HamHam Take Out Chapter 12: McDonalds MADNESS ness, a hamtaro fanfic

HamHam Take Out

By: i-luv-kitkats

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Disclaimer: I don't own Hamtaro. :sob: STOP REMINDING ME I'M POOR! Or McDonalds and it's food products, Men in black, Cartman from South Park, only RICH people own them. :sob, sob:

GAH! I'm so sorry for not updating for so long! My computer was broken down and I had so much homework because school is back in Australia… :sigh :… DON'T HURT ME PLEEEEEEASE! I have a brother… KILL HIM:every disgusting thing you can think of is thrown at i-luv-kitkats, including some more flaming chainsaws from chapter 11:

Readers cackle evilly. "MWHAHAHAHA:cough: We've had our revenge, now get on with the story already!"

Um… yes. At least they didn't throw tomatoes at me… I DEPISE TOMATOES! THEY CAN ALL DECAPITATE! Oh yeah, thanks to crystalgurl101 for the idea of Howdy and Dexter fighting over which restaurant they should go to, it was a real help!

Readers glare at i-luv-kitkats. "OKAY THAT'S IIIIIIIIIIIIITTTTTT:readers dump lifetime supply of tomatoes on i-luv-kitkats:"

BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Mary-Anne walks in. "We're sorry for the very long awaited arrival of this chapter… Now don't sue. If you don't, we at 'i-luv-kitkats' computer desk' will give you ANOTHER truckload of kitkats. And we DID send you it last time, if you didn't receive one… TELL SOMEONE WHO CARES!... Ahem. On with the story."

BAHHHHHHHHHHH! THERE'S TOMATO JUICE IN MY EYE!

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Chapter 12- McDonalds MADNESS…ness.

As Melinda had had an attempt to get out of the ice cream boulder that was thrown at her by 'Sargent Sandy', the Ham-hams had already went off to decide who got to be the next person to choose.

"ROCK, PAPER, SCISSORS! ROCK, PAPER, SCISSORS! ROCK, PAPER, SCISSORS! ROCK, PAPER, SCISSORS! ROCK, PAPER, SCISSORS! ROCK, PAPER, SCISSORS! ROCK, PAPER, SCISSORS! ROCK, PAPER, SCISSORS! ROCK, PAPER, SCISSORS! ROCK, PAPER, SCISSORS! ROCK, PAPER, SCISSORS! ROCK, PAPER, SCISSORS! ROCK, PAPER, SCISSORS! ROCK, PAPER, SCISSORS! ROCK, PAPER, SCISSORS! ROCK, PAPER, SCISSORS! ROCK, PAPER, SCISSORS! ROCK, PAPER, SCISSORS! ROCK, PAPER, SCISSORS! ROCK, PAPER, SCISSORS! ROCK, PAPER, SCISSORS! ROCK, PAPER, SCISSORS! ROCK, PAPER, SCISSORS! ROCK, PAPER, SCISSORS………." Hamtaro was cut off as Boss clobbered him over the head.

"SHUT UP YOU MORON!" He yelled.

Hamtaro quickly crawled back and put his hands up as a 'shield'. "NOOOO! DON'T HURT MEEEEE! Oxnard has already beaten me up in this story!"

"What the hell are you talking about! This isn't a story, it is real life!" Boss cried, waving his arms around frantically.

Hamtaro laughed nervously. "Heh-heh… Noooo… of course not… heh-heh…"

2 men in black that was behind Hamtaro with small pen looking things walked backwards a bit. "Yes, of course it's not. Now, you shall not remember what the little orange hamster has said." They put black sunglasses and pressed a button on the pen looking thing.

------After a flash from the pen looking thing, 23 minutes later…------

"Uh… like, what happened?" Sandy asked.

"Pfft. God knows what." Stan replied. He was trying to shake a love-smitten Pashmina off of his leg. "GET OFF WOMAN!"

"But Stanyyyyyyyyyyy! I looooooooooooove youuuuuuuuuuuuuu!" Pashmina giggled like a school girl.

"Bah." Stan mumbled.

(Don't ask why, I've just been saying 'Bah' a lot lately. So, I just decided to add it to the story. And there's your SxPness, Ham-Kelly. Heh-heh-heh! Heh… heh. -.-)

"Now, let's start off the rock, paper, scissors idea Hamtaro had a while ago." Boss sighed.

The 2 men came back in. "HOW'D YOU KNOW THAT!"

"I wrote it on my paw." Boss showed his paw and it said in VERY messy writing: 'Hamtaro has a very dumb rock, paper, scissors idea to decide who…' but trailed downwards and couldn't fit the whole message in his VERRRRRYYY small paw.

"Oh." The 2 men walked out.

"Are there going to be anymore distractions?" Sandy cried out in frustration.

A few Hawaiian people in those grass skirts came by with that Hawaiian music. "Oh, don't mind us. Continue!"

Sandy sweatdropped.

"ROCK, PAPER, SCISSORS!" The Ham-hams made a rock, paper or scissors sign with their finger… things.

"OH GOD DAMN IT!" Stan screamed.

"Um… yeah! I'm out too! Damn it!" Pashmina said, beaming at Stan.

"BAH! NO YOU'RE NOT YOU STUPID HAMSTER!" Stan screamed, trying to push a hyper Pashmina away.

"But I only got out because I wanted to be with my Stanyyyyyyyyyyy…!" Pashmina whined, clinging to Stan's arm like she would die if she didn't.

Stan's eyebrow twitched in annoyance. "Get… off… MEEEEEEEEE!" He pushed Pashmina to the ground and zoomed off in a running cloud.

"Oh, STAAAAAAAAAAANYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!" Pashmina cooed, racing after her 'Stany'.

They ignored Stan's pleas for help and kept going.

"NOOOOO!"

"THIS IS SO LIKE, RIGGED!"

"HEY, YOU CHEATED!"

"SON OF A-"

"BUT HE PUSHED MEEEEE…"

"ARE YOU BLIND, THAT IS A ROCK, NOT A PAPER!"

Soon, it was down to Howdy and Dexter.

"OH FOR GOD'S SAKE, HURRY UP!" Boss screamed.

"ROCK, PAPER, SCISSORS! ROCK, PAPER, SCISSORS! ROCK, PAPER, SCISSORS! ROCK, PAPER, SCISSORS! ROCK, PAPER, SCISSORS! ROCK, PAPER, SCISSORS! ROCK, PAPER, SCISSORS! ROCK, PAPER, SCISSORS…"

"BBBBBBAAAHHHHHHHH!" Stan yelled. Pashmina grinned and copied.

"BBBBBBAAAHHHHHHHH!"

"STOP COPYING ME YOU STUPID, PINK SCARFED LUNITIC!"

"Just because I LOOOOOOOOOVE my Stany to bits, I'll forget you said that."

Stan sighed and hit his forehead with his paw.

"ROCK, PAPER, SCISSORS! ROCK, PAPER, SCISSORS! ROCK, PAPER, SCISSORS! ROCK, PAPER, SCISSORS! ROCK, PAPER, SCISSORS! ROCK, PAPER, SCISSORS…"

"THIS IS GETTING RIDICULOUS!" Hamtaro shouted.

"Okay, just because I'M starved, and we ALL know I'M going to win, I'LL pick." Howdy declared.

"HEY! WE DIDN'T FINISH OUR ROCK, PAPER, SCISSORS DUEL!" Dexter yelled at Howdy.

Howdy scowled. "We ALL know I would have won anyway. RIGHT Pashmina?" Howdy batted his eyelashes at Pashmina.

(AAAAHHHHH! That's a disturbing site…)

Pashmina gave him a disgusted look. "UGH! I don't know, now stay away from me or my STANY here will protect me and attack you!"

"WHAT AM I, A DOG!" Stan shouted.

"Oh, but you're a CUTE dog!" Pashmina reassured.

Stan groaned. "What's next, a COLLAR!"

Suddenly, Pashmina pulled out a red collar with a gold charm that said 'My Little Stany!' at the front.

Stan had little dot eyes. "KEEP AWAY FROM ME YOU CRAZY SON OF A-"

"Oh, but Stanyyyyyyyyyyy! I bought it just for youuuuuuuuuu!" Pashmina said, running after Stan once again.

"I'M CHOOSING, COUNTRY BOY!" Dexter yelled.

"HEY! I RESENT THAT… um… FANCY HAMSTER!" Howdy shouted back.

"JUST BECAUSE I HAVE TABLE MANNERS UNLIKE SOME PEOPLE I KNOW… :cough: you:cough:… DOESN'T MEAN I'M SOME PROPERY, FANCY, FRENCH HAMSTER!"

Bijou glared at Dexter with fire in her eyes. "HEY! THAT IS RACIST!"

Dexter laughed nervously. "Uh… sorry?"

Bijou crossed her arms and huffed. "Damn right you are."

"OKAY! To decide you picks, let's do inny meany minny moo!" Hamtaro said cheerfully.

"What the hell is 'inny, meany, minny, MOO'!" Bijou asked.

"It's like 'inny, meany, minny, mo', but you say 'moo' instead of 'mo'."

Bijou sighed. "Only YOU would think of something like that."

"Yeah… HEY!"

"Okay… we'll do Hamtaro's 'inny, minny, minny…' :sigh: 'moo' thing and that'll decide who gets to choose where we go." Boss declared.

Howdy and Dexter kept glaring daggers at each other.

"Inny, meany, minny… I can't believe I'm SAYING this… moo." Boss' finger landed on Dexter, but Howdy pushed him out the way and jumped up and down.

"BOO-YA! I WIN! Who da Ham! Who da Ham!" Howdy pointed at Dexter, who was fuming on the ground. "IN YOUR STUPID FACE!"

"BUT YOU CHEATED! CHEAAAAAAAAAATTTTTT-" Dexter was pushed again by Howdy, who whistled innocently.

Boss sighed. "Okay, let's let Howdy choose."

"YES, YES, YEEESSSSSSSSSS!"

"NNNNNOOOOOOO! RRRRIIIIIIGGGGGGGEEEEEEEDDDDD!"

"Let's go… to that place!" Howdy pointed to a store with 'McDonalds' and the 'M' as a curvy 'M' at the front.

A clown with curly red hair and big red 'lips' greeted them with a huge grin. "HI THERE!" He shouted.

"AAAAAHHHHH! WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU!" All the Ham-hams screamed at once.

"…Sorry. But welcome to McDonalds! You're our… very first customers! You get a discount off all your food today! I'm Ronald McDonald; I'll be serving you this fine day!" The clown named 'Ronald' cried with glee.

All the Ham-hams sweatdropped. "He's really enthusiastic about life, isn't he?" Hamtaro whispered to Dexter. Dexter sighed and nodded. "Yeeeeeeeeeep."

Howdy, on the other hand, was grinning like a 5 year old kid on Christmas day. "How much of a discount?"

"…2." Ronald said bluntly.

"2! I would have at least expected 3!" Howdy sighed. "Oh well, I'll take what I can get."

The other Ham-hams fell over anime style. "YOU CAN'T BARGAIN FOR YOUR LIFE, CAN YOU!"

"What does bargain mean again?" Hamtaro asked.

Bijou sighed and hit him on the back of the head.

"OW! What was that for!"

"For being an idiot."

"Oh… okay!"

Bijou sighed again.

"Okay, I'll have 6 of those Cajun nuggets." Ronald gave Howdy his order and watched as he ate.

Howdy put the whole nugget in his mouth and chewed. Then he swallowed.

"How's it taste Howdy?" Hamtaro asked, rubbing his slowly growing bump on his head.

Howdy's whole body went red. His eyes had fire in them and were green in the background. Tears were coming out of his eyes too. "HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!" he ran around screaming, waving air onto his tongue. "IT BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRNNNNNNNNNNNSSSSSSSSS!GET IT O-O-OOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUTTTTTTTT!" He was now rolling on the floor, screaming and crying.

"So how's it taste Howdy? Good?" Hamtaro asked.

Everyone, excluding Howdy and Hamtaro, sweatdropped. "WHY DO YOU THINK HE'S SCREAMING YOU IDIOT!"

Howdy jumped up and had starry eyes. "ARE YOU KIDDING! THIS IS THE MOST DELICIOUS THING I'VE EVER TASTED!" He shovelled more and more Cajun nuggets into his mouth.

"Um… maybe you shouldn't put so much in your mouth at the same time…" Stan said. The collar was around his neck and Pashmina was cooing about how cute he looked in it.

"Ohhhhhhhh! Doesn't my little Stany look absolutely GORGEOUS!"

"GOD DAMN YOU PINKY, SHUT UP!"

Suddenly, a stream of fire came out of Howdy's mouth. "EVEN HOTTTTTTEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRR!" He ran around screaming again and rolling around. "WWAAAATTTEEEERR! NEED WATEEEEERRRRRRRRRR!" He zoomed towards the machine that made the drinks. He put his head under it and starting drinking like mad. "Ahhhhhhh…. NOOO! BATHROOOOOOOOOOMMMMM!" He ran towards the bathroom. A soft: "Ahhhhhhh…" was heard from outside.

"That's it, I'm outta here." Boss sighed. He walked out of McDonalds.

"WAIT FOR US!" The others screamed, running from a crazy Ronald, who was trying to stuff Cajun nuggets in their mouths.

"BUT YOU'LL LIKE THEM! I SWEAR!"

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WHOOOOO! MY LONGEST CHAPTER I'VE EVER WRITTEN! 1,917 words! I feel so proud… Yes. I need idea on who chooses! I NEEEEEDD HELP!

Hamtaro walks in… again. "Yeah, MENTAL HELP! HAHAHAHAHAHA!" He falls to the floor, laughing.

OH THAT'S IT! SECURITYYYYYYYYYYY!

Hamtaro screams as heaps of big, muscly men start beating him up. "AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH! BUT I'VE ALREADY BEEN BEAT UP IN THIS STORY!"

:cough, cough: Anyway, please review, it keeps me –the author- happy, which makes me update, which makes you –the readers- happy! SO REVIEW AND KEEP THE CYCLE MOVING:cough:

BBBBBAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!