Ron was in the kitchens, once again slamming his head into the wall, only this time he had company. Dobby was standing right next to him, mirroring the confused Gryffindor's movements. Winky looked up drunkenly from her place by the fire and hiccupped mildly in their direction. Ron realized that he needed to stop this before Dobby injured himself.
"Dobby stop it would you. I already told you that you haven't done anything wrong."
"Then why is Weasley punishing himself. Dobby must know. Harry Potter would not be happy if his Weasley became mentally unstable."
"I can't eat, Dobby! That's the problem! Anytime I even think about food, I—well I experience a potentially embarrassing situation because food reminds me of Pansy and when I think about Pansy, I think about what Pansy did to that damn sticky bun and how much I want Pansy to—well…I thought maybe if I came here to eat, it would help, but—"
"Dobby offered Weasley a sticky bun. Dobby is so sorry. Dobby will shut his nose in a cupboard. Dobby will—"
"Dobby will figure out how to help Weasley." This suggestion came from Winky, who cradled a butterbeer in the crook of her arm and winked slowly at Dobby, who blushed.
The Malfoy's former house elf looked at Harry Potter's red-haired friend. Ron was looking despondently at a plate of peas. Suddenly he put his head in his hands.
"I can't survive like this! Even a plate of peas, damn it. Pansy's name begins with a P. I'm going to starve to death in a kitchen full of food."
Dobby's eyes narrowed. "Did she look in Weasley's eyes while playing with the sticky bun?"
"Oh yes. That was the worst part…those violet eyes. It was like taking a bath in purple kool-aid. I felt like she could see right through my clothes and knew exactly what I was thinking."
"Hmmm. Dobby is only a house elf, but he may know something to help Harry's Weasley. Dobby thinks Weasley is a victim of the Art of Alimentarius Corruptela." Dobby's big solemn eyes bored into Ron's now rather wide ones.
"Aliwhatala?" It was a rather menacing name, and Ron looked a little pale under his freckles.
"Alimentarius Corruptela. It means the art of food seduction. It is a spell of sorts. Dobby once heard Mistress speak of it. Many of the ladies in Slytherin use it to umm…attract a mate."
Ron choked incredulously, and Winky giggled and hiccupped loudly.
"Umm, Pansy's attractive and all but why me? I suppose she could have run through the gamut of Slytherin males by now…maybe she's bored." Ron was silent for a moment thinking and distractedly eating the sticky bun Dobby offered him earlier. "If she's bored, then seducing me is nothing but a game. I wouldn't put it past her." His eyes drifted to the black and white tiled floor of the kitchen for a moment. A rather cunning look came over his face. "So far, Pansy has made strong opening moves and I've only responded in a weak defense. If I'm going to survive this game, I need to make some offensive moves…" Ron looked down at his sticky bun in shock. "Hey! How come it's not affecting me anymore?"
"Once the victim of Alimentarius Corruptela knows that he has fallen under the spell, the effects wear off. Of course, ladies keep the spell a secret. Master Lucius, is, as Dobby understands it, still suffering its effects."
"I really didn't need to know that," he shuddered.
"What does Weasley plan to do?"
"I think I'll play some chess."
Dobby looked blankly at the young master, wondering if he had suffered damage from banging his head after all.
By the fire, Winky grinned slyly as she sipped her butterbeer.
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"Draco, darling" Pansy gritted between her teeth, nursing the beginnings of a stress headache, "how in Morgana's name did you manage to seduce any girl in Slytherin? I know you didn't use the tactics that you are attempting with Ginny Weasley, because had you attempted anything as imbecilic on one of us, you would have woken up naked and covered in owl droppings in the Great Hall ten seconds before breakfast in the middle of winter. What is wrong with you? Maybe we should call you the court jester of Slytherin rather than the prince." Pansy was so angry at this point that she was growling.
Looking rather sullen as Pansy tried to undo the results of a rather ingenious hex that had turned each individual hair on his charming head chartreuse, Draco didn't even bother to respond. The truth was that he had no idea what had come over him. He simply couldn't manage to be his usual controlled, suave self around Ginny Weasley. He somehow managed to insult her at the same time he was trying to compliment her. This last time he had tripped—imagine, a Malfoy tripping—and caught himself…on her chest. Draco knew he was lucky to have escaped that one with such minimal damage.
His eyes glossed over and a silly, stupid grin spread lazily across his face. Landing on her chest was a lucky bonus; it could have been Potter. At least Ginny was…softer…Pansy smacked him on the back of the head and hissed at him. Draco pouted, resting his chin on his hand and blowing a strand of violently green hair out of his eyes.
Stupid hex. Really, it wasn't all that brilliant.
Of course, even Pansy seemed to be having trouble undoing the hex. She cursed volubly and creatively as Draco's hair changed to saffron as soon as she thought she had finished returning it to its original white gold.
"Hey Pans--"
Pansy squeaked and cursed. Crabbe had managed to sneak up behind her.
"—there's a package out in the hallway for you." Crabbe turned to Draco. "That's a very lovely shade of blue. The darker stripes are a nice touch," he said politely before lumbering off, trying to suppress his laughter. Draco sent him a patented Malfoy death stare.
Mental note: kill the goons' tutor as unpleasantly as possible, as soon as I figure out who the dead man walking might be.
Sighing, Pansy patted Draco on his strikingly azure head, and walked out into the hallway. She returned moments later with a small box wrapped in green and gold. Happy to have something to take his mind off of his hair, Draco pestered Pansy to open her gift. Instead, she picked up the card that had been lying under the box and opened it.
After a moment, a strange look crossed her face and Pansy turned toward Draco with her wand lifted. "Finite Lorealis," she pronounced with conviction. Then she nodded once and picked up her silver hand mirror. Draco's hair was back to normal.
"What—how did you—thanks, Pansy. How did you know how to remove the hex?"
"You had better be nicer to Weasley for the next few days. He included the counterhex in his card. He seemed to know that I would end up stuck here trying to pick up your mess." She shot Draco a sly look. "He called himself my knight in red and gold armor, saving me from an afternoon of fixing your hair."
Both the Slytherins had a laugh at the Gryffindorkishness of that sentiment.
"Apparently your wiles worked Pansy. What did the Weasel send you?"
Pansy opened the package, pulling out the gift. It was the night from a wizard's chess set. Draco smirked at the cheesiness of the present and turned to look once again in the mirror, checking to make certain his hair was still back to normal. However, Pansy looked more closely at the knight. Her breath caught. The knight was enchanted to look like Ron Weasley, complete with maroon Weasley jumper and freckles. The tiny figure was eating a sticky bun and winking.