewwww:clears throat: Okay, I'll stop commercialising my romance story :cough: itscalledsecretsofafrenchhamster,sopleasereadit :cough: and get on with this one! Hope you enjoy this chapter! Hey, a kit-kat:pounces on cameraman: GIVE ME THAT KIT-KAT! YOU DON'T EVEN LIKE CHOCOLATE!
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Chapter 9 – CHICKEN! YAYYYYY!"AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Get it off! It burns!" Stan screamed, rolling around on the floor. He shook his fur to try to get the water off.
"It's water, how can it burn!" Boss asked.
"I DON'T KNOW, IT JUST DOES GOD DAMN IT!"
"Will this help?" Hamtaro asked. He grabbed a flamethrower and lit Stan on fire.
(I know I'll get bashed by Stan lovers for this, but I swear I won't bash him anymore!
:Stan lovers start chasing i-luv-kitkats with baseball bats: "LEAVE OUR SWEETY-PIE ALONE!"
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH:runs out room:)
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
WHAT ARE YOU DOING YOU DOING YOU MANIAC!" Stan screamed, running around on fire.
Pashmina squealed. "STAN!" She tried to put him out with a bucket of water.
Stan sighed with relief when the fire had gone out. "Thanks Pashmina."
Pashmina blushed. "Sure, no problem."
"Hey wait! I'm wet again! AAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEE!"
"Oh, stop being such a baby!" Bijou scolded.
Stan stopped screaming and sighed. "Alright… sheesh."
Pashmina spoke up. "Can I choose this time?"
"I don't know…" The other Ham-hams said slowly.
(This is what they imagined by the way:
"GIVE ME FREE FOOD NOW, TWERP!" Pashmina shouted at a teenage hamster behind a take out counter. She picked them up by collar. "Or do you want me to hurt you!"
The hamster shook. "N-No!"
"Good! Now FEED ME!"
The hamster started shoving take out food into a giant bag that nearly crushed them. "Would you like fries with that?"
"MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAA!" Pashmina cackled, throwing her head back.
Heh-heh. I love the evil laugh, it's funny.)
"LET ME CHOOOOOOOOSSSSSEEEE!" Pashmina shouted, advancing on the other, innocent Ham-hams with her death glare.
The Ham-hams, besides Pashmina obviously, looked at Pashmina with wide eyes. "Okay, just don't hurt us!"
Pashmina stormed over to…. KFC!
She slammed her paws down on the counter. "HELLO!"
An old man in a white suit suddenly popped up from behind the counter. "Hellooooooooooo!" The man said strangely.
"Um…hello?" The Ham-hams said.
"I'm the Colonel. Need I say more?" Colonel said.
(I don't think that's his name, but it's easier than saying 'The Colonel' every time!)
"Wait, didn't you die or something?" Dexter asked.
"Um… I'm a clone of Colonel. Yes… that'll do…" Colonel said with shifty eyes.
"Oh, okay then." Hamtaro said blankly.
"Whew…" Colonel sighed, wiping his forehead.
"What did you say?"
"I said… whew, it's hot in here!"
"Okie dokie." Sandy said.
"That was close…" Colonel 'whispered'.
"What was that?" Maxwell asked.
"Um… I said… that we're nearly closed!" Colonel quickly covered up.
"Are you sure? Because it sounded like you said 'That was close'. Not 'We're nearly closed'." Maxwell pointed out.
The other Ham-hams nodded in agreement and mumbled something: "Yeah he's right…" "He didn't say 'Whew, it's hot in here' either, right?"
"No! I DID say we're nearly closed! I DID! I DID! I DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIID!" The Colonel stomped on a drumstick.
"No you didn't!" All the Ham-hams shouted at Colonel.
"Yes I did!"
"NO, you DIDN'T!"
"YES! I DID!"
"NO YOU DIDN'T!"
"YESSSS! I DIIIIIID!"
"NO YOU DIDN'T, GOD DAMN IT!"
"OK! I said whew and that was close. HAPPY NOW!" Colonel cried, throwing up his arms.
"Alright, now that's all cleared up, TAKE MY ORDER!" Pashmina said.
"Whoa, what crawled down your back?" Colonel asked.
"NOTHING, I'VE JUST GOT A SMALL CASE OF P.M.S!" Pashmina screamed.
"Small? I don't think so."
"Do you want my money or what!" Pashmina glared at Colonel. "Well?"
"Okay, what do you want?" Colonel asked.
"I want chicken." Pashmina said simply.
"What kind of chicken? We have POPCORN chicken, ORIGINAL FILLET BURGER which has chicken in it…"
"Just give me ANY chicken!" Pashmina cried.
"Okay then." Colonel plops a fresh, clucking, alive chicken in Pashmina's paws.
"EEEEEEEEKKKKKKKK! ALIVE CHICKEN!" Bijou screamed, pointing at the chicken. "EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEVIL!"
"Ohhh, don't say that. You'll hurt its feelings." Colonel started patting the chicken lovingly.
"I want a COOKED chicken. One that I can actually eat!" Pashmina sighed.
Colonel grabbed the chicken by the neck, and it squawked.
(I don't know if they actually squawk, but eh… -.-')
"Okay, I'll cook old Benny here." Colonel went in the back and you heard a: "SQUWAKKKKKkkkkk…."
Dear 'Benny' was cooked and deep-fried.
Colonel walked out with 'Benny' on a large plate, surrounded by different kinds of sauces. Sweet 'n' sour, BBQ, you name it and it was there.
"OH MY GOD HE KILLED BENNY!" Cappy shouted.
(Hee-hee. That kind of sounds like South Park except it's Benny!)
All the Ham-hams gasped in usion. "HE'S A MONSTER!"
"They don't even have cookies here!" Cappy complained.
"Well, what do you expect? We ARE called 'Kentucky FRIED Chicken'!" Colonel said, tapping his foot impatiently.
"WE COULD BE NEXT!" The Ham-hams screamed.
"Why would I cook a hamster? Besides, they taste weird." Colonel explained.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" All the Ham-hams ran out of KFC, with Colonel looking at them with a weird expression.
"What was that all about?"
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Mary-Anne walks in. "No chickens were harmed in this story. See? This is Benny." She holds up Benny, who is still clucking and squawking.
Well, I hope you liked that chapter. I don't know if it was very funny though… .
I wish I could answer every review personally, but you know. Rule broken, and I'm punished. And no one would want that, right?
Hamtaro walks in. "Everyone would."
WOULD YOU SHUT UP YOU LITTLE BRAT!
"I would but I have a disease. 'Chronic Talking When You Shouldn't Disorder'. It's a newly found disease." Hamtaro says, shrugging.
:quietly: Yeah. In you, ya' freak.
"What you say?"
Nothing. Do you have eagle hearing or something?
"NO, I have HASMTER hearing. DUH."
:sighs: Anyway, see you in the next chapter, "Jack Is BA-ACK!" readers. PLEASE REVIEW!