By: i-luv-kitkats
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Disclaimer: I don't own Hamtaro :sob, Burger king or it's food products, Yogi bear, Zeena (I probably spelt that wrong, I KNOW it!), Jenny Craig,
WOW! I'm up to 2-digit chapters! YAYYYYY!
Alleluia music goes on.
Um… anyway, I can't reply to reviews again. Because of the stupid 'rules' and 'I have to obey the Webmaster or my story's is OFF'.
"What's the whole point of saying that?" Mary-Anne asked.
Because… :cough: wehaveapetition :cough: Ahem. Oh yeah, there's going to be a bit of S+M in this chapter, just to please all you S+M fans! Anyway, since I can't reply and I can't think of anything to put in this space, let's get on with the story, dudes!
The readers and reviewers sigh with relief. "She ACTUALLY got on with the story quickly this time! IT'S A MIRACLE!"
The alleluia music comes on again. "ALLELUIA! ALLELUIA! ALLELUIA, ALLELUIA, ALLEEEE-LUIA!
Oh, shut up:switches off stereo with alleluia music: Stupid stereo…
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Chapter 10- The So Called 'Sargent Sandy'
"Ahhh… ah…" The Ham-hams screamed weakly. Then they collapsed.
"That Colonel Sanders guy is NUTS!" Sandy squeaked nervously. (Thanks Jonathan The Ham Ham for his real name too!)
"I agree on that theory!" Maxwell said, nodding.
"Um… Maxy?" Sandy said slowly.
"Yes Sandy wandy, darling?"
"For once, NEVER call me 'Sandy-wandy, darling' again! Second…" Sandy paused.
"Yes Sandy wan- I mean, Sandy?" Maxwell asked, remembering his Ham-girl's strength.
------------------------------------ Flash Back ----------------------------------------
"Sandy sweetie, you set the tablecloth and we'll start this picnic of ours'?" Maxwell asked Sandy pointing to a red and white checked tablecloth in their picnic basket.
Sandy glared at Maxwell with fire in her eyes. "NEVER CALL ME SWEETIE, 'MAXY-WAXY'!" She charged at Maxwell, then punched him –HARD- right in the face.
"OH SON OF A-"
----------------------------------- End Flashback ------------------------------------
Maxwell shuddered at the memory. Then he remembered the REST of the flashback.
------------------------------------ Flash Back ----------------------------------------
Yogi bear comes up from behind a tree and licked his lips. "Mmmm… I LOVE fresh hamster with a side of picnic!"
"WHAT IS THAT!" Maxwell cried, pointing a shaky finger at Yogi bear.
"I'm Yogi bear, and I want you AND your pic-inic basket for lunch! Ah, poop I said what I was doing again… Oh well!" Yogi snarled his teeth and glared at Maxwell. His eyes turned into Maxwell on a plate with a red apple in his mouth like those pigs. He pounced at Maxwell.
Maxwell started screaming like a little girl. "EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK! MOMMY! I WANT MY MO-OM-MMY!" He ran from Yogi bear, who was chasing after him with a knife and fork with a napkin around his neck, flailing his arms and screaming about wanting his mommy.
Sandy sighed. "And he's supposed to be my hero, my knight in shining armour?"
A cricket comes up. "More like your sissy in double knit." Then jumped away before Sandy could squash it.
Sandy sighed again. "Maybe I should pick a new boyfriend…"
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
----------------------------------- End Flashback ------------------------------------
Maxwell shuddered again and turned to Sandy. "You were saying Sandy?"
"WHAT DOES THEORY MEAN?" All the Ham-hams asked at once.
Maxwell threw his arms up in the air dramatically. "Why do I even bother?" Then walked out of the food court grumbling something like: "I need smarter friends…"
"WE HEARD THAT!"
"EEEEEEEEEEKKKKKKKKKKKK! MOMMY! I WANT MY MOMMY! WAHHHHHHHH!" Maxwell screamed, running off screaming again.
"Now I REALLY think I need a new boyfriend!" Sandy grinned evilly at Panda. "Oh… PAN-DAAAAA!"
"AAAAAAAAHHHHH! KEEP AWAY FROM ME YOU CRAZY GIRL!" Panda scrambled out of the food court after Maxwell.
"HEY! I am NOT crazy!" Sandy glared at the other Ham-hams. "AM I!"
"Uh…. No ma'am!" The others saluted at Sandy.
"Damn straight." Sandy said, crossing her arms and nodding. "And I'M choosing this time, RIGHT!"
"No wa- I mean OF COURSE SARGENT SANDY, MA'AM!" The Ham-hams cried in usion.
Sandy suddenly had one of those army style helmets on her head out of no-where and pointed to Burger King. "THAT is our next mission. Can you handle it!"
"HELL NO, MA'AM!"
"ARE YOU GOING TO AT LEAST TRY TO HANDLE IT!" Sandy cried.
"IF YOU SAY SO, MA'AM!"
"Good! Now… ATTAAAAAACK!" Sandy ran towards Burger King, screaming like Zeena. (I spelt wrong again… Because I don't know HOW to spell it!) "AIY AIY AIY AIY AIY AIY AIY AIY AAAIIIIIIIYYYYY!"
The other Ham-hams glanced at each other and walked after the screaming 'Sargent Sandy'.
"PRIVATE!" Sandy yelled at the hamster behind the counter.
The hamster's back was to her and they wore a dark blue shirt with a plastic crown on their head. They jumped. "WHAT THE HELL! What are you doing, strolling in here screaming- AHHHH! IT'S YOU PEOPLE!"
"Jack!" The Ham-hams screamed in usion.
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Yes, the hamster was Jack! Stay tuned for the next chapter:grins:
The man with the clipboard from chapter 5 comes up to i-luv-kitkats. "Um… the chapter hasn't finished yet, Miss i-luv-kitkats."
Oh, okay. Sorry bout that readers!
-Continued Chapter 10, Since I-luv-kitkats Stopped It Accidentally-
"Wh-what the HELL are you doing here!" Jack glanced at Oxnard. "OH DEAR GOD IT'S THAT GUY AGAIN! I GOT FIRED BECAUSE OF THAT FAT TUB OF LARD!"
"HEY! I'M NOT FAT YOU SON OF A-" Oxnard got cut off from what he was going to say, because it's a 'naughty word' for K!
Suddenly, a helicopter with a REALLY fat hamster on the side and another hamster giving the fat hamster a carrot, came bursting into the Burger King all the Ham-hams were.
Then, Doctor Ham and Nurse Ham from chapter 6 jumped out the helicopter and ran up to the Ham-hams. "Where is the hamster called 'Oxnard'? I NEED to know where he is or we'll all DIE!"
All the Ham-hams besides Oxnard point to Oxnard. "IT'S HIM, TAKE HIM!"
"Oh thanks a lot! You're REAL good friends!" Oxnard cried at the others sarcastically.
"That's us!"
"I WAS BEING SARCASTIC!" Oxnard yelled.
"Oh, sorry!"
"Alright little fella, let's put you on a XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX…" Doctor Ham kept saying the word 'Extra' over and over again for awhile.
----------------------------------4 Hours Later…---------------------------------------
"XXXXXXXXXXX large stretcher and take you on the helicopter to… :he goes into a commercial voice: Rehab Clinic For Tubbies! The ONLY rehab clinic for fat hamsters that's in Hawaii so the thin hamsters can laugh at all the FATSOS!" He clears he throat.
"Well you heard the Doctor, get on the XXXXX… oh you get the point large stretcher and go get thiny-fied!" All the other Ham-hams including Nurse Ham try to push Oxnard onto a HUGE stretcher.
(Hey, I made a word! 'Thiny-fied'! WHOO-HOO!)
"NOOOO! I DON'T WANNA EAT CARROTS! OR LOW FAT HAMSTER TREATS! THIS IS LIKE GOING TO JENNY CRAIG!" Oxnard screamed, squirming on the stretcher.
Doctor Ham and nurse Ham start wheeling the stretcher with Oxnard on it into the helicopter. Doctor Ham gives the Ham-hams a little peace out sign then gets in the helicopter too.
"YOU WON'T HEAR THE LAST OF ME! I'LL COME BACK, FATTER THAN EVER! MWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!" The others heard Oxnard shout.
The helicopter struggled to lift off, but finally flew off with Oxnard still laughing evilly.
There was an awkward silence between the Ham-hams. "Well, that was a sudden surprise, huh?" Hamtaro asked.
The others nodded in agreement at the same time. "You got that right."
Sandy went up to Jack. "Anyway… PRIVATE! I want a box of onion rings! NOW, SOLDIER!"
Jack scrambled for a box of onion rings and gave them shakily to Sandy. "H-Here you g-go…"
"YOU MUST SAY MA'AM, PRIVATE!" Sandy yelled at Jack.
Jack shook even more. "H-H-Here y-y-you g-g-go, m-m-m-ma'am!" He gave Sandy a shaky salute.
"That's better! Now, good day Private!" Sandy marched out of Burger King, eating onion rings on the way.
The other Ham-hams sighed and walked after her.
Jack was silent for a minute. "Hey, wait a minute…"
"SHE FORGOT TO PAY! COME BACK HERE YOU FREE-LOADER!"
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Well, another chapter done! Hey, it's my third longest! There wasn't that much food this chapter, I guess… But I'll make it up to you all NEXT chapter!
Hamtaro walks in. "What happens to Oxy anyway?"
You'll have to find out in another chapter.
"BUT I WANT TO KNOW NOWWWW!" Hamtaro whined.
SHUT UP! You'll all find out later:clears throat: Before I forget, remember to R+R, right now!
Yes, now!
DO IT! YOU JUST CLICK THE LITTLE BUTTON THAT SAYS GO NEXT TO 'SUBMIT REVIEW'! DON'T BE LAZY!
"Oh we're DEFINITELY not reviewing now! You called us lazy!"
NOOO! I meant you're all beautiful / handsome people! You just click the button, write down what you want to say and your done! PLEASEE! R+R PEOPLES!